Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, but by gum, I own the made-up spell card "Get Your Dongers," the effect of which is so disgusting it has me wanted in three states.

"Welp," said Joey as he sat a ball of crumpled and overdue electric bill in the commode and flushed it, "that's the last of 'em."

Serenity Wheeler, the sister, would have protested her brother's reckless and somewhat childish behavior, but she was stuck to the bathroom wall with duct tape. "Mmph," she said tactfully, and Joey had to stop and think about that. How DID it come to this…?

()()()

THREE WEEKS EARLIER

"More bills?!" Joey shouted. He turned the TV off and began thinking about non-sister things around the house he could sell. "Jeez, I thought we were supposed to pay this stuff once a month, what's happening?!"

"We're supposed to," sighed Serenity from the kitchen. She was making grilled silverfish wrapped in dead autumn leaves. "That doesn't mean we do."

"Well, I mean, that settles it!" Joey said. "You gotta get a job, sis!"

"Me?!" Serenity said. "You don't have a job either!"

"I win Duel Monsters tournaments!"

"Win?"

"I place second in Duel Monsters tournaments!"

"You place third!"

"Okay, now you're just splittin' hairs, sis."

Serenity rolled her eyes. "As long as Yugi and Kaiba keep entering the same tournaments as you, the chances of you winning one of those silly things are- well, the same as us paying the water bill with a bronze medal and cash prize of ten dollars."

"And a super rare!"

"AND a super rare."

Joey shrugged. "Sis, I gotta lay some truth on ya. I've invested so much time toward being good at this card game, I have no other marketable skills. I only got my diploma because I beat the principal of my high school at Duel Monsters, and I wake up from almost-sleepless nights in sheer amazement that I got away with it."

"There are jobs that don't require you to be book-smart, bro…" Serenity said patiently. She'd had just about enough of Joey's overtures to his own stupidity. It was just sad, like a Simple Plan song.

"There's not being book-smart, and then there's forgetting what a book even is. One time, I went to class and when the teacher told me to read out of the textbook, I started reading my no. 2 pencil." Joey sighed to himself, feeling like he was recounting the story of how his dog died. "Then the teacher called ME a no. 2, and he didn't mean the pencil."

The forlorn younger sister shook her aching head as she plated dinner. "Could you promise me you'll try?"

"Of course I will." He didn't. "If you do." He still didn't.

"Fine. We'll both get work."

So the job search began in earnest. Serenity completed a resume, went to unemployment offices, read newspapers and online classifieds, and worked on getting over her shy disposition long enough to make it through a job interview. Meanwhile, Joey scratched his balls and lost a duel against Kaiba. He didn't even have the decency to do those separately.

"Good news, big bro!" Serenity squeaked happily to the couch, because that's where Joey is 90 percent of the time. She wasn't wrong. "I have an important interview tomorrow!"

"Ah, gee, sis, that's great!" Joey said. "We can get the water turned back on! I need a shower."

"You won't take one when we DO get the water on."

"Yes, but I'll feel like I had a choice in the matter. Who're ya interviewin' with, anyways?"

"Kai-" Serenity stopped the name dead in its tracks. The memories came flooding back all at once. Why, even two days ago, Joey had been bitching about losing a tournament because of none other than Seto Kaiba, the Duel Monsters second-place champion and CEO of KaibaCorp, where her interview was taking place. She sniffed the air a little. The smell of ball-sweat was on Joey's fingertips. That means he had recently dueled- and presumably lost- to Seto Kaiba. "Ummm… Naiba…Norp?"

"…NaibaNorp?" Joey repeated.

"Yes. That."

"…Never heard of 'em. Ah, well. Knock 'em dead, sis."

Serenity should not have been surprised that worked, but she was. Before either she or Joey had any chance to ruin what had apparently been the perfect ruse from the former, Serenity ran up to her room, thanking the Gods, whoever they may be, that they spent all their time playing poker instead of giving Joey Wheeler intelligence.

"Alright, Roland," said Kaiba, "clear the field for the next duelists."

"With all due respect, Mr. Kaiba," replied trusty assistant Roland, "there are no duelists. You've been conducting interviews for the nanny position."

"They better be duelists," growled Kaiba. "I put that in the requirements for a reason. Everyone who's ever tried to kidnap Mokuba played Duel Monsters. If Mokuba's nanny doesn't know the game, I might as well hire a basset hound."

"…I'll send in the next duelists, Mr. Kaiba."

"Thank you, Mr. Not-Fired… for now."

Roland opened the door and motioned for the next candidate standing in the hallway. Not just any hallway, mind you- one of the many luxurious hallways in KaibaCorp. Serenity, with enough butterflies in her stomach and frogs in her throat to sustain most ecosystems, walked shakily into the room.

Right away, Kaiba was stuck by this particular prospective nanny's familiarity. "Sit down. I think I know you from somewhere."

Serenity did a very loud gulp. This was what she was afraid of. If Kaiba found out she was the sister of Joey Wheeler, there would be about as much chance of her being hired as a tree uprooting itself and fucking Vegeta and having a baby named "Ve-TREE-ta." "R-really? From where?"

"…School, I think." Serenity breathed a sigh of relief. The fact that Kaiba had yet to figure her out made her feel… well, serene, fittingly. "Yeah, I think you're right."

Kaiba was already bored of the small talk. He practically snatches Serenity's resume from her hands.

"So your name…" Kaiba's face froze. He looked comical, with his mouth locked open, but Serenity wasn't laughing. In the elation of having bested the young businessman, she'd forgotten that her full name- "Wheeler" and all- was right at the top of her resume!

TO BE CONTINUED