A/N So… MartintheDragon requested me to write an HT for Steven Universe. Exotos135 beta-edited this, so here's his shout out! R&R
This trailer is rated H for Honest.
From Rebecca Sugar, the woman who's name sounds like a hardcore college drug, comes a show that'll make boys everywhere question their sanity. And finally get stupid feminists to shut up.
Steven Universe!
Over 5000 years ago in ancient Egypt, lived a pharaoh who played a children's card game…
Oops, wrong show!
Over 5000 years ago, in some random field in some random place on earth: weird aliens that had absolutely no inspiration from a children card's game called Yu-Gi-Oh… As long as you don't count the Crystal Beast archetype, every single HERO archetype, the Vylon archetype and especially the Gem-Knight Archetype.
Anyways, a really long time ago, these weird aliens came to invade Earth, but were stopped by Rose Quartz, a really tall woman with long, pink hair, and her army of rebelling gems.
Then watch as that amazing army is just thrown under a rug and forgotten about, except for the last three survivors.
Well, if you wanted to see an exciting battle for Earth, too bad. Instead, follow Rose's son: Steven Universe, as he works to unlock her powers and discover his own as the first human-gem hybrid.
How does that even work? Aren't all gem technically genderless? I'm serious; I want to know how Greg Universe got Rose pregnant with Steven. I know they said Rose shape shifted the necessary bits to give birth to him, but this just raises more questions!
Along for the ride are his three guardians, Garnet- a fusion who can see into the future, Pearl- a girl with self-esteem issues, and Amethyst- a big eater who also has issues.
Follow the last crystal gems on their quests across Earth as they visit: generic forests, generic islands, and generic caves to take on generic monsters that kind if look like animals if you squint really hard and sit two inches away from your TV.
Come on, even though they don't look like animals much, but it's still fun to watch the Crystal Gems fight them. Did I mention that those used to be Gems too? Though you're not supposed to know that unless you watched the show.
Hey! You should have come here knowing that there would be spoilers!
So get ready for a show that deals with: Loss of family members, young romance, war, death, inter-species romance, and how to ignore your mundane father. Huh, and I thought Friendship is Magic, Gravity Falls and Star vs the Forces of Evil were ballsy… they still are!
Starring:
The Crystal Gems- The Mom Squad
Steven- Male Rose Quartz
Pearl- Bird nose
Amethyst- Indiana Jones
Garnet- All problems can be solved with punches
Ruby and Sapphire- The lesbian lovers
Rose Quartz- The mandatory dead family member
Mr. Universe- A washed up rock star whose wife is now technically his son
Connie- Sally Bollywood
Lapis Lazuli- Blue Latias
Peridot- Discount Megaman X
Jasper- Badass Tigger
And all the home world gems- All of your base are belong to us.
In: Rebecca's Sugar Rush, I mean:
Steven Universe.
By the way, am I the only one who thinks that this series has gotten really depressing and sad? I'm a fan of drama, don't get me wrong, but seriously, I'm starting to question how many tears can these characters drop before they run out of them.
19-15-13-5-15-14-5 23-1-19 8-9-7-8 15-14 19-13-9-12-5 4-9-16.
A/N So, tell me what you guys thought of this. Again, I don't know if I'm going to do something like this again, so no promises.
Disclaimer: I'm not a Crystal Gem, but Steven Universe is, and his show belongs to Rebecca Sugar.