Hey people! First DC story! How cool is that? It's not Marvel, I I loves it anyways…

And yes, this would happen to a speedster if given a lot of the drink.

Also, I'm changing my pen name from SteampunkSmugglerGirl to Unassailable Heart. Read on!

~SteampunkGirl

Garfield Logan switched position on the couch again, kicking his feet up off the arm of the couch onto the back, so he was now upside-down. Then he sighed.

Jaime Reyes wandered past. "Hey Gar. Any word from Batman?"

"Nope. Nothing. No missions. Again. It's been six days since anything's happened. I'm so bored!" he complained.

A red and white blur appeared next to the couch in the form of Bart Allen. "Hey guys! What are you-"

Ding!

"Whoops, that's the microwave." And Bart disappeared in another blur.

Jaime shook his head. "Sometimes I think I'm only friends with him because he's one step away from stalking me…"

Gar wasn't listening. "Hey Blue, we have coffee in here, right?"

"Uh, I think so. Why? You don't like coffee."

Gar pushed off of the couch, stretched, and grinned in the direction of the kitchen. "It's not for me."

Jaime tipped his head to the side, confused. Then his eyes widened. "No! Absolutely not! There is no way I'm letting you give coffee to someone with superspeed!"

"Oh come on! What's the worst that could happen?"

"He can run through walls! Anything could happen! We are not giving caffeine to someone who can break the sound barrier easier than they can work the TV remote!" Jaime insisted.

"I heard TV remote. Those things are hard. Lots of buttons." Bart Allen said, reappearing next to the couch swallowing whatever food he had been heating up. "So what are we doing?"

Gar grabbed Bart's arm, guiding him back to the kitchen. "Nothing really. But I do have a delicious drink I think you should try…"

Jaime pressed his hand to his forehead. "Someone's mentor is going to kill me for this," he muttered, trailing after Gar and Bart.

…

Bart spat brown liquid, breathing hard, and stuck his tongue out of his mouth.

"-It's hot," Jaime said, a second too late.

"Gah, I think I burned my taste buds off," complained Bart.

Gar wrinkled his nose. "Gross. I'm so not cleaning that up."

Jaime leaned in. "Your idea. You clean up the mess. Get. A. Rag," he growled.

"Like I said, I'll clean this up…"

Bart meanwhile had poured himself another cup of coffee and had dropped some ice cubes in it. "Ok, let's do this again." He took a long drink of coffee. "It's pretty good. I still like milk better, even though it comes from a weird place."

"Some people put- ow!" Jaime glared at Gar, rubbing his side where he had been elbowed.

"It'll work faster if we don't dilute it, "whispered Gar.

"I don't want it to work at all!" Jaime hissed back.

Bart meanwhile had finished what was in his cup and poured himself another.

Recognized, Nightwing, B01, announced the computer.

"Hey, maybe he's got a mission for us!" Gar said excitedly.

"Putting sugar in this really improves the taste!" said Bart, stirring in several spoonfuls.

"Don't put so much!" Jaime said, pushing the bag of sugar away from Bart. "I'm gonna go see what Nightwing wants. Just- stay calm, ok, ese?"

"Ok, sure," said the speedster, reaching for the sugar again.

Jaime walked into the main part of the cave, trying to think up a good excuse for why Bart would be running around crazy in a few minutes. He couldn't come up with any.

"Hey Jaime. What have you been up to?" Nightwing asked.

"Up to? Uh, nothing! What makes you think we've been up to anything?" Jaime said, trying to sound casual and failing epically.

Garfield raised his eyebrows at him.

"Okay, what have you two been doing?" Nightwing asked. "And don't try to deny it. There's no way you guys were just watching TV, not after the way Blue was acting."

Gar coughed slightly. "Well, Batman hadn't sent us on any missions in a few days, and no one had really stopped by-"

"Hey, I'm no one?" Jaime protested.

"-So I was forced to entertain myself!" Gar finished.

Nightwing narrowed his eyes. "What did you do?"

"We gave Impulse an entire pot of regular coffee to drink."

Nightwing frowned. "But that won't-"

"Hey! Any missions? Coffees all gone, by the way," Bart said, speeding in and interrupting Nightwing.

"Yes. Yes there is. Mirror Master has been threatening us. Bart, I need you to count every reflective surface in the cave for me."

"Ok, I can-"

"But first," Nightwing said, holding up his hand. "Tell me, how do you feel?"

"I have this weird sort of buzz in the back of my head… Oh, wait, it's gone now." Bart said, and then ran off.

"Mirror Master is going to attack?" Jaime asked.

"No. I just needed to keep Bart busy while I explain something to you. The coffee thing. It's not going to affect him at all." Nightwing said.

"But it was a whole pot! Shouldn't he be bouncing off the walls?" Gar asked.

"I tried sort of the same thing with Kid Flash once, but I used energy drinks. All that happened was he complained of a slight buzzing in the back of his skull. Because he was a speedster, his body works ten times faster than the average persons; he was just metabolizing all the caffeine. Flashes can't get hyper."

"Oooh…" said Gar, nodding slowly. "Noted."

"I'm so relieved!" Jaime said.

"So relieved about what?" Bart asked, standing next to Jaime. "I feel like I keep getting the last few words of conversations today. And there are forty six reflective surfaces in here, but if you rub really hard on the walls, they smooth down and get shiny."

"Sorry Bart, turns out Mirror Master is not attacking, that's what Jaime was relived about," Nightwing said.

"Darn. It's been a little slow lately," complained Bart. "Do we have anymore coffee?"

"We do, but no matter how much you drink, it's not gonna speed things up. Life's disappointing sometimes…." Gar sighed and headed back to the couch.

Jaime walked with Bart back to the kitchen. "Maybe you should stick to milk, just in case."