"This does not make the child yours," Zedd said as he paced the room before the couple. "She has taken a mate and alerted the high council, you must understand how things are done. You cannot lay with the Mother Confessor and expect to be pulled into the family she is trying to make. Spirits, you could have been lost and Kahlan," he added, coming to a stop before her. "You know the rules, the risks and still you laid with him. How could you be so reckless?"

"I did not intend for this to happen, especially now. I know the risks, we both do-"

"We didn't do anything wrong," Richard interrupted. "She may have released her magic, but she didn't confess-"

"Confessing you is not the only danger," Kahlan whispered. "The spell, wizard," she added after a breath.

"Kahlan-"

"For me, it is the only way," she whispered, keeping her eyes on the older man. "I can't keep-"

"What are you talking about?"

She continued to hold the other man's eyes, even as Richard's hand came to her knee. They were sitting on the edge of the bed, so close they could feel the others warmth over the fires. "There is a spell he can use to take this away from us."

"What?"

"The pain."

Swallowing, the Seeker pulled back his hand and straightened his back, hoping his thoughts were wrong. "I don't understand."

"She wants me to use a spell of removal."

"For what?"

"Her feeling for you."

His heart stopped, his body going stiff instantly. She was still looking at the other man, angering him, but with he refused to let it show. Standing, he licked his lips and gave a brief nod. "Alright," he said in a surprisingly calm tone, "take them away."

"Richard-"

"There's no need for an explanation, but if there was, you are not the one who should give it." Again, his voice was calm, but his words held an entirely different tone. He meant for it to be a quick glance, but as he looked over his shoulder, she met his eyes and he could do nothing more than hold her gaze.

She had a way about the action, one that held him in place through a silent conversation and it was not something unusual. They used it more often than either could grasp, but never in this way. A pained argument that screamed through the quiet that surrounded them, words only the other knew. His eyes softened after a few moments, seeing it from her side and partly in a way he had not thought of. Turning, he faced her and crossed his arms, keeping his guard up as he took a single step toward her.

"Can you give us a minute alone, Zedd?"

"Richard-"

"I promise I will not move," he added, interrupting her words. "Before this happens, I need to say something." The wizard didn't leave the room as the Seeker hoped he would. Instead, he walked to the window on the other side and waited. Richard remained still, his eyes never leaving hers. "When did you think of this plan?"

"Richard-"

"I don't want an excuse, Kahlan. I want the truth. If you've had this planned, why did you... Why did you allow us to make love again?"

The Mother Confessor swallowed, buying herself a moment to find the right words. "I don't know. I never intended for us to go that far, not again, but suddenly we were together and I didn't want anything else."

"What spell is he talking about?"

With a shrug, she dropped her eyes to the floor and licked her lips. "It's one that many have used for centuries. It works close to that of a Confessor, only instead of making the love stronger, it buries it."

"And you just want to hide it within you?"

"Yes and so should you. Richard, we cannot keep doing this, feeling this way and wanting more than we can have. This life, one together, it is not something we can have."

"Alright." She didn't expect his response, a fact he saw upon her face instantly. "If this is what you want, we will both do it."

A series of emotions were racing through her. So many she couldn't hold on to any one of them, making her heart pound and her fear the worst. She nodded, finding it all she was capable of doing, quickly realizing it was not what he wanted her to do.

"We're ready, Zedd."

The wizard walked over to the couple, slowing down as he entered the heat between them, feeling the pained tension. "There is another way-"

"No," Kahlan stated at once, shaking her head. "I told you it was not an option."

"What?"

"Do the spell, wizard."

"There is another spell, one I suggested to Kahlan weeks ago. It mimics confession, perfectly. It will show you how your life would be if you were hers. It will-"

"Do it," he said without hesitation.

She stood and moved between the two men, facing the older man. "You will not use that spell. You cannot do that to him."

"This will show him why you fear the result. The spell will only last two moons and when it is over, he will understand."

"Please do not offer this to him."

"He has the right to chose his own fate, dear one. When it's done, he will see it the way you do."

"What are you afraid of, Kahlan?" Richard asked, grabbing her arm gently. "You want me to see it like you do, don't you?"

"I don't- You being confessed is not... Not like this."

"I can handle two days in love with you, Kahlan."

"Not like this."

"This isn't something you can protect me from."

Lowering her eyes, she stepped closer. "Please don't do this."

"If I requested the same of you, would you-"

"That is not the same thing, Richard."

"It's exactly the same thing." Licking his lips, he looked to his grandfather. "Do it."

A day and half of the next day had gone by, most of hers spent in a warm bath, trying to forget the choice the Seeker had made. She could feel him close, sitting in the room next to hers with the wizard, making sure the spell had done just what he wanted, only without her magic truly attached. Alone with her thoughts, she wondered what it would feel like, to be connected to him in that way. It wasn't long before she began to curse herself for such horrid thoughts. She would never take him, he could never be hers. When the water began to get cold, she stepped out, ignoring her towel and going straight for her blanket, something a little warmer as she made her way to the fire.

"Are you alright, Mistress?"

Her body tensed at his words. "I'm fine."

"I can feel your pain, Mistress."

"Please do not call me that."

"Forgive me, Mother Confessor-"

Looking over her shoulder, she gave a brief smile to ease his mind. "There is nothing to forgive. Please, call me Kahlan."

"Kahlan," he whispered in a voice that was far from the one he usually used with her. "Do you need anything?"

"Many things. None of them, however, are things I can have."

"I don't understand."

"How do you feel?"

"I am sad that you are in pain."

"Do you want to sit with me?"

Nodding eagerly, Richard took a step closer. "If it would please you." He stopped mid-step as she closed her eyes, feeling her heart pound. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No," she lied instantly, her eyes moving to the fire before her. "You may sit with me." He came to her side eagerly, sitting down as close to her as possible. "We're going to stay here for another night," she said quietly, tossing a glance in his direction. He was staring at her with the same glazed over expression every confessed man held, haunting her entirely. "Don't look at me like that."

"How should I-"

"Not like that," Kahlan repeated softly. "I don't understand how you could ask him to do this to you." Blinking, she took in a slow and deep breath, holding his eyes. "Why would you want to live a moment like this?"

"I'd live my entire life this way, if I was to be yours."

"But you aren't mine," she told him sadly. "You should not belong to someone without a choice."

"But I chose, mist- Kahlan. I wanted to be yours, I didn't care how."

"And now? This is how your life would be. You would spend every moment in this way. You have no thought of your own and no- Kiss me."

He didn't hesitate, the Seeker leaned forward and connected their lips, kissing her in a completely different way. She nearly stopped him, but her mind refused. Her magic wouldn't hurt him, not now. Laying with him without fear of destroying him was something she had thought of and imagined more times than she would admit, this was what she longed for, but it was far from what she wanted.

Her body burned with desire, his scent fooling her into, for a moment, believing she was with the him she loved. His touch was the same, though he didn't rush to explore. Instead, he kept some distance between them, his hands on her cheeks. He waited for her encouragement, an action she provided quickly, bringing him to her in a passionate embrace. She lowered her back to the floor, holding him against her while pushing her chest against his. His tongue pushed past her lips, tasting hers as he gave her a sample of his breakfast.

She fought a smile at the taste, the rich honey that lingered from the many pieces of toast he knew he had eaten, his favorite morning snack. Her body began to ache for his and without caution. He may not be the man she loved, not fully, but he knew what he was doing and did so willingly. Who was she to deny herself this, a pleasure only he could ever give her? He wanted to know what it would be like to be hers, to have her magic run through him and now, she would show him.

Turning her head, she pulled at his hair, guiding his lips over her jaw and to her neck. A low moan escaped her, vibrating his lips as he held them firmly against her skin. The voice within her partly begged her to stop him, to end this before she brought them more pain, but the other voice encouraged the pleasure. He was laying above her, kissing her and she had no reason to fear the release of her magic, the moment she longed to have. She could take him as many times as she wanted and she couldn't hurt him, the damage was already done. He was gone, why shouldn't she take advantage of it? This is what he wanted, this, however painful it was for her, was the life he wanted and if she could make him happy, any part of him, if she cared for him at all, she should.

Holding the thought in her mind, she slipped her hand beneath his shirt, taking her time to enjoy the feel of his skin. For such a simple act, it set her on fire, it melted her to him. He was warm, welcoming her timid touch and quietly beckoning for more. His body pushed forward as though he was trying to make it easier for him to touch her, almost like he knew it was what she needed. He continued kissing over her neck, pausing for brief moments to savor the taste of her soft skin. The feel of him above her was just as intoxicating as the man she knew, but the way he moved and touched her, whispered the differences.

Richard always pulled her onto him, giving her the control and ability to stop him as quickly as she needed to. The position never hindered their time together, but gave his hands better access to discover her time and time again. The moments when she would straighten her back and push the fingers of her right hand through her hair, stole his breath. Her raven locks flowed over her shoulders, usually hiding her breasts, but for a few breaths, she was completely exposed to him.

Her mind drifted into nothingness as he kissed over her chest, snaking his tongue across the skin. She could barely think when he was close, when he touched her and especially when his mouth did... A low moan escaped her lips, her fingers scraping gently over his shoulders until they were wrapped in his hair. Arching her back, she tried to get more, more pressure, more of anything he could give and just as he always did, he responded seamlessly. She didn't know when the blanket that had hidden her fell to the floor, but she was glad it had. His hands were roaming freely, bringing him closer and erasing all of the space between them. Her head pushed back as his kisses moved over her stomach, the sensation darkening her eyes. She never imagined pleasures like this existed and each moment with him, she wondered why she had ever prolonged the deed.

His actions were breathtaking, his tongue sampling the soft skin and his hands gently grazing each breast, pausing just long enough to have her back arching in pleasure. His kisses lingered on her stomach, his hands gently holding her waist to keep them close. Kahlan pushed her head back, her mind spinning now in a mix of pleasure and thoughts she wished not to have. The action was filled with the man she loved, the one who was thrilled to have his child growing within her, but this was not him. Her mind went dark as he slid his tongue over her stomach and between the breasts, silencing her thoughts and calling forth a low moan.

Richard pulled his shirt over his head and pushed forward as he reconnected their lips, pressing his chest against hers. Her arms circled around his shoulders, holding him close while deepening their kiss. His skin set hers on fire, a warmth she could find no one else and never wanted away from him. He knew her every desire, her every need and didn't hesitate to act. Gliding his right hand over her thigh, he leaned forward, giving her a small amount of the pressure she needed. With a slight shift of his body, his hand moved between them, gently testing her readiness.

Breaking their kiss, she took in a sharp breath, his name quietly leaving her lips while her hips bucked upward. His fingers worked swiftly, raising her higher while teasing her lips with his. Reaching between them, she pulled loose the laces of his pants and timidly reached inside. She had only touched him this way once before and had worked off the subtle moans he had released, though she was still unsure she had done the right things. His eyes slid closed as she wrapped her fingers around him, letting her pull him free of the khaki fabric.

His lips were upon hers within seconds, silencing the soft moan that escape him. Her hand moved between them as she tried to return his kiss, tried to form a thought to keep from doing what her body begged for. He stroked her in the same rhythm, bringing their hips to rock together. Their breaths came in pants, each sharing the others as though it were their last and neither wanting it to end. When her kisses became to lose focus, he moved into place and within a breath, filled her.

His name left her lips without hesitation, a quiet pant that was quickly lost in the warm air around them. Before she could take another breath, she wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer. Her hold was firm and passionate, needing to feel him against her completely. His body seemed to melt with hers, the puzzle piece that always seemed impossible in her mind, having another fit perfectly with her. This wasn't meant for her, for Confessors.

His fingers pulled her from the brief thought, their rough decent down her side pulling a long moan from deep within her. This is what he wanted, she told herself quickly, needing it to be said before she lost control, before she did what would come most naturally. Lifting her back, she pushed her chest to his, her breasts flattening against his perfect form as she, ever so slowly, ran her nails down his back. His lips traveled slowly over her jaw and down her neck, gently re-exploring her soft skin. The feeling was no different from the man she loved, the actions identical and body warming.

She would never need a blanket as long as he was near, their bodies always finding a way to be an inviting warmth that settled around them. Her soft gasp brought his head from her neck and his eyes to her face, watching carefully. His hips came to hers, holding for a breath before rocking against her, drawing out the pant of his name leaving her lips. Taking his next cue from the scrape of her nails, he moved faster, gliding his right hand over her thigh and up to her side, watching as her head pushed back into the blanket that laid beneath her.

Her arms suddenly tightened around him, bringing him just close enough to make the vision of her a blur to his honey eyes. With her hips raised and pressed to his and her chest flat against his, she let go, her magic soaring free with a rumble that shook the walls with its strength.

The word that then left her lips was one he had never thought to hear her say, but it wasn't the tone of her voice that made him understand why she had said it. She swallowed and released a soft cry, one that he was sure was louder than she intended, but he said nothing. Her hold loosened at once, her palms flying to his chest with a hard push and a gasp for air. She had let go. She had done the very thing she swore not to. Covering her mouth with her right hand, she closed her eyes, hoping to shield her tears from the man watching in silence, the one who had no choice but to love her.

"Spirits, I'm sorry..."

He started to speak, but stopped as she rolled onto her side, letting the fire warm her back. The action told him what she didn't know she needed. Without a word, he laid down beside her and his heart still pounding and body still aching, he pulled her into his arms and held her as tightly as he could. It wasn't long before she cried herself to sleep.

The knock on the door didn't wake her, almost a surprise to the Seeker, even more so as she remained still as it opened and the Wizard entered. The room was lit by the setting sun, perfectly raining through the windows on the other side of the fireplace. The older man made his way to the couple in silence, a frown upon his face as he took in the view.

"How long?"

Richard blinked, his hold remaining firm around her. "I'm not sure. Two hours, maybe."

"Does she know?"

"No," he whispered. "I couldn't- I could feel her agony... I could not add to it by letting her know what her magic did. Not after..." Swallowing, the Seeker drifted his eyes to her, making sure she was still asleep, though the peaceful beat of her heart told him she was. "I wish I could tell her how beautiful it is."

"What?"

"Her magic." Meeting his grandfather's eyes, he sighed. "I felt everything from the spell you placed on me, but when she let go... Zedd, I felt so much more and I don't know how to explain it. I could feel her freedom, her pleasure and her heart beat as though it were my own."

"And?"

He could hear the hopefulness in his voice and the light in his eyes, praying that it caused him to understand the dangers, but in truth, it hadn't. "I've never known anything to be so beautiful."

"Richard-"

"I know what you're going to say, I do, I felt it within her and maybe you're both right, but what if you aren't."

"She has no control of her magic, not when she is in the midst of passion, you have seen it."

"I have and it is not something I will discuss with you, it is not between you and I, but between Kahlan and I."

"Richard-"

"When she wakes up, I will tell her everything and together, we will figure this out."

Locking his jaw, the wizard nodded. He knew better than to argue with him about this, there was nothing he could say. "You must hurry, with you back, we must leave in the morning."

"We will be ready."

Her body went stiff for a moment, instantly telling him that she was awake and that her mind was spinning faster than his heart was racing. Tightening his arms around her, he remained quiet, waiting for the moment she decided on her next move. If this were any other moment, any other time, he would have his hands running over her perfect form, distracting her from any thoughts. He would have her beneath him before she could take another breath and both would be lost in a passion no one else has ever known, but it was impossible for it to happen now.

"How long was I asleep?" Her voice was soft, a rasp that gave away the length of her cry.

"A few hours."

"Zedd, has he come to see you?"

"He did, about two hours after you fell asleep."

He felt her sigh and knew what she was thinking, but said nothing and allowed her to speak. "He was upset, wasn't he?"

"Yes."

Sitting up, Kahlan grabbed the blanket and held it to her chest, embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Richard. I never should have allowed this to happen." Closing her eyes, she took in a deep breath and let herself feel the warmth of the fire. "I knew the dangers, all of them and I still- I should have had more control."

"Kahlan-"

"When did you become you again?"

Sitting up himself, he let out a long sigh, wishing this conversation happened differently. "A moment after you released your magic."

"Wh-"

"I don't understand it either," he interrupted quietly. "I was going to say something, but it wasn't what you needed me to do." Her cheeks were red, embarrassed for having broken down in his arms. "Had I told you, I don't believe there would have been an end to the pain you were feeling, the pain you feel now. You shouldn't feel this way for letting go of your magic, Kahlan."

"I could have-"

"I was already yours."

Turning, she opened her eyes and met his, holding them with an emotion he could feel himself. "And had Zedd not done the spell? What then? What if it had not protected you? How could I have done that to you? I betrayed you."

His hand came to her shoulder as he smiled warmly, comforting her instantly. "No, you didn't. Kahlan if anyone was betrayed, it was you. I hurt you and I knew it before Zedd used the spell. I felt it the minute I agreed and every second afterward. You releasing your magic, that was not a betrayal. That was... Beautiful. I know that I cannot explain it, not properly, but Kahlan, I have never known anything to be that powerful."

"Confessors-"

"I don't mean your magic," he stated through a whisper. "I felt everything you felt, everything. I could feel your pain, the thump of your racing heart as though it was within my own chest and in the moment you released your magic, I felt more. I almost shouted to the spirits when you let go, the feeling... The love you have for me, that is far more powerful than your magic." Pulling back his hand, he sighed as it rested in his lap. "I know that I hurt you, but I do not regret my choice, not now that I know what it feels like. I was yours, completely and in those few hours, you knew how much I loved you. It may have been confession for you, but it was exactly the way I love you now."

"Please do not say that. Richard, there is no loving me, there can't be."

"It's far too late, Mother Confessor." Swallowing, he lowered his eyes and tried to find the right set of words. "I know what you want, but I don't believe I can... I will never be able to let you go, but I understand what is needed of you." Returning his gaze to hers, he gave a sad smile, hoping that somehow, it would make them both feel better. It didn't. "Loving you is not something I can promise to stop doing, but I can promise to stop making it difficult for you. You don't have to come with me to Hartland. We both know what I had hopped to come from the trip, but it is not what you need." His word choice held her attention and she could see the concentration in his eyes, the struggle he faced to speak so clearly and still mean every word. "The rifts will be sealed soon and your home will need you."

"And you?"

Straightening his back, he sighed through a small smile. "I'll need my friend, but she has something far more important to do."

"Richard-"

"I'm sure it will not be the last we see of each other. We always find our way back."

With a heavy sigh, Kahlan brought her right hand to his chest and let her fingers graze the Keeper's mark. "I won't go back on my word. I will go with you to Hartland."

Shaking his head, he pulled her hand from his chest and held it tightly in his lap. "I can't let you. We both know what I hoped would come of that time together and I don't want to pretend that everything is alright."

"Richard-"

"I said that I understood what was needed of you, but I didn't say that it was all right with me. I can't pretend that I don't have feelings for you, it's not something so simple. Kahlan, you carry my child and I know how you feel, I've felt it not long ago and I know that no one else can know she is mine. I will not do anything to jeopardize what we've created and if that means, staying away and keeping-"

"No," she interrupted smoothly. "Having you around is not going to- I don't want to push you away. It may be difficult for us to do this, but I would like to have you close to her. You deserve, at least, that."

"I don't want to hurt you anymore."

"I-"

"I felt it, Kahlan. I felt everything and as happy as I am that for a few hours, I was yours, I can't forget the pain I felt from you. How can I tell you that I love you and then make you endure that kind of pain. You shouldn't have to endure that because I'm selfish."

"You are far from selfish and what pains me is not your love for me, it's that I cannot truly return it. I cannot be the woman I long to be, the one you deserve. We can share a night to an extent, but what then? I have seen the happiness of couples, marriages that stand through it all and that is what you should have." Her voice was quiet, her eyes on their hands, watching his thumbs gently caressing hers. It was a simple action, but meant more than she could say. "There are things you and I cannot have together and those are what you should have the most."

"You're wrong, Kahlan." Her eyes jumped to his, making him laugh. There weren't very many people that would tell a Confess she was wrong. "The only thing worth having is having someone you love, love you in return. That is all I've wanted."

"It is something I cannot give you."

"I know," he whispered, forcing a smile as he squeezed her hands. "You should sleep. Zedd wants us to leave before tomorrow's sunrise."

"He'll never be able to leave without breakfast."

He understood what she wanted to come from her words, but a true smile was not something he could give her in the moment. "I think he has his mind set on something else right now."

Pulling back her hands, she took in a slow breath, the kind she did just before she hid herself away. "I'll be ready when he is."

"Can I get you anything?"

"I'm fine, thank you."

"Kahlan," he said in the tone he used when he was giving someone an order. It wasn't one he used with her often, but a part of her wished he did. "You haven't eaten since yesterday."

"I know, but I'm not hungry."

"What about Makayla?"

She grinned as he crossed his arms, holding her eyes firmly. "I'll find something to eat," she conceded softly. "If Zedd hasn't already eaten everything."

"He would share with you."

"You'd give him no choice."

"Of course not. If any of us want to eat, we have to give strict rules of sharing food."

"The wizard doesn't like rules."

"None of us do."

The smile left her lips at his words, the sound of them ringing in her ears. "Rules are there to protect us."

"Protection isn't always what's needed."

"No, but it keeps us safe."

"From what?" he asked before he could stop himself.

He watched her swallow, her eyes dropping to his lips as she licked her own. She fought a set of words, but as she leaned forward, he was glad she did. For however long she allowed the next action, he would be forever grateful. Her lips touched his and he remained still, using all of his strength to keep his hands between them. She pulled herself close, forgetting the blanket that hid her, the one that quickly dropped to cover his hands. He would never tire of the feel of her kiss, an experience she had never given anyone else. It was full of a passion that match his, different in a single way. Her magic tingled in her soft and plump lips, setting a small fire between them. It was freeing, yet it held him captive, both colliding as their kiss deepened.

Unable to hold back any longer, Richard raised his right hand and slowly brought it to her face. His fingers gently caressed her cheeks while his thumb rested just beneath her jaw, feeling it move between their kisses. Her hand came to his and held it in place as she broke their kiss. Her forehead rested against his, making it difficult to watch her. She was blurry before him, but he could see that her eyes were closed and he could almost hear her thoughts. She wasn't the type of woman who allowed anyone to be close to her and it wouldn't be easy for her to let him go, for her to do what she needed to to keep him safe. He only wished he could make her understand that she was no danger to him.

"I love you, Richard," she whispered quietly, her voice shaking as though she tried to keep the words from him.

With a slow and gentle nod, he smiled and nudged his nose against hers. "I know. That's why you're doing this."

Before he could blink, she was pulling away and covering her chest once again, doing the only thing she could to distract herself from the pain in his voice. "I can't lose you. I- I cannot be the reason you're not there for her."

"I'll always be there, Kahlan, for both of you." Taking a deep breath, he met her teared eyes. "Your father, he- Kahlan what he did to you and Dennee, when he was released from your mother, it wasn't- I would never do that to our daughter."

"I know," she whispered, slouching her shoulders. "That is not something that I fear."

"I don't understand."

"What I fear is far more complicated, selfish and... As ashamed as I am to fear it, I cannot stop myself."

"What?"

Something in his eyes called out to her and it was always the same. She would have no intention of sharing something with him when he would say, almost anything, and the words would flow from her lips. "I am afraid that one day I will be able to take no more and you will become my slave. You will do anything to keep me safe and you would not understand that it is not my life that should be protected. I've already lived more than anyone, any Confessor and that is because of you. When the time comes and I am moments from death... I may be at the end of a blade and I know you will be there, you will kill yourself to protect me, and then what? Richard if you die and I live, I cannot accept that. I cannot let Makayla grow up in a world without you- I cannot live along in this life that caused yours to end."

"Your fear is not selfish, Kahlan. The way that you and I feel, the love we share, it is not selfish of us to want anything but a life together. It is not selfishness that your fear holds, and you should not be ashamed of it. We may not be together in the way that we want, the way other lovers are, but we are together and we are a family. We hold on to a hope and it makes us stronger. It is complicated, yes, but everything worth fighting for is." Giving her a wide smile, he reached out his hand. "Let's get you dressed so you can eat."

"When?" Richard asked as he turned toward his grandfather.

They were in Hartland, their sixth month and three weeks past the moment the rifts were sealed. He hadn't seen the Mother Confessor since that day, his last view of her being that of her standing beside a cliffs edge, watching the world reconnect and become whole again. They had won and he should have been happy, but he wasn't. They said a simple goodbye, neither wanting to make it harder, but their final hug was a tight one. He had promised he would see her again and she gave him that smile of hers, the one that set him on fire. Then, she was gone.

Cara had been sent along, protecting her as though the world knew she carried a child, though she didn't show. The Mord'Sith didn't fight her orders, pleased knowing that she would have fee rein to hurt anyone who approached, stopped only by the older wizard.

Richard had gone home, returning through the gates of Hartland alone and greeted cheerfully. He didn't speak to many people the first few days, avoiding them as he tried to feel comfortable without her. Her scent still lingered on many of this things and as nice as it was, it was killing him. Anna came frequently, a friend who always knew when to come and at times, he hated her for it. She made him feel better and that made it worse. How could he smile and laugh when the woman he loved was gone? She was carrying his child and living alone while he found joy with another woman.

Seeing the wizard now made his heart race, giving his cheeks a reddened glow as he waited for an answer.

"Yesterday. She does not have long and you have the right to be there."

"How is this possible, she should not- she isn't ready for another-"

Zedd smiled warmly, "I am aware, but that is not stopping this child from wishing to be born. Come, we must hurry if I am to be back in time."

"Maybe I shouldn't-"

"Richard," the older man whispered, "I know it is your child she carries."

"And if it is? Zedd, she has a chance to have the life she deserves-"

"It's funny, she told me the same about you. Richard, she sent me to you under the orders that if you did not wish to return with me, I would not push-"

Stepping closer, the Seeker lowered his voice. "She sent you?"

"She did. She gave me strict orders and if you were happy, I was not to ruin it, but I can see clearly. Come with me, Richard."

Swallowing, the young man fought the smile that pulled on his lips. "Let's go."

Kahlan laid in bed, facing away from the door and he was grateful for a moment, glad to have the extra moment to compose himself. He was caught between wanting to cry and wanting to scream with joy, but he could do nothing but wipe beneath an eye as he walked toward her. Her eyes were closed, but her head turned slightly in his direction.

"I wasn't sure you would come."

Kneeling down, he took hold of her right hand and squeezed gently. "I wasn't sure you wanted me to."

Her eyes opened and met his, revealing her every emotion through the light layer of tears. "I was afraid... You've had months to find-"

"Happiness?" he asked through a whisper. "Kahlan, I'm happy with you."

"You can't be."

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"Anna?"

Straightening his back, he sighed, "I never found comfort in her company, not in the way you hoped- thought that I would."

"Why?"

"My heart belongs to someone else. It's not a night of pleasure that I want, but a connection." Moving his eyes to her stomach, he grinned. "You and I, we have that, and it was there before we created Makayla."

"I'm a danger to you."

"Is that why you're wearing the Rada'Han?"

"No," she replied without hesitation. "Not entirely. It is an honor to have a Wizard of the First order present when a Confessor is born, I wanted to protect him as well as my midwife. She did not chose this, the High Council did. My magic began to release with nearly every breath, I didn't want to harm anyone."

"You're not capable of hurting anyone."

"I've hurt you," she whispered quietly.

With a sad smile, he squeezed her hand. "You never meant to."

"That doesn't make it all right, Richard."

"Yes, it does. Kahlan, any pain I have felt is not because you wanted me to. Everything you've done, it has been to protect me, and I understand." Her body tensed in pain as she took in a breath, her attempt to keep it hidden failing fully. "Any hour now..."

"I'm not sure she will wait that long. She seems anxious to join us in this world."

With a wide grin, Richard straightened his back. "No more anxious than we are to meet her."

"What do you think she'll look like?"

It was her attempt to keep her mind from the pain and though he knew it didn't work, he went along, picking up where they mad last left this conversation. "She's going to be beautiful. I'll bet she'll have your hair, your eyes..."

"I'd like her to have yours."

"Yours are prettier."

"I want her to look like you."

"I don't think I would make a very pretty girl, Kahlan."

With a soft chuckle, the Mother Confessor rolled onto her back and pushed her shoulders back. "I don't know, you're very good looking." Tightening her left hand on his, she fought the growl that threatened to leave her. "I don't know how women do this."

"They're the only ones strong enough to."

"You should find Zedd- I-don't-think-we-have-much-longer." The last set of her words came out through one breath and a whimper of pain as her eyes closed.

Three hours had past and her hold on his hand had only grown tighter, her body struggling with the pain and the need to do what came most natural. She didn't notice at first, her magic remaining something in the distance, but as the time passed, it became more pressing, lingering on her fingertips in full force, but unable to be set free. Richard leaned in close to her, watching as the room filled with people, each having a job that would help bring the couple's child into their world. As the wizard grew more excited, Richard couldn't help but wonder and fear what would happen if she gave birth to his son. His heart nearly stopped at the thought, knowing instantly that it would be the day he not only lost a child, but the woman he loved as well. She would not allow anything to happen to him, no matter what was said and it would cause her her life, and she would have it no other way. He began to plan in case it was to happen, his eyes quickly darting around the room to find anything he could to hold off her guards until he could get them out of the room and there another problem began. She would not be in any condition to run away, to jump from the bed she now laid in to climb from one of the windows in her room. She would hand him their child, kiss him and that would be the end.

Her soft whimper brought his mind back to the moment and as he met her eyes, he was surprised to receive the expression that told him that she was thinking of the same things. She looked tired, beautiful in every way, but there was something he couldn't place. A layer of sweat covered her face, holding several stands of her hair to her skin without mercy, holding his attention until she forced a small smile.

"She's nearly here."

With a wide grin, he nodded, words failing to form in the moment.

"Mother Confessor, this- I am sorry, but we need you to push just a little harder. I know that it hurts, but she needs your help and if you don't..." A loud cry left her lips as her head fell back, her body shaking as she struggled to do what her midwife requested of her. Richard stared, in awe and concern, wondering how anyone could endure such pain. "That's right, good. Just a little more and we will be able to help pull her free, but... Mother Confessor, this may rip you apart."

"She-must-survive," Kahlan managed to growl through her pain, holding the other woman's eyes. "You-Save-Her-Not-Me."

The room went silent for the Seeker, but as he looked around, he knew it to be loud. The woman at the foot of the bed appeared to be shouting as she motioned to someone at the door, her face in partial panic. His hand was numb from the hold Kahlan had on it, making his mind reason that she still had the strength to hold on, to survive what was coming. Zedd, leaned over the other woman, taking one of the towels and shoving it in the large pot of water that sat beside the fire. The sunlight blazed through the window across the room, making the shadows dance as the people moved around the room, making it appear as though there were more of them. His heart thumped in his ears, his breath coming in pants that he tried to hide and as he looked over to the woman he loved, his world stopped.

"She's beautiful, Mother Confessor."

Her body relaxed completely, her back falling to the bed as she let out another heated moan that was filled with triumph and pain all the same. A smile covered her lips as her eyes fell closed, the sound of Makayla's cry filling the room.

"Do you hear that?" she asked in a partial whisper. "It's beautiful."

Grinning, Richard watched as their daughter was wrapped in a blanket, his eyes finding it difficult to move. "Yes, it is."

"She's beautiful, Mother Confessor," the midwife said as she walked to the side of the bed, ready to hand the child to her mother. "You both should rest-"

"We will, just as soon as we've said hello." She struggled to sit up, but quickly accepted the Seeker's help. "Thank you." Taking their daughter into her arms, Kahlan brought her to her chest and let out a slow breath. She was suddenly filled with energy and for a moment, she feared her racing heart would upset the child. "Hi, Makayla." Shifting her shoulders, the new mother made it easier for Richard to look on as she motioned for him to join her on the bed. "It's hard to believe she is real."

"She's beautiful," the Seeker mused softly.

"I was worried she would look like Zedd," Kahlan laughed. "She'd never have a chance."

"No, she wouldn't. Luckily, she looks more like you."

"I don't see it," he whispered as he leaned closer. "She is just as beautiful as you."

Giving him a wide smile, she shifted beside him, turning toward his warmth. "Hold her."

With a soft chuckle, he took the small bundle from her arms, knowing it was best not to disobey an order she gave him. Makayla looked up at him and just as her mother did, he knew, she was looking deep inside, seeing every little secret he had. "Hi."

Laying her head on his shoulder, Kahlan watched their daughter for a moment, her breathing slowing as she took in the sight. She was suddenly exhausted and found it hard to keep her eyes open. The instant she blinked she knew and refused to let him know. "She likes you."

"I don't know," he replied quickly. "She seems to be thinking about it."

"Even is she is," she whispered tiredly, her eyes falling closed. "She'll come to the conclusion. She will never love anyone more."

He looked to her instantly, hearing the difference in her tone, the one that filled him with alarm. "Kahlan?"

"Mmm," she responded softly. "I'm going to rest for a little while."

Panic filled him as he turned and saw the paleness of her skin. He shouted to the hall, knowing his grandfather had lingered and just as his cry for help escape his lips, the door opened and the wizard rushed inside. The instant he reached the bedside, he took in a deep breath and the Seeker demanded that he heal the Mother Confessor.

"Don't just stand there, Zedd! Help her!"

"There is nothing-"

"Heal her!"

"There is nothing to heal. Her body is recovering on it's own and her magic is using her strength. You must give her time to gather it into her control. She is strong, it will not be long."

"Take off the Rada'Han-"

"If I remove the metal, she will release her magic and you will be lost, we both will."

"No," Richard stated quickly. "She's strong enough to hold it in, she has for so long. Zedd please, leave me the key, I-"

Shaking his head, the wizard gave a sad smile. "This is the way she must recover."

"Zedd, please... Remove the Rada'Han."

"I'm sorry, but I can't do that." Stepping closer, the older man looked down at the child in his grandson's arms. "She has your forehead and nose."

"Zedd-"

"You will have a decision to make when she is older. If she carries any of your magic, what the two of you have done will be known."

"What will happen?"

"I cannot say, but she will have the High Council to answer to. It is not something a Confessor has done before. Taking another man after she's chosen her mate, before she conceived a child and after they had taken his land... Richard, she-"

"We laid together before she took him as her mate. I believe it is the reason she did so."

"When she awakes, we must discuss what is to follow. There are not many options, but she must make a choice."

Makayla wiggled in her fathers arms, drawing their attention before letting out a soft whimper that told him more than a cry could. "She's hungry..."

Without thought, he cradled her to his chest with his right hand, and with his left, he pulled gently on Kahlan's shoulder until she was lying more on her side, facing him. There was a look of pain on her face, but he knew that not feeding their daughter would bring her more. Laying the small child between them, he unbuttoned the top of her shirt and exposed her right breast. Blowing against his hand, he tried to make sure that it was warm before he brought her to their, patiently awaiting, daughter.

When he look up, he realized that he was now alone, the wizard having left in the brief moment. With a soft sigh, he looked down to his daughter and grinned. "He's going to love you, Makayla." Kahlan's heart was pounding, proof laying in the pulsing vein in her neck, gaining his attention. "Your mother is going to wake up soon, I promise. She going to hold you, and when she does, you'll never going to want her to let you go. We use to talk about you, imagining what you would look like, how you would smile, and if you'd eat the palace as your grandfather often does... From our conversations, I could almost see you running through the trees, looking over your shoulder as you taunted that I could not catch you."

"You're going to learn so much from her, and Makayla, I pray to the spirits that you have her heart. You will understand one day, though we both wish you didn't have to endure what is sure to come in your direction. You are different, but that doesn't mean that you should be feared or that you should cause people to fear you. In time, your people may come to see you the way that they should. You and your mother, you're not monsters, you are far from that description."

He watched her as she ate, finding it difficult to move his eyes away for fear that he would miss a breath. Kahlan's breathing began to deepen, making his heart and mind relax as he imagined her awaking to the beautiful sight of their daughter. He began to wonder what her thoughts would be and how she would feel. They never spoke of what would come of them when Makayla was born, only that she would never keep him away. Would she want him to stay? Would she want them to go back to how they had been before? They could sneak away, share a passionate kiss or a night camping beneath the stars as they once did. There were many possibilities and he seemed to think of them all, including the ones that made his heart ache.

Maybe she would only want him to have a relationship with their daughter, leaving her free to do what she needed to and take a mate. It was something he knew would come and it wouldn't be long before she was expected to give the High Council another child. His stomach turned at the thought of her with another man, though he knew it was the same way she would feel. It was a necessity, but she didn't see it as her duty alone, not now that she loved someone. He offed tried to see it the way she did, imaging himself in her place, but it wasn't long before he was almost overwhelmed with what she needed to consider and the pressure she fell under. At times, he found himself in awe of strength.

Their daughter would be the same way, he had no doubt, and as he looked down at her, he could almost see the way she would grow up. Kahlan would give her everything and there could be no one wiser to help her through the choices she would face. He didn't know how she did it, but the Mother Confessor had a special way of seeing things from a perspective away from herself, finding the right answer that no one would have thought to consider. Their daughter, if she was lucky, would have that ability and he beamed with pride at the thought.

Three hours had passed and he still watched them before him. Kahlan seemed to be resting peacefully, matching their daughter, who was snuggled against her mothers breast, where he was sure she could feel her heartbeat. It was comforting, something he had listened to for a brief time after they spent a night in passion. She had held him to her, almost afraid that he would disappear. She had once told him that it made her feel safe and protected, something she had rarely felt. He understood her words at once, but knew better than to hold onto them in fear she would take them back.

Everything she experienced was new to her and it excited him to be there with her, even though he knew, that in her mind, it would only be for a short while. He longed to show her the life he imagined, the one he envisioned for the two of them. She must have thought about it too, and he was sure that she had, leaving him to wonder what she saw in her mind. Could she have imagined a life where they spent the nights in each others arms?

She sucked in a deep breath, jolting his mind from his thoughts and back onto her. "Kahlan?"

"Mmmhm," she replied with barely enough sound to reach him.

Grinning, he pulled gently on her shoulder, bringing her forward just enough to make it clearly known that their daughter laid against her. "You both have been asleep for a little while."

Her eyes opened and instead of rushing to the child, she met his, a smile on her lips. "I'm glad she sleeps," she whispered through a chuckle. "How long?"

"I'm not sure," he told her honestly. "I was lost in thought."

Looking down to Makayla, the new mother beamed, "What were you thinking about?"

"Many things, actually. I couldn't find one to settle on."

Shaking her head, she darted her eyes back to his. "I know the process." He wanted to ask her if it was what kept her from sending for him in the months or weeks before, but he couldn't make the words leave his lips. "I've been in constant thought since the day you sealed the rifts."

"We sealed the rifts," he said at once. "You must have wondered about what she would look-"

"Many times, but that was not the most visited thought."

"How much she'd eat?"

The smile left her lips as he tried to lighten a moment she didn't want to take lightly. "No. I- I kept asking myself if I had done the right thing. If I would do right by you when it was time and I- I waited, wondering if I would receive word that you had found someone and I thought that, maybe then, it would be easier."

"How much she would eat would have been-"

"Easier to think of, I know," she said, completing his sentence. "My mind found you a more interesting subject."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, dropping is eyes to their daughter. "I know how difficult that was for you."

"It was difficult at first, but then, as the time passed, I thought that the more I thought, the more she would know of you. I started to think if you did find someone and Makayla didn't know you, she could know of you in part of the way I did."

"Thank you."

Dropping her eyes, she took in a slow breath and tried to find a subject that would be safe for her to move them to. "How was Hartland?"

He chuckled, bringing her to look at him once more. "You'd have been proud to see it. The people were happy, it was how I remembered it being as a child. No one was afraid and what was left of the D'Haran army had joined the community. Anna made sure to take care of everyone. I was- I only stayed as long as I did because they were rebuilding my father's house."

"You and Anna-"

"It's not Anna I love, Kahlan."

Her expression surprised him. It was the first time those words didn't bring pain to her eyes. "I know." He waited for her to tell him that he would change his mind, the way she always did, but she only smiled. "I may not understand, but I know."

"What?" he asked with a sly grin.

Holding his gaze, she took in a slow breath, tasting the words on the tip of her tongue. "That you love me."

His smile widened as he brought his right hand to her arm with a gentle squeeze. "I don't know how you cannot understand-"

"I'm not like other women, Richard. When people see me, I am not looked upon to be one of those-"

"How do I look at you?" he asked, interrupting her sentence.

She smiled, widely for a moment as she held onto his gaze. He had a plan with his words and she was sure it would be known quickly. "Unlike every man I have ever known."

"Go on."

"I don't know if I can explain it, but it's- I don't know, you look at me as though I am more than I am. Sometimes I think you see something no one else can and I can't help but let my mind wonder on it. You have this intensity that holds and your breathing changes, becomes... deeper, maybe. Sometimes I think I can become lost in the way you look at me. The way you're looking at me, now."

"If those people you saw on the streets knew you, not of you, it would be a different expression you saw in their eyes as well. Kahlan, your magic is no reason for me to fear you." With a small smile of knowing, the Seeker moved his hand over her arm. "If you wanted to frighten me, that wouldn't be the way you would approach it. We all have a darkness inside of us, but ours can be seen differently and yet the one thing we are and have ways been sure of, is that we wouldn't hurt each other."

"It's funny how that works."

"Makayla has a chance to change their minds, though. Kahlan, she can be the one who starts it all, and give Confessors a chance at that life we both want them to have."

Closing her eyes, Kahlan took in a deep breath and allowed it to help her focus on her thoughts. If she looked I to his eyes as she tried to make sense of it all, she would lose. "I'm afraid to hope for such a miracle," she whispered as her eyes opened.

"I know, but that doesn't mean you should give it up."

"No, but it is difficult to hold."

"Everything worth it is."

Closing her eyes, the new mother took a breath, one that revealed the strength it took her to reopen them and meet his. What she would say next would be important, something he knew at once, but didn't fear the words. "There are decisions to be made."

"I know, but it is not me who has to make them. Kahlan, I know how you feel, and that is enough. If you need to keep it a secret, I understand. They don't see it the way we do, but it's not impossible. If Makayla has the Rahl magic within her, questions will be asked, but you already know that. I will stand by your choice."

"I appreciate that, but this is not one I want to make on my own. She is not mine alone, Richard and I will not pretend that she is."

"Kahlan-"

"As much as I long to protect you both from what may happen, it's not my place to do so."

With a grin, he shook his head. "I disagree. You're a mother, it's your place to protect your children."

"Maybe, but I don't want to do it alone."

"Then you won't have to." Holding her gaze, he took in a deep breath, setting the serious tone of the next conversation. "How do you think we should approach this?"

END