Friday P.M.
(4: 28) Youre not going to fucking believe how much she was mad that I hid her tampons.
(4: 32)What? Tampons? Uh, who?
(4: 32) Jfc Toni I know youre slow but seriously!
(4: 33) Who is Toni? Um...Who is this?
(4: 33) Holy shit. Wrong number. Sorry.
(4: 33) I have a feeling whoever she is won't be happy…..
(4: 34) Sorry about this. Later.
(4:35) Bye.
Saturday A.M.
(9: 12) She hit me with her frying pan.
(9: 16) Wrong number again.
(9:17) No, no, Im updating you.
(9: 18) Oh...But...Why?
(9: 19) Because tbh Im bored af.
(9: 20) Plus I would be a very terrible person if I left you in suspense wondering my fate.
(9: 21) Ah yes, of course...I have spent many hours pondering what happened to you!
(9: 21) Good to know.
(9: 22) But seriously, who is this?
(9: 23) The awesomest person you've ever met!
(9: 24) Mon Dieu. Alfred, is this you?
(9: 25) Whos Alfred? He sounds lame!
(9: 26) Try telling that to his face...
(9: 27) Um...Nice talking to you again...I guess?
(9: 29) I have to go to the hospital wing anyways. Later!
Sunday A.M.
(11: 23) How's your head?
(11: 30) Fantastic, thank you very much.
(11: 31) You did kind of deserve it though...But why a frying pan?
(11: 32) What are you having for lunch.
(11: 32) Obvious avoidance of question is obvious.
(11: 33) Im having soup surprise for lunch.
(11: 34) That sounds...unappetizing.
(11: 35) You should see it in real life.
(11: 36) No, thank you. I'm good.
(11: 37) You sure? You have not lived until youve seen soup surprise on a Sunday. Someone almost died one time.
(11: 38) Your mom cooks that bad?
(11: 39) Bitch please, Im at a boarding school. Everyone almost dies at some point due to soup surprise.
(11: 41) Ah. That explains the hospital wing and soup surprise.
(11: 42) What are you having for lunch?
(11: 43) You're a stranger and I just met you!
(11: 44) Yes. Because I will totally know your address, home life, and name as soon as you tell me what youre having for lunch.
(11: 45) I am just that awesome.
(11: 45) Good point...I guess.
(11: 46) I'm having peanut butter and jelly.
(11: 47) PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY!
(11: 48) Are you seven years old or something?! Thats so fucking lame!
(11: 49) I'm nineteen, thanks. Don't be jelly of my jelly.
(11: 52) You didn't.
(11: 53) I just did.
(11: 54) Enjoy your soup surprise, Stranger.
Monday P.M.
(7: 56) I can guess where youre living.
(7: 57) Good afternoon as well. I'm pleased to see you survived your soup surprise.
(7: 57) My friend Francis brought us food so it wasnt too bad.
(7: 58) What kind of food?
(7: 59)...Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
(8:00) So you were jelly of my jelly.
(8:01) Was not!
(8: 02) Peanut butter and jelly is still lame but it tastes a hell of a lot better than stupid soup surprise!
(8: 03) I was kidding...You're quick to jump to defense.
(8: 04) Because Francis's pb&js are fucking amazing.
(8: 05) Question: What happens if I add sodium to water. Lots of it.
(8: 06) That's basic grade school! Don't do it!
(8: 07) Im doing it and its going to go off at midnight. Sodium-water bomb set to go off in four hours.
(8: 07) Mon Dieu.
(8: 08) Why are you telling me all this...? I could easily report you to authorities once it happens.
(8: 09) You dont even know my name.
(8: 10) Can we keep it like that?
(8: 11) Youre no fun. Youre so boring. :/
(8: 12) The awesome me has awesome work to do. Bye.
(8: 13) Please don't text me again, eh!
Tuesday P.M.
(5: 01) So how was your little prank?
(5: 03) You didn't want me to text you but its okay for you to text me? No fair.
(5: 03) Drama queen.
(5: 04) King, you mean.
(5: 04) Yes. Bow before me.
(5: 05) I am a rebel and therefore I do not feel the need to bow.
(5: 06) Touche.
(5: 10) Not trying to be rude but...Why do you keep messaging me?
(5: 11) Because my best fucking friends forever are in suspension and I have no one else to text. :(
(5: 12) Oh well I guess that sucks...But why are they in suspension?
(5: 13) Because they took the blame for the explosion in the girls dorm. The sodium bomb.
(5: 14) Wow.
(5: 14) You owe them a cookie or something.
(5: 15) Nahhhh we do all this stuff all the time. This is like what seven times they took the blame out of nine Ive done it for them.
(5: 15) I still think you should probably give them a cookie or something...
(5: 16) Jfc what are you my mother.
(5: 17) I don't know. Maybe. You wouldn't happen to have two fathers, one who gave birth to you that would technically be considered your mother?
(5: 18) I never knew my parents tbh.
(5: 19) So quite possibly.
(5: 20) I should drop the remaining sodium in the toilet.
(5: 21) !
(5: 22) But...They'll know you were actually the one who did it! And you'll get hurt! And you never knew your parents?
(5: 23) Noooooo. No no see then itll make me look like the victim and Franny, Toni and I could get off scott free.
(5: 24) That is probably one of the shittiest plans I've ever heard.
(5: 24) You should hear Tonis plans to take over the world with tomatoes.
(5: 25) Oh goodness gracious...! I'm texting a lunatic!
(5: 26) Yeah but you texted me first this time :)
(5: 27) I regret every decision I have ever made.
(5: 31) Hello?
(5: 32) You havent blocked me, have you?
(5: 33) Well Im going to go dump this sodium down the toilet.
Wednesday A.M.
(8: 12) Oh no! I hope you didn't really do that! I'm sorry! I was busy! You didn't get hurt did you?
(8: 18) I thought I was a lunatic. Why are you texting a lunatic?
(8: 19) I guess that was really mean of me...I'm sorry.
(8: 20) You better be because Im trying to read my physics textbook while texting and stuffing french toast in my mouth.
(8: 21) Wait you can read?
(8: 22) Obviously, Ive been reading your text messages. :/
(8: 23) That was rude of me. Sorry.
(8: 24) Corrected question: You actually study?
(8: 25) No.
(8: 25) But...I thought you were reading your physics textbook...?
(8: 26) This is last minute cramming for a huge test in two hours. Not considered studying, so Roderich tells me.
(8: 27) Who's he?
(8: 28) A fucking prick.
(8: 29) He thinks hes so fucking perfect just because he has like maybe nice hair and can play the violin and shit.
(8: 30) Well you know what?
(8: 31) HE CAN SUCK MY FUCKING DICK!
(8: 32) I feel as if I have opened a can of worms that should have been left unopened...I'm sorry if I've touched a sensitive topic...?
(8:33) Sorry for getting mad. I am trying to read.
(8: 34) Then why are you still answering my messages?
(8: 34) Why are you still texting me?
(8: 35) :/
(8: 36) I guess I'll stop...? Good luck on your physics test, stranger!
(8: 37) Oh wait! You didn't drop the sodium in the toilet, did you?!
(8: 38) PERSON. READING. STUDYING.
(8: 39) I'm sorry!
Wednesday P.M.
(3: 46) How was your test?
(3: 47) I'm still in class gdi.
(3: 47) !?
(3: 48) I attend boarding school. Classes until five thirty. Six sometimes.
(3: 49) Wow...That sounds...Awful.
(3: 51) I dont feel too bad because Ive never attended a school that does end till four or five so I dont know what Im missing.
(3: 52) Yeah...Me neither.
(3: 53) Youre in boarding school too?!
(3: 54) Uh...No.
(3: 55) Oh. Are you homeschooled?
(3: 56) Can we not talk about that? I hardly even know you...
(3: 57) Im pretty sure you know a hell lot more about me then I do about you. :/
(3: 58) Aren't you in class anyways...?
(3: 59) Please, like the awesome me hasnt texted in school enough to know how to get away with it.
(3: 59) You seem confident.
(4:00) Bitch, I might be.
(4:01) Well...Okay...
(4:01) This class is never going to end.
(4: 02) What class you in?
(4:03) Gasp, I cant tell you, ew you creepy stalker. You could totally come stalk me if I told you what CLASS I was in! Im not stupid I see through you!
(4: 04) ._.
(4: 05) Pleeeeeaaassseeeee just like...Tell me a little bit about yourself?
(4: 05) Are you really that bored to be inquiring me of all people to tell about myself?...
(4: 06) Why are you really that boring?
(4: 07) No! I just...
(4: 08) Can I at least play a guessing game?
(4: 09)...Guessing game?
(4: 10) I love guessing games.
(4: 11) I...Guess?
(4: 11) Are you a boy?
(4: 12) What!?
(4: 12) Of course I am!
(4: 13) I didnt know that! :/
(4: 14) I feel offended...!
(4: 15) Well sorry.
(4: 16) If I have to answer these questions then you do too!
(4: 17) The awesome me can handle this.
(4: 17) So...You ARE a boy right?
(4: 18) Omg Im so offended!
(4: 20) You're mean!
(4: 22) :P
(4: 22) My turn...What's your favorite animal?
(4: 23) Birds! Like birds are fucking awesome, you dont even know.
(4: 24) You're right, I don't even know. What kind of birds?
(4: 25) Yellow canaries. I used to have one.
(4: 26) But then he got flushed down a toilet.
(4: 27) Your fascination with flushing things down toilets concerns me.
(4: 28) As it does Franny and Toni.
(4: 29) Whats your favorite animal?
(4: 29) WAIT I WANNA GUESS!
(4: 30) Im really fucking awesome at guessing. Can I?
(4: 31) Shoot.
(4: 32) Okay.
(4: 32) Something large.
(4: 33) And furry.
(4: 34) Very good.
(4: 35) Hell yes Im awesome!
(4: 36) But can you guess specifics?
(4: 37) Dog. Large dogs.
(4: 38) Actually yes!...We used to own a golden retriever...But I like bears as well.
(4: 45) Hello?
(4: 47) Sorry there was a teacher walking up and down the aisle.
(4: 48) Wouldnt want my reputation of never getting caught getting flushed down the toilet.
(4: 49) The same toilet that concerns me and you friends?
(4: 50) The very same.
(4: 51) Hm...
(4: 52) Do you have a brother?
(4: 54) Hey its my turn!
(4: 54) Oops sorry.
(4: 55) ...Do you have a brother?
(4: 56) ._.
(4: 57) Yes.
(4: 58) Whats his name?
(5: 00) Take a guess, guess master.
(5: 01) Alfred!
(5: 01) !?
(5: 02) How'd you know that!?
(5: 03) Because the very first time I texted you you asked me if I was some lame person named Alfred. :P
(5: 05) Oh...
(5: 06) Is he your older or younger bro?
(5: 07) We're twins. It's complicated.
(5: 08) Sounds simple to me.
(5: 09) He's my half-twin.
(5: 10) Nevermind that sounds complicated as fuck.
(5: 11) Yes...It is...Do you have a brother? Or any sort of sibling?
(5: 12) Yes I have a little brother that means the fucking world to me and if we ever meet and you hurt him somehow I will end you. :)
(5: 13) I
(5: 14) Okay...
(5: 15) What's his name?
(5: 15) Guess!
(5:16) A little hint?
(5: 17) Starts with an L.
(5: 18) Larry? Lee? Louis? Langston?
(5: 19) Wow. All those names suck ass.
(5: 20) Landon? Liam? Logan?
(5: 21) Ha. You suck.
(5:22) LEO? LUCAS? LAWRENCE? LEON? LUCIUS? LARS? LINUS?
(5: 23) All of those are wrong.
(5: 24) I have named every L name I know...Please do tell me what his name is.
(5: 25) Ludwig! 3
(5: 26) Wow...German?
(5: 29) Yep :P
(5: 31) What's your name?
(5: 32) Tell me yours.
(5: 33) Um...No...
(5: 34) Then why should I tell you my awesome name!
(5: 34) What should I call you then?
(5: 37) Can I give us names? I like naming things.
(5: 39) I guess...?
(5: 40) YES! I am the awesome Prussia. Since I cant be Germany...
(5: 41) Er...?
(5: 42) Long story. Very long story.
(5: 43) ...So what's my name?
(5: 44) I like birds so...Birdie.
(5: 45) !?
(5: 45) Really!?
(5: 47) Yes really. Be fucking grateful.
(5:55) Class is almost over and the awesome me is wondering where you went.
(5: 56) Sorry! I need to go! talk to you later...
(5: 57) Prussia.
(5: 58) :)
Thursday A.M.
(6: 35) Is this the real liiiiife.
(6: 35) Or is this just fantassyyyyy.
(6: 36) Caught in a landsliiiiide.
(6: 37) No escape from realitttyyyy.
(6: 40) Do you always wake people up with Queen lyrics!?
(6: 41) I just got woken up at six thirty by my alarm. And its Thursday.
(6: 42) So...The first thing you do at six...Is grab your phone and text me Queen?
(6: 44) Obviously. Get with the times, Birdie!
(6: 45) Wow. I feel special.
(6: 46) I forgot since its Thursday I dont have to wake up until nine. Gdi.
(6: 48) I don't have to wake up until eight o'clock but never mind that now.
(6: 50) Sorry Birdie. :(
(6: 52) I forgive you. I guess since I'm already awake it wouldn't hurt to tell you that there shall be no flushing things down the toilet today.
(6: 54) Do not put sodium in the toilet. Or in a fishbowl. Or someone else's breakfast.
(6: 55) YOU JUST GAVE ME AN AWESOME IDEA!
(6: 56) Oh dear! No no ignore everything I said!
(6: 58) Say goodbye to Elizabetas goldfish Eszter and Bence.
(6: 59) Don't you dare hurt any goldfish!
(7:02) Im just kidding no fucking way I would put sodium in Eszter and Bences fishbowl. Those guys are fucking cute. Im probably going to put sodium in Elizabetas breakfast though. Elizabeta go boom boom. Me be happy.
(7:03) You're homicidal.
(7: 04) If you knew Elizabeta youd be homicidal towards her too.
(7: 05) I'm going to safely assume that Elizabeta is the same person who hit you with a frying pan and you hid her tampons?
(7: 06) Ja.
(7: 08) Are you two at war or something? Why?
(7: 09) Id rather not share that information.
(7:10) Youre my friend I dont wanna lose ya early!
(7: 11) You remind me of my friend's friend. He's just like you.
(7: 13) Whats his name?
(7: 14) Matthias.
(7:15) Huh.
(7: 16) Are we still doing the guessing game from yesterday...?
(7: 18) Ja sure!
(7: 19) I think its my turn...What do you look like?
(7: 20) Stalker much?
(7: 21) I'm just curious!
(7: 23) I know :P
(7: 24) Um...I have black hair. And blue eyes.
(7: 25) Wait wait wait green eyes. I have green eyes. Im handsome. So very handsome.
(7: 26)...That's...Not really how you look is it?
(7: 27) No. Last time I told someone how I looked they laughed. And everybody who knows me in real life think Im weird or scary looking anyways. I dont even care much anymore.
(7: 28) Then why not tell me...?
(7 30) Because I just met you as youd delightfully point out. :/
(7: 31) Oh...I'll tell you how I look if you tell me!
(7: 32) Uuuuggghhh fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.
(7: 33) Okay...Um...I have sort of blond hair, and er...Kind of purple-blue eyes? They're a weird color. I'm a little pale because I grew up in Canada and it snowed in the part we lived in a lot, I wear glasses...I'm kind of tall and stuff...That's about it.
(7: 34) You sound hotter than I do. :(
(7: 35)...Thanks...?
(7: 36) Im albino. White/silver hair, red/purple/pink whatever eyes, depending on the day. I've got vertical heterochromia iridum. Tall. Muscular af. Totally hot.
(7: 39) ._.
(7: 42) Nice talking to you but I've got to get up soon for...stuff. Talk to you later?
(7: 43) Okay, Birdie!
Friday P.M.
(10: 11) Birdie.
(10: 13) Birdie.
(10: 15) Birdiiiiieeeee.
(10:19) Im going to drop the sodium in the goldfish bowl.
(10: 20) Don't you dare Prussia!
(10: 21) Wait fuck.
(10: 22) Wheres the rest of my sodium!
(10: 23) I want to assume that Franny and Toni are good guys who took the sodium away from you.
(10: 24) Nice try but Franny and Toni are the type of guys who would be buying me more sodium.
(10: 24) I'm slowly losing faith in humanity.
(10: 26) Dont have faith in anybody but yourself. Maybe.
(10: 27) Thanks I guess...?
(10: 28) What are you doing?
(10: 30) I'm about to step in the shower.
(10: 32) Oh.
(10: 32) Well I guess Ill text you tomorrow.
(10: 33) You can if you want...
(10: 34) Whats it like where you live?
(10: 35) I'm not answering this question while stripping down naked in a bathroom.
(10: 35) Deepest apologies.
(10: 36) The awesome me shall text you later.
(10: 37) Yolo~!
(10: 38) Heh...Bye Prussia.