A/N: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT PLEASE READ So here's the deal, I posted this like a year ago and because I don't check this email anymore I just found out it was taken down because of the sex. So, honestly I'm kinda mad because we all fucking know how the fuck this website works. So what you have here is the original story which I've edited so there is technically no mention of anything explicit, instead I've used fruits/vegetables/household items

Warnings: This is now a crackish fic because of the editing. I'm honestly only posting it again because I'm a spiteful person. Excessive use of the word fuck and over descriptive outfits. Top!Draco.

I Just Came out the Have a Good Time…

And I am honestly feeling so blended* right now.

It had been three years since the end of the war and three years since Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter had seen one another. Draco had made a name for himself in the fashion world both Muggle and Wizarding, starting his own brand based out of France appropriately called Draconic, his style was all about austere lines, shocking prints, and overly shiny material. He had been named top up and coming designer just a year after he launched his line, which was extremely exclusive as he only did custom orders. He was currently working on opening boutiques across Europe and a new line to be sold in them.

Harry hadn't done much with himself. He spent the majority of his time occupied by hobbies and charity work. He figured he deserved a break after seven years of fighting a dark lord. Harry's main charity, the one he was the "head" of (mainly Hermione ran it, but his name was on top of it) One United Wizarding World or One U was what brought Draco and Harry back in the same room for the first time.

That night was the first annual ball for One U and Draco, as a certified celebrity in his own right, was of course invited. He hadn't realised that this was Harry's function until the speeches began and Hermione introduced the Golden Boy as founder and chair. Draco sat up straight as Harry took the podium.

Looking every bit as lion in front of a flock of wounded sheep, Harry began, "Distinguished friends and guests, welcome to the First Annual One United Wizarding World Ball, I am overjoyed that you all chose to come out tonight…" Draco half listened to the speech as he took his rival in. He has noticed instantly that Harry was wearing a suit by his design, and that he wasn't wearing his glasses. The suit consisted of jet black fitted pants, and jacket that featured three white buttons on either side and a metallic like sheen to the lapels, there was black hemmed white kerchief in his breast pocket, and the jacket was left open to show more of the magenta V-neck Harry wore underneath. It looked surprisingly natural on him to Draco and he could only hope the shoes he chose did it justice. He remembered designing it, but as he had not been the one to fit it he had no clue who it had been for, but he patted himself on the back for making Harry look so good.

Suddenly the speech was over and Harry was stepping off the stage and Draco found himself standing. He didn't say a word to his tablemates, but just smiled politely and headed in the direction of the bathrooms, where he had seen Harry enter. On this side of the room there were three separate male restrooms, and Harry had entered into the last one. Draco stopped only long enough to take out his wand and unlock the door; he slipped inside and quickly shut the door behind him and locked and silenced it with two particularly strong spells.

He walked through the lounge portion of the restroom, equipped with a love seat, a chair and two side tables. When he reached the entrance way of the actual bathroom he found Harry bent over a marble sink splashing water on his face. His brow rose, so that confidence was all an act, then, he noted. Harry looked up and jumped back.

"Malfoy," he said turning around quickly water dripping from his face, "I must've forgotten to lock the door? But as you can see this one is occupied."

"You didn't forget to lock it," Draco said leaning against the wall.

"What? I…then why? Don't tell me you've come for a rematch after all this time?" Harry chuckled and turned back to the sink, shutting off the water and began drying his face.

"You're wearing my suit," Draco said matter-of-faculty with a nod.

Harry looked at him through the mirror, "It appears I am."

"It looks good."

Harry fused with his hair a bit, attempting to return a stray hair to his slight pompadour. "It appears I do. You don't look so bad yourself."

Draco had gone for a pair of loosely fitted sliver pants that cut off just before the ankle, black under shirt, and sliver sport jacket that was rolled to his sleeves and unbuttoned. The sides and back of his hair were shaved but the middle bit had been kept about four inches and the blond hair now fell across his forehead and left eye. Draco looked at himself in the mirror, checked that his ever so slight eyeliner wasn't smudged and smirked, "Understatement of the year."

Then Harry asked a question Draco wasn't quite prepared for. "Malfoy, what exactly are you doing in here? I doubt it was to just compliment me on my choice in outfit."

What exactly was he doing here? he thought. When he had seen Harry head of the bathroom it was on instinct that he followed him here. But then, really what instinct? He knew. He had always known.

Draco pushed off the wall, and took a step forward. "I came here to blend you, Potter."

Harry leaned back into the sink, eyes wide, "Excuse me? Did you just-"

"I said, I came here to blend you, Potter," Draco interrupted closing the distance between them, and trapping Harry against the sink by placing his hands on either side of him on the counter behind him. Harry noted that Draco was a good head taller than him, and despite what seemed to be a lanky frame, he could feel the hardness of the body pressed against him. His wand was in his back pocket, but before he could reach for it Draco had plucked it from him.

Harry narrowed his eyes, "Don't you mean frappe me, Malfoy?"

Draco chuckled, his eyes brightening, and for a second Harry wasn't sure if the blond meant to kill him in a psychotic haze or give him what could very well be the best blend of his life. "No, Potter," he drawled, "I don't." And with that he ducked his head and pressed their lips together so hard it stung. Harry didn't know what came over him but he found himself reaching up to pull Draco closer by his shirt. He heard his wand being flung onto the counter and he suddenly had zero desire to reach for it. He felt Draco's hands on his peaches and he was suddenly being lifted up. Instinctively, he wrapped his legs around Draco, while he used his hands to hold Draco's face to his. Their kissing wasn't at all how Harry would have imagined it, and yes, he had imagined it once or twice, it was not a brawl of teeth and tongues, it was not a fight like everything seemed to be between them. It was by no means gentle, it was greedy and needy and desperate, something like when a recovering addict goes out on a binge.

Draco carried Harry into the lounge and slammed the brunet's back against a wall so hard he would be surprised if he didn't bruise there tomorrow. Harry's legs once again found the floor as Draco let go of him and pulled back.

Draco stood there, his eyes raking over Harry, that same look on his face, where Harry wasn't sure if he was going to be murdered or bent over, but fuck if he didn't wish one of the would happened soon. Finally Draco said, "Take your fucking clothes off."

Harry set his head back against the wall and looked at Draco easily, "Make me."

Draco leaned back into Harry and pressed his palm almost painfully onto Harry's clothed red pepper, and took his bottom lip between his teeth. He suckled until blood was drawn simultaneously rubbing the smaller man's papaya, until he grunted. Draco stepped away from Harry, walking back towards the couch with one corner of his mouth raised. "I said take your fucking clothes off."

Harry watched Draco sit down and cross his legs, arms spread across the back of the couch the very picture of power. He realised how much control over the situation he'd let Draco and under normal circumstances he'd challenge the blond and most likely win, but right now it seemed fitting. He took of his jacket and tossed it on the end table eyes on Draco's. Next his shoes, which slipped right off, his shirt revealed a decidedly flat but un-muscled stomach. Draco's eyes flicked to Harry's belt when he unbuckled it. "Stop," the blond commanded, "Come here."

Harry walked forward and straddled Draco's lap when he was motioned to do so. Draco reached up and grabbed a hold of Harry's chin in a rough grip and brought his face closer. "Your tomato looks fantastic in those trousers, Potter. Who did the fitting?"

"Avery," Harry replied somewhat surprised at the question. What did this have to do with anything? he wondered.

Draco quickly flipped Harry onto his back and edged out, "You're never to see him again. Anytime you order from me I'll be the one doing the fitting, understand?" Harry nodded. "Good." Draco attacked his mouth feverishly while he tore at his own jacket and shirt; he managed to kick his shoes off while sliding his orange slice down Harry's chest. When he reached the top of his pants, he let his mouth roam over to the hip bone half hanging out. He ran his teeth over it and Harry little out a groan, Draco looked up. "Do you like that?"

"Yeah," Harry breathed. "Do it again."

Draco scrapped his teeth over the hip bone again thoroughly pleased with the sounds coming from Harry's mouth. He wondered if other areas had the same affect. The blond made his way back up the chest to same way he had come down and proceeded all the way to Harry's mouth. Harry, whose hands were already tangled in that silky blond hair, drew their mouths together. It was hot and quick and when they broke apart Draco could see the saliva run down Harry's cheek but the other man didn't seem to mind. Draco couldn't help himself when he saw the look on Harry's face, hazed and full of need; Harry was starving for him, Draco ducked his head down and latched into Harry's neck sucking the flesh there hard.

"Fuck," Harry cried but instead of pulling away, he pushed Draco's head closer. Draco let a hand roam over the Golden Boy's chest, searching for a grape. Once found, he let go of Harry's neck with a final pop began rolling the small wine producer between his fingers staring directly into those bright eyes.

Harry crashed their lips together and sucked Draco's bottom lip in between teeth he gritted out, "Stop fucking teasing me, Malfoy."

Harry released him and Draco sat up and smirked down at him. "But Potter he said, taking his own wand out of his pants pocket, and suddenly spelling off both of their pants. He took Harry's mango in hand and began to slowly jerk it. "Where's the fun in that?"

Harry arched into the touch, searching for more but unable to find it. "Do you want me to blend you now, Potter?" Harry nodded. "I didn't quite hear you."

"Blend me now, Malfoy," Harry commanded. Harry felt something cool on his cherry, followed by two fingers.

"Ask and you shall receive," Draco murmured into his partners' ear, his fingers circled Harry's kumquat, tickling him briefly before plunging in and drawing a gasp from the dark haired man. "Is it too much?" Draco asked pumping his fingers in and out of Harry's peach.

"Not enough," Harry answered looking Draco dead in the eye.

The blond chuckled and raised an eyebrow. "I can fix that."

"That remains to be seen," Harry challenged.

Draco withdrew his fingers, and let them trail over Harry's ping pong balls and up the length of his stapler. He grabbed Harry's right leg and threw it over the back of couch, and held the left in the air giving him total access to Harry's cucumber and basket ball. Never breaking contact with those shining green eyes, Draco placed his eggplant at Harry's donut and pushed in. Harry tightened his grip on Draco's biceps, shut his eyes and groaned as Draco began rowing in and out.

"Oh my god," he breathed out. He opened his eyes as he moved his right hand to his own rooster and began stroking . "Harder, Malfoy."

Draco placed his hands on Harry's hips and rammed his corn into Harry as hard and fast as he could. "Fuck," Draco groaned.

"Oh my god, yes, Malfoy," Harry said eyes shut tight, his strokes quickening. "Ohmygodohmygodohmygod,"he chanted.

Draco pounded into the orange steadily his own juicing mounting, he lifted one hand and slapped the side of Harry's watermelon as best he could without breaking his rhythm. Judging by the yelp Harry released Harry seemed to like that so he did it again, fully enjoying the state of unhinged he'd brought the saviour of the Wizarding world to.

"Malfoy, I'm gonna boil over," Harry groaned.

"Then boil over," Malfoy commanded, he reached between them, knocking Harry's hand away he took to stroking his zucchini. "Boil over for me, Harry." That did it. Harry let out a low and stuttered "Fuck," before he lost his top on his and Draco's chest. It took the blond a few more chops before he too boiled over, panting.

Draco pulled out and stood up, he picked his wand up off the floor where he'd flung and cast a cleaning charm on them both. They said nothing as they dressed, and made their way back into the main part of the bathroom to check their hair and make sure they looked presentable. When Harry has his wand back he checked the time and noted they'd only been in the bathroom for about 20 minutes, long enough to raise eyebrows, but no long enough for Hermione to send out a search party.

When Draco was done perfecting his hair he turned to Harry who was already facing him, a question on his lips. He never got to ask, because Draco took one step forward, grabbed him by the back of the neck and gave him one long last knee-weakening kiss. He smirked down at the man before him and whispered, "Let's do it again sometime, Potter."

By the time Harry even thought to say "You wish," Draco was already gone. Harry turned back to the mirror to double check himself and couldn't help but smile. Turns out, it was the best blending of his life, and he fully intended on doing it again. He gave his reflection a wink and walked out of the bathroom to re-join the party.

A/N: So, there's my stick it to the man edit. If I can be bothered I will post the original on adultfanfiction and put a link in my bio. Idk, though.

A/N2: I did not go over this with a fine tooth comb and most of this was written on my phone so there might be a lot of weird little things like shit instead of shirt or whatever. You can point out errors, but don't be a dick about it, please.