His goodbye would haunt them both. Calypso and Percy: their goodbye as it should have been.
Disclaimer: I do not own Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Parts of this story were either directly taken from or paraphrased from the Battle of the Labyrinth. All rights go to Rick Riordan.
oOo
"You would be immortal on this island, Percy Jackson. You would never age or die. You could escape your prophecy." She said quietly, staring into his eyes.
He could see her eyes shining with hope, wondering what she was so hopeful about. Why did she want him to stay so badly?
And he allowed himself to entertain for a moment (a moment, nothing more. Anything more, and he would never be able to leave, and the world would be shot to hell) what his life would be like if he stayed. Waking up each day on a island that was the closest Percy had ever seen to paradise. Waking up to a beautiful girl who cared about you, tended to your every need, who did nothing but care for you. (It was not safe to dwell on these thoughts, but he did it anyways, because he really, really wanted to stay.)
"Just like that?" the boy asks, shocked by the ease of which everything could be circumvented (he had been told since he had first discovered the world of demigods and gods and all the things that he once thought were mere myths that he would save or destroy Olympus.).
The girl nodded, tears forming in her eyes, feeling the inevitable departure was close. "Just like that."
Tbe boy is confused. He can't see it. He doesn't know why he's special. This girl is beautiful, more beautiful than Aphrodite herself. She lives in paradise, and she's the kindest soul that he's ever met. She's the dream girl of any boy. (Honestly, who doesn't want a beautiful, smart, kind girlfriend?) Why does she want him to stay with her forever. He's flawed, like any other hero, and he makes mistakes. He makes her cry for no reason. Why does she want him to stay so badly? And so he asks,
"Why me?" It's an innocent question, filled with curiosity, untainted by the knowledge of the Fates and their meddling with this beautiful girl's life, oblivious to the sadness, the tears, and the broken hearts that has made up the vast majority of this beautiful, wonderful girl's life.
The girl doesn't know how to respond. She's spent her life getting her heart broken over and over again. When the boy fell onto her island, she had promised herself she would never become too attached. She would break away before a true connection could be made, and she wouldn't even offer, this time, to let him stay. She didn't want to suffer the same pain she'd been suffering for millennia, but alas, it was not to be. She had offered, now she must tell him the truth.
"You asked, Percy Jackson, about the nature of my curse. I did not want to tell you. The truth is, the Gods send me companionship from time to time. Every hundred years or so, they allow a hero to wash up on my shores, someone who is gravely injured, and is in desperate need of my help. I tend to him, and befriend him, but it is never random. The Fates make sure that the sort of hero they send…"
The girl breaks off. She doesn't trust her voice, doesn't trust that it won't break. That she won't break. It's happening all over again for her. She's caught in a vicious cycle of love and loss, a maelstrom of emotional pain that she's lost in.
The boy doesn't understand. He can see the pain written so clearly on her face, and he is afraid. He's scared he's done something wrong, hurt the person who had quite literally saved his life. He doesn't understand that, in the world, there are crueler things; that the Gods are merciless, that his very own family is very much flawed. He doesn't see the truth yet, because he can't. He doesn't believe the Gods are perfect (no he is not that naïve, not after they tried to kill him last winter), but he believes that they are right in their decisions. He's never considered this girl's story.
"What is it I've done? What have I done to make you so sad? How did I hurt you? Is there anything that I can do fix this?" the boy asks, wondering what he has done. (He's never considered that it's not something he's done, but something that he is fated to do.)
The girl shakes her head, and a choked-up sob escapes her throat. She can't. She's been here before, sending heroes on their way to their battles, to their families, to their lives. To people that they had known and loved for years before they had ever known her. She could never deny any hero that. Not even Odysseus, although she wanted to. (Those seven years were awful. She loved him, but he hated her. She would never do the same thing again.)
The boy wraps his arms around her, trying to comfort her the best way he knows how (For he has always, always been comforted by his mother's hugs, even after he's been a little roughed by his stepfather). As the cotton of his shirt grows damp from her tears, he presses a kiss into her hair.
"What is it, Calypso? Please tell me. I don't want to see you in pain. I want to help you. Please tell me how I can help you."
With a hiccup and a sniffle, the girl wipes away her tears, and attempts to continue the story. The story of her life.
"They send a hero who can never stay. Someone who will never be able to accept my offer of companionship for more than a little while. Someone… who I just can't help but fall in love with." She finishes, staring up at him. There, she's said it. She's laid her feelings out in the open. Despite all her efforts, running away from conversations where he makes her laugh and feel happy, shying away from any mention of her past, she has, once again, put her heart out to be (inevitably) broken once more.
The boy is shocked. Love? The emotion was so foreign to him. He loved his mom. She had taken care of him, raised him, loved him, never yelled at him or blamed him, even when he got kicked out of schools and probably caused more stress than anyone else for his mom. But this beautiful girl, the compassionate soul who had healed him, taken care of him in his hour of need, had actually fallen in love with him. (He doesn't understand why these things happen to him. Annabeth kissed him, and now Calypso was in love with him. His head is confused, but his heart aches, for he sees everything now. The two paths laid out in front of him, and he can only choose one.)
"M-me?" He replies, faltering.
The girl smiles sadly. Despite the situation, the expression on his face could only be described as comical. His eyes are widened, his mouth is open, and his entire expression screams surprise and shock. (A part of her is glad that he hasn't noticed all the little touches, all the little gestures that she wasn't able to stop herself from doing. Another part of her is wishing that he'd realized earlier, and that maybe, just maybe, it would sway his decision.)
"If you could see your face." She says, an insane urge to giggle gripping her for a moment. But only for a moment. "Of course you!"
"But I'm just...just me! I'm just another hero, nobody special. You're beautiful, and smart and everything!" he trails off, not sure how to convey with words how special he thinks she is. (He thinks that even if he had the vocabulary of Athena, he'd still be at a loss to describe everything that she is to him.)
She shakes her head and sighs. He was so special, brave and handsome, humble and self-sacrificing. He'd blown up a volcano and nearly vaporized himself in order to save his friends. She doesn't want to make his life any harder.
"That is enough. When you first arrived, I promised myself that I would not speak of this, no matter how much I might love you. I promised myself that I would let you leave without offering. But I can't. I can't help myself. The Fates knew this, this is why they sent you here. You could stay with me forever on this island, Percy. I'm afraid this is the only way you could truly help me." She turns away, staring out at the horizon, where the first hints of sunrise are showing. The sky is growing lighter, and it promises to be a beautiful sunrise. She won't be able to enjoy it. (She thinks she won't be able to enjoy anything once he's gone. But she will. She'll get over this heartbreak, just like she got over all the ones before him.)
"But I will not ask this of you. You have your life to go back, the world to have to think of the lives of thousands, not just my immortal life. Go. Save the world, my hero, I will hear of your triumphs from Hermes when he visits."
His heart breaks right there and then. Her voice sounds so resigned, so disconsolate and melancholy, that his heart just shatters. (He hasn't figured it out for himself yet, but he loves her, far beyond whatever feelings he had for Annabeth. And if Calypso still watched him while he slept, she would hear her name being mumbled in his dreams, not Annabeth's.)
He stammers and stumbles, not sure what to stay, until she turns around and grabs hold of his arm. He sees the tears streaming down her face and it kills him. But when she speaks, her voice is surprisingly strong and steady.
"Come to the beach, Percy Jackson. I will send you on your way."
Unable to say anything (indeed, even if he was fully in control of his mental faculties, he doubts he'd be able to say anything), he allows her to lead him to the beach. There, waiting for him is a wooden raft. He knows instantly that as soon as he steps on that raft and leaves, he's leaving her behind, and breaking her heart. He doesn't want to do this, so he puts up his final resistance.
"I don't want to go back without you. I can't. I don't know how I can live with myself, knowing that I left you here, when I could have stayed and fixed your problems."
She looks down at her bare feet, her toes clenching the soft sand of the beach.
"Just go. Don't make this any harder on either one of us."
He doesn't accept that he is leaving, but he knows he has no other choice. Out of desperation, a deep primal need to see her again, he promises to come back.
"Maybe I can come back. I promise I'll find a way back." He says, not willing to let go, unwilling to part with her forever.
She can tell that he is pleading with her, holding on to the slim hope that he will find her again. She almost didn't say anything, but the thought of leaving him with false hope was crueler than just telling him the truth.
"You can't. No man ever finds Ogygia twice. After you leave, you will never find me again."
Then, remembering their conversation in her garden, at night, during a happier time, she bends down, and picks a sprig of moonlace from her garden. Stuffing it into his breast pocket, she stands on her tiptoes and kisses him on the forehead. The moment is here, she can feel it. The sun is rising, and he must leave.
"You told me about Manhattan, about how there are no gardens there. Please, when you return, plant the moonlace in Manhattan. Even if I will not be there to see it, plant me a garden in Manhattan. Will you?"
"Of course." He replies. He will do anything for this girl. He doesn't believe that he won't see her again. He will move heaven and Earth if it means that he will see her face, her beautiful smile, her face light up in joy. But he knows that he has a war to fight now, and that he must leave.
Hesitating for only a moment (for in that moment, he once again contemplates staying), he steps onto the raft, which immediately begins to move. He wobbles, surprised by the sudden movement, but quickly balances himself. Understanding that these were the last moments to say his goodbyes, he reaches out a hand, and just barely manages to brush Calypso's outstretched fingers. They stare at each other for a long time, watching their figures got smaller and smaller with distance. At the last second, he remembers something. Without even thinking, the words spill from his lips.
"I love you."
He's not sure if she heard him, but in the distance, he thinks he hears those three words shouted back at him. Or perhaps it was only an echo.
oOo
Sequel forthcoming.
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