Disclaimer: The show "Victorious" and its characters are the property of Schnieder's Bakery and Nickelodeon. This story is for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is wanted or expected for this story.

This is my first fanfic. At first, I wasn't even planning to write this story. I was originally working on two other stories, one of them is a "what if" spin-off of 'The Real Me' by Quitting Time and the other is an original Victorious fanfic set in the Pirates of the Caribbean world. But then I had the small creativity crisis and decided to follow the advice of the great Sherlock Holmes 'A change of work is the best rest.' The result of that work is this story. Enjoy, and stay tuned for future stories.

Here I am. Once again. Feeling lost. The irony of my thoughts doesn't escape me as I walk between hundreds of gravestones of Calvary Cemetery in LA. You know, when I thought about where I would like the two of us to lie in our eternal sleep, I hoped it would be Hollywood Forever Cemetery, because I'm sure you would like to be in the company of so many people from the entertainment industry. But your family, being mostly Catholic, wanted you to be buried here. I didn't object, because they are your family, and I was your girlfriend for only eight months. But those eight months meant to me more than an eternity spent with someone else.

The day is cloudy. The meteorologists say it would rain. I don't mind. I have lost the sun of my life, the only thing in this world that made me trully happy, and I have no need for the sun in the sky anymore.

I come here every Sunday to light the candles and bring fresh flowers. Most people would say that life goes on, that time heals all wounds. But not for me, not for Jade West. My heart and my mind are still stuck one year in the past, in that terrible moment when I heard the news about the accident. The day when I fainted for the first time in my life, right in the middle of the Asphalt Café.

I woke up in the hospital a few hours later. Beck was sitting near my bed, but his face was covered in tears, and he could only confirm that what we heard was true. That I have lost the love of my life. The next three days were stressful to say the least, I cried for hours, the doctors could do nothing to calm me, I was violent toward all of them, I think I even broke some guy's arm when he tried to restrain me. Luckily, the hospital didn't press charges against me, because they understood what I was going through. Only when Cat came to visit me and hugged me, we cried together and for the first time in days I didn't think about breaking anything.

I was discharged from the hospital just a few hours before the funeral. I barely had enough time to go home and dress myself in the darkest clothes I have. Black boots, black skirt, black shirt, black longcoat, black sunglasses on my eyes, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, black, everything black. I didn't bother putting any extensions in my hair, and even if I did, that would also be in black.

That day, the cemetery was full of people. All the students of Hollywood Arts were there, all the teachers, dozens of cops, your father's family, your mother's family, even some students of Sherwood High and Northridge High. And finally, after many years, my parents were where I needed them. Together. With me.

I didn't pay any attention to the priest and his speech. My mind could be focused on only one thing - your casket. As the casket was slowly lowered into the ground, tears flowed from my eyes like a river and I silently thanked God for my parents because if they weren't holding me, I would probably jump on the casket to let myself be buried with you. After the service, our friends tried to console me, but it was useless. Neither Cat, nor Beck, nor Andre, nor Robbie could do anything (thank God that Robbie left Rex at home that day or I would have probably break his neck). My heart was broken into a million pieces and there was nothing in the universe that could repair it.

That was almost exactly one year ago. The aniversary of the accident is tomorrow, on Monday, but I can't force myself to wait even one more day. And now here I am to do what I have to do. As I approach the right row of gravestones, I can finally see my destination. The four graves that I have to, that I need to visit every week. A few more steps and I'm standing before them, reading the names and the dates on the stones.

David Vega October 20, 1967 - June 10, 2012

Holly Vega January 14, 1970 - June 10, 2012

Katrina Vega May 2, 1993 - June 10, 2012

Victoria Vega June 8, 1994 - June 10, 2012

I can't help myself. I start crying. I do that every time I come here. The pain is too great. But this time, before I can turn into a sobbing mess, I stop myself. I need to be strong. For you, my love.

"Hello, Tori," I say. No one can hear me. The cemetery is empty. I like it that way.

People say that God gives and God takes. I don't understand what you did to deserve being taken from this world. You were the most kind and most wonderful person I ever knew. A friend to everyone.

I put one black rose (naturally black, I order them online from the village of Halfeti, Turkey) on your sister's grave, one on your mother's grave, and one on your father's grave. The rest of the roses in the basket goes on your grave, my love. I pray silently for a few minutes, make the sign of the cross, and then I speak.

"Why are you dead? Why are you dead, Tori? I can't live without you, you know that." There is no anwer to my question, only the wind blows through the branches of the trees nearby as tears flow from my eyes again.

"I love you so much, Tori. You can't even imagine how much. You changed me. You made me like things that I always considered disgusting. The birthday parties, ice cream, the pink color, Christmas. I didn't like girls who go to the beach with tiny bikinis, but I liked seeing you in a tiny bikini."

I feel a slight blush appearing on my cheeks. I sigh and continue.

"Just two nights before... before the accident... was your 18th... 18th birthday. You made me like happiness and I made you happy. In return you made me happy too. We had so much fun at Nozu and the Gorilla Club that night. And when the party was over, you insisted on spending the night at my house. Only an hour later it became clear to me why. That night, you gave me your virginity. 'Make me a woman, Jade', you said. So I complied. The next morning you told me that night was the most special night of your life. God, I was so happy when I heard that because it was also the most special night of my life."

I sniff and look around me, but there is no one here. I'm still alone.

"And the next day, you and Trina and your parents were going to visit some cousins. The cops told us the brakes in the car behind yours were worn and old, and the driver... the bastard was driving 80 mph, and he couldn't stop the car, and his car crashed right into your car... pushing it... right into the fence... which was broken... and over the cliff... into the sea."

I can't continue, I have to stop, I have to take a break because I can barely breathe at this point. I fall on my knees and try to calm myself. Inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale. Two minutes later I feel composed enough to continue.

"Your car was found smashed and burned on the rocks by the sea. The bodies of you... and your family... burned beyond recognition." My voice trembles as I say that.

"They had to identify each of you by your dental records. And you know what the best part was? The bastard who killed you got away. He told the judge that he bought the car three days earlier from some shady used car seller and the judge believed him. The cops never found the seller."

I have to make a small pause before I explode in fury.

"The bastard is free, Tori! Your killer is free and I can't do anything about it!" I yell. My hands grab the grass on Tori's grave.

"I can't even avenge you, Tori. Since that day, my life has been hell. Six months ago I started cutting my wrists with scissors from The Scissoring. Even that movie means nothing to me anymore. Without you, everything is grey, every day is dark. The nights have lost their mysteriousness, the stars have lost their glitter. Our friends tried to comfort me, even Sikowitz and Lane tried, even my parents tried, but it's not enough. It will never be enough."

Another deep sigh.

"I'm hollow, Tori. Without you I'm just an empty shell. There is no joy in my life anymore. I don't watch movies, I don't hang out with our friends, I don't listen any music. A month ago was the premiere of The Scisssoring 2: The Next Chapter, here in LA. I didn't watch it, Tori. I couldn't watch it without you."

As I cry, I look at Tori's framed photo on the stone, her face smiling at me. The rain starts, the small drops of water slowly falling on my hair and face. I don't care.

"The only small joy I have is watching the video of your first performance at Hollywood Arts, when you replaced Trina in The Big Showcase. That song, Make It Shine, and your voice, are probably the only things that kept me at least partially sane for the last few months. I watch that video at least twenty times a day. I even took the door of your locker from Hollywood Arts. Our principal, Hellen, couldn't decide what to do with the door so I spared her the trouble of figuring that out. The door is now hanging on the wall of my room."

Another sniff.

"And you know what's the most tragic thing, Tori? When you and your familly departed that day, I went to the jewelry shop. The morning after your birthday, when I woke up with you in my arms, I knew I wanted you to oficially be a part of my life. So I went to the jewelry shop and bought an engagement ring for you. A beautifull silver ring with a one carat diamond. For someone with no income, it would cost an arm, a leg, and the firstborn baby. But for me it was easy to buy it, because just three weeks earlier, and I haven't told anyone about that, I won 4,000,000 dollars in the lottery. I wanted to spoil you, my love, I wanted you to be my princess on the pea, I wanted us to spend the rest of our lives loving each other. I can buy everything, Tori, but I can't have the only thing in this goddamn world that I want. I can't have you, Tori. I'm tired of being alone. Without you, my life has no meaning. So I'm here to end it."

Slowly, I stand up and reach into the right pocket of my black coat. I pull out a Glock 17 pistol, the first firearm I saw being used by Agent Phil Coulson in Iron Man. I love that movie, but I haven't watched it for more than a year. This gun is the first thing I bought when I won the lottery. I may be obsessed with scissors but I also like some guns.

I press in on the magazine clip to release the magazine. The magazine is full, all 17 rounds are inside, but I'll really need only one round. I slide the magazine back into the grip and rack the slide to load the first round from the magazine into the chamber. As I cry, I put the muzzle of the gun on my right temple.

"Be happy, my love. I'll see you soon. In Heaven or Hell or Purgatory, I don't care where. I just want to be with you again."

I put the finger on the trigger.

I know I'm evil for ending this chapter here but what can I say. I love cliffhangers.

Notes:

The Princess on the Pea, also known as The Princess and the Pea, is a story by Hans Christian Andersen.

It would be impossible for Jade to win the lottery in California and remain anonymous. California compels lottery winners to be publicly identified if they want to collect their cash. Only six federal states of the USA — Delaware, Kansas, Maryland, North Dakota, Ohio and South Carolina — allow winners to remain anonymous.

It would be impossible for Jade to possess a handgun because California prohibits any person, corporation or firm from selling a handgun to anyone under the age of 21. I had to take a certain liberty with that fact or there would be no story.

Phil Coulson is one of the central characters of the Marvel Cinematic Universe franchise. Played by Clark Gregg, Coulson first appeared in Iron Man in 2008.