A/N: When I say this is crack, I mean I'm not taking the story seriously. I have the plot in my head just not written down. This is serves the purpose for my venting and practice in writing where I don't have to think too deeply into things. Warnings of ooc and if you're okay that, enjoy.

They were at it again.

A loud and muffled moan woke Naruto up in the middle of the night. He blindly reached out to the side of his pillow to find his phone. He flipped the cover and groaned seeing it was only two in the morning.

Maybe they'll be done soon, he thought. So Naruto waited another ten minutes, lying awake on his bed.

"Ah, nhmm…!" came another moan and this time it was more clear. His neighbour's bed springs squeaked and a couple seconds later, it sounded like a weight plopped onto the mattress.

Naruto squeezed his eyes shut and he covered his ears with both hands. My god, he didn't need to know she just came.

"Ugh…" A deep groan. There was panting and wet sucking noises.

Once the sounds stopped coming, Naruto strained his ears to make sure it really stopped. When he was certain his neighbours were done, he removed his hands from his ears and pulled his covers close. As he snuggled into the blanket, he heard someone speak.

"Hey baby, want to go for another round? It's been so long since we've seen each other," a woman's voice said. A grunt followed and something banging—most likely a bed—the wall separating Naruto's and his neighbour's rooms started again.

Biting his lip in frustration, he tossed and turned several times and even hummed in an attempt to block out the noises.

"Oh, so good, right there!" screamed a voice.

That was it. Naruto got off his bed and swung his door open. He squinted at the lit hallway and started pounding on his neighbour's door.

"Guys, I know you're in there and I need you to shut up," he called. Naruto opened his mouth to say some more when the door in his face whipped back.

"I'm not sorry."

Gaping, Naruto just blinked at him before spitting, "Sasuke, I don't care. I just need you two to stop. You know I have to get up early for class!"

Sasuke leaned a forearm on the doorframe and tilted his head. "Yeah, and I don't care either," he said.

"Naruto?"

"Sakura…" Naruto whined. They talked about this.

"I know, I know. But can you let this slide? Just for tonight?" Sakura pleaded, eyebrows knit. She hid behind Sasuke and he knew immediately she wasn't wearing anything. He could see the side of her boob she couldn't cover up. Naruto snorted at his own thoughts and he had to correct himself. It was that she didn't bother to cover up. Sure the three of them were childhood friends, but really? Thank sweet Jesus Sasuke put on his tomato patterned boxers before answering the door though.

At this point he was gone too far with this strange casual intimacy Sasuke, him and Sakura had. It felt normal and that was bad. What if Naruto got a girlfriend and couldn't get it up because he'd seen his best friends stark naked on a daily basis? He'd practically become immune to their shameless behaviour around him. Another naked body might not do it for him.

"Fine," he said and crossed his arms. "But only if you guys stop having sex and let me sleep now."

Sakura took a deep breath, pacing back in Sasuke's apartment. She came back a moment later and answered, "No."

"No?" Naruto blinked. "What do you mean no? You guys can't just, ugh." He threw his hands down in frustration. "I have an early class, please!"

His friend clapped her hands together and shut her eyes. "Please. After one more round, I promise we'll be done and you can sleep," Sakura said.

A sigh. Sasuke walked away from the door and Naruto heard the fridge open. He could see Sasuke come into his field of vision again. The man sat down on a chair and cracked a can of beer, taking a few gulps.

"Naruto…" Sakura pleaded again and Sasuke's can of beer thunked on the table.

"You heard her, now go sleep," he said.

"Fine. Man you guys suck and I just said I can't until you're done you stupid bastard!" Naruto retorted.

Sasuke's hand stopped mid-way in the air before his lips touched the can. He arched an eyebrow.

"Is that jealousy I hear?" he taunted.

"Who says I'm jealous?" Naruto shouted, stepping forward when Sakura's hand pressed his chest.

"No arguing. Save it for next time," she said, smiling and slammed the door closed.

Naruto made his way back into his room, grumbling curses along the way and flopped onto his bed. He'd have to deal with them having one more round.

"Fuck, Sakura so tight!" Sasuke shouted and moaned.

He couldn't believe the bastard was being loud on purpose. How typical of Sasuke to take every chance he could to get under Naruto's nerves.

"Oh, Sasuke, baby so hard. Mhhhn!"

This time it was Sakura. Were they banding and ganging on him tonight or what? Naruto grabbed the edges of his pillow and sandwiched the side of his head, filtering out at least a little of his friends' happy hour. He heard murmurs and they grew in volume.

"Hey!" Sasuke called at the same time as his wall banged. Naruto released his grip on his pillow, ears free to hear.

"What?" he called back. There were rustling sounds on the other side and he wondered if they were still going at it.

"Sakura wants to ask you something, dobe."

He heard Sakura scream, "O-oh, yes. Grind that spot, Sasuke."

That answered his question.

"Are you free tomorrow?" Sakura asked while their bed kept squeaking and bouncing.

"After my one morning class, yeah. Why?"

"We're going to meet up with a classmate of m—Sasuke mnn..Stop for a second," she said and the sounds ceased. "A friend of mine's moving back into town and we're meeting for lunch tomorrow. Want to come?"

Naruto hummed, thinking through his options. He could either play games at Kiba's tomorrow, hang with Shikamaru who probably won't be at his place or mooch off a free lunch from Sasuke.

"Sure," he replied. He heard Sakura giggle and frowned at that. He shrugged his unease and rolled onto his side, sinking into his bed. He trusted Sakura, nothing bad would happen.

The next morning, Naruto quickly dressed and rushed to his creative writing class. He was no good in it, but took it anyways. Jiraiya, his godfather had suggested he try his hand at writing since he believed Naruto to have talent. How right he was, he thought and refrained from rolling his eyes.

The hour and a half passed by in a blur and Naruto was grateful the instructor dismissed the class 20 minutes early. He was on the verge of falling asleep. He ran home, dropping his backpack on the couch.

Naruto checked the time on his phone and decided to hang in Sasuke's place. If he was going to have to wait another hour and a half until lunch, he was going to use it to chat with Sakura—who's always at Sasuke's even though she wasn't living with him—instead of doing nothing in his room.

It wasn't like Naruto owned any games and he really, he didn't have a tv. There was hardly anything in his room, nothing to do. Sometimes it was kind of lonely like that. His eyes caught the Polaroid sitting on the kitchen counter and smiled. Maybe there was one thing that he liked doing that he actually had.

"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto said, knocking the door lightly. "You there?"

He got no response and sighed, digging into his jean pocket. He took out a key and let himself in. Naruto slipped his sneakers off and paused when he heard a clank. He stepped into the kitchen and spot Sasuke.

"Why didn't you open the door if you wer—Oh my fucking god you guys." Naruto shielded his face with a hand, peeking in between his fingers. Was he seeing right? No tricks?

Sasuke grunted. "I gave you a key for a reason. Don't feel like opening it every time you come over," he answered and Naruto dropped his hand just in time to see the guy thrust forward.

"Yeah and I don't think I need to see this every time I walk in," Naruto said, seating himself on a black wooden chair. He leaned back, staring at the sink.

"Naruto, you're here. Want a snack? I can scramble some eggs for you or do you want a toast?" Sakura sat up on the counter.

"No, it's okay," Naruto declined. He didn't feel like eating anything made in the kitchen right now. Not when Sasuke had Sakura on the counter, her naked ass kissing the quartz countertop. Absolutely not when they were fucking on the countertop.

"Okay then. You're pretty early for once," Sakura commented and the two lovers proceeded having sex. Naruto sat in his seat bored out of his mind for the next hour while the kitchen was filled was slapping noises, wets squelching sounds, a lot of things. He slid the window, allowing fresh air to take away the musky scent that was making the room stuffy.

"Thanks," Sasuke mumbled as him and Sakura cleaned up their mess. He shrugged.

The door knocked and Sakura fixed her hair as she went to answer it.

"Hinata, hi. It's been so long! Come in. Let me and Sasuke get ready and we'll go," she said.

A woman with long, midnight purple hair was towed into the kitchen.

"Wait here," Sakura said and disappeared into Sasuke's bedroom.

The woman stood where Sakura left her, looking nervous. Naruto tilted his head to the side, shifting in his seat.

"Hi, nice to meet you," he said. "I'm Naruto."

The woman jumped. She faced him and nodded. "N-nice to meet you…I'm Hinata," she said.

"Hope we can get along." Naruto stuck out a hand.

At a loss, Hinata simply blinked at his offered hand and wiped her palm on her thin purple hoody. She slowly reached out her hand, pulling back a bit in hesitance. Naruto grabbed her hand and shook once. Hinata smiled shyly.

Sakura came into the kitchen, spotting their joined hands. "Reconnecting already, huh?"

What?

"Doubt it," Sasuke said, coming out from the bathroom. He slipped on a black V-neck shirt.

A girlish squeak caught Naruto's attention and his gaze landed on Hinata. She had her hands covering her eyes and at first he was confused at why. He turned back to Sasuke. It was because he walked in half naked.

That's cute.

"Okay, let's go," Sakura said and they shuffled out of Sasuke's flat. The girls were ahead, chatting happily on their way to the elevator. Naruto waited while Sasuke locked the door.

"Do you remember her?" Sasuke asked, jamming the key into the hole. He shoved the key into his pocket and the two of them walked side by side. Judging by his friend's silence, Naruto forgot.

"She was in our elementary class," he explained. "Hinata. Remember that quiet girl that always sat in the corner?"

The quiet girl in our class?

"That's her?" he asked.

"Yeah, that's her," Sasuke confirmed, a smirk spreading on his face.

"Well, um, damn."

An elbow jabbed at his rib and he hissed, "What?" Naruto looked at Sasuke, frowning.

"You were checking her out. This is good, gotta let Sakura know about this," Sasuke said, chuckling. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and paced in front of Naruto.

What was that about?