Clarke really was paying attention to where she was going. But her mind kept reminding her what she was running from and she got distracted. She was crying, the tears clouding her vision as she drove down the road faster than the speed limit suggested. She didn't see the old red pickup stopped in front of her. She didn't have time to hit the breaks or try and stop before she slammed into the bed.

After the initial impact, she sat there crying for a little longer. Her hands shaking as she held onto the wheel, staring at the damage she had caused. Great, more damage with her name on it. She was tired of breaking every thing she touched.

Finally after a moment she pulled herself together and got out of the car. There was a tall brown haired boy glaring at her. Something was familiar about him, she couldn't put her finger on it though. She was too far away to see his face. She walked forward, her hands in front of her. They were still shaking. The back of his truck wasn't that bad. Her little car had taken most of the impact.

The hood had smoke billowing out of it, "were you even watching the road? It's a stop sign!"

His voice made her jump, and she realized who it was. He was glaring at her the way he had the night she left. She had no idea where she was, but somehow she had found him again. Her heart ached as fresh memories filled her head, ones that took the other more painful ones away for the moment. She was grateful and yet angry all at the same time. She didn't think she would ever see him again, and yet there he was still glaring at her.

Bellamy Blake, the one she walked away from.

Clarke was a mess of emotions, but she wouldn't let him be an asshole because of a mistake, "look I'm sorry. I've had a shitty day, but I was paying attention."

"Clearly you weren't," he ran his hand through his hair, "dammit this is my only way to work. It's gonna take forever to fix."

He stopped once he heard her voice and looked up. His eyes weren't playing trick on him, she was really standing there staring at him. Out of all the people in the world how had Clarke come back into his life? His eyes were wide as she kept staring at him, they were both wondering if they were dreaming. It was clear they weren't expecting each other, they never thought they'd talk after that horrible night.

Bellamy never did forgive himself for letting her go without a fight.

"Look I have insurance. Give me your information I'll give you mine," Clarke pulled herself out of the trance of seeing him again and walked back to her car. She grabbed the envelope from the glove box.

Bellamy cursed a few more times, trying not to stare at the pretty blonde that used to hold his heart in the palm of her hands. She was trying so hard not to cry, to hold herself together. She was a beautiful mess and he didn't want to get caught up in her storm. Then again Bellamy wanted to know why she was here, how she had found her way to his new life. He wanted to know what was wrong.

He wanted to fix it, even if he couldn't fix himself.

Even if Clarke was upset she didn't miss how handsome Bellamy still was. He still held himself up straight, his muscles hugging his tee shirt nicely. He looked darker, his freckles were still her favorite feature. Clarke had missed him, there were so many nights she had cried herself to sleep wondering what would've happened if she had stayed, if she took Bellamy up on his offer.

Clarke pulled herself together and looked away from him. She sighed, writing down her information as he stared at her card. He was doing whatever he could to avoid looking at her. He still hadn't gotten over her, "so what are you doing all the way out here in Tennessee?"

Clarke shrugged, writing slower. His anger had dissolved a little, "clearing my head?"

He didn't believe her, his eyes told her that. He made a noise Clarke couldn't quiet understand and then slammed her card down on her hood. Her horribly dented and possibly dead hood. There was the old Bellamy she remembered, the one who couldn't speak his mind so instead he just got angry.

He might not have a way to work, but she had nowhere to go, nowhere to wait for her little car to be fixed. She cursed at herself, finally understand how horrible this entire situation was. She bit down on her lip, wondering how Bellamy had ended up in Tennessee himself. She wanted to ask him about his life, she wanted to know what had happened after she packed her car up and left him standing there watching her go.

But her pride wouldn't let her.

They exchanged information and Clarke stood there staring at her poor little car. She stuck out her bottom lip, making Bellamy stop from turning around. He knew he was going to kick himself for asking, but he couldn't let a damsel stay in distress for long.

"So uh, you weren't planning on stopping here?" He cleared his throat, clearly nervous now that they had gotten the business out of the way.

Clarke nodded slowly, "I don't even know where here is, but yeah. I didn't have an end point in mind," she sighed, "how long have you been here?"

"Since you left," his voice was flat and he looked away from her. He still didn't understand how in all the places there were for her to break down this was where it happened. He thought he was done thinking about her, but now that she was standing there in front of him he was all wrong. His heart was killing him. God he missed her, the smell of her, the feel of her pressed against his chest.

"Bell," her voice broke as she stepped forward.

There was so much wrong with her life at the moment, but she didn't know how to fix any of it let alone face the ex she had ran away from. Well she didn't run away from him, she chose school, a life they both knew she didn't want, over him. Her mother forced her hand, back then Clarke felt like she didn't have a choice. So she drove away with him standing in the rearview mirror.

He didn't know it but Clarke saw his tears. She watched him cry as she turned out of sight and out of his life for what he thought was the last time.

Bellamy smiled it was small and forced but she could see how it changed his face, made him look softer. He was still so handsome. Clarke felt a little uneasy, last time she found someone attractive she couldn't remember the rest of her night. She looked away from him, trying not to get nervous. She had been fighting panic attacks since it happened. She didn't need to explain what happened to him just yet. She wasn't ready to say the words out loud. She wasn't even sure if it happened.

She breathed in deeply, "it smells like rain."

Bellamy looked surprised, "it's supposed to storm tonight. So I called the tow truck he's going to come get your car. I can fix this myself," there were a few dents and the hinge was broken. But his truck looked okay, "can I take you somewhere?"

She laughed, the nervous energy bubbling inside her chest. Last year he wouldn't have thought twice about taking her back to his place. He would've insisted on making sure she was okay, even though nothing terrible had happened. Now she was standing there staring at a stranger. She might have known Bellamy once, but she didn't know this version of him now.

Her heart hurt as she realized how much had changed, "I guess a motel? I didn't plan on wrecking my car. I didn't plan on stopping," a tear slipping down her cheek, "I didn't plan on my life spiraling out of control."

Bellamy pinched his nose between his fingers and sighed loudly. He knew he would regret this, "I don't think you want a motel. Come on I'll take you to someone who can help."

Clarke didn't move as he walked towards his truck. She wasn't so easy to trust anymore, her legs were frozen. She swallowed the panic, pushing it as far down as it would go. She stepped forward, her heart racing a million miles a minute.

"If you try to kill me I'll scream," she struggled to keep her voice level, "I'm a fighter."

He laughed and it wasn't forced. He had forgotten how funny she could be. He remembered everything about her, and yet he forgot so much of why he had fallen in love with her, "okay so my plan just went out the window."

She liked hearing him laugh. It reminded her of a life she had forgotten. The life she had with him and the plans they had made before she was forced to choose. She missed that life, she missed him. Part of the reason everything had happened was because Lexa was trying to make her forget about him. But she could never forget him, he had been in her life since she was sixteen. He was her first real love.

There was a time she thought he would be her last.

Clarke sighed, "this is crazy. I mean out of all the places, all the people," she was echoing his earlier thoughts and he grunted in response, "okay so I take it you don't want to talk about it?"

He sighed, "Clarke I'm not mad at you anymore, but I'm not in love with you anymore either. I'm sorry," he gripped the wheel and tried not to notice the tears that filled her beautiful blue eyes, "we don't have to pretend like we're still friends. It's been two years."

Clarke wiped away a tear, "I wasn't pretending," her voice broke and she looked out the window, her heart pounding in her chest. He had never said those words to her, even when they fought before she left. He never said he didn't love her anymore, or that they couldn't be friends. It hurt her too much to sit there and realize how much they'd grown apart. She thought the next time she saw him they would pick up the pieces and start over.

Now she realized how naive she was for thinking that. They couldn't repair what she had broken.

Bellamy drove in silence down the street and she saw the lights of a small town light up his way. She kept staring at the window, feeling the pit in her stomach grow. She was so alone, she had suffered and there was no one around to help her. There was another tear on her cheek as she tried to push the panic back down, but this time it wouldn't go down.

She coughed, losing her breath. It felt like her insides were tearing themselves apart and she started to hyperventilate. Bellamy looked over and he knew something was wrong. She was holding onto the handle of his truck with white fingers. He slowed down, pulling over on the side of the road as she tried to breathe.

"Clarke?"

She didn't say anything, she pushed open the door and stumbled out into the grass. She didn't want this to happen, not in front of him. She struggled to breath, her lungs felt like they were on fire. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't fill them with air. It was too hard, her throat felt like it was coated with sand paper. She fell onto her knees in the cool grass, feeling the light rain on her forehead.

She closed her eyes, thinking about her happy place. She could see the blue sky, the big white clouds welcome her. She thought of being there, in the green grass with the flowers that were as tall as her. She could hear the window, the rustling of the trees. Slowly her chest loosened up, her lungs filled with air. The tears were still in her eyes, but she felt the fear start to leave grip of her.

After another moment she opened her eyes and Bellamy stood there staring at her, "are you okay?"

Slowly Clarke stood up and nodded her head, "yeah," her voice caught in her throat as she looked at the boy who would've been able to take that away with one touch. Once upon a time he would've wrapped his arms around her and promised her nothing would happen. He would've listened to her story and then tracked down the people responsible for her new anxiety and made them pay.

Now she stood there wondering if he would even care if she told him the truth. He was full of anger, and it was all directed towards her. She could see it through his eyes as they stood int he dim light of the town staring at each other. Between hitting his car and getting here the sun had set. Clarke wasn't sure why, but she felt like this was the beginning of the worst chapter in her life.

"Let's just go," she said quietly getting back into the truck before he could ask her what had happened. She didn't want to explain it to him, she didn't want to tell him she was a basket case, and that ever since she went to school she couldn't stop wishing she was with him. She didn't want to tell him that he had been right, the life her mother chose for her wasn't the one she wanted at all.

The rest of the drive was done in silence. Every once in a while Bellamy would look over and see her sitting there staring out the window. She wouldn't look at him, Clarke didn't want to let him know she was still falling apart. So she watched the rows of houses that passed by, she saw the center of what was their little town.

She tried to keep herself together, she didn't need him to save her. She was perfectly capable of saving herself.