Cock Lee

A Naruto crackshot

By

EvilFuzzy9

Rating: WTF

Genre: Humor/Parody

Characters/Pairings: Rock Lee, Tenten, Neji H., M. Guy; [N/A... well, maybe a tiny teasing of one sided LeeTen crushage at the end, but mostly N/A]

Summary: Spandex isn't for everyone. (i.e., I am so immature, you guys. SO immature.)

Tenten stared at the bulge in her teammate's spandex.

Not with any kind of lust or salacious intent, of course, because she was twelve and this wasn't that kind of fic.

But she stared at it regardless, unable to tear her eyes away. It was... well, morbidly fascinating, if kind of revolting and possibly sufficient to constitute some kind of sexual harassment. Possibly.

In Lee's defense, mind, he didn't seem like a flasher or pervert. If anything, from what Tenten knew of the boy, he was honestly rather naive and probably oblivious to how offensive this could be considered.

Probably.

Really, though, if there was anyone to blame in this situation, it was probably Guy. Lee was the same age as herself and Neji, and not very street smart, and ultimately just emulating the way their sensei dressed. He probably didn't get why it was awkward for others when someone like himself (or anyone, really) wore skintight spandex in public.

Guy-sensei should have known better, though. He was a grown man, after all, wasn't he?

While Tenten could somewhat forgive the man's eccentric fashion since he at least didn't look quite so... indecent in it, she felt that he should have realized why it might feel uncomfortable for herself and Neji to be in the same general vicinity as Lee when he was dressed like that.

Heck, Guy gave Lee that monstrosity! He should have been able to take one look at the boy and realize why putting him in spandex would be a terrible idea all around.

But, no. Apparently Guy saw NO PROBLEM with it whatsoever.

Managing to tear her morbidly fascinated gaze away from Lee, Tenten chanced a look in Neji's direction. She was bemused to see the prodigy looking down at himself, then at Lee, then back at himself ad nauseum with an absolutely miserable expression on his face.

His lips were moving, and it sounded like the Hyuuga boy was muttering bitter curses against fate, God, and the Universe in general. Tenten wondered why, musing on the subject for a moment.

Ultimately, she concluded that some guys must just obsess over their size down their the way she'd seen some older girls fuss over their own sizes.

Boys were weird.

Shrugging with this conclusion in her mind, Tenten gave a final, thoughtful look at Lee.

He was now doing squat thrusts.

Her face flashing tomato red and burning with the heat of a thousand suns, Tenten tore her eyes away, feeling dirty, mortified, and certainly not at all secretly a little curiously giddy or pleased.

It was a horribly awkward sight, and definitely not something appropriate for polite company. And she and Neji would both be not-so-secretly grateful when Lee finally thought to get himself a cup later that week.

There may have still been a bulge, but at least then they couldn't see the outline.

A/N: I don't know. The pun "Cock Lee" stuck in my head, and I just couldn't help myself. I'm sorry.

(not really sorry)

XD

Updated: 9-14-15

TTFN and R&R!

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