"Die! Die, just die! Everybody should die!" I saw the voice freaking out, not noticing me. It slowly turned around, forming a plan. It finally started laughing cruelly. It sped up towards me, tying me up. "I want the best for you, dear. Antonio was found in the bathroom of his home, he died of overdose. If you want him to be his same cheerful self, one more person. It won't be pretty." The voice paused for a moment. "Just in case..." The voice grew smaller, and forcibly entered my body again.

"Everybody has a voice, Alfred. Some never speak, only observe. You should be thankful I'm one of the better ones. This is for your own good!" The voice unplugged itself, deforming rapidly back into a puddle. "I am free." The voice evaporated into thin air. I have no voice to guide me now.

I wake up screaming, curling into a ball. My closest friends and my brother weren't there to comfort me. I began to question my actions. Is Kiku really worth it? I don't know him that well! The stored up feelings of guilt build up inside me until I spent the whole day away from school crying into my pillow. Is this what emotions feel like? Is this true sadness? Did the voice take away my emotions on purpose?

I couldn't answer the questions for now. A whole afternoon was wasted on this sorrow. A whole afternoon of regret. I couldn't take it.

"Alfred? Open the front door," A voice called from downstairs. I recognized it as Arthur's. He shouldn't be here. Regardless, I open the door for him.

He looked horrified at my appearance. With tears still streaming, I welcomed him in.

Arthur started speaking once we sat down, "Alfred, I'm worried about you. I know I haven't really seen your brother much, but he seems to have disappeared. And with all of the trio dying... Antonio never coming to school anymore, Gilbert jumping off the roof, and Francis hanging himself... I want to worry about you, but I'm really worrying about myself. I'm seeing more strange things." I tear up, actually feeling sorry for once in my life.

"Something keeps calling me. Telling me to break myself, hurt myself, tear myself apart. Alfred, I don't think I can keep going. I'm sorry about never being that nice or helpful like Francis. I'm sorry, but can we make it up together?" He started sniffling, "We can both see them again. We can do it right now, even." Arthur smiled, holding out a kitchen knife. "Let's die together, Alfred."

I felt like dying, I wanted to take that knife and plunge it right in my stomach. I couldn't. I grabbed the knife slowly. Something snapped in me. Maybe it was the impulsiveness of myself, but I took the knife and stabbed Arthur's torso. I finally cracked, I don't know what I would feel after, but I didn't care. I kept stabbing. "In and out," I whispered. Arthur looked up at me, his eyes growing darker, and his skin going paler. I feel his coldness. Arthur wasn't much to me, but at that moment, it caused something. Arthur Kirkland, dying in the early days of spring. His death has became mine.

I had went to sleep with disturbing images of death. If this was still me being cracked, the worst was over. I still held the knife in my hand, its blade making tiny cuts on my arms. I smiled, pain felt right for what all I have done. I knew someone would be suspicious of me. I knew I would be arrested. I didn't want to go. There was still dried blood on my clothes. That's okay. I didn't care anymore. My goal was clear in my mind. I needed to see Kiku. To hold him, just once.

I rushed to the school. I passed over the student's looks of surprise, some ran away even. I knew Kiku would be in the library. I don't know how. Did the voice come back to stop me, cheer me on, or observe?

Kiku saw me before I saw him. Bloody tears in my eyes, I embraced Kiku. I started crying into his uniform. I knew I was messing it up. "A-Alfred? Why are you bloody? Why are you crying?"

"Kiku, listen to me. I want to stay with you, but I have to go." I forced the knife in his hands. He looked shocked, looking around for anybody to notice this.

"Where do you have to go?"

I tried to point to the sky, but I knew I wouldn't belong there. I whispered, "I want to go home. End me right here, right now." I pleaded with him. I begged, almost.

"Alfred, you know I can't kill you. I won't. I'm calling the police!" He yelled and screamed for somebody. No, it can't end like this. It can't be. Did I make a wrong choice? At least I knew what to do after that. I tried to grab the knife out of his hands, while Kiku was hitting me over and over again. "Alfred, stop! You don't have to do this!"

"Yes, I do!" I finally took hold of the knife and guarded it greedily. Kiku was screaming loudly for me to cease, but I didn't listen. I started carving myself up, getting to the big finish. I watched as blood left me rapidly. I plunged the knife into my chest a few times, threw the knife on the ground. I saw schoolteachers try to stop me, along with a few students. I grabbed hold of Kiku, noticing he was warming me up from the coldness I felt from blood loss. My vision gave out for darkness.

I didn't need emotion for that moment. A flash of light focused on Kiku. All of the times I could've been with him, but didn't. My rage blocked out logic. Isaw Gilbert laughing with Roderich and Elizaveta, pulling Feliciano into the group. I saw Francis arguing with Arthur, like old times. I saw Antonio running across the soccer field, playing with Lovino, who was yelling at him. I saw Francis and Matthew finally stopping the awkward silence between them and mend their brother-like relationship.

And then I saw what Kiku was. Hanging out with Gilbert's younger brother, Ludwig and Feliciano. I felt rage. Kiku barely talked to me, yet they were his best friends. I was dumbfounded of all the good times Kiku had with then, and so very little that were spent with me.

I didn't see one image of me and Kiku.