This piece is the second piece for one prompt. The first one was 'Longing' and a Charloe piece. This story is about Connor seeing his father in a new light, in understanding more how willing his father, Bass, is to fight for him. And maybe, maybe it will chance the rest of the season for a son and a father, and Connor will see his place is with Bass, not only in a deep hunger for a Republic.
For this scene I was inspired by two scenes: Bass giving Connor that gun back to him in Mexico to make sure he stayed out of trouble in that episode. And then there was another scene, with Jason and Tom in season one, where Tom forced Jason to take the gun and shoot him after the episode 'The love boat.' They both have difficult relationships with their fathers, each in their own way. This piece is about Connor getting a new perspective on how much Bass cares for him.
Fathers and guns
Connor looks at the building in front of him. While his eyes do not let go of the structure in front of him he feels rage for that Neville punk drag him into their camp as he did. They have secured Jason in the building on the north side of their current camp after he had surprised him when he was doing a check around camp. A gun against his head later and Jason Neville had used him as his ticket in. His dad told him some things about the Neville's and Monroe and he hates the asshole on sight.
Bass had dragged him away personally with steel in his eyes. With a violent jerk of his arm he had grabbed Jason by his jacket as he had told him to move. Connor had watched his dad while he was dragging him away from him. Passing Charlie who looked at Bass and Jason. Passing Miles who had looked at both men. Bass had shoved Jason onto the ground before he had put ropes around his wrists with fast jerks of his hands and a pissed as hell look in his eyes.
Connor had watched his dad while his eyes had shot thunder to Jason. His dad looking at Jason who was looking at him and Charlie.
'Stay away from him, stay the hell away from her.' Bass had barked. Looking from Jason back to Connor, then to Charlie and back to Jason again. There had been edged roughness in his hands when he had secured the ropes around Jason's hands.
Connor had been pretending his dad's eyes had not lingered on Charlie that long when he had warned Jason to stay away from her.
Charlie had stood outside, with her arms crossed before her chest. Connor already understood that there was history there, he just could not figure out what. The flames of the fires spread through camp playing with the colours of the locks of her hair.
Bass had nodded to Scanlon to get some of his men together to take first watch. Charlie had looked at Bass, following him with her eyes before she had looked at Jason again.
Connor had pretended her eyes did not linger on his dad that long. He does not know what is going on between her and his dad, but there is more than just the hate she claims to feel for his old man reflected in her eyes when she locks eyes with his dad. When Connor had met her eyes she had almost let out a exhausted sigh with a harshness in her eyes.
And now a couple of hours later, when it is close to midnight, Connor is walking back to the building where they kept Jason in for the night, a night before they would leave for Austin. His dad is drinking with Miles near a fire, both men sharing a bottle with ease. Scanlon and his men not far. He feels his blade stripped to his hip with every step. The blade his father skilled him in using it. It is his new reminder of this new life.
His gun in the waistband of his pants instead of the shoulder holsters he would used to carry his weapons around in Mexico. Mexico. Thoughts of how his dad showed up with Miles going through his mind. Feeling so far away. But it had not really been that long.
His eyes fall on Charlie, sitting in front of a fire, cleaning her knives. He had not missed the harsh tone with hurt deep under there when she had asked his dad and Miles if they were serious in using Jason for whatever the hell would be next. Connor registered her protest, standing right behind her.
He had listened to her, he had watched them. Charlie. Jason. Knowing there was history. Feeling the sting of dark jealousy there. He is not together with Charlie, she would not let him even if he wanted to. But he felt some kind of connection with her and the thought of another guy touching her, pissed him of. The thought of another guy hurting her, even more.
He had not missed the looks between her and sixpack. After their night in Vegas, her wild and yet so far away from him, with so much space between them even when she had been so close, they had not been together. He had tried, fuck he did. But she flirted, she teased. Like she flirted and teased with battle and danger. And then she turned around, hairs swinging with those steps in her hips and diving into another fight.
So he looks at her near the fire, lost in her own thoughts and then his attention is only on the building in front of him. He walks through the shadows of the building in front of it. He gives the two men on watch each a short nod. Being Monroe's kid has its perks.
The lights of the fires outside and the moon are falling on Jason's face who looks up the moment he steps inside. Connor moves to Jason, who is sitting against a pole, his hands strapped behind it.
Connor narrows his eyes a bit. Tension in his jaw, his chin a bit lifted. Both men are looking at the other. Waiting. Eyes challenging, shoulders oozing an unspoken threat to the other. And then, in one wave of anger he rams a fist into Jason's face.
Jason spits blood out of his mouth after he feels how Monroe's kid's fist has been making contact with the side of his face. He somehow knew he would be back. He had been counting on it. Getting him and catching him off guard when he was doing a check on the perimeter has been almost too easy. He had to, the guy his only chance to get through the front door without getting shot.
Standing in front of Monroe again. Another Monroe, different from the President and General from Philly. Miles. And then. Her. Charlie. Her eyes stinging right through his chest. Her unwilling to trust him again hurting. But he knows he deserves that, he has lied to her too many times. Charlie deserves more.
With those numbers tattooed in his eye, he does not even trust himself. He does not blame her. He does care for her. He cannot help himself. But things have changed. Changed so much. Monroe had barked at him to stay the hell away from her. Jason had not missed the exchange of looks between Monroe and her.
Miles had barked threat at him for even thinking of going near her. And now, there is another addition to the line of men around her wanting to protect her.
Monroe's kid. He had seen it in his eyes. In his jaw line. In that ego in his shoulders. He is a Monroe. Connor. He has been paying attention. Getting to know his name had not been that difficult.
Connor is standing in front of him. Tall, wide shoulders, dark curls. Eyes dark and filled with threat.
Jason tilts his chin. Looks up and straight at him. His eyes going to Charlie sitting in front a fire, her back still just visible from where he is roped against some pillar in the corner of the room. He waits until Connor can follow his eyes and knows where he was looking at. Wanting to piss him off even more with this cool look. It seemed to piss of Connor even more which brings a smug grin to Jason's mouth. His cheek burning with Connor's blow of his fist.
He takes a deep breath in and spits some more blood from his mouth as he is looking straight at Connor. 'That the best you can do.'
'If I were you, I would show a little respect. Or I will bury you. ' Connor's voice sounds on edge and laced with anger.
'Nah I don't think you will...' Jason challenges him. 'You all need me too much, I do not think your dad will be too happy about that.'
Connor flexes his jaw in such familiar movement that reminds Jason how much Monroe there was in this guy. Years in Philly reporting back to Monroe himself have taught him a thing or two.
Connor realises he cannot kill this asshole, how very much he wanted to. Jason takes a breath, feeling the taste of blood and copper in his mouth. He changes tactics, just to see what Connor will do.
But also because a part of him needs them to show he is on their side, that he is still a human being after all those things they have done to him in that re education camp. He is not just the number those kaki assholes have turned him into. His mind is chaotic when he remembers the camp. Remembers the one friend he had there. Remembering one night when he had sat down with him and he, his name gone now from his memory, had asked him in a shaky voice. When is the last time you slept? Those kaki's had stripped them from everything that made them them. had stripped them from any connection to their family. Trained them. And sleep, they had stripped it from them too in the proces of breaking them and rebuilding them again.
He is done with a father who does not get it, he is done with the betrayal from his father. Done with the hurt, the sting of knowing his dad and himself, they would never be what he had hoped for. Done with his dad not seeing him.
So had walked away from Tom Neville this morning after sunrise. His dad calling to him. Him ignoring that. He needs a place to belong for now, people he can fight with to take his revenge of the Patriots for what they did to him. Miles, Charlie, Monroe and now Connor, they are all that is left for him to fight that fight.
Connor watches how he sees a change in Jason, a chance he does not yet get. He sees it in his shoulders, in his eyes.
'I am sorry man, grabbing you like that...' Jason's voice sounds tired but somehow sincere, grabbing Connor's attention fast, '...but I needed you to walk into the front door.'
Connor huffs. 'Whatever.' He feels some of the rage move out of his jaws. He watches something too familiar in Jason, something lost and hurt and alone. Something he knows so much about himself.
The building around them and the night are silent for a moment. Both men look at the other, knowing how much history lays between them through their dads. Neville and Monroe. Monroe and Neville.
'So, you are Monroe's kid?' Jason looks at him with a calm in his eyes that set Connor on fire with some more rage.
But at the same time his curiosity for talking to someone who knows his dad extinguishes that fire slowly.
'You are Neville's.' Connor spat out, a cool insult, but not that edgy anymore, there in his low raspy voice.
Jason nods to him. Connor looks through the open door. His eyes moving through camp and finding his dad. He is watching how his dad puts a bottle to his lips and says something to Miles, both men deep in discussion.
'So, why is your dad not here?' Connor's voice is still rough as he looks at his father.
'My dad and I...we don't exactly have a great relationship.' Jason says, swallowing the bile of hurt in the back of his throat away. Remembering how he had walked away from his dad this dad. Reminding himself how much he misses his mother.
'Yeah, I know about that.' Connor says darkly, not looking away when Miles and his dad and the bond forged through decades between them. Jealousy stinging him.
Jason lets a breath out, a huff of disbelieve and feeling irritated. It catches Connor's attention.
Jason looks at Connor as Connor's eyes fill with something raw. He has watched the threat in Monroe's eyes when he had told him to let his kid go when he had aimed his gun at him. Seeing the protective rage of a father burning in his eyes. At him. The way Monroe had his gun trimmed at him, his fingers moving restlessly along the trigger. The steel thunder in his eyes when Monroe had grabbed him and moved his ass in here. Moments before telling Charlie when she had asked him if they were serious about using him that they would shoot him if he made one wrong move.
That guy oozed protectiveness for what he cares about with every breath. He had seen it first hand, how deep Monroe was willing to go for family. He had heard the stories, he had known what it did to Monroe when Miles had betrayed him.
So he knows one thing. Connor is one lucky asshole with a dad willing to fight that hard for him.
He narrows his eyes at Connor, feeling pissed at Connor not seeing how much his dad cares.
'Ever felt your dad's fist in your own face?' Jason spits out. 'Ever watched your old man put a gun in your hands, aiming it at himself before he asked you to pull the trigger' Jason asks with a low voice and sharp edges.
His mind takes him back to the Rebel camp in Kentucky. After turning against the madness spree of his father and stop the plan to use a doctor's family against him on that fisher boat with Foster's men, his dad had found him in camp not much later. Shoving his gun into his hands and demanding he would finish the job of betraying him. Charlie had been not standing that far away. Her eyes on them and shame filling Jason's gut. Shame and rage and hurt and disbelieve for the actions of his father.
He did not miss the cold tone in Jason's voice. The disappointment, the hurt, the being alone in a world you should not be alone in. It should not get to him, but Jason's words are crashing in like a bullet.
Connor looks unsure now ,his deep eyes in the nightly dark going softer. Jason's suddenly opening up catching him of guard and reaching deep inside of him.
He remembered meeting his dad that day in Mexico in that bar. The look on his face when Miles had intervened in that bar and had told his dad it was him. Him. And all of a sudden he had a dad. A father. A father who came looking for him His dad eyes had been on him, realisation setting in that he was standing in front of his own blood.
Connor remembers telling his dad to climb back under the rock he came for. But his dad, he had come back for him.
While he sat near a table with the only reminder of his mom in his hand, a picture where he had been only hours born into the world, safely against her chest. He, his dad, had been there. For him. telling him if he had know about them, he would have been with him in a heartbeat.
And then he remembers the cell they had put him in. Nunez plans. Connor remembers it with hurt in his chest for being torn what to do, who to be, what to feel. His dad putting the gun in his hand before he had walked himself back into that cell after he could have escaped. He had stayed. You're the hero kid. Staying behind for him when he could have made a run for it.
His had had come back for him. His father had stayed for him. His dad had been willing to give his life for him.
He watches through the opening of the door again and finds his dad again. This time, his father's eyes find him as well. There is a hint of pride and concern in his father's eyes. Pride. Love. A short nod to Connor when all there is for a second is father and son.
He feels it all and for a second he forgets why he came here for. He forgets the hate and rage he should feel for Jason. But he just feels overwhelmed. Connor sits down near the wall across from Jason. His arms on his knees. His eyes dark and his heart open. Remembering a cage in Vegas and the fence and the coldness pressing in its back. Remembering what his dad was about to do for him. The sacrifice he was willing to make. To keep him alive.
He looks up, seeing something dark and alone in Jason's eyes before he tucks it away again. Feelings a luxury in this harsh world a heart cannot feel too long.
'You serious about helping us?' Connor asks.
'After what these sons of bitches did to me..' Jason feels the rage and powerlessness coming back of his training and what they had done to him in that patriot camp. '...Yes. I am serious. I will fight for payback in every way that I can.'
Jason looks at him. 'And I am willing to fight with you if you guys give me a chance.'
Connor looks at him one more time as the light of the moon catches the metal of the ring on his thumb. A ring with symbols of family he had found on a market a long time ago. Reminding him of a home he once had with his mom in Jasper. Jason looks at him as both men exchange one more look.
Connor gets up after he gives Jason a short nod of accepting a fight they are in together for now. Both Jason and him look outside. To Monroe.
Jason know his dad is out there. But there is no stopping this now. Jason will fight with them now. For himself. For payback. To stop those sons of bitches.
Connor looks at his dad, who turns to look at the building again, checking on him again. Connor realising he is never letting him out of his sight for too long. His dad.
Connor starts to walk outside. Whatever the unexpected similar ground Jason and him have just shared staying in the shadows of the building for now.
Tomorrow, tomorrow at sunrise it will be Connor who will shove his gun into Jason's back head as he would demand of Jason to get up and move his ass to the wagon. Charlie will not be far. Monroe will watch them both from his spot at the front of the wagon. Connor will sit across from Charlie. Charlie will watch at his dad. Then she will look at Jason. And then she will watch him. Connor will watch so much happening in her eyes while Jason gazes at them with a cool posture. Tomorrow.
Tonight, in the shadows of the night Connor walks over to his dad. Feeling a new sense of connection he had not been able to find before. Bass looks at his kid.
Connor is met with a grin from Bass. A pat on his shoulder and a proud look in his eyes as his dad passing him the bottle he had just been sharing with Miles. Miles nods at him while Connor grabs the bottle from his dad. Both their hands touching, both of them having Monroe blood in their veins.
And when he put the bottle to his lips he looks at the raw strength and love that is his dad, his blood. Remembering everything his dad did for him. What could have been different if his dad hadn't. How hard he had fought for him. And still is.
At that point something breaks free through dark loneliness and having to watch how his mom had let him go with Miles walking next through him. It breaks free through the years of living on the street alone and fuelling himself by status and control instead of love and home. Out of all people, Jason Neville had showed him more from his dad. Things his hurt and abandoned heart had not been able to find and see. There is hope , hope he will not end up at Jason, roaming the world out there with his dad not by his side.
There is hope so small Connor can barely feel it now. But it is here. Hope that his dad would be as much a home, as his mom had given him. The picture of him safely in his mom's arms safely inside his pocket.
Maybe one day he will show his dad his most personal memory to a time long gone by. His connection to her. To his mom. Maybe one day he will find the strength to share it with his dad. But not tonight. Tonight they share a bottle. Standing shoulder to shoulder near a fire around midnight. And Connor knows, his dad, he is the one he will fight with. He will try to let him love him as he will try to love him.
He found him in Mexico. He came back for him. he stayed for him. He locks eyes with Bass. And then, Connor puts the bottle against his lips, standing next to his dad. Father and son. Love. Family. And for the first time, Connor feels more than the hunger and a promise for a Republic. He feels included. He feels what matters. Family over control. Connor feels the pride and love of a father. He feels what it is like to be a son.
And he knows and feels what it is like to count on somebody. To know for sure you can. Having a father. Here. With him.
His father who will fight for him, who will come back for him, who will stay for him.
Author's note The prompt for this piece is 242 'when is the last time you slept. The other prompt for this story is "Longing", a Charloe piece. The theme in this one shot was fathers. A conversation that shows Connor how hard Bass is willing to fight for his son, how much love is there. One conversation that brings new insight. And hope. Changing the story from here on, a story maybe of Connor who will stay with Bass, to fight this world and get through the days together. As father and son, as family. For Bass, for Connor.
There is a shared sad darkness somehow in both Jason's and Connor's stories. The good thing about a story is that if can flow anywhere. So maybe this time, Jason does survive and finds some place to live and maybe one day finds family again. And maybe, Connor will see in time, that his place with his dad is worth more than any Republic out there. It is my wish for both their characters. And giving both Bass and Connor a chance to be family. Something they both crave for I think. 'Thanks for reading everyone! Love form Love