.:A Rose Among Ashes:.

Chapter 1 – Ruby

She doesn't hear her sister knocking on her door and telling her dinner's ready. She's too absorbed in swallowing her fear and removing the lid from their uncle's Xanax prescription. She doesn't hear her sister's voice rise to a shout when she doesn't respond. She's now busy pouring out what's left of the pills into her palm. She counts ten and wonders if that's enough.

She's swallowing the pills with what's left of an old bottle of beer by the time her sister is frantically pounding on the door upon realizing it's locked. She waits with heightened anxiety for the pills to take effect. Her sister is charging against the door now, desperate pleas for her to open it and that she "better not be doing what I think you're doing, damn it."

She doesn't hear her sister's startled cry when she finally gets inside to see her collapsed on her bedroom floor. She doesn't remember her sister's panic-stricken shouts as she dials 911, cradling her baby sister's head. She's passed out by the time the medics arrive and doesn't remember the ride to the hospital, nor the three tries it takes to get her heart beating again.

She wishes she could remember her sister's smiling face upon waking up a day later, but she only remembers feeling numb and cold, wishing she had died and hadn't been saved.

XxXxX

3 years later…

Her alarm went off promptly at 5pm. Jolting from her sleep with a start, eighteen year-old Ruby Rose blinked open dreary eyes. Still, a smile broke upon her face after a delightful stretch and she hopped from her bed and to her closet humming a happy tune. Her footsteps and singing must have alerted her older sister that she was awake, as soon a knocking was heard upon her door.

"You awake, sis?"

"Yup!" Ruby chirped as a response, bounding over to where her sister now stood in the doorway and tackling her in a hug. "Awake and ready for another day of work!"

Her sister, Yang, couldn't help but chuckle as she ruffled Ruby's locks. "I still don't get how you find your job so enjoyable, Rubes." She shivered for dramatic effect before adding, "It just seems so…depressing."

Ruby shrugged. "It is, honestly, sometimes," she said. "But then when you hear of the difference we really make in people's lives, well… It's all okay."

"Still don't see how you do it," Yang mumbled, a hardness gathering in her eyes as she sized her sister up; a typical occurrence before the redhead was due to go in for work.

The mirth in Ruby's eyes waned only briefly before their previous light rekindled itself. "Well, don't think too hard on it, sis," she giggled before brushing past Yang. "Don't wanna be a downer while you're out with friends tonight, right?"

A small smile flickered across Yang's face as she watched Ruby head downstairs, her whisper of, "A downer, right…" trailing solemnly after her.

Some people would find it cryptic, while others would find it awe-inspiring, that only three short years after her own attempt on her life, Ruby now worked as a Suicide Hotline operator. It even surprised her, sometimes, how easily she fell into the roll, and how much she enjoyed it. It didn't just end there though; no, Ruby was one of the best they had on Vale's hotline. Maybe it had to do with her now-carefree attitude and innocence, or maybe it went deeper and was tied to her own attempt, making her able to sympathize more with callers when others couldn't. Regardless, she was good at what she did, and everyone in the office attributed Vale's decline in yearly suicides to Ruby.

Despite her enjoyment of her job, that didn't mean it still didn't take its toll on her. After all, she had been dreaming of her own attempt a lot more ever since, and Yang would say she had become "overly exuberant" lately as a cover for how tormented she really felt. Whatever the issues were, Ruby refused to let anything show, appearing as happy and cheerful as the callers knew her as.

"Sal-u-tations, Ruby!" a co-worker of hers, Penny, greeted upon her walking into the office. "How was your day?"

"I spent it as I always do, Penny," Ruby replied with another smile. "Sleeping!"

"You really should try and get out more, Ruby," Penny said. "While sleep is good for your body and health, too much can become detrimental."

"Well, you try working third shift and then come tell me you don't just want to sleep when you get off," Ruby returned with a grin.

The third shift did have its downfalls; primarily the fact that a typical shift ran from 6pm to 8am, during a majority of the hours normal people would be sleeping. Therefore, Ruby had trained her body to become somewhat nocturnal; sleeping from 9am to 5pm on a good day. Still, she wouldn't trade it in for the world, and not just because these were the only hours the office would give her, but because she felt a different connection to callers in the wee hours of the morning. She felt it was more of a challenge to keep people from ending their lives when they were exhausted after a difficult day at work, or had just come home from drinking at 2 in the morning. Inhibitions were lowered in the dead of night, making suicide seem so much simpler and easier than it should. Therefore, every attempt Ruby was able to thwart made her feel that much better about herself.

Not that it was only a confidence booster. Maybe it was also because Ruby, too, had attempted her own suicide at night. She would never really know why there was such a strong connection, but she didn't really have a place to complain anyway, so she tried to come up with ideas instead.

Now seated at her desk, Ruby brought up her computer and put on her headset, making sure she was ready to begin taking calls. It was rare to go a night without any, although the Vale hotline was distributed between her and three other operators. Penny—during the day—and Pyrrha—during the night—were the ones who received each call before forwarding it to whoever they thought the person would do best with. Even with Ruby's acclaimed "fame," she remained adamant her other employees had as equal an opportunity as her.

Perhaps that was another reason she was so well liked.

When she wasn't busy with a call, Ruby spent the time drawing or writing. Her desk was cluttered with random sketches or random stanzas of poetry. Her computer, meanwhile, was kept well organized as it not only helped her navigate calls—what steps are more beneficial to take regarding the caller's situation, when to call for police intervention, etc.—but had a complete retelling of her own attempt at death. Not so she could share it with the callers, as that was a violation of ethics, apparently—Ruby disagreed there—but because she was hoping to make a book out of it. It's not every day a person so far down as Ruby was, who attempted to take their own life and only failed by a hair—or so the doctors said—survived and turned their life around in such a stunning degree and so quickly. Yang had probed her to start writing, and once she did she found she couldn't stop.

There wasn't much of it right now; just a basic outline of the direction she wanted to go and a few pages here and there. She couldn't decide if she wanted to make it a novel of a character experiencing what she did, or if she wanted to make it purely autobiographical and tell it from her point of view. She figured inspiration would strike her when it seemed most fitting, so for now she was just writing down snippets of memories when they came to her.

"Call for you, Ruby!" Pyrrha's voice rang out through Ruby's headset.

Quickly clearing her desk and bringing up the list of steps and suggestions on her computer screen, Ruby put on a smiling face—despite knowing the caller would never see it—and documented the time.

"Thank you for calling the Vale Suicide Hotline!" she greeted in her standard form, her voice as light and uplifting as ever. "My name is Ruby! May I ask whom I'm speaking to?"

The night passed by in standard fashion. There wasn't an influx of calls, but the night wasn't unusually dead either. By the time Ruby was taking her first thirty-minute break six hours into her shift, she had taken a total of sixteen calls. None had been too interesting yet—though Ruby thought that always sounded bad, considering someone's suicidal instance more or less interesting than another's. Most of the time, people just called to have someone listen to their problems without passing any judgment. Some people found it refreshing to talk to a complete stranger and confide in them. Ruby could see the appeal in that, and wished she had known more about hotlines three years ago.

A knock on the break-room door caused Ruby to look up from her cell phone to see Pyrrha standing in the doorway. Ruby smiled.

"Hey, Pyr."

"I know you're on your break, Ruby, but someone's just called in and I think you'd be really good with her." Pyrrha looked uncertain, but still gave her a small smile. "Do you mind?"

"Pft, like I'm doing anything important right now," Ruby joked. "Tumblr's pretty quiet after midnight."

Jumping up from her seat, Ruby followed Pyrrha back to their desks.

"Do you know anything about this caller?" the redhead asked.

Pyrrha shook her head, a frown overcoming her usually friendly features. "She seems like she's in a bad place," she answered. "I wouldn't say police intervention will be necessary, but… I think she needs someone like you right about now."

Ruby grinned, putting her headset back on. "Well then, I better not keep her waiting! Thanks, Pyrrha!"

Pyrrha smiled again and nodded, mumbling a quick "Good luck," before retreating to her own desk.

Pressing the blinking red light on her desk phone, Ruby inhaled.

"Thank you for calling the Vale Suicide Hotline," she greeted, making sure to make her voice sound extra chipper. "My name is Ruby! And how are you tonight?"

There was immediately a scoff on the other end of the line as a bitter, yet svelte voice quipped, "Really? I'm calling you and you have the audacity to ask how I'm doing?"

Ruby merely shrugged, knowing better than to hold this caller's behavior against them in dark times such as these.

"Well, why do we always ask if someone's okay even after we just witnessed them get hurt right in front of us?" she returned. "Haven't you ever done that?"

A moment of silence passed on the other line and Ruby took comfort in the gentle—if not a bit ragged—breathing she could hear.

"Fine," the voice eventually huffed. "I'm doing abso-fuckin'-lutely great. That what you were looking for?"

Ruby couldn't stop the small chuckle that escaped her. "I wasn't looking for anything, necessarily; just an answer." Pausing briefly, she asked next, "May I ask for your name?"

"Why?" the voice huffed again. "So you can send the cops after me once I hang up to make sure I don't go off myself?"

"Not at all. I just like getting to know the people I talk to. Makes it seem more personable, you know?"

"Isn't the whole point of a hotline anonymity?"

"If that's what you want, then fine," Ruby explained. "I won't ask again."

Another moment's silence passed, but this time Ruby can hear the distance rumble of what sounds like traffic in the distance.

"Are you out?" she inquired.

"Maybe."

"Are you okay?"

"For the time being."

By then, Ruby couldn't help feeling slightly frustrated. This girl was giving her nothing to work with. Still, she tried to keep her patience in check.

"Do you want to talk about why you called tonight?" she tried next.

"My friend made me," was the grumbled response. "Said he wouldn't let me go home unless I did. Bastard's actually standing right next to me now. …Yeah, I'm talking about you, ass."

Ruby smiled. "Sounds like you have a good person looking after you."

Silence.

"I guess so."

"I know things may not seem bright and clear right now, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. That's why I'm here—why this hotline's here. If you ever need someone to talk to, someone who's a complete third party in all this, give us a call."

"You hanging up on me?"

"Not at all!" Ruby exclaimed with a small giggle. "I'll only hang up once you do. Will your friend be staying with you tonight?"

"Not if I have anything to say about it. …Yes, we're still talking about you."

Ruby smiled at the banter on the other line. Despite the façade she knew this girl was using when speaking to her friend, it was obvious she cared deeply for him. Ruby knew the act well: Keep everyone at arm's length in order to appear strong. But if Ruby had learned anything from three years ago, it was that this girl deeply appreciated her friend's being there and every action of his.

It was exactly how Ruby had felt with Yang.

Ruby spoke to the girl for a little longer, and after a while—and some apparent persuasion from the mystery guy with her—was able to learn a bit more about this caller. Apparently she was diagnosed with depression five years ago, but had been suffering from it much longer. Any medication she's been on hasn't helped so she goes off her meds repeatedly which only leads to a sudden drop in morale. Ruby attempted to testify the fact that she should always remain on her medication, even when it seemed like they weren't working. She pleaded with the girl to keep her friends close and tried to convince her that she knew how she was feeling.

"Yeah, right," the girl spat in a bitter tone. "I bet you have to say that to everyone 'cause it's in your job description."

"If that's what you need to think, then fine," Ruby replied in the same calm tone she had used the entirety of the call.

"Why do you keep doing that?"

Ruby blinked. "Doing what?"

"Saying something just to placate me?" the girl asked, and for the first time that night, Ruby heard the first bit of emotion from her. "Mercury does it all the time too, and I'm sick of it! Stop treating me like I'm defective! Stop acting like I'm a bomb to tiptoe around and that your next action, no matter how small, is going to set me off! I've been living in this shithole excuse of a life for a long time now and I haven't killed myself yet, so quit acting like I'm going to within the next five minutes!"

Stunned to silence for the first time that night, Ruby looked down at her hands in shame. "I-I'm sorry…"

"You fucking ass, this is all your fault!"

Ruby blinked again, and this time tears sprang to her eyes. "W-What?"

"Not you," the voice grounded out. "That last bit was meant for Mercury. You're just doing your job, right?"

Ruby nodded, not even caring that the girl wouldn't see it.

"Look, I've had enough of this for one night, and Mercury's finally going to let me hang up and go home," the girl said. "Apparently I've sated his concern for the night."

"Okay," Ruby mumbled, still a bit off kilter after the girl's outburst. "If you ever need to talk to someone who's not Mercury, though…"

"Yeah, call you; I know," the girl finished. "1-800-CALL-RUBY, got it."

Another giggle escaped Ruby at the girl's try at humor, and her spirits immediately began to lift. "There you go!" she exclaimed. "Humor! I'm liking that!"

"Bye, Ruby."

"Bye! Have a good night. Stay strong."

The call disconnected after that, yet Ruby took some comfort in listening to the dial tone for a moment after.

That was definitely going to be her most interesting call of the night.