A/N: Pet project, be warned, happy rizzles ending unlikely (possible, but unlikely - to be clear my INTENTION IS DIVORCE... but I refuse to rule out reconciliation, because I let stories tell themselves, and I love rizzles so yeah... we good now... I intend this to be heartbreaking, so don't read for a 5% chance of happy... consider it UNHAPPY).

Deals with infidelity and the breakdown of a Rizzles marriage... we start smack bang at the turning point (flashbacks will be used to tell more of the back story as I go). Not a priority fic right now, still focused on Catch 22... but my muse had an itch to scratch. If you want fluff, go elsewhere (there might be some, but there's a tonne of drama and angst too). Feel free to feel what you want about Jane and Maura in this, and you can bluntly criticise them, but don't be bashing me for writing something different... because you have been warned!

With one final heave, Jane emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl and flushed. She climbed to her feet and walked over to the sink, where she quickly washed her hands, rinsed out her mouth with mouth wash and splashed some water on her face. She felt absolutely wretched and wondered how she had ended up in the position she was in. She stared at her reflection in the mirror and realised she didn't recognise the woman staring back at her. Sure she actually felt refreshed for the first time in months and she had a certain glow about her, but her dark chocolate coloured eyes betrayed the truth. She was haunted by everything she was feeling, everything she had done and the thoughts of the decision to come.

She pulled her hair band from around her wrist and quickly tied her dark curls back into a pony tail before turning on her heel and exiting the en-suite. She strolled into the unfamiliar, but modern stylish bedroom and couldn't help the smile that graced her lips. "Good morning Beautiful."

"God, you are obnoxiously cheery this morning Jane," huffed the blonde indignantly as she untangled from the sheets and stepped off the bed in the search for some clothes.

Jane's smirk hid the inner turmoil she felt incredibly well, but then watching the gorgeous blonde soothed her in ways she couldn't comprehend. She walked up behind her companion and wrapped her arms around her waist. "Must be the company," she husked out seductively.

"Insatiable too, it seems." The blonde turned around and wrapped her arms around Jane's neck. "Last night wasn't enough for you detective?"

Jane stiffened briefly at the reality; she had spent the night and crossed so many lines, so many lines that she wouldn't be able to return from. A melancholic sigh escaped her lips right before her lips found those of the woman in her arms. Mouths met eager but gentle, the passion of the night before long gone, replaced with a tenderness that only confused the situation further for both women.

They eventually pulled apart, but Jane brought her forehead to rest against her companion's. The playfulness she had been conveying disappeared for a more serious demeanour, her eyes fluttered shut and she whispered, "Are you okay?"

"I should probably be asking you that," was the soft reply. She wasn't a fool; she understood exactly the delicacy of the situation and the toll it was taking on the detective.

Jane sighed and pulled away, she leaned over and picked up some of her companion's clothing and handed them to her. "Get dressed," it wasn't an outright dismissal, but it was an obvious request for a few minutes to process.

She smiled softly and headed to the en-suite. "We're not finished here," she said seriously before closing the door, giving the space requested.

Jane found her pants and quickly pulled them on before she grabbed her deep red button down top and slid it on over her tank. She sat on the edge of the bed and slowly did the buttons up on automatic pilot. Her thoughts were elsewhere as she pondered whether she was indeed okay. In all honesty she was completely torn; she knew she should feel bad for what had happened the night before, perhaps even more so for what had been slowly unravelling in front of her over the course of the previous six months, but she didn't, at least not enough.

She listened as her companion turned the shower on and felt grateful for the extra time she was being afforded, the trust too, because it would be so easy for her to slip out and not have the conversation she knew they had to have. What was this between them? Where do they go from here? Jane knew that in the end she held final say over the course of this relationship, because she was the one with everything to lose. She sighed and tried to push the thoughts of a smiling sandy haired boy from her mind. God she loved her son, but if not for him the blurred lines might be a little less blurred.

I wanna stay here in this moment; make the earth stand impossibly still. Disappear in your kiss, we'll never be missed.

The familiar ringtone broke the relative silence and had Jane searching her pockets anxiously until she could pull it out and answer. "Hey Hon," she managed a smile.

"Hello Jane, I thought I would just check in and see how you're coping home all alone? Liam is having a great time with Mother, but he misses you."

"Sucks without him, I miss him so much. Don't let your Mother spoil him too much though hey?" She wondered when she became so tactfully good at deceiving her wife. She suppressed a sigh and asked with some of her customary charm, "Miss me yet?"

A soft chuckle reverberated down the line, "Yes, of course I miss you Jane. It's not the same without you, but we'll be home soon enough."

"Counting down the hours." She listened to her wife call their son over to the phone and smiled, this was admittedly her favourite part of when they went away.

"Somebody wants to say hello…" the phone was passed over.

"Mama!" Liam's bright and bubbly voiced echoed excitedly down the line.

"Hey Kiddo, I've missed you so much. Are you being good for Mom?" Jane asked with a grin.

"Always good Mama."

Jane chuckled, knowing for an absolute fact that was decidedly untrue. "Well make sure you try extra hard and I'll see you soon okay Liam?" She listened as he enthusiastically agreed before the phone was handed back to his Mom. "So you'll be home around five tomorrow?"

"That is correct. I have to go, Mother has brunch planned. I love you, Jane."

"I love you too, Maur." Jane ended the call and held the phone to her forehead, the weight of what she had done hitting extra hard after hearing the voice of her wife, her best friend, her confidant… her whole life. "Fuck," she growled angrily, barely containing the desire to hurl the phone across the room.

Maura had taken their son to visit with Constance while she was in New York and the same night they left she had found herself in another woman's bed. Jane's hands curled into tight fists as she punished herself physically for what she had done; but it wasn't just any woman. It was the new Assistant District Attorney, and they had become fast friends and had in some ways been hurtling towards this moment since they met. Erica Hayden was pure down to earth, beer swilling, Red Sox loving charm and it had drawn her in and she fought it desperately; they both had, but it was more than physical attraction and that had eventually been Jane's undoing.

Her heart clenched in her chest as her thoughts raced through the consequences of her actions and the realisation that she had a decision to make. She couldn't just cheat on her wife with no end in sight, and if she ended whatever it was that was happening between her and Erica, she still had to come clean, otherwise the guilt would eat her alive. It was already doing a damn fine job at that.

"I don't think this can happen again," Erica said with as much stoicism as she could find. She stood in the doorway to the en-suite and watched Jane keenly, aware of the torment that blazed a path across tired looking Italian features. "You love your wife and son; this was a mistake that can't happen again."

Jane shook her head before she buried it in her hands; she was being given an out and yet a part of her didn't want out. It felt good to feel desired, because she sure hadn't been feeling that way at home; but could she really blame Maura for focusing on their son? God she was such a jerk, that's all she could settle on, because damn if she didn't just want to erase the distance between them and take Erica one more time for good measure.

Finally she said with some conviction, "No, this wasn't a mistake. Bad timing maybe." Jane felt enough for the ADA to not want to label what they had done a mistake. She deserved more than that. "It wouldn't have happened if I didn't…"

"I know." Erica said softly, sitting down next to the detective. It was more than lust that had preceded their sexual entanglement the night before. She was not the type to just sleep around, especially with married women, even more so when she had to work with both spouses from time to time. No, there were real feelings involved, but she knew enough to know that whatever Jane was feeling paled in significance to what she absolutely did feel for her wife.

Erica sighed and closed her eyes, her hands clasped together and buried in her lap. Attempting to end their tryst was exponentially harder than she thought it would be, because she had fallen head over stylish, yet affordable heels for the detective. She felt a strong arm snake its way around her shoulders and tug her toward a warm chest, before she felt a soft kiss placed at her hairline. "Jane," she warned half heartedly.

Jane tilted Erica's chin so that she could look down into her bright blue eyes and reiterate, "You are not a mistake." She then leaned forward and pressed their lips together, before running her tongue along Erica's mouth seeking desperate entrance and being granted such. It was a slow languid exploration that was meant to be goodbye, but she just couldn't do it.

Erica broke the kiss long enough to roll over so that she was straddling Jane's lap on the edge of the bed. She cupped the detective's face with her hands and hungrily found her mouth again, this time with more force. It was sloppy, wet and very messy as desire coursed its way through them both. Finally she pulled away for much needed breath, which came short and ragged, her pupils were dilated and her cheeks flushed. She was beyond aroused when she growled throatily, "I don't think I can stop."

Jane's fingers dug into her companion's hips, her own breath returning rapidly. Her chest heaved and her eyes kept falling to Erica's lips; this was not supposed to happen again, but then she decided she'd already made the mistake, she might as well go big. "Then don't," she responded firmly.

Erica slipped her arms around Jane's neck and looked searchingly into the darkened pools of chocolate staring right back. The affection she found was disconcerting and it only made her chest ache with longing. She buried her face in the crook of Jane's neck, breathing in a delicious combination of lavender and vanilla. Using the last of what inner resolve she had left she mumbled, "We have to stop."

The warm breath of her lover tickled Jane's skin, which definitely wasn't helping her resolve to listen to what she was being told. Her heart was thudding rapidly in her chest and she felt the familiar warmth permeating throughout her entire body just from their closeness. Her desire to be close to this woman was fuelled by more than lust; she craved intimacy. "I don't want to stop," Jane admitted with a whisper.

Erica pressed her lips tenderly against the skin beneath her mouth, "I know sweetheart. I don't want to either, but if we stop now your life doesn't have to be turned upside down. I promise you I will not tell Maura what happened between us." She deliberately mentioned Jane's wife as a cooling reminder to help the detective do the right thing. Erica couldn't bare the thought of being responsible for Jane being broken hearted, and she knew if her marriage ended that was exactly what Jane would be.

Jane's arms shifted and wrapped tightly around the waist of the body pressed against her. She knew exactly what Erica was doing by mentioning Maura and it only made her want the ADA more. She felt genuinely cared for and loved; it was that thought that sobered the situation. Guilt slammed into her body heavily as she only tightened her grasp even more. She felt the hot sting of tears slipping down her cheeks. "I'm so, so sorry," she rasped through her sobs.

And she was sorry. Incredibly sorry because there were four hearts that were going to end up broken because of her actions. Her own, Erica's, Maura's and her precious baby boy who was not going to understand why his Mama wasn't living at home anymore. Because Maura was going to kick her out, of that she had no doubt.

Erica felt the jolt of heartache shoot through her chest, but she felt something more, fear. She was suddenly worried that Jane was going to make another mistake. She pulled away so that she could search the detective's eyes for what she feared and through the tears she saw it. "No," she said harshly, "Don't you dare break her heart Jane."

Jane averted her gaze and mumbled, "I have to tell her the truth. I can't keep this from her."

"And then what Jane? What good does that do anyone? You'll break her heart and your heart and what about Liam huh? Is he going to understand?" Erica was internally cursing herself, she knew what Jane was like and she wished she had been able to think of this before falling into bed with the woman. "Don't do it Jane," she reiterated her stance, "I love you too damn much to watch you break your own heart like that."

Jane's head snapped up and her gaze found the truth staring back at her from bright, teary, blue eyes. "But it's okay to break your heart?"

"I'll be fine," she didn't really believe it, but she wasn't going to be any more responsible for the breaking up of a family than she already was. Perhaps if she didn't like Maura it would be easier to be selfish and encourage Jane to leave her wife; but she did like Maura, it was too hard not to.

Erica placed a soft peck on Jane's lips and climbed off her lap. "This won't happen again and you will go home and wait for your wife and son to return to you and you will never breathe a word of this to anyone. Are we clear on that?" She spoke in what bordered on her in court cross examination tone.

Jane never really had a chance to answer because her phone started ringing. It was dispatch. "Rizzoli," she answered as she got to her feet and checked her pockets to make sure she had her keys. She offered an apologetic smile towards Erica before strolling out of the bedroom, "I'm on my way."