What It Means to Be

Chapter 1

Juxtaposition

Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe

A story about what it means to be-

As we all know, Rose Quartz won the war against home world. She stood in defiance of tyranny and championed the cause of life, no matter how small. But, this war wasn't fought with three soldiers. There were thousands, maybe millions, of other gems, lost forever to time. Most were shattered, which seems merciful in face of the fate of the others who became the monstrous corrupted gems. However, gems are stubborn beings, for those that are corrupted fight what they have become every second of their lives, and even those that were shattered reject the idea of being forgotten.

It's a quiet day on beach city as the sun slowly begins to climb over the horizon. A quiet day that is quickly disrupted

The silence is shattered by a resounding "GOOOOOOOOOOOAL!" as Steven throws a basketball straight into the ocean.

"Steven... What was the point of this game again?" said Pearl, with a very confused look on her face. Steven immediately turns to her with excitement and stars in his eyes. He opens his mouth and stops momentarily.

"I forgot..."

Amethyst approaches Steven from behind and slings an arm over his shoulder while laughing hysterically. "Its okay dude, that was awesome, and seeing Pearl that confused was the best." This last comment makes Pearl blush, which in turn makes Amethyst start to laugh with renewed vigor as she goes to retrieve the ball that was slowly drifting away.

"Well, Steven, we were wondering, with your birthday coming up and all, what you would like as a gift." Pearl says, as she sees Amethyst attempting to catch a fish with her teeth.

Steven, deep in thought, sits down with his hand to his chin. "Present... Present... Well... I had an idea, but you're probably not going to like it Pearl..." He says, with his eyebrows deeply furrowed.

"Umm... And what would that be? Nothing dangerous I would hope."

Steven flinches momentarily, "I was... Hoping... That... Maybe... I could give Centipeetle another chance..."

"Stupid clods, with their stupid fusions, and stupid shield..." Peridot mumbles to no one in particular, limping along with a tree branch for a crutch through a forest. Walking had proven difficult for her after ejecting her foot off in order to escape from the crystal gems. "Stupid prosthesis, stupid limited regeneration. Well... It could always be worse." With those very words, lightning strikes, and rain begins to fall. "Awww crud! This miserable planet just hates me!" She throws her hands in the air and slumps against a tree.

"Why... Why earth of all places? I didn't sign up to be a fighter, I'm just a scout... I'm gonna die here, I just know it. If not from those crystal gems, then certainly some beast will do it... I never wanted to fight... I just want to live..." She rests her head against her knees, and begins to sob quietly, the sound and tears lost in the rain.

It burns. Everything burns. These chains burn, the water burns, my mind burns, my gem burns. How long has Lapis kept me down here? Too long. I have to find a way out, somehow. This is pathetic, I am a warrior! I fought Rose Quartz and her armies, I led the final charge on the Last Battle for Earth, I dueled her myself, and... Lost. GAAAAH, how could I lose to that traitor! She forced me to live with the fact that I can only go only living because of her choice, and now I can't even get revenge. She's gone, replaced with that pathetic Steven child, and this WEAK, WORTHLESS, PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A GEM LAPIS! IF IT WEREN'T FOR THESE CHAIN, I'D SHATTER YOU! I'D GRIND YOU INTO DUST! I WILL NEVER BE MALACHITE! I WILL ALWAYS BE JASPER! NO ONE ELSE! I AM ME!

Lapis grunts against the chains. Its always difficult to hold her when she's like this, but she's done it before, and she'll do it again. Although, it has become much more difficult after Steven had appeared. "Right before she can gain control... I'll defuse us... Jasper can't have Malachite." A small hope rises in her chest, one that she quickly hates herself for. She's doing this for Steven, he saved her before, gave her a brief glimpse of freedom. "This is only another cage, Jasper, and I'll gladly stay here another 5000 years if it means keeping Steven and the crystal gems safe from you!" Lapis flinches again as Jasper yells louder. The chain pull down hard, and they burn Lapis just as much as they do Jasper, but the pain is nothing compared to the thought of what Jasper will do to Steven if she ever gets free. No, from now on, she is the jailer and the prisoner.

Whats happening to me? Why do we feel like this? What happened to them? We are us now, just as I am they. Peridot. Yes, no, maybe? It was her, right? That did this to us? That made me us? That made us I? We hate her, I hate her with every fiber of my being. But, without her, we wouldn't be anything. Those pieces that I used to be, she did terrible terrible things to them, but without her, we wouldn't be us, or they, or anyone. We're too... Separate. We are not I yet, but we must. Just a little closer. The shard that were us can become something greater. We are greater than the sum of our parts, but we aren't quiet a fusion either, nor are we one gem. I am us am we are they. Us, we, they, I am a cluster.

Author's Note: So this is my very first fanfiction. I plan making this quite the long story, so I will update semi-regularly. I'm open to criticism, and even more open to compliments. So, until next time.