Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray -Man

Words: 6,503

Summary: (Prompt for DGM OT4 Week 2015, Sept. 13: Light/Dark); When the world's darkness threatened to drag down one of them, the other three acted as lights to pull the person right back up.

Warning: language, war, and mentions of gore, blood, and death (which is kind of expected out of the DGM sereis).

(Note: As there is no definite timeline in the DGM manga-or series in general-I often think that the time period is 1860. This fic takes places four years after that, in 1864. The War is still going on.)

(Also, to all those who are still reading my Special Bonds fic, it is still continuing! I already have several pages of the next chapter already written! Thank you all for your patience!)

Chapter: 1) Lights in the Darkness

Sometimes in their line of work, it was hard to look at the brighter side of things, what with all the dark and gruesome experiences that had happened. They couldn't keep the people in the science division and Komui from worrying, neither could they keep up a facade any longer around the other exorcists. Any questions were given with rehearsed answers or silence, depending on how the day was going. They couldn't give Jerry a good answer on why they weren't eating as much, Allen in particular.

For Allen, it was difficult to keep up his polite and friendly exterior the more and more this war raged on. This supposed 'Holy War' he scoffed to himself. The word 'Noah' was often spat at him as a slur, not matter how much he protested he was not one. A smile was hard to keep pinned to his face in the presence of others filled with hatred. That was actually one of Allen's lesser problems.

Level Fours were becoming more and more common as the Earl was trying to change the tides. Allen tried his best to end battles with the Level Fours as quick as possible in order not to be around them any longer than was required. There were times, though, that battles between the two factions would last longer than he wished, causing the souls of the miserable to be practically burned into his memory. The mangled morass of struggling and agonized souls that were contained in the Level Fours were always too much for Allen, no matter how many times he saw them. The essences of women, children, and men looked melted together as they bubbled and writhed around, as if the Akuma was a pot and the souls were part of an acrid, churning soup. His eye not only granted him the power to see the souls, but also cursed him to hear their voices. The mix of children crying for parents, as they ruptured out the mouths of the adults...some adults screaming and clawing at themselves as another soul bubbled and emerged from their sides...the hysterical laughing of these new souls that couldn't process what had happened to them...All the meanwhile, every soul wanting to reach and grab towards Allen, their only hope for salvation from their damned hell, "Help us, Allen Walker"... (1)

...Allen lurched awake, rolling out of bed and dashing towards the bathroom that was conjoined to the large room. Bile burned his throat and mouth as he heaved over the porcelain toilet, clutching to the rim with shaking, dual-colored hands. Get it the hell together, Allen, he chided himself, You're here with the others, not on the battlefield.

During the nights, it was hard to distinguish the separation, though.

It's okay, nephew, a melodic tenor rang through his head as he felt his hair being brushed out of his clammy face by an invisible. You're alright.

The twenty year-old exorcist sighed as he flushed the toilet and slumped to the side, leaning against the tiled wall. Thank you, Uncle, he responded through a tired mind. Go back to sleep. A flare of irritation that was not his own clued him into Neah's displeasure. Really, Neah, I'm fine. I'm just...tired is all. You need rest, too.

Allen, I've slept for decades. One night won't kill me. I am your uncle, and I do not leave my family in such a state of disarray. The family he liked, Allen knew he meant. The other Noah were a different matter entirely. You may have the others, but do not forget that I am here for you as well.

"Allen?" he heard a female voice from behind him ask.

Speak of the Devil-or should I say Devils? I'll let you have you time with them, dear boy.

Thanks, Neah, he sent a pulse of gratitude toward the man residing in his head.

He lifted up his head and opened his eyes, seeing Lenalee standing in her pink nightgown at the door. Kanda and Lavi were right next to her, in their own pajamas. Kanda with only some loose black pants and Lavi with a simple sleeveless white shirt and light blue shorts. Allen didn't even try for a smile. "I'm sorry if I woke you guys up," he said as he winced, the acid had irritated his throat. They were just as tired as he was; he had no business ruining the sleep of others.

Kanda rolled his eyes as he walked into the bathroom, flipping the toilet lid down and sitting on it. "Baka Moyashi, you think we weren't gonna help you?"

Lenalee kneeled in front of him, dabbing a wash cloth she had grabbed on her way in against his still clammy face. He saw her take assessment of his weariness. "You haven't been sleeping, have you?"

"Don't lie, either," Lavi input as he sat next to Allen on the floor.

Allen didn't answer for several long moments, trying to find the right answer. "Do you ever just want to stop?" he asked, seemingly out of the blue.

Lavi blinked and Kanda raised an eyebrow. Lenalee had a small from on her face. "What do you mean?"

He sighed again, and dear Lord did he feel tired in more ways than one. "Do you ever just want to stop?" he repeated himself, but then it just all came flooding out. "I feel fine and not fine at the same time. I feel tired, but have the need to do something as well-like, like my body and eye require me to go fight. I feel like I'm wading through a river of destruction from this fucking war. And, and sometimes I feel like nothing I do will ever help!" He gripped his hair in a tight-knuckled grip in his hands. "A lot of the other Order members are wary of me because they think I'm a Noah, and the Earl-personally -wants me either dead or...or I don't know what. Sometimes I don't think I can keep bloody fighting the Akuma b-because their souls-oh my God, the souls-and a-a-and I-"

He was cut off from his rant when Lenalee and Lavi suddenly latched on to him in a tight embrace, and wow, I feel lightheaded. He didn't realize he was shaking. Kanda had gently taken Allen's head and rested it on his knee, fingers stroking through white hair. "Don't forget to breathe, Moyashi. We don't need you passing out."

"You don't always have to be strong, Al," Lavi murmured against the black skin of his Innocence arm. His lips pecked the dart-like ringed points that were tattooed to Allen's skin. "No one is strong one-hundred percent of the time."

Lenalee pressed a kiss to his forehead, right on his pentacle scar. "Lavi's right, Allen. We're here for you, always. We'll be there when you can't go on, when you can't keep walking anymore." They were aware of the promise he had made to his adoptive father, Mana. He had told them about it a long time ago.

Kanda leaned down and rested his forehead against the side of Allen's head. "The other people are fucking idiots. They obviously don't know the difference between and Noah and an exorcist. Blind." His raven hair was out of its ponytail, causing it to spill like ink over the three of them, surrounding them in the scent of jasmine.

"We're here." Lavi hugged him tighter.

Allen inhaled a shaky breath, grounding himself in the collective warmth of an additional three bodies, and the scents of Kanda's jasmine and green tea, Lenalee's lavender and coffee, and Lavi's parchment and smoke. They were the lights that guided him out the world's darkness. The darkness of the world too frequently felt like thick, pungent tar that weighed him down, heavy with blood, bones, and destruction. They were the lights that pulled him out of the muck, like strong angels, and gave him the strength to walk again.

He whispered an inaudible, "Thank you," as he couldn't prevent the tears from falling from his mercury eyes.

Komui found them like that, hours later, all sleeping huddled in a corner of the bathroom of Kanda's room.

He hadn't said anything, but instead let them sleep.

In all the years the Lavi had been a Bookman, he had been witness to the horrors of humanity. The wars that broke out from country to country, and the violence that raged at the borders. Blood was, unfortunately, a common sight for him, even to this day. Human wrath, greed, and rage often ended with bloodshed. Raping and pillaging was also another common occurrence that he recorded, and it only reminded him of the awful, disgusting nature of humans. Lives of the elderly or children were never spared, neither were the ill. In fact, they often became prime targets for unsavory individuals.

As he and the other three exorcists walked the wet and dirty roads of Venezuela, the twenty-three year-old Bookman looked ahead with emotionless eyes. Even though the Federal War in Venezuela had ended a year ago, the country was still ravaged and in disarray. (2) The road they were on was less of a road and more of a dirt path, leading to their destination. They had been walking in the heavy rain for over a half hour, and they were all drenched and dirty with mud. But, he preferred these conditions to some of the people of this country. An image of a homeless man and child, both in inadequate clothing-more like rags-for this kind of weather. Their skeletons could practically be seen through their thin skin as they reached weak, bony hands toward the exorcists.

Allen had given them the crackers in his travel pack, the only food he had other than an apple. He got discouraged when he did not have enough food to help the other forty-nine starving homeless people the grouped had passed on the road.

Bless him, the red-haired man thought.

Unfortunately, Lavi was too familiar with the sight of the suffering, homeless, and hungry.

Lenalee had shed a few tears as she took in the state of the country. Lavi felt bad for her, because no matter how many war-torn countries he knew she visited, this stuff always bothered her. Like Allen, she cared too much and too strongly.

That hadn't stop her from saving two women from being raped in an alleyway about ten minutes ago. No one said anything when she had broken the jaws and shins of the attackers with her kicks. Kanda had just held her shaking hand.

Kanda, Lavi surmised, was blessed by his indifference to most other people who weren't any of the three exorcists. The only people Kanda had bothered sparing a glance during this entire trip were two wounded twin boys, both with raven hair like his. One boy had straight hair cropped to his shoulders and had been holding the smaller boy with his one arm. The other arm had been a stump. The other boy, with thick eyebrows, shaggy hair that stuck up in the back, and deep scar the gouged his cheeks and bridged across his nose, hadn't seen them due to having his face buried in the other's chest. The second boy had stumps for legs, ending right under his pelvis. Both had other wounds that were open and festering, which had attracted flies. Kanda had frozen at the sight, but hurried to give the two boys some currency and food. The swipe of a short knife had been easy to dodge as he quickly moved away from them and practically sprinted in front of the other three exorcists.

Allen had taken one of the shaking fists that Kanda had crammed in his jacket pockets into his own gloved hand. He had whispered words, which Lavi hadn't been able to make out due to the down pour, to Kanda that seemed to somewhat help.

The samurai normally wasn't so bothered by things like that. Lavi and the other two would talk to Kanda on the way back home.

"Lavi?"

The man in mention looked at Allen, who still had Kanda's hand in his. "What is it, Allen?"

The youngest of the group frowned. "I feel like we should have been there by now. What did the map say?"

Edict memory allowed him to have the thing completely memorized. "We're actually just about five minutes away." He pointed to the corner of a stone building with the ceiling and upper corner blown off-most likely from canon fire. "The map said this was the former post office of the town here. Komui's intel said the kid lives a quarter mile left of the post office. He lives in a little ghetto that only has a few families inhabiting it." Let's just hurry and leave. Lavi didn't want to continue to trudge through the literally muddy and dirty repercussions of human conflict any longer than he needed to. A sensation almost like a rumble in the back of his mind warned him to keep himself in check. Deak was always lurking in the corners of his mind. That personality never truly had disappeared as he should have like the others.

Lavi let Allen and Lenalee run ahead of him, as they were very eager to meet the new accommodator. They had gotten word about two weeks ago of a very young accommodator, about Timothy's age when he had first entered the Order, who lived in the remains of a Venezuelan ghetto. He lived there with his mother; father had died in the war. The boy's Innocence had taken the form of a soccer ball, very similar to the late Daisya Barry's Charity Bell.

Sooner than expected, they arrived at the ghetto. Thunder boomed above them, visibly rattling the few window panes that remained in the dilapidated buildings. Lavi counted only two out of the five buildings to be fully intact; the others had floors, entire walls, and even entire sections missing, all the rubble gathering around them. The heavy rain didn't help clean the area, but instead made the mire of muck and human waste mix together into a disgusting slew that squished under their boots. Lavi was eternally grateful that their uniforms were made of such good quality. He would thank Johnny when they got back home.

"This weather's shit. Let's hurry the fuck up so we can leave."

The younger two of the group agreed to Kanda's statement.

Even though the rain beat down around them and thunder constantly rumbled above head, Lavi was suspicious as to why he heard no human activity. There were no dogs barking, no children crying, and no people scavenging through debris. In addition, they didn't even see anyone either. Not one soul.

Lenalee's lips pulled down in a frown. "I thought there were a few families living here. I don't see anyone."

From the corner of his eye, Lavi saw Allen squint his eyes in the direction of the right side of the smallest building. "I think...I think I see someone there, sitting under that sandbox tree." Indeed, Lavi did see a lump akin to a human form huddled under the tree's cover from the rain. The person wasn't moving; however, it was expected in this kind of weather.

"I'll go check it out," Lavi said. "You guys go look around." Without waiting for anyone's reply, Lavi trudged forward, ignoring the pungent smell that seemed to grow stronger and stronger with every step. The source of the disgusting smell was finally clear when Lavi got to the tree, and he could not stop himself from reeling back, hunching behind a large boulder to retch. Dammit all to hell. He had found the little accommodator they were looking for. Well, accommodator no more. The body, and Lavi was being generous in that description, was sliced in two, revealing snapped bones and rotting internal organs. There was dark blood splashed all over the tree's pointy bark and the rubble of the surrounding area. The face was no longer recognizable, but Lavi could still see traces of curly brown hair. Shakily standing himself upright, he scanned the immediate area, taking note of the large and small craters that peppered the buildings and ground-Akuma bullets-and the gray ash that swirled and mixed in the rain with the mire underfoot. There was no sign of the soccer ball Innocence anywhere.

The ghetto had been completely wiped out, and not one person had stood a chance. Not even this nine year old boy with the Innocence.

The red-haired man heard voices approaching behind him, but paid them not mind.

The longer he looked at the decaying corpse, the more he felt disgust for the War and for humanity in general. Humans and their greed, rage, and selfishness cause suffering and conflict. Conflict led to war fueled by flawed people, leaving destruction, hunger, disease, and death in their wake. This Bookman had seen many a corpse and mutilated body in his years, but that did not make seeing another one any easier. And if there was no Holy War-here he couldn't hold back the sneer that crossed his face thinking, there are no wars that are Holy-this kid, who did not even live through an entire decade, would have survived.

"Lavi?" a female voice tried.

Humans were the root of all evil. Deak was right.

He heard a deep, male voice this time. "Usagi?"

A tenor similar to his own. "Lavi?"

Humans were-

-he clutched his head when he felt someone smack the back of it. He looked over his shoulder, not turning his body. "What?" he asked flatly, still blocking the mess in front of him.

The raven-haired samurai frowned at him, narrow eyes flicking from him to whatever was behind him. "We've been calling you for the past couple of minutes, Usagi. I thought rabbits were supposed to have excellent hearing or something."

"Are you alright, Lavi?" Allen asked, worry clear on his face as he took a step forward.

The Bookman's blank expression only changed slightly as a frown became prominent. "I hate humanity," he said with an incredible blank tone, staring down at the mud. "Humans are such terrible creatures."

"L-Lavi?" Lenalee put a hand on his cheek, and lifted his head in order to make contact with those beautiful violet eyes. "Why...Are you slipping again?" He figured that she took his empty stare as an answer. She grasped him as a tight embrace as she held his head on her shoulder. "Please come back Lavi." For the past several years, 'Lavi' had the tendency to slip back into his original Bookman personality. Similar to Allen's struggle with his drive to keep walking, the red-haired man had trouble keeping faith in the lighter side of humanity. Their career didn't really help him with it either.

Why were his knees shaking? Why did he feel so tired? As if his body decided to take a vacation, his knees gave from under him, sending him kneeling in the disgusting muck below. Lenalee was still attached to his shoulders. The cold that raced through his veins and chilled his skin had nothing to do with the torrential rain the was pouring on them. The sky was dark with churning black clouds, but that wasn't the reason why the world felt so dark to him.

He felt two other presences around him, and he lifted up his head in order to see Allen kneeling next to Lenalee and Kanda kneel on one knee beside the Bookman. Allen took his the red-head's limp hand and Kanda leaned against his right left side. The downpour didn't prevent him from leeching the warmth from their bodies, thankfully-especially from Allen and Kanda, who's body temperatures were higher than average. They were warm and comforting, like candle flames illuminated the room of a late-night study session.

They didn't comment on the mess of a person behind him, or the fact that they were all kneeling in a slew of mud and human waste. They didn't say anything about his stuttered breaths as he tried to calm himself, or the fact that he barely had the energy to pick himself up. It took a while but Lavi finally dredged a bit of vigor to lift his arms to clutch at them. "...Thank you," he rasped.

When they got back to the Order, they quickly turned in their reports and practically heaved Lavi into Kanda's General-level quarters. After bathing, in the Japanese man's large bed, they wrapped themselves and Lavi and a cozy blanket as they held on to him. Four different kinds of steaming tea were not far out of reach on the bedside table. Lavi felt a little lighter than he had in Venezuela.

No matter if the rest of humanity dragged itself into the darkness of ruin, destroying themselves and others on the way down...he was confident in the fact that the three humans alongside him were different. These humans were above the rest, lighting the way when he could not find it himself.

He was so grateful to have them, minor flaws and all.

This was complete and utter bullshit.

It had to be.

This couldn't be happening again. Not again.

At the current moment, Kanda was in the Order's training room, hacking and slashing his anger and frustrations on the ninth practice dummy in a row. Another slash of Mugen decapitated the dummy. Make that ten. I wish I could do that to that damn Leverrier bastard. God, Kanda just wanted to scream. And kill something-or rather someone.

He, Allen, Lavi and Lenalee had been in the dining hall earlier, just having finished up a mission in France to get rid of some Akuma. They had been making mild conversation, mostly between Lenalee and Lavi, since Kanda didn't really feel like contributing and Allen had been stuffing his face with food. It had been relatively calm, until Leverrier had made his presence known in the front of the hall. Lavi had quickly escorted Lenalee somewhere else, which relieved Kanda because she didn't deserve to be around that bastard any longer than she had to. Allen had stayed, wary of the sudden appearance of the Inspector.

The sudden appearance of the Inspector had never meant anything good.

"I won't stay long as I have other things to take care of," he had said with that stupid 'polite' smile on his face. "I only need to speak with Yuu Kanda." The 'only' was directed with Allen who stubbornly as usual wanted to defy orders. Kanda had gave him a look, expressing that he would be fine. Other than the fact he wanted to kick the man for calling him by his given name.

After Allen had grudgingly left, Leverrier had walked closer to Kanda. "I have some buisness to discuss with you, Mr. Kanda. It'll only take a moment, rest assured." Rest assured, my ass, he had thought.

"What is it?" He had grumbled out with crossed arms. He hated being around this man.

"I'm going to be frank and I'm not going to sugar coat things." The older man's smile had been as sharp as a blade and as vicious as a snake. "I am personally funding the revival of the Secord Exorcist project, and I already have three candidates in mind. I'm sure you know them. The Third Exorcist project had too many flaws, what with the Akuma influence, but you are a living example..."

Kanda vaguely remembered freezing in place, only hearing the first part of what the Inspector said. His shock had drowned out the last part. He remembered yelling something before storming out the dining hall and making his way here to the training room.

Another slash, another vivisected dummy. Don't people ever fucking learn?! The aim of his follow up jab had been off, which made Kanda realize that his hands were shaking. Leverrier had talked about three candidates he knew, and Kanda felt like throwing up. Alma already suffered...I can't lose them either. He lost himself of a whirlwind of swipes, jabs, and stabs, going faster and faster with each attack. Rage and fear powered his muscles, causing him to inadvertently activate Mugen, who was ringing with her own anger of the situation. I'm not going to let anyone touch them. I'll fucking kill anyone if I have to because thiscan'thappenagainnotagain-

-A touch to his shoulder caused him to whirl around and blindly strike out. Sparks flew when Mugen connected with metallic claws, and Kanda snarled. "Kanda?!"

He twisted around the person, going for a vulnerable back. They sent people after me?! They're not dragging me back to that hell hole. The long handle of an Innocence weapon blocked his strike to the first person's back. "Kanda, snap out of it!"

"It's us, Kanda!"

I have to get to Lenalee, Lavi, and Allen. He summoned his Netherworld Insects and sent them flying at the attackers. We gotta get out of here. "Kanda!" He was going to kill these-

-Something barreled into his back and sent him careening to the hard ground. Impossibly heavy, armored boots pinned his legs and olive hair filled his vision. "Kanda, it's us! Please stop, it's us." Thin arms hugged his neck and shoulders, and the scent of lavender was very prominent. "Yuu..."

Kanda was breathing heavily and it took several moments to focus. The hell...? "Lenalee...? What?"

Confident that Kanda was going to go ballistic again, Lenalee got off his back and sat next to him. Kanda propped himself up, sitting crossed legged. He saw Allen and Lavi sit next to her. Where did they come from? "What happened, Kanda?" Lavi asked. "We heard you yell in the dining hall."

"It was the Inspector, wasn't it?" Allen frowned, nudging his knee into Kanda's.

Kanda growled and gnashed his teeth together as he held his head in his hands. He must not have realized that his hair tie had broken earlier because his hair was curtaining his face. "People never fucking learn." His tone was vitriolic, deadly as a cobra.

Lenalee wrung her hands together. "I..I don't understand." She placed her hand on the knee that wasn't being bumped by Allen's. "Did...he do something to you?"

"Ugh no, not me dammit," he shook his head. He didn't want to explain this. "They're starting it all over again."

"They, who?"

"Starting what?"

More and more questions were aimed at the long-haired twenty-three year old before he could even finish answering even one. Frustration built in him like a lava in a volcano until he could no longer take it. "Leverrier is restarting the damn Second Exorcist project and he's going to use you all as experiments!" He pressed his face deeper into his palms to try and prevent the tears that were burning his eyes from escaping. (3)

The room was silent other than their shocked breathing and his heavy, unsteady breathing. Fucking hate these stupid emotions. A hand with purple painted nails grabbed his left while a black, segmented hand grabbed his right. He raised his head just enough to see Lavi had moved behind them and had his hands on the other two's shoulders. Kanda shook his head, "I can't...I just can't..."

Images of Alma and the labs flashed through his mind. Blood and screaming overlaid all the images, and his mind's eye conjured limbs everywhere. Healing was a bitch when he and Alma had to regenerate limbs. He sucked in a harsh breath, and he would deny it to his dying day that his voice wavered and cracked. "I already lost Alma...I can't lose you guys. ...Can't let that happen to you..." The tears that he had been desperately holding in fell, one by one, on the floor.

"Oh, Kanda," Allen's mercury eyes became wet as he let go of Kanda's hand and latched on to the older man. Two more sets of arms encircled them, and his body felt itself relaxing automatically. "We're not going to end up like Alma. We'll...we'll run away before that happens!"

Lavi kissed Kanda on the forehead and brushed the tears away. "Yeah, Yuu," Kanda couldn't find it in himself to be annoyed by the usage of his given name. Not by any of them. "No one is gonna separate us."

"And Komui would make sure this wouldn't happen. And even if it was, he would make sure we would have enough resources to escape somewhere!" Lenalee added.

He felt Allen nod against his collarbone. "Yeah! And I don't give a damn what Central says about me. I wouldn't hesitate to use the Ark." A beat passed. "And Neah said he would slaughter anyone who tried to get in our way."

With every reassurance, Kanda felt the dark world become brighter and brighter. He held on to them tighter, willing every force in the universe to keep them safe.

He was even more relieved when they left the training room that Komui and the other branch heads had denied Leverrier's plan for the Second Exorcist project.

Later that night, Lavi, Lenalee, and Allen never let him go.

Lenalee's happiness and joy came from the people around her. To be more clear, her world was pieced together like a puzzle through said people. Even though she cared for many individuals in the Order, there were a handful hat she could not live without. Her brother first and foremost, and her three boyfriends immediately after.

Throughout her years as an exorcist, she has had many scares and close calls to losing the people she really cared about. Allen when he was on the run from Central's unjust claim of heresy, Lavi for the period of time when he was captured by the Noah, and Kanda during his absence after the Alma Karma incident. Even though those three had gone through so much and despite her own fretting, she had been confident that they would be okay. Each man was strong and powerful and could take care of himself. So, even though she was worried, she was not worried, if that made any sense.

Her brother, however, was another story. Komui was strong, but in a different way than her three exorcist boyfriends. He was strong-willed, clever, and admirable-and Lenalee was not boasting, only stating. But for all of his strengths and abilities, Komui was not physically...adept. He might have been tall, but that height did not match muscle. He was a scientist and researcher, his strength gearing towards knowledge and robots. And even though those robots and automatons were powerful in their own right, Lenalee was skeptical that they could protect her brother, and for good reason. She could destroy them quite easily.

She considered herself lucky that Komui had not been heavily injured, like the exorcists usually were, through his long tenure in the Order.

But luck always ran out, sooner or later.

This was why she was sitting in an uncomfortable, straight-backed chair in the infirmary next to a standard cot with her brother lying in it. It had only been a matter of time before their line of work caught up with them. The thing that bothered her the most was that he had gotten injured not through a raid of the Order, not a Noah attack, not a direct hit from the Earl, but from a stray Akuma bullet while walking back from the market. The freaking market. She had been with him, but failed to protect him. A stray bullet had caught him in the left arm.

She had never thought her brother possessing a weak stomach, and that belief was only confirmed when he had not hesitated to slice of his own arm before the black pentacles had encroached further than his elbow. He had passed out shortly after...

Lenalee clenched her hands in her lap. wringing the end of her frilly shirt. It my fault. She bit her lip. I'm an exorcist. I have to protect people from this, and I failed. How can I call myself a proper exorcist when I couldn't even protect my own brother?! Her grip tightened, and her long nails punctured through the thin cloth.

The repetitive beep-beep of the heart monitor was the only reassurance she had that her brother was alive and breathing. But a nasty voice in the back of her mind kept telling her that the beeping could stop any moment, and it would be all her fault. She placed one of her hands on top Komui's only remaining one, reigning in a flinch at the cold temperature of his skin. "I'm so sorry, big brother," she whispered. "Please...please don't leave..." She was desperate. She couldn't lose her brother, not again. Not like she had as a child.

She was even considering praying to the God she hated so very much, as distressed as she was.

"He'll be okay, Lena-lady," a familiar voice sounded from the room's door.

She snapped up her head, surprised that she had heard no one approaching before, seeing Lavi walking in. Allen and Kanda trailed behind him. They patted Komui's shoulder in respect before turning to her. "He's made of tough stuff. He'll be okay."

They don't know that! Komui's not like them! She shook her head as she ducked her chin, olive hair falling around her shoulders. While she normally had good control of her emotions, she could clearly feel the vice-like grip of panic squeezing her lungs and heart. "We don't know that for sure. For all we know, there could still be traces of the virus in his body just waiting to attack him internally." She would not cry.

Lenalee felt too tired and too jaded for being only twenty-one years old.

Allen pulled up another chair to sit next to her. He leaned over and embraced her, and she felt warm. The white-haired man was always warmer than others due to his parasitic Innocence. This gave her some brief comfort. She felt one arm drape on her shoulder and the other on Allen's. Lavi's usual scent of smoke and parchment mixed with Allen's sugar-he ate more sweets than she did. The weight atop her head signaled that Lavi was resting his chin. Kanda squeezed her land, running his calloused thumb along her knuckled before returning the door. He leaned against the door jam, and from his stance she could tell he was keeping watch for anyone that might disturb them-bar nurses.

The olive-haired exorcist nosed herself deeper into Allen's chest. She removed her hand from Komui's, and used both of her hands to clutch onto Lavi's jacketed arm. "He's not like us you know," her voice was practically a whisper, but carried enough for all of them to hear.

"We know," Kanda glanced at her before returning to 'keeping guard'.

She sniffed again. Lavi tightened his embrace, and Allen kissed her forehead. "He's not made for fighting."

"We know," Allen said simply.

The steady beep-beep continued.

"He's not like us. He can't regenerate like you, Kanda, or see Akuma coming his way like you, Allen. He's knowledgeable, but not to a Bookman's standard like you are, Lavi. H-He doesn't have Innocence to p-protect him," her sniffles became very wet and her eyes stung," and he doesn't fight. E-e-even his s-silly Komlin robots aren't m-much good..." She was glad she had her face buried in Allen's chest because the her tears were flowing freely at this point. "...H-He can't die, guys. He can't." If Komui...left, Lenalee was positive her world would fall apart and lose it's luminescence. Same with her precious boys.

But she couldn't think of that now lest she make herself even more upset.

She didn't see her boyfriends share a look, but she did feel Allen standing her up. Confused, she looked up to see him give her a gentle smile before pressing another kiss to her forehead. "I'll be right back," he said before sprinting out the room. She had no idea why he left, but Lavi preoccupied her by wiping away her tears. "He only be gone for a few minutes, Lena-lady, don't worry."

Kanda snorted as he detached himself from the door jam and approached her. "Tch, if he doesn't get lost, that is." Despite her sniffles and tears, a smile quirked on her lips-even though it left as quickly as it came. Those two will never change. The raven-haired man hugged her before sweeping her off her feet, to her surprise. She let out a small shout at the quick change in position, nearly kicking Lavi in the face.

"Sorry, Lavi!" She met Kanda's eyes as he laid her on another cot across from Komui's. "Kanda, what was that for?"

"Hn." He moved another cot to join the one she was laying in before sitting next to her, hip to hip, and she could feel the heat radiating off of him. Like Allen, Kanda always felt like a furnace, which was due to his regenerative and healing abilities. "You need rest, and we weren't going to make you leave."

Lavi bounced on to the adjoining cot, smile wide on his face. "Yuu's-please don't kill me tonight, I'm sorry-right, Lenalee. Siblings gotta stick together, yanno? Komui will be really happy to see you when he wakes up." He grabbed her hand and gave it a brief squeeze after saying, "And he will wake up." The vice gripping her chest loosened a little.

It was at that moment Allen came walking in the room, carrying an incredibly thick folded blanket from Kanda's bed. He climbed into the cot with Lavi before throwing the thick blanket over the four of them. "I came just in time," he said with a smile. "I can tell we're all getting p-pretty t-t-tiiiiired," a yawn punctuated the end of his sentence. Lenalee giggled as Kanda laid her down next to him.

With reassurance that her brother would be okay and her three boyfriends surrounding her, Lenalee felt the dark fog that had been clinging to her for the past few hours disappear. Allen toed her ankle, which made her giggle again, before poking Kanda's leg, prompting him to jerk back his leg in a swift kick towards Allen's shins. Lavi snickered.

A deep breath and Lenalee closed her eyes, snuggling closer to Kanda who drew her closer. Just as she was about to take another relaxing breath, she heard Lavi complain.

"Aww man, the light is too bright. I don't feel like getting uuuup."

"None of us want to get up either, Usagi. We're comfortable."

"I'll take care of it." The familiar energy of Crown Clown resonated through the air. A faint click and the room became much darker, which Lenalee could tell even from behind her closed eyelids.

The room may have been very dark now, but the people she was surrounded with made it that much brighter.

Published: 9/15/2015

A/N: Check out my Tumblr! It's ms-musicl0vertheexorcist

(1) I was drawing inspiration from the Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood anime.

(2) The Federal War was a civil war between Venezuelan Federalists and Centralists. It began in 1859 and ended in 1863. More information: en . wikipedia wiki / Federal _ War

(3) If you guys think that Kanda wouldn't have a reaction similar to this if he found out his friends/significant others were going to be forced through the Second Exorcist project, then I don't know what. He already lost the person he had loved, Alma-twice, actually. And now he was certain that he was about to lose these three? I wouldn't fault him for nearly having a panic attack or something.