Matters of Family

Dawn graced Beacon. The morning chill swept away by the light, the birds began to fill the air with the sounds of Vale, and-

"We're all gonna die!", were the words they woke to, on this fine Tuesday.

The day had come. He knew it was coming, but the cold hard reality hadn't hit him till today. THIS DAY. THIS DAY. THE DAY. TOD-

"Jaune?", Ren slid aside his night cap.

"It's all over. There's no hope. We're SKEWERD!". Jaune was pacing madly about the center of the dorm, waving Crocea Mors as he twitched.

"...Are you...Oka-", Jaune cut him off and he pounced on the gunner, pinning him to the bed, and pressing a finger to silence him.

"Shh...", Jaune hushed, not breaking eye contact. "The walls have portals."

His eyes darted to the side, eying the cracked plaster just left of the door.

Choosing not to validate that response, Ren remained still, wondering what in the name of dust had his friend all worked up.

Suddenly, Jaune scurried off the bed, much akin to how a mole rat, scurries into its burrow. He disappeared beyond the edge of the bed.

Only the rustling of sheets, and the surprised "Ah!" of Pyrrha told him where he had gone off to.

"Pyrrha darling.", she was about to say something about it being too soon when he pressed a finger to her lips. "Shhh"

"Ah, Jaune...well", she let the last syllable roll of her tongue. The tint on her cheeks darkening, matching the tint of her pajamas. "If this is a dream don't wake me up."

"Shh", he pressed his finger to her lips again, using her blanket like some kind of hood.

"Pyrrha, sweetheart. I need to know something very, very important."

"Yes Jaune! Tak-", he suddenly took a hold of her face, lifting her into a sitting position.

"Do you perchance have the Shield of Ajax on hand? If not I'll need the Helmet of Hades. If you don't have either I'll settle for the Fleece? Nod if you have any of these items, if not shake your head. Also that shampoo you're using smells wonderful, apples. ", after a few moments she very slowly shook her head, his warm fingers giving little resistance.

"Lovely.", he pressed his lips against hers, and hopped off the bed. It was a very chaste peck, but Pyrrha's head went spinning, surprise clear on her face. Then she hit the pillow, a content expression on her face.

"NORA!", He over to her bed.

"Sghhk sghhk,", she awoke, her bed hair flying about the place like she was struck by lightning.

It took a few moments to register, but when the realization came, the smile that grew on her face was diabolical.

She stood up on the bed "IIIITTTT'SSSS MOR-", Jaune shoved her back under the covers.

"SHHHHH! The morning is evil. EVIL!", he said.

"It's all over. Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. We're all dead. Just us...and our inevitable gobsmacking.", he said between heavy breaths, punctuating syllables with meaningless hand gestures.

"Jaune, are you...coming on to me?", Nora narrowed her eyes slightly.

"Yes. NO!", he corrected himself quickly.

Pyrrha rose quickly from her stupor, with a surprising need to cause some bodily harm. With a smile that promised only pain.

But before she could act upon them, Jaune quickly handed Nora Manghild.

"Listen to me very carefully", he said, punctuating each word with a caress against Manghild's dust reinforced percussive face. "I need you, to hit me with her, very, very hard. So hard infact, that I end up in next week, or next month."

Nora smile unfolded her trusty explosive hammer, and reared up.

Sensing immediate harm to her man, and his more important bits, Pyrrha willed her semblance to chuck a stapler at Manghild. It hit Manglind mid swing, skewing the head farther up than intended.

BOOM.

Plaster and drywall flew everywhere, as Manghild tore a hole in the wall the size of an Ursa.

When the smoke cleared, everyone, including Team RWBY across the hall, and everyone else on this wing of the dorms, was awake.

"Aww. I missed.", Nora looked slightly dejected, chucking Manghild into the closet.

"Goodwitch is going to kill us.", Ren said flatly.

Pyrrha made her way over to Jaune, her not-so-fearless leader sitting in fetal position, rocking back and forth, a crazed look in his eyes.

Slowly, she leaned down and embraced him.

"Jaune. What's wrong.", he didn't answer her. Instead, he turned his head towards the desk beside his bed.

Pyrrha gave him one final assuring pat on the back, before getting up to see exactly what had Jaune so worked up.

When she got there, she found a letter. It was no ordinary letter, seeing as this was causing her leader some extraordinary grief. It was a simple envelope, sapphire in color, and a light yellow trim along the mouth.

She opened it, and found a GOLDEN letter. It wasn't so much that the letter was in the color of gold, or that the paper was reflective like gold. No, the letter itself was SOLID GOLD, the folds were joints made of papyrus, if the texture was anything to go by.

With some hesitance, she began to read the wording, carved into the tablets and laden with sapphire.

"This isn't so ba-", she kept reading.

"Oh.", she said.

Ruby chose this moment to walk into the room, through the hole manghild had punched into the hall.

"Hey guys, what's up.", she said, inspecting the truly magnificent damage that Nora had wrought upon the architecture.

"Wow, Goodwitch is going to kill you.", she observed.

"No, Ruby. We are already dead.", Jaune said.

"I'm sure she might viciously maim you verbally, but its not lik she can...kill you...I think.", Ruby said.

"Death by Goodwitch, is mercy.", Jaune said.

Ruby raised an eye brow, "Is he..."

"Going to be alright?", Ren finished.

"Maybe.", Nora said.

"Ha..haha...MHHAHAHAHAH!", Pyrrha cackled.

It was perfect, too perfect! This was her chance, if she won victory here, she could possibly hit home run. Finish the whole set, get the baker's dozen.

"Oh no. She caught the crazy.", Nora said.

"Oh no Nora, I'm not crazy.", Pyrrha said.

"She's lost it.", ren said.

"I'm going to meet his parents.", more mad cackling ensued.

[=]

Dear Jaune,

Thou hast gone far my wayward son. Far enough from the protection of our realm, and well beyond the reach of your father's wealth. Yet despite this distance, you have carved out your own path separate from us. At a fine school you have found yourself purchase in, and a finer profession doth thou pursue. You have brought much pride to the name Arc, and although thous't lord father will not admit, save for his own pigheadedness, he as well is proud of your deeds.

Still, you haven't spoken to us in ages, my son. Not a letter, nor a phone call. If I didn't know better, I would venture to say that you were avoiding us.

As such I've decided to pay a visit to the institution in charge of your tutelage. We'll arrive on the second Tuesday of Samhain. We look forward to seeing you.

Your loving mother,

A.P. Arc

PS. Your father insists on coming, as he insisted on writing the letter.