This could be considered an OC/Self-Insert, as I am using my own character as the Warrior of Light. I do not RP her in any fashion, but she does have her own personality. Some controversial issues will arise, such as the age difference between an Au Ra woman (WoL) and a teenage Elezen in a romance. Some darker themes may come into play as things progress.
This story is inspired by the fact I absolutely do not like Estinien. I have tried, but his treatment of Alphinaud put me off and I have stayed off. I was not fond of the WoL's apparent nonchalance as well. Defend him, you cretin!
This story is also unedited, and done primarily for my own enjoyment. Thus, there will be errors. If you have questions about why the hell I wrote something the way I did, feel free to message me!
Disclaimer: I do not own FFXIV.
XIV
If Alphinaud could be grateful for anything in the chaos that followed the Sultana's assassination, it would be Aerys' steadfast presence. There were few who could sit so proudly in a chocobo-drawn carriage after the city-state she had saved a hundred times over betray her. As Ul'dah's lights became smaller in the distance, Aerys held her head high, deceptively delicate hands folded primly in her lap.
She had been quick to place one of those hands upon his own when his sorrows threatened to consume him, endless guilt gnawing at his heart as he realized just how much of their predicament could be blamed on him. Commander of the Crystal Braves, he thought, And what a failure at that.
Perhaps she was unperturbed because she had yet to meet a foe she could not fell. What was an entire city-state to the slayer of every primal known to man?
Her shoulder brushed against his as the carriage jostled on the uneven terrain. Occasionally, she would turn her head of silvery hair and examine him. Alphinaud could not bring himself to lift his head nor straighten his shoulders.
But it comforted him to have her there, nonetheless.
XIV
Facing the scrutiny of Ishgard's people had been a bit unnerving. They were a cold, harsh people; as daunting as the country they made their living in. A howling wind blew through the stone corridors, wafting his hair from his face and sending a shiver down his spine. Aerys was ahead of him, her own hair lifting in the breeze. She met the eyes of each of their new neighbors with her own amethyst eyes, unyielding as the earth. When they stopped at the gates that separated each section of the city, the guard had stared down at him with such malice he found himself surprised.
For all their hospitality, Ishgard and its people were downright prickly.
"You have your orders," Aerys' voice rang out in the quiet square. "Open the gate." The guard straightened suddenly, as if his companion had tossed a bucket of icy water down his back. "Yes, my lady."
They made the trip to Fortemps' Manor in silence.
XIV
The first time they met Estinien, it had been in Camp Dragonhead. Enclosed in a tiny council room, the tall dragoon's presence had felt suffocating. Nevermind that Aerys had rather obviously turned her body to shield him, Alphinaud found Estinien unsettling on principle. Arrogance practically dripped from the draconic spikes littering his armor, and being unable to meet his eyes for the dark helm he wore had inspired intimidation.
It seemed Aerys had felt the same. She had stood rather close to him, feet spread shoulder width apart and tail whipping back and forth in agitation. Ser Aymeric had quickly regained control of the situation, dissipating much of the tension in the air, and Estinien had been cordial to his fellow Azure Dragoon...yet, Alphinaud could not relax. It did not escape his notice when Aymeric's eyes narrowed thoughtfully at him.
Forced to spend a night camping with the dragoon several weeks later did not help his opinion of the man. He had tossed countless verbal barbs at the younger Elezen, relentless in his criticism. Ysayle occasionally went to bat on his behalf, but he felt it was more for the excuse to sling her own insults at Estinien than for Alphinaud's sake. Alphinaud's Warrior of Light had yet to stray far from his side, but he could feel the tension mounting in her as well. It had come as a surprise to find Ysayle kinder than their own ally, and neither of them had expected it.
Minfilia had often joked that where Eorzea had gained a Warrior of Light, Alphinaud had gained himself a shadow. He was not so blind as to not have noticed that Aerys did indeed shadow him whenever they were sent into the field together. Her presence still sent his heart to racing when she moved close enough for him to feel the heat from her body, and more than once he had wondered what the scales hugging her curves had felt like.
He had lost a lot of sleep the first night that thought crossed his mind.
For all his genius, however, Alphinaud could think of no logical reason for her protectiveness except that he was smaller than her. Younger. In spite of, or perhaps because of how he felt for his powerful friend, he wished it were not so. His skill in his craft had improved immensely, and he could not deny that it did his heart good to catch her grateful eye when healing her wounds in the heat of battle.
His confidence had been growing exponentially, especially after the disaster with the Crystal Braves had shot it down, and now this dragoon came along and always seemed to hit his weakest points.
"Alphinaud," he turned to face Aerys, who had placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, "walk with me?" Grateful for the opportunity to escape, Alphinaud nodded and stood to follow her into the darkness outside their camp.
"Do not go far," Estinien called, "Many fiends prowl the darkness." Aerys' set her shoulders and called back, "And not one I could not kill."
They said nothing the entire time they walked, but he had not felt so comfortable since this mission had begun.
XIV
The first time she growled at Estinien, he thought the man had snapped his neck he turned to face her so quickly. It was a low, feral sound that he did not think capable of coming from such a beautiful, slender throat. Alphinaud could only blink in wonderment as Ishgard's Azure Dragoon took a stumbling step backward, pale mouth parted in surprise. They had been discussing the situation outside of Ishgard with Ser Aymeric when the older Elezen had delivered a particularly venomous insult in regards to Alphinaud's ability to lead, having learned of the Crystal Braves betrayal just the morning before. Alphinaud could not deny that it had cut deep, despite his attempts to brush off Estinien's comments. The gigantic failure that was his first company still lingered like a dagger in his heart.
Ser Aymeric blinked owlishly, glancing between them. It seemed that not even one so esteemed as he wanted to reprimand the Warrior of Light for ….well...he knew there was some form of offense made here, as she had just threatened one of their own in a very dragonish way…
The sharp curve of Estinien's helmet pointed at Alphinaud before the dragoon left, head held high and fists clenched. Aymeric tentatively began to discuss their next plan of action, choosing to ignore the very personal matters that had just come to light.
XIV
The drums that came from the depths of Ravana's lair followed her back to the Gnath outpost. On and on they played in her head, like a lingering punishment for her deeds. Not even the screaming wind that whipped through her hair was enough to silence them as she flew high above Eorzea on the back of a tamed Griffon. Alphinaud's bright hair glinted in the sunlight as she descended, her Griffon taking off as soon as she had slid heavily to the ground. Aerys approached the trio comprised of Ysayle, Estinien, and Alphinaud. Exhaustion rode heavy on her back, but it had done so for quite some time now. Eorzea had no shortage of foes to be slain, but a devastating shortage of warriors to slay them.
Alphinaud turned to greet her, but it was Estinien that spoke first.
"Never did I doubt you, Warrior of Light... unlike some. You were gone so long that Master Alphinaud here nigh lost his wits with worry. Fretting like a maid for her sweetheart, he was!" Alphinaud went pink immediately, recoiling with shock and embarrassment. "Estinien! Was that truly necessary?" Unfazed, Estinien laughed. "Not truly necessary - but certainly true."
Aerys stepped slowly around Alphinaud, not missing the way his head ducked with shame. Truly, Estinien's constant needling at Alphinaud had begun to wear on her last nerve. He had just regained his confidence after the Crystal Brave's betrayal, and this vengeful dragoon seemed to enjoy tearing him down.
Some may consider Alphinaud's emotional wellbeing a trifling matter in the face of all that had happened recently. Not for her.
"You would do well to watch your tongue. Your lack of respect for one of Ishgard's only allies tests my patience." Estinien's mouth, barely visible beneath the beak of his helm, dropped open a fraction. Alphinaud's head whipped up and she could see the look of shock on his face as well. As Eorzea's Warrior of Light, Aerys was a constant beacon of hope. Never did she refuse to help when the need was great or small, and never did she lash out in anger or irritation. She was the epitome of calm and collected strength. Very few were aware of the thoughts buried deep in her mind.
"Aerys?" Alphinaud asked uncertainly. Ysayle simply nodded her agreement, glaring frostily at the Azure Dragoon. Estinien rallied, crossing his arms and frowning deeply. "I've done nothing but state the truth. You coddle him."
"I have the right," Aerys snapped, faint fury kindling in her draconic eyes. "Alphinaud has been my friend and ally for far longer than you, Ser. We have faced countless trials together, and any harm done to him is harm done to me. Your disrespect ends now, or your time with us on this mission ends."
The drums in her mind skipped tempo, and then began to beat in earnest. Alphinaud gasped lightly behind her, and she felt him step toward her a moment before Estinien stepped forward as well. Alphinaud moved back as if on instinct, distancing himself from the dragoon, and her resentment for the man before her burned hot.
"You would seek to remove me? This is my homeland, woman! I have more right to be here than even you. Nidhogg will die by my hand! He must!"
A flash of light and the slashing of metal through air rang out, and a massive lance was held firmly in Aerys' hand. The tip was pointed down and she had not taken a fighting stance, but the tip was pointed in Estinien's direction. The other dragoon straightened, taking a hasty step backwards. "You are not the only Azure Dragoon to walk in Ishgard. I need only ask and you know Aymeric will grant my request. I do not ask you for much, only that you respect those that fight in the name of your kin and country. Decide, or I will decide for you."
The drums grew louder as Estinien grit his teeth, slashing an arm in frustration. The Elezen recognized her challenge. It was a fight she had the right to initiate for ages now, as there was only meant to be one Azure Dragoon. And the Azure Dragoon was responsible for slaying the dragons that threatened Ishgard.
He need only move an inch in her direction, and she would cut him down. The darkness seemed so close now, so close. He was too close to Alphinaud, too close. And then Estinien turned on his heel and stalked away, shoulders hunched in fury. The air seemed to clear, and the furious voice demanding she run him through for the threat he posed to her companion faded into sweet silence.
The Gnath clicked nervously around them, but did not interfere. Ysayle seemed pleased, uncrossing her arms and smiling widely. "It is about time someone put that man in his place." She too strode away, in the opposite direction of the raging dragoon in the distance.
Which left the nervous Elezen at her back. Unsummoning Gae Bolg, Aerys slowly turned to face him. His head was bowed again, arms hanging listlessly at his sides. "I am sorry. You did not have to do that; not on my account." Grasping his elbow in one hand, Aerys shook her head. "No, I did not have to do that. But I wanted to. You do not know how badly his treatment of you has been bothering me. For Aymeric only, I tried to stay quiet. But I will not do that on anyone else's account, not at your expense. Before all others, you are most important." The tips of his ears turned pink, but Alphinaud finally lifted his head to look at her. He smiled hesitantly, shrugging his shoulders. "Ah, but you are wrong. Before all others, you are most important, Warrior of Light. I would never be able to do what you have done for Eorzea. A little ribbing will not kill me."
Frustrated, Aerys heaved a sigh. Placing both of her hands on his shoulders, she looked him over. He was still a head shorter than her, though he had grown much in the past three years. Likely, he would grow to stand over her before he was fully matured, but for now she looked more like a mother or a big sister than someone that was actually quite close to his age. Au Ra lived for a great many years, thanks to the DNA they share with their draconic ancestors. Elezen lived longer still, but matured slower. Alphinaud was near 18 years old, but appeared a bit younger. Aerys herself was 26, a fully mature female among Au Ra.
The difference was there, however, and it pained her. Her feelings for her younger companion had been her darkest and only secret for the past two years. How shameful it would seem! The Warrior of Light, the God Slayer, woman of unequaled renown...pining for her underaged and undeveloped companion. But she could not make demands of her heart.
"It is not just ribbing, Alphinaud. Perhaps I should rephrase my words. To Eorzea, you are simply a Scion, a Leveilleur with richly lined coffers. To the Scions, you are a friend, a Leveilleur with richly lined coffers and fastly developing skills as an arcanist." Alphinaud raised an eyebrow at her vague summary of his usefulness to their cause, and she smiled a crooked smile. She was only ribbing, as he would say, and he knew it. "But to me, before all others, you are important. Remember that." Her face was now red as well, and even though Alphinaud's eyes rounded with understanding and he opened his mouth to speak, Aerys released him and moved away as quickly as her feet would carry her.
XIV
It was far too hot within Fortemps Manor, in her opinion, but not everyone had dragon fire coursing through their veins. The fire popped loudly as she opened the doors to the sitting room they had been given to conduct their business in. She had just returned from recounting their experiences to Aymeric, and the hard glint in his eyes when he asked after Estinien told her that he was already thinking of solutions to the situation. It was not like him to interfere in personal affairs, but she supposed he felt he owed it to her. Before she had left, he had told her that he would take care of everything, and not to worry. She still worried, of course. She did not want to offend Aymeric, but neither did she wish for Estinien to linger in Alphinaud's presence with that attitude.
Aerys observed that Tataru had finally taken some time to relax, currently playing the house steward in a game of Triple Triad. Judging by the forlorn look on the man's face, Tataru was winning solidly. The only other person in the room was Alphinaud, who was situated by the fire with a hefty tome in his lap. He was halfway through the blasted thing, and Aerys could not help the fond smile that tugged at her lips.
She was quite adept in the scholarly arts and could use a grimoire like no one before her, but she did not have the patience to sit and read through musty old books.
She approached him slowly, counting the number of steps it took before he jerked to attention, face immediately flaming when he caught sight of her. 8. And she was wearing heels too. "That must be a very interesting book you're reading." Clearing his throat and shifting back in his seat, Alphinaud nearly sent the tome in his lap toppling to the floor. He caught it, folding it closed and turning an even darker shade of red. "Ah, yes. It is history; Ishgard's long war with the dragons. I was looking for something that might be of use, but… so far all I have found are various wartime documents and the occasional house rivalry amidst the chaos. Nothing very different from now, actually."
Aerys pulled a chair over beside him, sending a half-hearted glare at the roaring fire. If possible, Alphinaud straightened even more when she drew close. It squeezed at her heart, to think that he was now uncomfortable in her presence. She had run from him when she confessed the enormity of his importance to her. In part, it had been guilt. How could she place the life of one Scion above another? All were her friends, the only family she had in Eorzea. And yet, she knew that while she would die for any of her friends, she would resort to the darkest methods there were to ensure she took anyone or anything threatening Alphinaud down with her. Where she would damn anything else in the world for her friends, she would damn herself for Alphinaud.
Perhaps that kind of devotion was too overwhelming for one so young.
Gods damn my timing.
"I see. Well, you can't expect them to have very much to say during a war that has gone on this long." Alphinaud tilted his head in acknowledgement, seeming to settle just a tad. Aerys had lost count of the nights they had spent just like this, sitting before a fire in Limsa's innrooms or the dim light of a candle in the Waking Sands. Where Alphinaud was her confidante, she was his, and much of their brainstorming happened together. Eventually, they also began to share personal details. Stories of their past, as well as any worries and doubts and fears.
She knew that the other Scions had noticed their closeness, and her possessiveness. Should they be walking the crowded streets of Ul'dah's market, she was the proverbial storm cloud that followed in his wake. If ever there were a time she used her reputation, it was in his defense. She seemed more like a bodyguard than a fellow Scion. She stuck to him like a second skin, and she doubted he had paid it much mind. They were close, and being in close proximity to close friends was nothing to worry about. At least, she figured that would be his reasoning. Minfilia had stopped her after a mission debriefing for one of their usual chats, just months ago. She had explained her worry for them both, aware of how Aerys felt for their young aristocrat. It had been embarrassing to listen to, and she had said very little to her leader and friend. Aerys knew that Minfilia had received no comfort from her stoic responses, but she could do nothing about that now.
Her Au Ra instincts demanded many things of her, and now that she had chosen Alphinaud, she was locked in a constant state of overprotectiveness. Her subconscious acknowledged that her intended was not as able to protect himself yet, and sought to compensate.
"I suppose not. Still, I feel it is better than sitting here in the lap of luxury and doing nothing. I have very little to contribute right now, you know." Her thoughts scattered like dust in the wind as she redirected her attention to Alphinaud. Alphinaud continued, "Our friends are missing, and I cannot find them. We have been branded traitors, and so we are forced into hiding, vastly limiting our resources. Ishgard has its fair share of troubles, but I know precious little of the cultures, customs, and rulings here." Lifting the tome, Alphinaud tossed it lightly onto the table near him. It thumped rather loudly, and Aerys was surprised a decade's worth of dust did not come puffing out.
"I am not a great warrior, although I was proud to fight at your side the few times that I was able." Smiling a subdued smile, Alphinaud finally faced her fully. "I suppose that leaves me only one option for usefulness. So tell me, Warrior of Light, what would you have of me?"
The potential in the question assailed her, and she knew by the shift in his expression that her lavender eyes had dilated dramatically. Quickly turning her head, Aerys shielded her eyes behind a curtain of silvery white hair. Great gods, did he have to phrase it like that?
"I am sorry," he said gently, as if speaking to a frightened animal. "I did not mean to upset you." Oh, he had misjudged her entirely. She had met very few Au Ra in her time in Eorzea, so it was only natural he did not understand. Alphinaud knew her better than anyone in this world, but their dynamic had changed so greatly with so few words. They were both quite uncertain again, as if they had just met.
"No, no please. You did not upset me." Clearing her throat, Aerys swept her hair out of her face and smiled at him. It was a little strained, for desire still coursed through her veins like a raging ocean, but it served to calm him nonetheless. His ears were tipped pink once again as the moment drew on, and despite his age, Aerys knew he had realized some of the answers she must have thought. His hands were clasped tightly in his lap, and he too cleared his throat. Aerys could not think of a single innocent answer to his question, and as the moment drew on, Alphinaud spoke. "I believe I will rest for the night. Call if you have need of me." And then he realized the ever expanding insinuations in his words and nearly sprinted out the door.
XIV
Moghome was not an especially bright place, despite the cheery, glowing moogles that lived there. In fact, the entire region was dreadfully dim. Infested with all kinds of threats, Aerys knew it would take very little for one to get themselves killed here.
And so she took Alphinaud with her when she went to investigate the area surrounding Moghome. It wasn't that she didn't trust Ysayle, Estinien, and the moogles to look after him, it was...
Well. She didn't trust them to look after him.
And so it sent her into outright panic when she turned to see the heavy tail of a Bladed Vinegaroon sling him into a dying tree. The beast went down in very little time in the adrenaline rush that followed. The horrible cracking of the tree as it fell beneath Alphinaud's weight scared her little and less than his answering shout of pain. Her heartbeat was slamming against her ears as she sprinted over to him, loosing a barrage of curses as she actually tripped over the uneven terrain. He was moving, thank the gods, but he was clearly very injured. Scrambling to her feet, Aerys belatedly realized she had been screaming his name.
Alphinaud propped himself up upon the broken tree, cradling his right arm to his chest. Aerys skidded to a halt on her knees beside him, Eos whirling worried circles around their heads. Her fairy had cast several healing spells, but Alphinaud was not healing properly. Patting his body in frantic worry, Aerys caught her breath, "Alphinaud! I don't understand! Why are you not healing?" The young Elezen sucked in a shaky, wet breath, and she was horrified to see blood beginning to stain his clothes near his ribs. "Internal wounds," he gasped, "I believe I have a broken rib and a punctured lung." His voice was terribly quiet and airy, and he was growing paler by the second. Eos continued her frantic attempts at healing, and while Aerys knew she was thereby recovering much of his lost blood, it was a temporary solution.
All of her composure lost, Aerys dropped her bag when she went to fish out an aetheryte crystal. Tears blurred her vision and she furiously blinked them away, snatching her bag from the ground and ripping the seams as she tore it open again. The tiny blue crystal was safely ensconced at the bottom of the bag, looking far too bright for the situation at hand. As soon as she felt its magic, Aerys grabbed Alphinaud's uninjured hand and they vanished in a flash of light.
XIV
There were a great many skilled surgeons working within Ishgard. It had taken very little time for them to be assisted, with a visibly distraught Warrior of Light screaming for help with an unconscious and bleeding Elezen in her arms. It had taken mere moments for Aymeric to appear, several guards at his side, and within five minutes Alphinaud was being taken away in a white stretcher. Aymeric had her by the shoulders, demanding she look at him and attempting to calm her, but she heard absolutely nothing he said. Her eyes were fixated on the broken boy being taken away from her, away! too far away! but her legs would not hold her to follow him.
Her courage had fled, leaving her a terrified and inconsolable woman who felt she had lost her mate. And it was her fault. She knew how powerful the vinegaroons were, she knew how it felt when their jaws snapped bones and their tails threw you across the field. But she was blessed by the Light, she was the Godslayer, the undefeated, the woman of stone. She healed so quickly, was damaged so seldomly. Alphinaud seemed so fragile in comparison. She had not protected him.
As she sat immobilized by shock, the residents of Ishgard gathered to stare. Aymeric lifted her when she began to rock back and forth, cradling her close like a child and took her from their watchful eyes. Many had hands over their mouths, sympathetic and fearful. Others...the others…
Aerys could barely think. It played again and again in her mind, the cracking of the tree, or was it the cracking of bone? She had not been close enough, had not been fast enough. She roused suddenly and began to struggle in Aymeric's arms, needing to find him, needing to be near him, until she realized he was taking her to Alphinaud already. They were in a bright room and medical equipment was scattered everywhere. She couldn't see him past the white curtains and medical personnel were running everywhere, but she quieted. Aymeric sat her gently on a bench and warned her not to interrupt them, but she did not move.
If he died, it would be her fault.
XIV
Tataru came by not long after the surgeons finished and told her they had done what they could, and Alphinaud would recover. The Elezen healers had not spoken to her, fearful looks in their eyes as they walked far around her to leave the room. Likely her display of broken madness had shaken their faith in her. Aerys did not call out to stop them as they went. She could hear his heartbeat from where she sat. They did not have to tell her.
Eos sat on her knees beside Alphinaud's head, the pillow barely depressing under her slight frame. She would occasionally reach out a tiny hand and stroke his forehead, and Aerys was grateful that her familiar was doing what she could not. Tataru pat her hand gently and told her it was not her fault, but when Aerys did not respond she quietly left. Ser Aymeric came to visit, closely examining Alphinaud and reassuring Aerys that he would be fine within a week.
And then Estinien stepped through the door, and she was on her feet. Aerys bared her fangs and snarled at him, tail lashing dangerously. Her fingers curled and her draconic blood drew forth, sharpening her nails into scaly black blades. He would not go near Alphinaud, she wouldn't allow it! She had failed to protect him once, and again and again every time this hateful dragoon had spoken to him with derision. Never again!
She had been prepared to rip out his throat, ally or no, when Estinien held up his hands. "Aerys, please. I did not come here to fight, nor to mock Master Alphinaud. I came to apologize." A clicking sort of hiss slid out between her teeth, and both men in the room were suddenly highly aware of her draconic ancestry. Perhaps it had been because she was so dainty, so willing to help and so useful, but the fact she shared blood with their most hated enemy had barely been spared a thought. It was on the forefront now, however, and they were quite aware of how deadly this dragon was.
"Apologize later, dragoon. When he is conscious and able to refuse you." Estinien heard the hatred in her voice and faltered, hands falling to his sides again. "I must apologize to you as well, my lady." Aerys slowly straightened, falling out of her battle stance, but her fingers were still tipped with black claws. "Aerys…" Aymeric began. She turned abruptly, pacing around Aymeric to stand at Alphinaud's bedside. Concealed from his gaze by the curtains, Estinien heard her reply, "I do not need your apologies, Estinien. I need only for him to survive, so that I may offer mine to him as well."
XIV
The first time he woke, she had been asleep. It had been three days, and the only change had been his color returning to his face. Eos had long since been unsummoned after Aerys had expressed her gratitude profusely, and she was left alone to watch Alphinaud's chest rise and fall. A nurse came in occasionally to change his bandages and check his condition, and so far, all was well. The bones had been set in his broken right arm, and after that it was a simple matter of casting a healing spell to mend it. His internal injuries had also been remedied, and now it was a matter of waiting for his body to recover from the shock. Aerys had drifted off sometime in the afternoon that day, her head against the bedside and his hand resting safely inside her own.
His other hand had come to rest upon her head hours later, and she flinched violently. Her head shot up, and her eyes went wide as she realized he was awake. Surging forward to sit on his bed, Aerys cupped his face in both of her hands. "Alphinaud," she breathed, "you're awake! How do you feel?" He smiled weakly, bringing one hand to rest on hers as he leaned into one of her hands. "I feel a bit under the weather, actually. But considerably better than I thought I would, all things considered."
Tears immediately blurred her vision, and Aerys bent over him to bury her head in his neck. "I am so sorry," she choked out, "I should have been there, I should have protected you. It should have been me that took that blow. Oh Alphinaud, I'm sorry." Alphinaud brought his hands to rest on her hunched shoulders. "Oh come now, all these years on the battlefield and I haven't had a single interesting tale to tell. No brushes with death or anything of that sort." Aerys pulled back to stare at him, eyebrows pinched together. He smiled at her again. "I was wondering when it would happen, you know. I had never imagined something so graceless as being flung into a tree, but alas. In this case, I was glad to take that blow if it meant you did not, my lady." Aerys shook her head furiously. "You know it would have done me far less harm! Great gods, Alphinaud, I thought you were going to die!" He sobered somewhat, then brought up a hand to brush away her tears.
"You blame yourself, then?" The answer was in her eyes, and he sighed. "You can't protect everyone, Aerys. I should have been watching what I was doing." He was surprised to see her tears return, and her expression crumble. For all their years spent in closeness, he had yet to see her this vulnerable. This broken. "I know I cannot protect everyone, Alphinaud," she said, "But if I am able to protect anyone, I would want it to be you."
He knew there was nothing he could say to assuage her guilt. As much as he would like to comfort her and then contemplate the origin of her favor, he simply did not have the energy. Instead, he sighed and brought her close again, pleased with the way she melted against him. Running his fingers over the scales on her neck, Alphinaud closed his eyes. Smooth as silk and hard as diamonds, he thought, running his nails experimentally over her neck again. As expected.
It unsettled him to see her endless bravery shattered into so many pieces, but he recalled the countless hours he had spent in such a state. If he could give her anything, he would be her strength now. "I will be fine with a bit more rest, my lady. You could use the rest as well, I imagine?" She nodded against his neck, and for an insane moment he thought about how childlike she seemed, nuzzling into him for comfort.
The Warrior of Light, clinging to him like a frightened girl. He found it did not lessen his opinion of her in the slightest. She had been terrified for him, he remembered. Her screams still resounded in his mind, and her grip on him had been simultaneously gentle and harsh as she gradually broke down before him. He had known he was likely to live, it wasn't as if his spine had been snapped….but it was clear in an instant she did not know that. Placing a hand on the back of her head in comfort, Alphinaud vowed to never do that to her again.
Well, not if he could help it, anyway.
XIV
The second time he woke, Tataru was there. Aerys was sleeping in a cot she had dragged over beside him, pale fingers curled under her chin. The tiny lalafell had worry in her eyes, but instead of fretting over him she simply updated him on the status of things. They had a fairly normal conversation, avoiding speaking of his accident, and Alphinaud was belatedly grateful for it.
After she had gone, he lay there for some time, studying the Au Ra at his bedside. It was a strange thing, to know that he alone had the ability to break Eorzea's Warrior of Light. They had lost every single Scion of the Seventh Dawn, and yet she had moved steadily forward. Her concern and sadness had been visible in her eyes, but she did not even bend in the face of the struggles that they met henceforth.
Alphinaud sighed heavily. It was rather difficult not to feel like a burden.
Aerys began to stir, her fingers gripping her thin blanket. She lifted herself up, running her other hand over bleary eyes. Her tail, which had wrapped itself around the leg of her cot, slowly uncurled and slithered to lay against her thighs.. She stretched languidly, arms raised over her head and providing him a fantastic view of her supple chest. "Good morning," he said, unable to stop the furious blush that rose to his cheeks. Blinking, Aerys gazed up at him. "Good morning," she responded.
"How are you today?" Aerys asked, clearing her throat and rising to tuck the blankets back in around him. "Better?"
He nodded, scooting towards the headboard to prop himself against his pillows. "Better. I believe I could go for a walk today, actually. It's getting a bit stuffy in here." Amethyst eyes locked onto his form, assessing his ability to do such a thing. After a long moment, she nodded. "I'm going with you, though."
"Of course."
XIV
He found her in the Coerthas Western Highlands a month after his recovery, standing on a high cliff and staring out into the snow covered ravines. Hraesvelgr proved to be unhelpful in their search, and had shattered Ysayle's faith into pieces. Aerys had been very quiet since that day. She didn't avoid him, per say, as his shadow was ever present, but she said very little to him. And really, he had very little to say to her. He did not know what had changed, but something had.
Alphinaud had had enough dancing around the subject, so now that they were alone, he decided to confront her about it.
"You seem very lonely out here." Her head turned slightly to the side, acknowledging his presence. "You could say that." Alphinaud stepped up beside her, glancing up into forlorn eyes that would not meet his own. "Whatever is the matter, my lady? I had thought we put the subject of my injury to rest." Aerys nodded, her sigh manifesting in a white cloud that dissipated in the wind. "It isn't that, Alphinaud."
Turning to stare out at the frozen wasteland before them, Alphinaud waited. He could tell she was gathering her thoughts, or her courage, so he did not prod at her. Truly, he couldn't begin to fathom what had upset her. They hadn't made great progress, and the situation in Ishgard was growing more hectic by the day, but they were fine...all things considered. After a long moment of silence save for the whistling wind, Aerys turned to face him.
"I have been thinking. Ysayle…" She turned her head away, adjusting her cloak more snugly around her shoulders. "She did not really summon Shiva. She summoned her idea of Shiva through sheer willpower and belief. The heretic group believed in her, and gave her the power to become a primal." Alphinaud nodded. "Yes. That is true."
Purple eyes fixated on his own blue, a tiny frown of worry tugging at her lips. "Alphinaud, so much of Eorzea believes in me. I have felt the lingering traces of each primal I have felled find home in me. Their aether lives on, empowering me as Hydaelyn does. Were I to will it, would I become a primal too? Would I become the very thing I strive to destroy?"
The question caught him off guard, as he had been caught off guard when Ysayle's revelation came about. To think that a primal could be summoned without such a vast quantity of crystals was staggering, but beyond the implications it had for their future enemies, he had not considered it. He saw her worries, however. It would not be beyond her abilities to manifest her own primal, and Alphinaud did not doubt it would be the deadliest they had ever crossed swords with.
He had not known that the aether of fallen primals clung to her. All the Scions had noticed that she returned each time with a darker, heavier aura than before, but quickly adjusted. All assumed that it was because she was more powerful for having lived through such ordeals. Could they have been so blind? Or was it their own belief in her that allowed them to ignore it?
"Would you will it, my lady?" He asked, stepping closer to her even as her hair caught in his earring and danced in his face. She brushed it aside, lips pressed into a firm line. As she turned her back to him, bringing her arms up to hug herself around her middle, Alphinaud felt a certain level of dread. He had expected her to say no. To assure him that she would not need such massive power, for she was a god in her own right already.
"If it was necessary to save you, yes. I would submit. I would take that power."
He'd never felt so cold in his life.
XIV
Updates will be sporadic, very sorry doves! As I am doing this for my personal pleasure only, I am sorry again that this will be posted in the form of a drabble-fic. My love for Alphinaud will never end, of course, so I will update when I can! In the meantime, your reviews would be delightful. I can't be alone as the only WoL x Alphinaud shipper….right…?