Chapter 1

This is bad. This is really bad. I couldn't help it, to be honest. I wince, then smile, enjoying the pain. I giggle. Uncontrollably, might I add? Slowly shutting my tired eyes, I let the stained blade slip from my bloodied hand to the floor. The deep, rich liquid contrasts with the delicate baby-blue hue of the tiled flooring as it spills from my trembling arms.

I drop down to my weak knees and collapse to the side, facing the door. The vicious, red, familiar substance gushes out from both of my forearms. I watch in pleasure as it pools in large areas, a smirk on my face. A loud, violent banging echoes throughout my clouded mind; someone obviously wants into the bathroom. My eyes dart to the locked, wooden door, but I make no gesture to open it.

"Lanes? Laney, open this door!" An image of pure concern slowly melts across my placid expression. No one calls me Lanes besides… Corey. "Laney!" He sounds panicked. "I'm going to bust down this door, okay…? Lanes?!" My voice too hoarse to respond. The last thing I remember seeing is the blue-haired boy hurl himself through the door, and embrace my crumpled body. My blood and his tears swam together as he quickly, yet gingerly, lifted me up from the tile floor, and ran for help.

I lock my eyes with his one last time, before sliding into a deep, unconscious state, and drown in my own thoughts. I try to clear my mind and focus on the pain, along with the rhythmic swaying of Corey's arms wrapped around my slack figure as he ran towards- well, wherever help was. Darkness consumes my every being, and I relax, waiting for death to come. But it doesn't. So I explore the vast, empty rooms of my lonely mind, and I wait there until it is time to wake up.

"Lanes…" The whisper reaches me through my unconsciousness, sending electricity through my veins. Metaphorically speaking, of course. I jolt awake to find myself in a hospital bed. I am surrounded by people. I blink a few times, not used to the bright light of reality. Kin, Kon, my mom and dad, an unfamiliar nurse, and… Corey Riffin. I meet his eyes for only a few seconds, before I am practically tackled by his warm essence. I grunt in pain as I remember why I've always hated playing football in gym class.

Corey begrudgingly pulls himself away, not wanting to hurt me. My weak eyes well up at the sight of his. They were showing so much emotion; sadness, happiness, guiltiness, and the list goes on. I had hurt him, and I couldn't help but feel that broken his ever cheerful spirit.

"Hey," he whispers, smiling. "Hi, Core." I smile back, tears streaming down my face. I embrace him with all of the strength I have. He returns with the same level of emotion, and I nestle my face into his neck. He doesn't seem to mind. It isn't long before our tender moment is interrupted, by the others holding on to me as well. Even the nurse hugs me. Why? I have no clue.

After a while, everything calms down and people start visiting me. Even Lenny, my best friend from the Newmans band, comes to see me. Everyone tends to treat me as if the dead has risen, everyone besides Corey. The only people currently in the room are my parents and Core. I wonder if I had been… absent for a while.

I beckon my mom and dad over, to sort things out. "Corey saved your life," my mom says, thankfully gesturing to Core, who was lounging in a chair at the corner closest to the hospital bed I was stationed in. "If he hadn't reached you when he did you would be… gone." Damn. So close. Why won't they just let me die?

"How long was I out?" I ask. "Three weeks." Dad says. "We were starting to lose hope, but Corey promised us that you would wake up, eventually." My mother nods in agreement. "He came and stayed with you every night, so that if and when you woke up, he would be the first person you'd see." I rolled my head over my left shoulder to look at Corey. He's so sweet… but why now after all these years?

"You didn't have to do that…" I said to him, but he just shrugged it off. "I care about you, Lanes, and I wanted to spend every second making sure that you were okay. I don't know what I would've done if I had lost my favorite bass player and best friend." Again, why now Corey? "We'll leave you two alone to talk things through," my dad offered. I nodded, wearing a plastic smile.

As soon as they shut the hospital room door, Core practically jumps up out of his chair and is instantly at my side. I scoot over so that he could join me in the bed. Before I know it, we collide together in the sweetest hug ever. With his arms still around me, Corey talks into me, not wanting to ever let go. "Lanes, why?" he asks, showing pain through his muffled voice, "Why would you want to… kill yourself?" I let hot tears spill from my eyes. "Corey, you couldn't understand… I'm not worth shit…"

Corey abruptly peels himself off of me, his tone accusing. "Laney, why the hell would you even think that?! You mean the world to me…" he says, the last part barely audible. I had never seen Corey so upset, so broken down. I had hurt him more than I could ever imagine. I pull him back into me, clenching his shirt. His arms are welcoming, as they snake back around my fragile torso. And for the first time in a long time, I am happy.