Mario's Next Adventure
Okay, here is my second fanfiction I have ever written. I have co-written it with my brother, MysticButtCrystal, and it is perhaps the nastiest thing I will ever write. This is not for younger audiences, nor is it for those who will be offended by the warping of beloved video game characters into horrible things. We do not own Mario, or any of the other characters in this story, and we do not gain any profit from this, and Nintendo has not approved of this story. We do, however, own several delicious muffins, but you can't have them. And now for Chapter One.
Chapter 1
An Average Evening At Home
Mario was relaxing in his beach house, sipping a beer. He remembered the day he had liberated the beach house from its previous occupant. Before that day, if you had told Mario you could kill someone with tin foil, he would have laughed at them. Now, though..
He looked over at the Shine in his right hand. It was so.shiny, and warm. It made him feel so comfortable to hold it. A thought formed in his mind. After looking around, Mario slowly loosened his belt, and slipped the Shine into his underwear.
"Mmmmm..warm." he thought, as the Shine spread happiness throughout his body. Suddenly, Peach burst in. "Oh, great," he thought, "The stupid bitch probably wants something. Maybe she'll get kidnapped again, and I won't have to deal with her shit any more. The only reason I put up with her crap is because of all the money."
"Mario.why is your crotch so bulgy? And why is it glowing?!"
"Uhhh.uhhhh.uhhh.El Nino?" he offered.
"Mario, what have you stuck down your pants now?!"
"Nothing! Mmmm.Shine Get.."
"What did you say?!"
"I said mind your own business, ho!"
"Is that a Shine in there?"
"NO!"
Suddenly, disgusted with its unholy confinement, the Shine burst from his pants, and flew through the window, breaking the glass. It bounded away through the ocean, trying desperately to wash itself as it went.
"God damn it," said Mario, "That was my last pair of pants. Now what am I gunna wear?!" He gazed over his now-exposed mountain of a beer belly, and leaned upwards to look over it at his diminutive nuts.
"I think they're sunburned," he commented, and flopped back down on his back, neither upset nor surprised.
"I'm going out tonight," announced Peach, fixing him with that loathsome gaze he so often saw from her.
"Yeah, whatever, bitch, have a good time, while I sit here, writhing in agonizing nut-pain."
"Oh, honestly, it's not like it's the first time you've done that to yourself."
"But it was the first time I used a Shine! How was I to know?!"
"Maybe the way that they're tiny little sun pixies or something," mocked Peach, "Anyways, like I said, I'm going out. Try to find some pants or something while I'm gone. It's enough to make a girl a nun!"
With that, Peach ran out the door, her umbrella thoughtlessly left behind. She traveled up the beach, to a local bar, where she had promised to meet him. She sat down to have a drink while she waited.
Oooo, who is he? Is Peach cheating on Mario? Will Mario ever put on some pants? Find out all this and more than you ever wanted to know in the next chapter!
Okay, here is my second fanfiction I have ever written. I have co-written it with my brother, MysticButtCrystal, and it is perhaps the nastiest thing I will ever write. This is not for younger audiences, nor is it for those who will be offended by the warping of beloved video game characters into horrible things. We do not own Mario, or any of the other characters in this story, and we do not gain any profit from this, and Nintendo has not approved of this story. We do, however, own several delicious muffins, but you can't have them. And now for Chapter One.
Chapter 1
An Average Evening At Home
Mario was relaxing in his beach house, sipping a beer. He remembered the day he had liberated the beach house from its previous occupant. Before that day, if you had told Mario you could kill someone with tin foil, he would have laughed at them. Now, though..
He looked over at the Shine in his right hand. It was so.shiny, and warm. It made him feel so comfortable to hold it. A thought formed in his mind. After looking around, Mario slowly loosened his belt, and slipped the Shine into his underwear.
"Mmmmm..warm." he thought, as the Shine spread happiness throughout his body. Suddenly, Peach burst in. "Oh, great," he thought, "The stupid bitch probably wants something. Maybe she'll get kidnapped again, and I won't have to deal with her shit any more. The only reason I put up with her crap is because of all the money."
"Mario.why is your crotch so bulgy? And why is it glowing?!"
"Uhhh.uhhhh.uhhh.El Nino?" he offered.
"Mario, what have you stuck down your pants now?!"
"Nothing! Mmmm.Shine Get.."
"What did you say?!"
"I said mind your own business, ho!"
"Is that a Shine in there?"
"NO!"
Suddenly, disgusted with its unholy confinement, the Shine burst from his pants, and flew through the window, breaking the glass. It bounded away through the ocean, trying desperately to wash itself as it went.
"God damn it," said Mario, "That was my last pair of pants. Now what am I gunna wear?!" He gazed over his now-exposed mountain of a beer belly, and leaned upwards to look over it at his diminutive nuts.
"I think they're sunburned," he commented, and flopped back down on his back, neither upset nor surprised.
"I'm going out tonight," announced Peach, fixing him with that loathsome gaze he so often saw from her.
"Yeah, whatever, bitch, have a good time, while I sit here, writhing in agonizing nut-pain."
"Oh, honestly, it's not like it's the first time you've done that to yourself."
"But it was the first time I used a Shine! How was I to know?!"
"Maybe the way that they're tiny little sun pixies or something," mocked Peach, "Anyways, like I said, I'm going out. Try to find some pants or something while I'm gone. It's enough to make a girl a nun!"
With that, Peach ran out the door, her umbrella thoughtlessly left behind. She traveled up the beach, to a local bar, where she had promised to meet him. She sat down to have a drink while she waited.
Oooo, who is he? Is Peach cheating on Mario? Will Mario ever put on some pants? Find out all this and more than you ever wanted to know in the next chapter!