A/N: Okay so this idea has been floating around in my head since I finished the first installment of my "Odd Couple" series way back. This little spinoff takes place before, during, and a little after "Odd Couple," so you have to read that one to understand this but you don't have to read the four sequels if you don't want to.

I'm not a big fan of OC's in the SB fandom (mine were just throwaway characters to help move my story along), but Tiffany really stuck with me for some odd reason. I wanted to write a little something for her. Title inspired by the song 'Be My Lover' by Alice Cooper because I couldn't come up with one on my own. Go listen to it!

You Better Take Me Home

Chapter 1

"Ditch the leather jacket, straighten out that sea urchin's nest you call hair, and put this on," Tiffany stared in disbelief as her boyfriend(for lack of a better term) ordered her around. He held a golden gown out to her in his tentacle. It was beautiful, though it was not her particular taste in attire.

"Why are you trying to change me," she responded after a moment of dumbfounded silence.

"Do you know how bad it's going to look when I show up with you on my arm looking like that?" Squilliam asked rhetorically while gesturing her current get up. "You've been living here for over a month and you haven't learned an ounce of class. How do you think that's going to make me look?" He held the dress out with more assertion, unibrow furrowed.

"I'm not gonna pretend to be someone I'm not, Squilliam," Tiffany said sternly. Her fins rose to her hips to prove she was not about to be swayed. With an annoyed sigh the wealthy octopus wiped his face with his tentacle, setting the dress down on his supposed girlfriend's bed. They had been in her room, arguing over this for the past ten minutes.

"Listen Tiff," he said after his temper had simmered down. "It's just for this one evening. I swear I'm not trying to change you, at least not here in my own home." He took her hands and kissed the backs of each of them. "Do this for me and I promise I'll go to that concert with you next weekend. Just reserve yourself for one night. No black leather, no drag racing, and no heavy metal." After that he pulled her into his arms, trying to sweet talk her into doing this.

He cared deeply for her, though sometimes she could be embarassing. She was definitely not the type of girl he would bring home to his parents, but the kind he could have a small love affair with. The typical story of 'rich man sweeps a poor girl off her feet and carries her off to his castle,' or in his case, mansion.

Tiffany allowed herself to be smothered into the maroon robe, inhaling his intoxicating scent. She let her eyes close and embraced him as well. Too exhausted to argue anymore, and elated that he would attend the concert, she agreed.

"Fine, but swear you'll go to the concert with me?"

"Cross my heart," Squilliam promised and lightly pushed her away. "Now, I need you to act like you're high class. Let me do most of the talking, and maybe dumb it down a bit. Make me look good, okay?" Tiffany ran a fin through her thick, blonde hair.

"Fine," she sighed. "I guess those acting lessons will finally pay off.

"That's the spirit," he lightly tapped her nonexistant nose then nearly skipped out of the room. "Be ready in an hour."

Groaning, the female fish flopped down, face-first on the fancy bed that came with the fancy room. She wasn't quite sure how long this would last. She had left college, so it was about time to start doing something with her life. She couldn't just live off of Squilliam forever. Of course she loved him, but she needed to be able to support herself.

Love. Such a powerful word, however she had yet to use it. The same went for him.

They had been in this sort of relationship for about a week after she had moved in. And what a strange relationship it was. Squilliam liked to keep it on the down low. It was complicated, but they knew their feelings for one another even though they lacked the courage to voice them.

As she lay on the bed, her own thoughts trapped her in a haze of rememberance.

...

Six Weeks Earlier

The fish with the hot pink scales ran as fast as her fins would carry her. An unexpected nap had caused her to be late for the required seminar. Her leather boots clunked on the sidewalk while bubbles followed. She pushed past the other students who were in her way, apologizing as she did so.

"Almost there..." she was about to round a corner when her body slammed into another pedestrian, both falling to the ground.

"Watch where you're going!" The angry octopus said as he picked himself up.

"Sorry," Tiffany apologized half-heartedly after she stood up and picked up her bag. "I was running late..."

"Hmmm..." the cephalopod eyed her up and down. Clad in black leather and a band t-shirt, and the most unruly hair he'd ever seen. "Why am I not surprised," he said with an air of superiority. Tiffany's mouth hung open in offense.

"So you just assume I'm up to no good?"

"Yes I do, now if you'll excuse me, I have something important to attend to. I don't associate with your kind." With that the fancy octopus, with his nose literally in the air, walked away.

"What exactly is my kind?" Tiffany shouted after him in mild rage. Judgement was something she had to deal with quite frequently, so she didn't let it get to her too deeply. The cephalopod kept walking away, suction cups popping on the cement path. "You don't have to be so stuck up!"

"The eighties called, they want their clothes back!" he yelled back at her without turning around.

"The jerk who came up with that joke called, he wants it back!" the pink fish snapped. Like she hadn't heard that one before. She gave up with a growl and glanced at the clock tower on campus. "Barnacles, now I'm really late!" She took off for her destination once again.

Once she finally arrived, she was surprised to find the unibrowed octopus she had run into was at the podium. Confused, she turned to the fish sitting next to her.

"That's Squilliam Fancyson?" she asked.

"Sure is," the fish replied. "One can only hope to be as successful as him."

One of her music class requirements was to attend a seminar with special guest Squilliam Fancyson. He was to share how to succeed in the music business. Tiffany couldn't believe she had run into him and found him to be a complete snob. She fought off telling her neighboring admirer.

Perhaps she shouldn't be so judgemental, that was something she hated. Maybe he was just having a bad day. But by the looks of it, this Fancyson fellow had no qualms against bragging about his achievements. She knew he was pretty famous in Bikini Bottom and that he was a musician, but that was the extent of her knowledge. She didn't care much for classical music anyway, however she did appreciate it.

Her music genre of choice was heavy metal. She came to this university taking a major in the performing arts. She'd hoped to form a band by the time she graduated, but complications arose and she couldn't keep any together. Now she really had no inkling of what she wanted to do once she graduated. She'd thought about just running away from this small town. Take her guitar and head for the big city where nobody knows her. To find her own band. To get a fresh start in life.

While that sounded nice in theory, reality would come to kick her while she was down.

...

Bags in fins, guitar case slung across her back, and tears streaming down her face. Tiffany walked away from a better chance at life. Forced to drop out because only the wealthy could live their dreams while hers was just out of reach. Drowning in debt.

She sat on the bench at the bus stop, waiting for the bus to take her... well anywhere. She had no where to go. Her parents had kicked her out when she was sixteen. She had lived with a boyfriend until she went to college then they broke up because of it. This campus was literally her home for the past three years. During summer break, she would take any run down apartment she could find.

Wiping her tears away, she pulled herself together. Now should be her chance to start anew. Get as far away from here as possible, work hard and achieve her dreams! Her growling stomach snapped her back into reality.

Go to a city you don't know with no money for an apartment she thought. She'd just lost her job and she currently had five dollars in her pocket. Sighing, she placed her guitar case on the sidewalk and propped it open. Then taking out some paper and a marker, she wrote For Sale and taped it on.

This was the last thing she wanted to do, but she needed to eat and hopefully she could get enough money to at least put a down payment on an apartment in town. Then she could find another job and slowly pay back her student loans.

"Who would want that thing?" a familiar voice sounded next to her. Turning her head, she found none other than Squilliam Fancyson standing there with a small group of followers.

"Someone cool," she retorted with an involuntary sniffle.

"Why in Neptune's name are you crying? You should be happy to be rid of that. Do yourself a favor and drop the whole rock 'n' roll lifestyle. You won't achieve anything with it." The followers made noises of agreement. Enraged, Tiffany jumped to her feet.

"Like you'd know anything about real achievements!" she yelled while stabbing a finger in his chest. The octopus appeared disgusted that she had touched him while the others gasped in shock. "You were probably born with a silver spoon in your mouth while my parents and I have struggled our entire lives! I've had to quit school 'cause I can't afford it and now I have to sell the only thing I have left just so I can find some dump to live in! So yeah, this 'rock 'n' roll lifestyle' is all I have now!"

Then to her embarrassment she burst into tears and plopped back down on the bench with her fins over her eyes. Squilliam's posse began whispering to him.

"That poor girl. Maybe you should do something," a female fish said to him. "Like offer some money." He merely scoffed.

"She doesn't deserve it," a male fish on his other side responded. "She's a trouble maker. That money will not be used for good. She's in this situation because she brought it on herself." Squilliam nodded in agreement.

"Maybe you should offer her a place to stay," someone suggested.

"And why should I?" Squilliam inquired.

"Your right, she can't be trusted in his house," someone agreed with the octopus.

"Well, it could be good for his image," said the female fish. Squilliam's ears perked up at that. Squilliam the Humanitarian. He liked the sound of that but still, what would people think of him just letting trash into his house?

"I would, but it's just too risky..." Before the snobby octopus knew it he was surrounded by paparazzi.

"What's that? Squilliam Fancyson would leave someone in need to suffer?" a reporter shoved a microphone into his face.

"Uh..." he sweated under pressure. Of course being famous had its ups and downs. The one time he desired no attention. "You see..."

"Are you going to help her, or leave her to her cruel fate," the reporter asked with over dramatization in her voice. Anything to make Fancyson look bad; they lived for this kind of thing. Tiffany snapped her tear stained face up upon the paparazzi's arrival and they bombarded her with questions. Lights from the cameras flashed into her eyes, nearly blinding her.

"Are you homeless, ma'am?"

"No comment," Tiffany asserted, feeling overwhelmed by all of this.

Squilliam wasn't sure what to do. If he said 'no' the press would destroy him and he could never get his reputation back. Taking a huge gulp, he stepped over to the fish woman on the bench and sat next to her. He was about to put on a good show.

"Oh, you poor thing," Squilliam said with false sympathy. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, she recoiled and pushed him away. "Of course you can come stay at my big fancy mansion until you get back up on your feet."

"What?" Tiffany questioned in befuddlement, eye brows furrowing.

"You heard me right, child," he continued, then said off to the cameraman: "Are you getting my good side?"

"No, I mean what the heck are you doing? I thought you didn't associate with my kind."

"I never said that," Squilliam nervously chuckled. He bent to whisper into her ear. "Just play along Nikki Fish Stixx. I'll explain later." Tiffany continued to stare, still unsure of what he was doing. "Ham it up please!" He ordered.

"Um... Oh, thank you kind sir!" she faked enthusiasm. "I am ever so grateful!" More flashes and there were murmurs and cheers in the crowd.

"Would someone care to help her with her bags?" The cephalopod called over to his limo driver who happened to be in the crowd of lackies. The driver came forward and carried her bags and guitar case to Squilliam's limo. Then Squilliam took her hand and guided her to the vehicle. Tiffany was sure she looked like a sea cow in headlights in all of those pictures.

"That Fancyson is such a good person," one of the lackies sniffled.

The driver opened the door and the two got in, sitting side by side in the back. Tiffany was amazed by the size. What a day this was turning out to be; she couldn't believe what was happening. The driver climbed in and they drove off with the crowd cheering behind them.

"I've never been in a limo before."

"Shocker," the snob replied. Tiffany frowned.

"Why are you doing this?"

"For my image," Squilliam answered bluntly. Some how, the pink fish wasn't so surprised. "Now listen. As soon as we get back to my place, I'll let you have one meal and then you're out, understood?"

"Fine," she said without emotion. She knew this was too good to be true. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of her disappointment. It's not like she wanted to live with some rich elitist anyway.

They drove on and on into the sunset, quiet the rest of the way. They could practically feel each others' coldness as they turned as far away as possible from one another.

At long last they arrived and it didn't come as a surprise to Squilliam that a few of the paparazzi had followed them. So he climbed out first after the driver opened the door, then he held out his tentacle for the fish woman. She reluctantly took it and stepped out to gaze upon the Fancyson Manor.

A/N: I hope that wasn't too boring. I promise the story will pick up as it gets going and hopefully it will get funnier. Please review and if anyone can guess the Nikki Fish Stixx reference, you are awesome!