hello my lovely readers! this is my newest fic! zee's feelings after her dad left always made me curious so i thought i'd write them in what i think she might feel

this is the first of six letters i plan on posting

also chalant and spitfire mentioned in this, jsyk

reviews are majorly appreciated!

disclaimer:

i don't own young justice

November 2011 - Letter One

Fifteen year old Zatanna Zatara sat on her bed, her hands digging through an old school backpack to pull out the best pen she owned. She'd misplaced so many things after her move in, she was relieved when she found the writing utensil that once belonged to her father. She grabbed the newly purchased notebook off of her nightstand and placed it on her desk. Pulling out the black executive chair she plopped down, hit shuffle on her iTunes and opened the notebook to the first empty page.

She sat for a minute with the pen tapping the table, scrunching her nose. She was thinking.

Clicking the pen to reveal its ballpoint she dated the top of the page and began to write...

Dear Dad,

Can you believe it's been a year? I know I can't. I still have so many questions running through my head it's ridiculous. I was talking to Black Canary during my therapy session (which became mandatory after what happened) and telling her how I'm still not a hundred percent okay after what happened. It's hard to admit sometimes but I get this feeling I can tell her anything. She's almost like a mom to me, you know? Anyway, she recommended that I get a notebook and start to write to you. It's like what people do when they're angry, except instead of throwing away the letter it'll stay in this notebook. So here goes nothing, I suppose.

Since you left, I've joined the team. I really didn't go on that many missions at the beginning, I was more focused on doing things for the League. Now missions are more regular but the League still has them as my top priority. Figures. It took awhile for me to clear my head and sort myself out after what happened. But while sorting myself out I was able to learn so much. Black Canary said my powers have gotten much stronger in the last year. I find it hard to believe, I guess I don't notice. I just cast spells as I learn them.

I've grown a lot closer to Artemis and M'gann. They've shown me what real friends are. M'gann is probably the sweetest girl I've met and Arty is the closest thing I'll ever have to a sister. You'd love them Dad, they're the kind of friends you'd always hoped I would have. I haven't had someone like that since I was in elementary school. You and I lived in Manhattan and I was friends with the one girl, what was her name? Kenzie? Her mom thought we were some crazy gypsy family, remember that? She banned us from hanging out because of the time you teleported us from Joker when Batman was in town and Kenzie kept talking about magic and spells. Wow, that was so long ago. It's crazy how time flies, isn't it?

Speaking of Batman, the Team helped him and the rest of the Justice League save the world. How insane is that? We stopped the Light, at least, from what we understand we did, and things are finally settling down as much as they would in a world full of villains and heroes. Routines have reformed and I've finally got one of my own.

I've started patrolling Gotham with Robin. Batman told me that it was time I started to take to a city. Gotham was a good place to start. It's a regular thing now and honestly I wouldn't trade it for the world. Robin and I are always so in sync. He has my back and I have his. When we fight together we don't even need to talk because we're just on the same page. I know you're probably rolling your eyes because Robin's a boy and boys are no good and so on and so forth but Dad here me out, okay? He isn't like all those boys who tried taking me to dances or on dates. He has a heart. I can tell him anything too. I don't know who he really is, everyone just refers to him as Robin. He's very mysterious but I guess that isn't a bad thing, right? Oh god now I'm telling you about my crush on the Boy Wonder. If you actually read these I'd be grounded for weeks on end. You'd probably ground me for life if you found out I kissed him on New Years. Whoops. Sorry Dad!

I had to try your locator spell awhile ago, and that was scary. I couldn't comprehend that I had to start taking your place as the magician. Your spells take so much time to prep for, I honestly can't focus enough to cast one for very long. You never got around to teaching me the key to focusing solely on one spell. I tried my best to cast it like you would, but it took so much out of me. I need to start focusing on more spells. I might try to go to our apartment in the city and get some of your spell books. I've been toying with the idea for a few months now. The only thing stopping me is my mind. I don't know if I'm ready to go back there alone, not yet.

Robin suggested I try talking to Doctor Fate to see if he'll let you out so we can talk. He, along with Arty and Black Canary, know how much I truly miss you and how miserable I am without you. I doubt Fate would, he doesn't like to be bothered with petty children. Sometimes I can't tell if he likes me or not. Maybe one day, if I ever get the chance to prove to him that I'm more than just some girl who is a shadow of the great Giovanni Zatara.

I'd kill for a hug from you Dad, or to hear your voice tell me stories about you and mom. It's so strange seeing your body function with movements that are so foreign to your own. Also, total side note, blue and gold are so not your colors. But in all seriousness, I miss you Dad, more than I could ever admit to anyone besides myself.

Love your little girl,

Zatanna

xoxo