A/N: Because it happens to all us ladies. And watching the boys of Fairy Tail freak out is just amusing. This'll probably be updated about once a month (haha, it's not funny) or not. Who knows. It depends if I'm a hormonal wreck or not. Or it will just stay a oneshot. Again, who knows.

There were times Lucy hated being a girl.

This was one of those times.

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE JOKING!" She screeched. Seated on the edge of her bathtub, Lucy buried her head in her hands and tried not to start sobbing. This was great, just great. All she wanted was to come home and take an hour long bath after the long, looong mission she had just returned from with Team Natsu.

It had taken two weeks for them to complete a mission that was supposed only take three days. In those two weeks, Natsu and Gray had fought 361 times (yes, she had counted), Erza had broken up those 361 fights with violence, Lucy had lost her clothes 18 times (again, she counted), Loke had flirted with her 7 times, Aquarius had washed her away 4 times, they (Gray and Natsu) had destroyed the town, Erza had destroyed the bridge to the town, and they had lost the reward, which pretty much went without saying.

Now to top it all off, her period had started.

Lucy sank down to the floor and curled up in a ball of patheticness. Now that she realized her period had started, the cramps made themselves known. And oh, did they make themselves known. On a normal cycle, her cramps would be mild to lightly uncomfortable.

These cramps, however, were hellish. Her body felt as if it was attempting to rip itself in half. Her lower half ached and burned. It was like no pain she had ever felt before. Lucy knew pain. She felt it on a daily basis dealing with her wild teammates. But somehow period pains always seemed so much worse than any cuts or bruises she got on a job.

Tears began to drip down her cheeks as the pain got worse. She had been so stressed recently and that wasn't helping her mood. Lucy started crying harder when she realized she wouldn't be able to pay her rent since it was due next week unless she went on a solo job tomorrow.

Well, that wasn't happening.

"Oi! Bright Eyes, where are you?"

Not even Cobra's voice could pierce the veil of her hormonal breakdown.

Cobra stepped into his girlfriend's apartment, eager to see her again. Her idiotic team had dragged her off the day he was supposed to return from a job with Crime Sorcerie.

That had been two weeks ago.

He had sulked around Fairy Tail, growing more and more worried when she hadn't returned when she was supposed to. Jellal was this close to sending him off after Team Natsu just to get the surly Slayer out of his hair when Erza showed up at the guild hall with Gray and Natsu in tow. She had quickly explained to Cobra, who had nearly shook the Titania out of her skin in frantic worry, that yes, Lucy was okay, she was tired, cross, and back at her apartment. Cobra was off like a shot before Erza could finish warning him that Lucy was feeling homicidal.

Oh well, his loss.

She wasn't in the main part of the room, but her bag was. She was home, he could tell, but something smelled off. The smell of salt and copper filled the air of Lucy's apartment, overpowering her natural scent of strawberries and vanilla.

A single violet eye widened as his sensitive ears caught the sound of sobbing. Combine that with the smell of blood, it was understandable that he was across the room and in the bathroom in a single bound.

"LUCY!" Cobra dropped on his knees beside the sobbing mage, searching desperately for injuries. He was so worried he couldn't even use a nickname for his girl. "Lucy! Lucy, honey, what's wrong?" Even using his Soul Listening he couldn't figure out what was going on. Her soul was a mess. Cobra tried to turn her over and she lashed out at him. One arm connected with his face as the other pressed against her abdomen. Her face was a ghastly shade of white. Stunned that she had struck him, Cobra dropped his hands from her body as Lucy tried to curl into an even smaller ball.

She let out a whimper. "It hurts," she gasped. "It hurts so much. Make it stop!" Lucy wailed in agony, terrifying him. Lucy never acted like this. What was causing the pain? How did he stop it? Why was she in so much pain in the first place? He carefully scooped her up, pausing only to adjust her in his arms, before he took off at a dead run toward the guild.

He honestly couldn't get to the guild fast enough.

"WENDY!" A maroon, white, blonde, and blue whirlwind burst through the guild doors. Wendy jolted upright, spilling her drink all over Romeo. He swore, Carla smacked him on the side of the head for his language, causing his drink to dump down Gajeel's neck as he went by. Gajeel whirled, swinging a fist but hitting Sting instead of Romeo. Sting flew across the room, slamming into Laxus, Cana, and Bixlow. Cana's tankard seemed to leap to the front of the bar (she actually threw it) to connect with Natsu's head which then crashed into Gray's skull.

Fairy Tail was brawling when Lucy might be dying for all Cobra knew.

He had no time for this crap.

Stiff-arming his way through the crowd, Cobra collared Wendy and dragged her to the infirmary. The Sky Dragon Slayer yowled like a drowning Exceed the whole way. Lucy was still whimpering in his arms. When they got there, Wendy seemed to have realized what was going on and ordered Cobra to lay Lucy down on one of the infirmary beds.

Then she booted him out, citing 'patient privacy' and 'not being able to work when he hovered'. There may have been a muttered comment about 'fussy, overprotective Dragons since Lucy was probably fine', but he wasn't sure.

Cobra didn't hover. He loitered, thank you.

Okay, it was anxious loitering, but still loitering. Not hovering.

Wendy came out a few minutes later. Cobra was on his feet and next to her instantly. "Is she okay? What was wrong? Will she be alright?" His anxiety got the better of him, hence the word vomit.

Wendy patted the air soothingly. To be honest, she had thought something was seriously wrong with Lucy when Cobra had rushed in, pure terror in his eyes. But after a handful of painkillers, a glass of water, a hug, and a few minutes of conversation with Lucy, it was easy to deduce what was going on. "She's fine, Cobra, and she will be fine. Lucy is just sore, tired, and cross. You kind of upset her the way you were carrying on." Cobra's shoulders slumped with relief. "I'm glad she's okay," he muttered. "But what was wrong?"

Wendy raised an eyebrow. "Couldn't you tell? Lucy's on her period."

Cobra stared at her blankly. Disbelief was written all over his face. "Her period," he repeated. Wendy nodded silently. The Poison Dragon sagged against the wall, all the fight gone out of him. "You're telling me I nearly had a heart attack because of some girl thing that I've known about for years? Great, I feel like an idiot right now. And Lucy probably agrees."

Wendy smiled at him. "No, she thinks you're sweet. If a bit of a dense idiot." Wendy raised her voice over his protests. "You can go see her now." With that, she turned and disappeared back downstairs, no doubt to try and help break up the brawl.

Cobra slipped into the infirmary. Lucy was leaning against the headboard of one of the beds, eyes closed.

"Hey."

"Hey." He sat down next to her, gently lifting a hand. She didn't speak.

"You okay?" A single nod. Cobra toyed with her fingers. "Sorry for freaking out earlier. You really worried me, Bright Eyes." Lucy turned her head to look him in the eye. Amusement, with a bit of lingering pain, blossomed in her deep brown eyes.

"It's okay." She regarded him, a slightly wicked gleam in her eyes. "Besides, it was cute how concerned you were."

"I'm not cute, woman."

"Yes, you are." She tugged his face down toward hers, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. "And I love you for it."

A/N: Mehh... Kind of a lame ending. But it's late and I'm not feeling up to writing a different one.