A/N: Hello! Good to see you! Hope you enjoy :)

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This chapter is for the lovely ShayaLonnie ~ you can find her in my Favs List.

-Chiseplushie

Tea Lights and Autumn Leaves - Chapter 1: Lifetime #6

"Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, Hermione–"

It was always worse when she died first. Selfishly, it was worse for him.

The grief of being alone and without her felt like the first time, every time.

They were meant for each other. Meant to be together. He didn't know how she dealt with the grief when he died before her, but life went on for them. Life always went on.

Remus gathered his wife in his arms, and held her. His heart throbbed in the base of this throat, his shoulders heaved. He sobbed her name over and over again, as if the sound of it could bring her back to him. Her name turned into howling that brought the Healers and nurses into her room. They gently pried her from his grasp, and he just held onto her hand like an anchor, rubbing his face against her hand. Hermione's wedding band was cold against his cheek.

He could only remember two instances when she died before him. And each time was worse than the last because a bit of him died with her. Although he was 10 years her senior in this lifetime,they were still so young. She was too young to die. They barely had a decade together in this lifetime. And it was never enough time together. He wasn't ready to make funeral arrangements, to deal with Healers and nurses and face their family and friends and and and. The nurses went about their business, stating the time of death, some of them offered comforting words to him. But Remus didn't hear them has he folded into himself, into his grief, and knowing–accepting that she wasn't alive anymore.

He tried to not be angry with her. It wasn't her fault. She had been sick. Remus would get through this life and he'd wait until he could be with her again in their next life together. Hermione wouldn't remember their past lives together. She never did. He missed her.

Remus gasped as he woke. He sat up, running his hands over his chest, his heart pounding wildly in this throat. As the spike of adrenaline ebb away, as his breathing slowed down, he looked around the room to get his bearings. He recognized the room as a Hogwarts dormitory. Gryffindor, if the decor had anything to say about it.

He just woke from a dream…. in his dream he was holding on to something. A ledge, or a pole or … just something. It was all fuzzy, and he couldn't remember exactly. And then he died and dieing had woke him up from his dream. He died! Of course he did. Remus focused and he remembered bits and pieces of his past lives–they were mixed in with his memories of his current life. Were they dreams? He ran his hands through his sand colored hair and – Hermione!

He'd be able to see her dark eyes, warm and bright with life; her curls, soft and wild as her smile. The sound of her laughter. Her voice. The way she smelled– slightly different in every lifetime but always comforting at the same time.

He rifled through his memories of this life and – yes, yes yes. They were the same age in this lifetime. They were the best of friends. But that would change, he would make sure of it. Remus checked the time, and decided to get on with his day even though it was a bit early. With a spring in his step, he padded to the showers to begin to get ready for the rest of his life with Hermione Granger.

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