Inspired by Swiss Army Knife's universe. I love the father/son relationship between Iruka and Naruto, and I wanted a scene where the Akatsuki used Iruka as bait for the Kyuubi. Itachi got in the way.

It was too easy to snatch the chunin from his team. Occupied with Kisame's samehada and the trivial pursuit of a pointless mission, the Leaf shinobi only noticed their teammate's absence after the Akatsuki had vanished. A flicker of sharingan, a yank at the chunin's collar, a nod to Kisame; the mission was tedious, really. Within five minutes they had captured their quarry. Kisame griped throughout the entire return trip that Samehada was bored.

Itachi almost agreed. The Konoha shinobi were… ludicrously forgetful. Even years after he had left the ANBU, scrolls and completed missions outweighed the safety of comrades. It was a wonder Konoha hadn't handed the Kyuubi over to the Akatsuki by now. Kisame would have less to complain about, and fewer shinobi would be – well, there wouldn't be enough left to tally for dead/not dead, but that was the entire point of Madara's plan.

"Ooh! What is it?" Tobi's hoot heralded a scramble of long sleeves and frizzled hair, before an orange mask shoved into the face of the unconscious Konoha nin. "Have Itachi-san and Kisame-san found the magical shinobi?"

"Keep clear," Kisame growled, shoving him aside. "Where is Pein?"

"Pein-sama is inside!" Tobi said enthusiastically. "Tobi will find him!"

"Erg, fine." Rolling his eyes, Kisame pushed ahead. Dragging the Konoha-nin behind him, he glanced around the gloomy hideout. His eyes settled on Pein and he growled. "We found the sensei. Now what?"

Pein barely spared the chunin a glance, and Itachi agreed. Umino Iruka was insignificant compared to the nine-tails. Ordinary, unskilled, dismissible. Yet even a cricket was valuable if it could tempt a hungry snake. The destruction of Konoha would have lured the boy for sure, but Itachi had convinced Pein that smaller bait would prove less wasteful.

For now.

"Secure him beneath the statue," Pein ordered. He cast Itachi a doubtful glance. "If the nine-tails does not attempt to retrieve him within a week, dispose of the body."

His thoughts were clear: surely this was not the sensei rumored to tame monsters. Dull brown hair and limbs that dragged akimbo, a horizontal scar that only softened his appearance.

You've stolen the village idiot, Pein's glare proclaimed.

Itachi knew better. He had been acquainted with Iruka during his academy years. Recognized his influence on the Kyuubi. There was more behind the ink-flecked fingers and child's marble in the front pocket. One shinobi could have prevented the Kyuubi from tearing Konoha to pieces.

Itachi nodded at Pein. There was no mistake.

Hidan was less convinced. "This is supposed to lure the Kyuubi to us?" he said when he saw the chunin. "Have you lost your freakin' mind?"

More unsavory words spewed forth, and Itachi wondered if he should ensure the Konoha-nin was still unconscious. It wouldn't do for Hidan to murder Iruka over a heated scolding, after all. Teachers of young children tended to be … severe.

"This is Konoha's savior?" Kakuzu said, dumfounded. He looked to Kisame for an explanation, and the shark-man snarled.

"How am I supposed to know? He did the research," Kisame said, jabbing in Itachi's direction. "Move out of the way so I can string this up."

"Un, is that the nine-tails?" Deidara's question was ignored as Kisame growled under his breath. Itachi watched.

Hanging by one's hands, particularly with a wrenched wrist, was bound to be uncomfortable. Perhaps the Konoha-nin would be lucky not to feel his hands within a few hours.

Perhaps he would be lucky to hold a pencil afterwards, given that Kisame was yanking the cords with unusual vengeance.

"Don't kill him," Itachi warned dully. It would be tedious to find another sensei worthy of the Kyuubi's time.

"Why not?" Hidan barked. He appraised the sensei thoroughly, stone-hewn tabernacles and bloody manacles doubtlessly flashing in his mind.

"He's more valuable alive," Itachi said.

"He looks like one of Sasori's pests, un." Unconvinced, Deidara wrinkled his nose.

"Pein gave the orders." Shoving Kakuzu aside before he could attempt an in-depth examination of 'The Monster Tamer's' heart, Kisame shooed the others away. "We wait for the Kyuubi. Hidan, if the nine-tailed brat doesn't show in a week, you can have the prisoner."

Finishing his evaluation of a potential sacrifice, Hidan sighed. "Perhaps it will appease Jashin until a more worthy offering is found."

Kisame rolled his eyes towards Itachi and hissed, "If this is another one of those 'fuzzy misdirections', you will wear the spectacles on our next mission!"

"Hn." What a pity. Itachi must have stepped on them while Kisame was distracting the Konoha-nin away from Iruka.

"You think this is going to work?"

Light hacking, and a grimace of pain. Iruka's glare burrowed into Itachi, even from the opposite end of the cave. The shoddy vest and clumsy face devaluated a fire-willed shinobi. Pein underestimated his enemy.

Clearing his throat, Iruka spoke again. "You think the Kyuubi will come after me. You're wrong."

Itachi did not respond. Chaffing, the chunin continued to dispel the silence with useless words. He seemed to thrive on companionship. He imagined the enemy was still human, even if Hidan threatened to cut out his tongue.

Itachi was the only one who did not react with violence.

If he reacted at all.

"Would you care to know that Sasuke is thriving under Orochimaru's tutelage?" Iruka's question was biting. An accusation.

At last Itachi turned. "You are disappointed in him."

The sensei blinked, doubtlessly surprised that Itachi had spoken at all. His confusion faded and his glower returned. "I graduated him from the academy. He would have made an outstanding shinobi."

He waited for a reply, then asked softly, "Why did you care what happened to him?"

Itachi's left eye closed in a flinch. Iruka was an insightful teacher, yes, but even he could not have known.

The sensei's next words belayed Itachi's uncertainty. "You already killed his parents. You left him alone. Why did you return to Konoha?"

"For the nine-tails." It was simple.

Iruka shook his head, then winced as his shoulder twitched in an excruciating knot. "You … could have rendered Sasuke unconscious," he panted. "Even killed him."

The dark eyes hinted Itachi's fate if he had done so.

"What sick game are you playing?" Iruka spat. "You tortured him and left him watching their deaths."

"Are you appealing to my sense of compassion?" Itachi noted.

"I was there after his parents were murdered!" The fire in Iruka's eyes had roared into a maelstrom. "I held him when he asked why he was too weak for you to care! I taught him when his only desire was to kill you. I thought Kakashi had finally given him another reason to live. Until you took that away."

The harsh rebuke was almost unnerving.

"Hn."

Smoothly Itachi rose and left the room. It was time he exchanged his watch with Konan.

If he was supposed to have woken Hidan instead…

It was only because they needed the sensei alive a short while longer.

When the Kyuubi did arrive, it was not in a charge of flaming chakra and shinobi armies as Itachi had expected. One lone genin had broken away from his team, sneaking into the heart of enemy territory.

When Itachi saw the boy, the glaring uniform unmistakable even years after he had encroached Konoha, he was …

Startled.

A slash of a kunai and a groan from Iruka, and with protective gentleness the jinchuriki supported his teacher. "I've got you, Sensei."

Malice radiated from the quivering, orange-clad shoulders, yet the Kyuubi did not break free.

Unexpected.

A clack of sandals heralded Itachi's approached, and Naruto's face twisted into a feral snarl. "Stay back, you!"

Predictable. The emotions of a jinchuriki always overrode caution. Strange that he would rise to the defense of this unremarkable shinobi.

Itachi had guessed right.

"I'm warning you!" Naruto growled as the Akatsuki continued his approach. He set Iruka down and stepped before him, kunai steady in his white-knuckled hand.

"You cannot defend him and apprehend me," Itachi said sensibly. "Surrender yourself, or my partner will slay your comrade." A lie – Kisame was still asleep on the other side of the hideout – but the alarms could be triggered instantly.

"You're not going near him." Fiercely defensive; even while Iruka weakly waved him down. Naruto's scowl intensified. "What did you do to him?"

Do? Itachi raised one eyebrow. Any shinobi who had been suspended by his hands for three days, with no food or water and the occasional battering from an angered Jashinist, was bound to be swaying on his feet. Itachi refused to take responsibility.

"Naruto, go," Iruka urged. He gave a startled 'umph' as he was pushed back down. Brazenly Naruto stepped forward, kunai aligned with flashing blue eyes.

"Why did you take him?"

Kami, he intended to blame the whole of Akatsuki on Itachi? Perhaps it was deserved; Itachi had suggested kidnapping the teacher in the first place.

"Because he was useful," Itachi said.

"That's not good enough!" Warily Naruto glanced to the side, anticipating a secondary attack.

Itachi shrugged one shoulder. Was the jinchuriki so dull? "He is your precious person."

Yes, even Itachi, kinslayer and traitor, knew the significance of that one person. He had given up his world for a child.

"What would you know about that?" Naruto rallied. "After all you did to Sasuke!"

Itachi didn't flinch, but the fingers of one hand curled.

"I'm taking Iruka out of here," Naruto said, retreating to the rasping chunin. "Don't try to stop me."

"Hn." He could capture the jinchuriki now. The sensei was blind bait.

Time had given him reason to consider.

Sasuke.

Naruto referred to him as though he was a friend; a brother.

Iruka still mourned his student.

Perhaps they would break through the damage Itachi had created.

Quietly Itachi turned. Naruto's startled shuffle echoed in the cave.

"Hey! Where are you going?"

"You have five minutes."

The jinchuriki was still, and a smile almost twitched the corner of Itachi's mouth. The fool had yet to run.

Scuffing his feet deliberately, Itachi walked away. There was no retaliating attack. He expected as much.

A scuffle, a quiet groan from the sensei, and a rough murmur from the jinchuriki. "Come on, Iruka."

He was leaving with his precious person.

Itachi was left to fight his own.

Stepping into the shadows, Itachi closed his eyes. He remembered fear during the Kyuubi's attack; cradling a helpless infant. Pride as he watched Sasuke walk to the academy, proclaiming he was 'too old to hold his niisan's hand'. Agony when Kaasan told him to finish his task on that bloody night. Hurt, knowing that Sasuke hated him.

Sasuke.

Sasuke.

Opening his eyes, Itachi strode away from the wall. The inner cave was silent. It would remain so a few minutes longer.

His mind resolved once more, Itachi turned down the hall.

Perhaps he would wear those spectacles Kisame insisted on after all. It was a useful excuse for allowing the Kyuubi to escape.

For now he would wake Hidan and allow him to shoulder the blame.