hmm i just barely got a laptop and i'm now going to use it to update more frequently, because of my laptop that means i get a computer to myself obviously! so! here we go!
You meet her on a subway. Her lips a light shade of pink and she's smiling at you, her hands folded out in front of her as she introduces herself. She's Maya, you do know that much. She speaks a little too much and the glint in her eye is a little too mischievous for you but you smile and nod.
You don't remember much that happened in the seven seconds she talked to you, all that you seemed to remember was that you entered a relationship and it was immediately broken off. She sits down next to for you a moment, her smile wide and her schemes obvious. And all she does is talk, and you listen. And then she gets up, walks away, and the next thing you know is that there is a pretty brunette sitting in your lap.
Her smile is soft and sweet.
And you think you like her.
/
The girl named Maya likes to make fun of you. You don't mind much, she seems to enjoy herself—but you won't let her win. It's a game to her, and it's certainly a game to you. And it keeps you on your toes, and most certainly hers.
And it's fun.
She points her pale finger at you and you shake it slightly, smiling, tipping your imaginary hat. Her eyes are filled with annoyance and she shakes her head as you walk away with her best friend—the girl you like, you most certainly like. And you know that there's a smile on her face threatening to explode.
You walk past a flower shop and you know that the blonde beauty will be at the dance and you ask yourself, oh you ask yourself, what will be the best way to annoy her? And you see that rose screaming her name. So when you're dancing with the girl you like, you think of her and give her the rose.
She rolls her eyes.
/
Her head are in her hands and she's grimacing in embarrassment as her mother introduces herself and she's immediately well known. She's Maya Hart who has the crazy mother who think she's an actress and she sighs.
You feel bad.
So when your best friend Farkle has no absolute filter and he doesn't understand a word he's saying, you see her face and you grab Farkle to stop him. And you feel bad, you know that you feel bad. But there's nothing you can do.
/
She calls you Bucky McBoingBoing and you can't help but smile as she sings a song she dedicated to you.
/
She's at your house and she's sticking her finger in the piles of muffin batter and you're swatting her hand away because germs and gross, stop it Maya! She doesn't listen to you, she never listens to you. Her ass is on the kitchen counter and her feet are swaying and she's singing something, you just don't know what.
She bonds with your mother. They laugh in unison as she flips through those old baby albums of yours and you can feel a slight blush creeping up on your cheeks, because you most definitely didn't want her to be seeing that.
They throw a muffin at her head, and you laugh.
She fires you and she smiles and you smile back. Her face is close to yours and she's repeating something you have never said before but she smiles and you laugh and shake your head as she walks away, following the girl you like. (The girl you know you like, the girl you think you like.)
/
You call your best friend from Texas and you tell him about her. She's the girl with the mischievous smile and the harmonious laugh. She's the girl who accepts you for who you are, and she's the girl with the broken home and the broken heart.
You call her the blonde beauty.
But you musn't forget about the girl you like. She's the pretty brunette.
/
You go up to her and tell her that you'll be taking over. She frowns and her eyebrows furrow and she asks you, what? You tell her you're taking her out. She says you're not her type.
And you roll your eyes, but you have to think? Will you ever be her type? But you tell her that you're taking her out of the game and she whines and rolls her eyes but she gives you the ball and stomps away from you and you shake your head but you throw the ball.
Your mind isn't taken off of her for one second as you tell your best friend to go visit their house to scare the girls. He agrees and he's confused as you know the streets of her neighborhood like the back of your hand but you don't need to explain.
You smile at her as she opens the window and you look over to the girl you like and she's absolutely terrified. But you laugh as the the girl you like's best friend scolds you and tells you to stop scaring her friend like that. You don't care much that you're in trouble with her.
/
You two check the library in search of your best friend. She looks everywhere, frantically for the small boy infamous for his turtlenecks. She checks under the counters and the librarian yells at her for being so loud.
You've learned from past experience that violence isn't the answer, so when she threatens to hurt your best friend's bully, you pick her up softly and you can feel her flinch, but she attempts to keep going. You set her down and she rolls her eyes, a smile threatening to expose on her features. "Am I there yet?" she asks sarcastically.
She hops on your back and soothes you as she tells you what you told her. Violence isn't the answer and she holds her arms around you tightly and her legs are wrapped around your torso. You know she's just as mad as you about the whole Billy predicament but she holds onto your body tightly, never wanting to let go. You know you accidentally put the fear of God in her best friend, but the blonde was unfazed. And you should like Riley, you know you should.
But something doesn't click.
You go up to talk to your teacher and you look back at the girl with the word broken scrawled across her forehead and your heart leaps and you smile, and so does she.
/
Your stomach churns as she fawns over the girl you like's uncle. You shouldn't be feeling this way, but you do as her body is attached to his. She twirls her finger and says they're married, taking him away from the girl you like's brother.
You sit next to her and she talks and you look at her with a smile, which is immediately erased as her attention is back towards the high school student. It isn't right, you think. She's thirteen and he's seventeen or sixteen; you don't really seem to know. But you don't say anything, it isn't your business, not really.
"I just want to go home," you say over and over again.
It's true, but the girl with the soft smile and the brunette hair beckons you to say. But something isn't right with the way her blonde best friend looks at the girl you like's uncle like he's a piece of meat and she hasn't eaten in days.
But you stay for her, the girl you like. (At least you think so.)
/
You take the girl you like on a date, your very first and most important date, at least you think so. And the girl you like has a smile on her face that you can't seem to get rid of.
Her best friend tags along with your best friend, Farkle. It's a double date and you feel as if something is going to wrong, not that anything is right. She shouldn't be going with Farkle, you think. But it isn't any of your business.
Your heart aches for her as her heart gets broken right in front of your eyes. She walks up to the uncle she had previously been obsessed with, and she talks with him. She's crying inside and you grimace.
But it isn't any of your business. So you let the girl you like grab your face and kiss you.
/
You don't see her for the whole summer and she starts talking to you like you hadn't ever been separated. She jokes with you and blows a kiss towards you. She's a lot more intimate than she was during the seventh grade. Her smile is wider and her jokes are bigger.
And she's mischievous, she's got something planned as she exposes you to the girl you like's father. Yes, you did kiss her, but you don't think much of it. You think more of the kiss she blows aimed towards you and the look she gets as Farkle proposes to her.
And you're familiar with this feeling, the feeling you get whenever she's around Josh. And you're jealous.
But you like her best friend, don't you?
/
She doesn't treat you any different as your old friend from Texas exposes your secrets to the world. She calls you Huckleberry and you call yourself Ranger Rick. She calms your nerves with jokes and she smiles when you're frowning.
And, you think, at least we haven't changed.
I finally like you, she says.
But the girl you like is mad at you. Shouldn't you fix that? You don't know anymore.
/
She points a threatening finger at you and you can't help but feel that the whole Riley and Maya predicament is your fault. She refuses to sit by you and the girl you think you like. She threatens Zay and you take her hand, putting it up against your chest.
Your heartbeat speeds up as you calm her, and she shakes her head and grumbles, pulling her hand away from your shirt. She goes back to her seat and she refuses to put her elbow on your desk, like she's done oh so many times before.
And when the girl you think you like's other uncle comes to town to fix her and her best friend's relationship, the girl you aren't supposed to like talks to you with a smile on her face. She calls you all of your familiar nicknames and you sigh as things go back to normal. Eric asks why she does that.
Because he lets me.
Well, why do you let her? You don't seem to know.
/
She's the reason you're in detention and you have to choose between the girl you think you like and the girl you're not supposed to like. And you choose her as you run out into the halls, following her.
She has crazy rules and she slathers paint on everyone's faces. She asks for your help and you oblige, grabbing the paint and slowly, but surely, swiping the paint down her nose and lips. Her breath hitches and she looks up at you with a surprised look and you smile. She shakes her head and ignores you. You don't talk about it.
She grabs your shirt and pulls you close to her, her breath lingering over your lips. Her voice is sweet and sick, menacing and tasty. She smells like vanilla and her lips like strawberry. And you're an inch, only an inch away from kissing her.
But you like her best friend, so you refrain from doing so and you talk to her, your voice soft and sarcastic and she rolls her eyes as you ask her to call you Mad Dog.
The girl you think you like is sweet and nice and soft and wonderful. She's certainly wonderful, but you feel as if something doesn't click when she wipes your face clean and you feel as if something had just been taken away from you.
And you frown as the girl you accidentally like is sent for an extra amount of detention. She sighs. You sigh.
/
You sit next to her as the debate goes on and the girl you think you like's infamous uncle is running for senator. You argue and fight with people as you express your opinion.
She reassures you. And she calls you by your name. You're surprised but she reassures that she likes you very much. (At least that's what you heard.)
/
She jokes and she comes close to your face once more. She laughs to herself and you smile.
You flip through the yearbook curiously as the girl who sits behind you says that you two were voted as favorite couple. She looks at him in disbelief, as if it were his fault. She looks back at her best friend who is screaming internally and you don't know what to do, because you don't want to hurt the girl you're supposed to like's feelings and if you do, you hurt the girl you aren't supposed to like's feelings.
The girl you're supposed to like is filled with anger and she changes her persona and the girl you aren't supposed to like attempts to change her back. She changes herself along the way, too. And you're not really that mad about the girl you're supposed to like changing, but your stomach is filled with some type of thing you're not used to when the girl you aren't supposed to like changes herself to fit the needs of her classmates.
You want to scream at her. I love you for who you are, isn't that enough?
But it isn't. Because she's got Riley, and so do you, at least you think so.
She tells you something that her best friend doesn't seem to understand. And he knows what she means when she realizes that their relationship can only go as far as platonic. And he's happy, shouldn't he be?
/
She dances with you. You're supposed to be jealous over the girl you used to like, the girl who grabbed your face and kissed you, but you aren't really. You let her be with the guy who really likes her and you dance with the girl you do like. The girl you aren't supposed to like and you're certainly in denial.
She makes fun of you and she pops up and down like popcorn and you laugh.
You laugh.
/
You see her face as she gets told that her art class, the one thing she thinks she's good at (yet, she's oblivious to the many other things she's amazing at), is being taken away from her. Her heart hurts and her head is screaming but she sits back down in her seat and sighs.
You tell her you want her to be happy, because you do. You tell her that her art matters, you tell her that she's a great artist. Because those are the things that she needs to be hearing, not necessarily from you, but the things she needs to be reassured about. So you tell her you want her to be happy.
Because you do, you so do.
The girl you used to like has a confused expression and Maya doesn't know how to respond and Zay is cracking up in the back. Who knows what Farkle's doing, but all of your attention is aimed towards her and she's not smiling and she has no expression and for once, she's not making fun of you.
Your loud mouth of a friend exposes what you said about her when he hadn't moved. She's the blonde beauty. And she's just as confused as he is, and certainly more than her best friend.
So you listen to her sing and you call her Miss Hart and you push down the feelings you aren't supposed to have.
Because you're supposed to like her best friend, right?
/
You grab her waist to stop her from hurting your friend. Her body stiffens up against your touch and you grab her shoulders, directing her back to her seat. And she doesn't respond for a moment, but you know she felt something just as you did. Because her head whips around and she looks at you confused, only for a moment, and she turns back around.
You're almost kind of happy that the girl you accidentally like and your best friend don't feel a connection as they slap hands together. Because you know she felt something, and so did you when you touched her.
But you keep quiet and continue to beckon that you like the girl you used to like. The girl you don't like, you don't but you do.
You confuse yourself.
/
You take her and her best friend, along with your best friend, to Texas. You teach her to ride a horse and she falls and almost hurts herself. You freak out but she reassures that you need to stop worrying.
You sit around a campfire with her, the girl you used to like up and left with your old best friend and your new best friend. It's just you two and she asks you something.
What was the big bad thing you did, Lucas?
And you tell her.
And she doesn't think of you any different.
/
You sort of break up with the girl you used to be sort of dating and you can tell the girl you used to like is about to cry. You never intended to make her cry, but you know you can't commit to a girl who isn't genuine with you. Who you aren't genuine with.
The girl you accidentally like looks at you as if you've just killed a lamb, and perhaps you have. You wish to tell her the reason why you broke it off with the girl you used to like, but you can't. Because she'll run.
So you keep quiet to yourself.
/
She doesn't talk to you for a month. You don't like it, not one bit. And so when she starts to respond to you when you ask her something or look at you with her familiar smile, you heart speeds up and you're happy.
Things may not be the same, not ever, but you're happy.
Because she gets why you broke up with her best friend, she does. She just doesn't want to believe it. And neither do you, not really.
/
You rub her shoulder as the subject of her father is brought up in class. She's shaking and on the verge of crying, but she saves that for the night when you crawl through her window. She doesn't want you there, she says.
But you know the truth. You'll always know the truth.
So you come up to her and throw your arm around her shoulders and she's crying, and she doesn't know why. But you let her cry as mascara stains run down your shirt and she's blubbering, she's not making sense.
And you hold her.
And she thanks you.
/
She falls asleep on your shoulder and you have no utter idea what to do. Her head is lying there and if it keeps like that, she'll most certainly get a crane in her neck. So you lift her chin up softly and her head just falls back onto there.
You were supposed to be doing a science project, but you're distracted, and you're not sure if it's with the right thing. The girl you used to like reassures that you only need some space to figure things out and then, in the end, everything will work out. (What you know she's saying, though, is that you'll end up together. You're not so sure you want to be with her anymore, especially how you're distracted with the blonde waves of her best friend.)
But you already know how you feel, no matter how much you wish you didn't.
And her best friend knows too. And her best friend knows. Neither of them want to know.
And neither do you, but you can't help it. You just can't help it, and both of the best friends like you back in the way you like them, and one of the best friends likes you in the way you don't like them. But you can't seem to admit it. You can't seem.
You don't know what to do.
/
She fawns over the familiar and infamous uncle all night during New Years. And you shouldn't be feeling jealous, you know that much. But the way she's looking at him and the way he's holding her has your stomach going up in flames.
You shouldn't be feeling this way. No, you shouldn't. But you do.
So that's why you give her the New Years kiss she had been saving for the uncle. She's mad, don't you know it. But you can see with the small smile laced on her lips that everything was going to work out in the end. You know she feels the same way as you.
And you're happy.
/
You hold her hand tightly as you, out of all people, give your middle school valedictorian speech. She looks at you with a bright smile and you know that there's something there, you just don't know what, but you know that there's something there.
And she hugs you. And you hold her. And you feel as if everything is right in the world.
And she's the girl you love.
i could do this in maya's pov if i wanted to. i guess i could. i am. enjoy this was really bad!
this was real confusing lmao sorry so imma clear a few things up.
nicknames given to riley by lucas: the girl you like, the girl you know you like, the girl you used to like, the girl you don't like, the girl you used to be sort of dating
nicknames given to maya by lucas: the girl you aren't supposed to like, the girl you accidentally like, the girl you do like, the girl you love
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