Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Life Is But A Dream

"Nĭ hăo, Harry" the words echoed through Harry's head as he looked at somebody who should not exist.

"How… What?" he blinked.

"You've lost your gift for the tongue" Sue Li chuckled as she stepped towards him. "Harry, this might come as a shock to you, but there is something you need to know and I need you to be calm about it" she finished as she sat in the nearest armchair to himself.

"My dead lover returns from the dead and she asks me to be calm?"

"That… That is what I need to talk about. Harry, I don't know how to tell you this but…" Sue hesitated for a moment, "None of this is real"

"Of course this is real! How can any of this not be real?" Harry exploded in anger. He tried to get in touch with the wards protecting the place, but found none of them would respond.

"Harry, for the last six months you have been in a magical coma after rescuing me from Purebloods who were going to eat me alive. We've tried everything to get you to come round, but it is only through the help of Luna and some others that I can speak to you. I hate to tell you this, but this is all a dream made of random thoughts and images"

"But it can't be" Harry protested, "I have a job, friends… I married Nyssa"

"I know you think you did" said Sue Li, "But they are all fragments of your imagination as you lay in the coma. I know this must be a terrible shock to you"

"My dead lover comes back to life in front of my eyes, tells me I'm not actually married, everything I have lived for over a year is a figment of my imagination… Nope – not a shock at all" Harry sighed. "So what happened?" he asked.

"Got injured in a fight against some Death Eater revivalists" Sue Li shrugged. "I was not there, of course, but Luna told me all about it"

"Why were you not there?"

"You must have more damage than we thought… Harry, I was looking after our children – they took me straight back to them after you got me out"

"Children?"

"Twins – Hecate and Ajax" and Sue saw the look of upset that flashed over Harry's face. "You couldn't have known" she assured him.

"I want to believe you, but part of me doesn't" said Harry slowly. "I'm pleased beyond words that you are back in my life… But I've made a life for myself here! And…"

"And you can't decide which is which" Sue nodded in understanding. "Only you can make that choice, Harry, to stay here or come back with me. For now, though, I have to go and speak to the Healers. Shall I come back tomorrow at the same time?"

"Sure… I'm guessing Hermione must be pissed at me or something"

"Harry, you see… Hermione died"

"How?"

"Nobody really knows how, Harry, but the curse took hold of her before any Healer could get to her" she opened her mouth to say more, but then Sue suddenly vanished into thin air. Harry sat back and thought hard about what he had just experienced – how could everything he had lived in the past year be a lie? He had a wife, friends, a good job…

#

"Harry, are you alright?" asked Nyssa as she served breakfast the following morning.

"Mmm…? Oh, yes – just thinking about the special today" Harry replied. He had been tasked with taking a special train of enthusiasts from the western side of the island all the way to the mainland and then onwards to London. He had suggested Nyssa come along with him, but she had some important exams to sit and wouldn't be able to join him as a passenger.

"Who are you driving?" Nyssa looked up from the frying pan on the stove top.

"Gordon" he said, folding up the newspaper and picking up his knife and fork. "That means that he'll be an awkward sod there and back – he's never forgiven me for failing him before taking the fast Down Nights. We had to get him towed back to the shed before getting Henry off the Goods and setting off"

"I swear the blue puffball has a bigger ego than you"

"Hey!"

"Will you be back tonight?"

"That is the plan, but we've got a blockade we need to get through before 9pm on the section between Preston and Lancaster" Harry shrugged. "Control might arrange with Network Rail to delay it a few minutes, but if not we'll either have to sit and wait it out or divert via the S&C and then down to Barrow that way"

"Can he handle that without recoiling?" Nyssa frowned.

"In theory, no… In reality, also no… Of course, if he could then it would be magical" and Harry waggled his eyes brows and made Nyssa laugh. As he watched her giggle at his antics, he was still trying to decide to stay in a coma or to wake up. Of course, he thought, there was every chance he was in one hell of a dream fuelled by all the Firewhiskey he had consumed.

#

It had been sunny when Harry had left for the sheds, but by the time he arrived it had become cloudy and threatening rain later on. Harry signed on, collected his equipment, examined Gordon carefully for any problems, gave him a quick polish in the cab before allowing the Fireman to take him off shed and onto the turntable. Within half an hour, Harry was slowly backing Gordon onto the special train and waited for the passengers from the boat train from the Isle of Man for an organisation of railway enthusiasts known as the Branch Line Society which apparently had many members.

"Excuse me, Harry, but are you feeling quite well?" Gordon asked. He was still not happy with him, but the engine could tell something was the matter and decided to let the matter rest for now.

"Hmm…? Oh, yes… I just had some bad news about somebody I knew. Its nothing bad" he added quickly, "Just something happened that wasn't expected"

"Ah… You know, the last time I had a driver with bad news, he ended up divorcing his wife and suing her for having an affair"

"I hardly think that is going to happen with me" Harry told the engine, "After all, I only look after Nyssa – I'm not going to marry her"

"Oh please, Harry…" Gordon snorted, "I know all about magic, how you are magically married to Nyssa and everything else – there is little that escapes my attention"

"Even me?"

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Sir Topham Hatt… Sir…" Gordon spluttered as Harry and the Fireman laughed.

"Perhaps I better find another engine that doesn't let the smallest thing escape their notice"

"I just didn't see you, Sir"

"Gordon, I weigh twenty one stone, walk like a pregnant duck with a stick up its backside and talk like a drunk Winston Churchill with a Yorkshire accent – how can you not notice me?" but Gordon wisely decided not to reply.

"Have you any special messages for us?" asked Harry.

"No… I just thought that I would come and see you off on your special"

"Oh" shrugged Harry. "Why not join us?"

"I have a lot of work to do, but I made the time for this" the older man said. "How is your ward?" he added.

"Nyssa's doing as well as can be expected. With school almost over now, she's just doing some revising for her end of year exams and deciding if she wants to go to college or university"

"Which would you prefer she went to?" the Fat Controller leaned against Gordon's cab.

"It's up to her, but I think she'd do well in university" Harry replied, looking down the platform as the first passengers from the boat train came to the station. "She wants to study Science, History, Art, English Lit and one or two other things. It would be easier to do that at college, of course, but Nyssa wants to strive hard and I guess she'll go into the university on the mainland"

"Will it cost a lot of money?" asked Gordon.

"A bit" Harry chuckled, "But a good education is well worth the money, Gordon. In the old days, you had to be either really rich or get a scholarship – now you can get a grant or loan to help pay for costs. Quite apart from that, though, she has to take exams in her chosen study subjects to prove she has the ability to learn there"

"Did you ever go to one of these places?" asked the engine.

"No… I was too busy fighting a war"

"Well what about after?"

"After…? After the war was over, Gordon, I buried the heroes"

"Are you a hero?"

"No… I am just somebody who survived. The real heroes are those that gave up their lives to defend the weak and sick… To sacrifice themselves for law, justice and peace" Harry climbed back up to the footplate.

"Did I say something wrong?" asked Gordon quietly to the Fat Controller.

"No, Gordon, you didn't – Harry just has some very bad memories that he can never get rid of" the Fat Controller looked up and wondered about what Harry really saw in his mind when he closed his eyes at night. He had vague memories of World War 2, stronger memories and felt sickened at news reports from Vietnam. Of course, in those conflicts you knew who you were fighting against… In Harry's case, you could be talking to somebody and five seconds later they would try to kill you because of some mind control. Occasionally, he'd ask Harry about the war and he'd never get much back in return except to say that it had been worse than anything that could be imagined.

#

The special boat train service was a great success for the group of enthusiasts that arrived on the boat and they all promised to write good reviews in their society's newspaper and on the internet. Percy handled the empty stock and Harry drove Gordon back to the shed. Once he got home, it was late at night and Nyssa was already upstairs in bed. Harry ate the pizza he had picked up on the way back and settled down in a chair to listen to an all night radio talk show with a glass of scotch.

"I always thought you strange for listening to these types of shows"

"Back again?" Harry glanced over to where Sue was sat on the sofa.

"I like living in your head… Its kind of roomy"

"So, whats the verdict?" Harry asked, "Can I come back or not?"

"Oh, well that is entirely up to you of course" Sue replied, "Though I would prefer it if you did"

"I know… I have problems working this all out – I see people that you tell me are dead yet seem so alive to me"

"It is hard, I know, but if you stay in this coma you will die" Sue Li moved over to sit on his lap. "We think that we could bring you out of this in a few days, but you have to be willing to come back"

"But I have a life here… A wife…"

"And you have that back in the real world, Harry – only you have children too"

"How do I know this is not a trick? How can I be so sure?"

"Like I said, the decision to come back is entirely yours. But think about it, love – without you around, its getting dangerous out there with Death Eater Revivalists, dark creatures and all sorts of bad people running amok because they know you are out of action. I hate to say it, but we need Harry Potter to defend us once again" and Harry frowned.

"Tell me more about what is happening" he demanded.

"Well, thieves are working in Diagon Alley and its hard to detect them, muggle baiting is on the rise, people are sometimes too frightened to leave their own homes, fights break out without warning – its getting dark outside" and Harry could tell Sue did not mean the weather. The people need their saviour, Harry, but I want my husband back"

"When…?" Harry sighed.

"Maybe three or four days?" shrugged Sue, "But I will have to check that with the Healers. Does this mean you are coming back?" she asked with her eyes widening.

"I guess so… Never could stomach stepping out in the middle of a fight" and Harry chuckled. "So what do I do until then?"

"You could screw me into oblivion" Sue's eyebrows dancing with merriment as she spoke. "That is one of your favourite things to do when you have time to waste. Honestly, though, just try to do what you would normally do to keep as healthy a mind as possible"

"Part of me thinks I'm seeing and hearing things" Harry gazed into the fire as Sue snuggled into him. He could feel her weight on him, smell her perfume, feel how aroused she was by the wetness soaking through her knickers…

"Well I know one part of you that is sure I am real… Well, real enough" Sue squeezed a part of Harry and he moaned for a moment.

"I'm going to miss this"

"We can always come here back in the real world" Sue said to him. "Harry, I have to go in a minute. I have to tell you this before I go – don't give up. According to everything we've researched, people who have been like this and been contacted tend to let their minds simply give up. In most cases, they have gone on to die. I… I can't think of a life without you, Harry, and this year has been hard enough"

"Three days?"

"At the most… Try not to be late" and, with that, Sue Li vanished. Harry sighed and finished his drink before watching the stars out of the window. What did you do when waiting three days to end an existance? The question burned in his mind for over an hour before he decided to go to bed with the theory he could at least give himself a healthy mind – although having an unhealthy one had put him in this situation already.

# # # # #

Harry was still thinking about everything when he arrived at the depot to find people in a deep mood about something. After signing on, he went into the mess and saw the reason for the gloom – the shed's team had lost at the football. Chuckling to himself, Harry went to deal with filling his tea can and checking the late notice case for anything that might bother him later – there was nothing apart from a notification that the South Yard entry road would be shut for replacement of the fishplates and some track renewal. A few minutes later and Harry and his Fireman walked out to where Thomas was waiting in the sheds ready for work.

"Good Morning, Mr Fireman. Good Morning, Harry" he said. "What do I have today?"

"A lot of work…" Harry said.

"… and not enough time to do it in" Thomas smiled. "Is it trucks or passengers?"

"Both" Harry replied. "We're to take a few parcel trucks and a cold wagon up on the back of your Ulfstead… Apparently, they've had a blockage of the road and rail is the only way in"

"We must help them" Thomas said.

"We will" Harry assured him. As they got to work, Harry knew he would regret leaving this enjoyable work and hoped the railway existed in real life as he planned to take it up after recovering and quitting the Auror Corps after the fighting was done.

"Signal is against us" the Fireman and Thomas said at the same time and Harry looked up to see the ground signal was on red. He gave a blast on the whistle and then waited the regulation three minutes before climbing down and walking to the SPT.

"Keith Smith, Knapford Signaller speaking"

"Hello. This is the driver of One Zulu Nine Nine standing at your Kilo November Five Seven signal"

"Hello driver of One Zulu Nine Nine standing at my Kilo November Five Seven signal. I have a problem with some of the points in that area and that they indicate as being off when they are on. Will you go forward at caution, investigate and report to me at Kilo November Three Three signal?"

"I understand that you have a points indication failure and you reach for me to go forward at caution to investigate and report back to you at Kilo November Three Three signal" Harry replied in a slow and measured tone that confirmed he understood the instructions.

"Thank you, driver… Knapford Box out" and Harry hung up the phone, closed the cabinet door to the SPT and walked back and told the Fireman and Thomas what was happening.

"You will have to be extra careful as we go along" he said to the blue tank engine.

"Oh, I will" came the cheery reply, though both humans knew he was taking this very seriously indeed. They slowly crept past the signal and checked point after point until Thomas suddenly called out for them to stop. "That one in front of me isn't set right" he said. Harry and the Fireman climbed down so they could both have a look and saw that the points had stopped in the middle of switching position.

"You better go back and tell the guard to lay down protection" Harry advised the Fireman who nodded and went away.

"Its lucky I was being so careful" Thomas said, "Otherwise there would have been an accident and that would have caused confusion and delay"

"And death…" Harry sighed. He walked up to the signal nearby and contacted the box once again. "This is the driver of One Zulu Nine Nine standing at your Kilo November Three One signal"

"Hello driver of One Zulu Nine Nine standing at my Kilo November Three One signal" the signaller spoke to Harry.

"I've crept forward to examine points and signals coming out of the north end area of Knapford yard and Thomas has spotted broken points from the Up Slow to the Up Relief just before Kilo November Three One signal. My rear has cleared the yard and I have sent the guard to place protection down"

"I understand that you are reporting a failure of the points from the Up Slow to the Up Relief prior to Kilo November Three One signal. I also understand your rear has cleared the yard and that your guard has gone back to place protection. I will make appropriate actions at once" the signaller replied. "Driver, will you accept a wrong road move back as far as 1414 points and take the Up Fast?"

"Yes"

"Right… Driver, you are hereby authorised by myself to make a wrong road reverse as far as 1414 points and take the Up Fast line. When passing the box, you are to give three long blasts on the whistle followed by a single quick blast"

"Hello, Signaller. I understand I am hereby authorised by yourself to make a wrong road reverse as far as 1414 points and take the Up Fast line. When passing the box, I am to give three long blasts on the whistle followed by a single quick blast"

"Correct, Driver. Knapford Box out"

#

The people of Ulfstead gratefully received the supplies as nobody seemed to know when the roads would be cleared. With that in mind, Thomas was instructed to run a shuttle service as best as he could with Annie and Clarabel to take people to make connections on other lines. At one point, Gordon had arrived with some heavy equipment to unload – the normally fussy engine working hard to get people out of the trouble they were in. Harry was just about to run Thomas around when the local mayor came rushing up.

"We need your help?"

"We're already doing as much as we can, Mr Mayor" Thomas said.

"I know, Thomas, and I am very happy with it. What I mean, though, is that one of the ladies has gone into labour in some sort of funny way and she needs to get to a big hospital quickly" and Harry briefly thought about using Magic, but decided that it might not help his mental state.

"I heard what the Mayor said" commented Gordon's driver, "So we will go on ahead and make sure the line is clear all the way back to Knapford. We'll get the Station Master to ring all the boxes along the way so they can clear everything for you" and he ran over and climbed into Gordon's cab.

"Poop Poop" Gordon said as he started to move away.

"Peep Pip Pip Peep – you too" Thomas replied and then waited anxiously for his special cargo.

"The woman is here with a Doctor" the Fireman said as he leaned out of Thomas's cab. "Oh… And the Pope is here too"

"The Pope is here…?" Harry stuck his head out too and saw the familiar figure of the Pope along with a Doctor, two railway workers and a woman on a hospital trolley. "I must be going out of my mind" and then he smiled at the statement. The two railway workers loaded the woman into Clarabel as the coach had a space for luggage which meant more room for the Doctor to help the woman.

"You are the driver?" the Pope came up to talk to Harry.

"I am…"

"I wish for you to get this woman to the next medical facility you can. She has gone into labour, but the baby has not turned correctly and the life of herself and her unborn child are at risk God willing, you will speed her to aid"

"I don't know who this God is" Thomas said, "But he doesn't need to worry – I will get the lady to where she needs to be in record speed"

"I pray that God is at your controls"

"Only Harry may touch my controls" Thomas remarked, "And God may not… Besides, he's not a qualified driver"

"Are you a Catholic?" asked the Pope with a smile.

"No, I'm a tank engine"

"Yes… yes, you are. I must go back and pray for the woman and her child"

"She's Jewish" the Fireman said.

"Well" the Pope let out a belly laugh, "Nobody is perfect"

#

"Hurry, hurry, hurry" Gordon panted as he raced along the tracks as quickly as he could to raise the alarm and have people standing by ready to help the woman. Gordon had, over his many years of life, seen a number of babies being born and had also seen when things had gone terribly wrong. He had been around when Hitler had marched over Europe and killed all those that stood in his way and those that he simply disliked. After the war, the engine had come to think of all life as sacred and was always sad when a life ended. Sometimes, when he was on a long turn around, he wondered if he really had a life and would anybody miss him if he was to stop existing – Gordon had never been able to work out if engines could die. He knew very well they could be scrapped, but as to death…? The engine shuddered as he sped on hoping to high hope that the woman and her child would pull through.

#

"Hurry, hurry, hurry" Thomas unknowingly echoed Gordon's words as he pounded the rails as hard as the small tank engine could – he wasn't just saying it but really meant it. He would normally be excited about being allowed to run so fast, but it was a matter of the utmost importance on this occasion. He could feel the hot water flooding his pipes to make his boiler create as much steam as possible, his pistons hissed and his valve gear started to ache. All of this, however, he ignored as he went up hills, through tunnels, nonstop over level crossings and in and out of stations without stopping. This was not a journey that had to be right on time – it had to be especially early…

"You alright, Thomas?" asked Harry.

"Yes" the tank engine was reduced to the most basic of replies. "Must go faster. Must go faster. Must go faster" he chanted.

"You are coming up to the limit of your working pressure" Harry said and Thomas, still very busy, thought hard about it.

"That's normal working, right? Don't I have more?"

"Yep"

"Then I'm okay" Thomas replied. "I never much cared for safety valves anyway"

"Are all these engines so reckless?" asked the Fireman as he took a few seconds away from shovelling coal.

"Only the good ones, Mr Fireman, only the good ones"

"What about bad engines?"

"They go" Thomas started to work hard and slipped back into simple replies.

#

With just three miles left, Thomas's safety valve suddenly burst as he also was struck by a terrible feeling in his boiler. Loudly screaming from escaping steam, the engine ignored his boiler ache and bravely soldiered on to get to Knapford station where an ambulance was waiting for them. The other engines sat on other tracks as Harry guided Thomas to a stop with the doors to the guard's compartment on Clarabel in line with the station's main archway – Gordon looked back as he could see the steam still escaping from Thomas's safety valve and the big engine could not imagine how much the boiler pressure had been even after it had blown off. It was at that moment that Gordon vowed never to under estimate Thomas again – even if the child or the lady did not survive the emergency, nobody could deny the bravery shown by him as he almost tore himself to pieces.

"Peep Pip Pip Peep… Quickly please" the tank engine wheezed as the Doctor supervised the loading of the woman into the ambulance followed by a man in a white robe and pointed hat. It was just as they were moving off when Thomas allowed himself to moan and there was an almighty screeching noise as Thomas's boiler burst open and tore through his left side. "Oh… Oh… Oh…" he said.

"Cinders and ashes!" Gordon exclaimed and then he realised Thomas's crew were still nearby. He was relieved to see they had dived for cover and came out a little shaken but fine. "Can you hear me, Thomas?" but the tank engine had closed his eyes – the big engine did not like the look of that. "James!" he spotted the red engine sitting in the sidings, "Go and fetch the brakedown crane and a flatbed"

"Right away, Gordon" James sped off.

"Driver, when Thomas is placed on the flatbed, please couple me up so I can take him to the works. I do hope they can help him"

"I'm sure they can" Gordon's driver had never seen him so frightened.

"Are you alright?" Gordon asked Harry and Thomas's Fireman.

"A little shaken, but we'll be fine" Harry said.

"I'm not" the Fireman.

"Why?" asked Gordon.

"I've torn my trousers" and they all looked to see the large hole in the right leg.

"Oh" Gordon looked at the Fireman and then crinkled his face into laughter. "Shall I take you to the works as well?"

#

"I've just spoken to the hospital" the Fat Controller said to Harry as he finished filling out the forms about the accident.

"How is she?"

"Mother and baby are both doing fine. They had to throw everything at it, but everything is alright now. Given what has happened, I think you should go home – Nyssa should be back by now"

"Aye" Harry put his stuff together and stood. "I'm going to miss this place" he muttered.

"Leaving us?"

"What…? Oh, no – its just that this doesn't seem real, you know? Like a dream that is all going on inside my head"

"My dear boy" the Fat Controller said, "Of course it is happening inside your head, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" and Harry narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"What do you think about fighting, Sir?" he asked.

"It is important to fight and fight again, and keep fighting, for only then can evil be kept at bay though never quite eradicated" and Harry roared in anger as things he had always thought about but never connected fell into place

"SHOW YOURSELF, DUMBLEDORE!"

A/N:

Well, that was a plot twist, wasn't it…?

Pixel and Stephanie Forever