Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Doctor Who. All the characters belong to their respective owners, making no money here.

A/N: I'm using some concepts that have come from the Buffy S8 comics. This is supposed to be a little comedic piece, but it may end a little sad. I'm also avoiding major spoilers from Doctor Who, for those who might not be caught up.

Still Using That

A crash sounded from somewhere up one of the Scottish castle's halls, and Buffy paused. Sure, this castle was just chock-full of people, so it was noisier than most castles were nowadays. But… there was something strange to the slayer about this crash. Her spidey senses were tingling, and she turned in the direction of the noise instead of heading toward the massive movie night that Andrew had planned in the Rec Room. She paused a few steps down the corridor, wondering if that, in itself, wasn't the reason she thought the noise was strange. After all, this would probably be the millionth time that she'd watched The Goonies or Labyrinth. And she knew that a lot of the girls were skipping out on this viewing.

Another noise echoed up the hall, and Buffy was determined. Something was off about this. It almost sounded like… like someone was breaking into a room. The slayer picked up her pace. Most of the girls were pretty open about their rooms, save for when they were sleeping. But it was seven at night… no one was asleep in this crazy place.

Now at a brisk jog, with another noise guiding her, Buffy's gut was screaming trouble at her. Something was off, really bad. And now that she was really paying attention, Buffy realized where she was at. A lot of the halls looked alike to her in the castle, but there was one that didn't. One that Buffy had deliberately picked so that she could find it quickly. At the end of this hall, the one that Buffy realized she was in now, was a room. A room that a combination of Willow and Andrew had set up just for one very special item: the Slayer's Scythe. Like a rock, it hit her.

Someone was trying to steal the damn scythe.

She was fully running, and she reached the hall in no time. But, once there, she saw three things all in the same moment. One, the door to the Scythe room was open. Two, the security measure had been disabled, re: broken. And three, there was a woman stepping out of the room with the scythe in hand.

To the woman's credit, she seemed just as surprised by Buffy as Buffy was by her.

"Oh," she said. "Well, this is unexpected. This castle was supposed to be abandoned three years ago."

Buffy blinked. The woman was foreign, sounding Giles-ish to her. Her skin was a light caramel color, and her hair was a wild mass of curls that the slayer could tell was almost beyond hope of controlling.

"So not abandoned. In fact, there are hundreds of vampire slayers all over this place," Buffy answered, her body going rigid in preparation for a fight.

"Really?" the woman said, more in amazement than fear. She glanced at a weird watch thing she was wearing, brow furrowed. Then, looking back up at Buffy, she asked, "This is the year 2005?"

Buffy blinked. She relaxed. This woman was not going to up and run. In fact, Buffy was sure that she was more interested in this conversation than trying to get past the slayer with the Scythe.

"Yeah," Buffy answered.

"And you've fought the Great One, then?"

"I've known a lot of things by that name, you're gonna have to be more specific."

The curly-haired woman's eyes widened. "Oh, if you don't know… well, then, spoilers."

"Who the hell are you?" Buffy asked.

The woman moved the scythe from her right hand to her left, extended her right one for a handshake. Buffy shook it once, her eyes never leaving the slayer weapon in case it was going to be used in a sneak attack. As it turned out, a handshake, in this case, was just a handshake.

"Professor River Song. I'm an archaeologist."

"Buffy Summers. And why are you taking my scythe?"

River sighed. "I don't suppose I'll be taking it now. Damn! This was going to be such a great find."

"Okay… Appreciate the not taking. But, again, why were you gonna take it in the first place?"

River grinned. "Spoilers, dear. But, I'll just tell you that I'll have to go and update a hell of a lot of things. My sources were three years off, at least."

Buffy's head was beginning to hurt. "Sources for what?"

"Ah!" River said, extending one finger into the air.

Buffy shook her head. "Let me guess, spoilers?"

"Yes. Now, I'm going to put this Scythe right back where I found it. And then I'm going to go."

Buffy stepped forward, taking the Scythe easily from River's grasp. The slayer shook her head.

"I'll take that. What with the suspicion and all."

"Right, right. Of course. Well, I'm leaving. Sorry to have bothered."

"Wait!" Buffy called as River began to reach for her watch thing. "I don't get it. You break in to take my Scythe, but then you give it back without a fight? I mean… huh? WTF?"

"I'm an archaeologist, dear. And while I have… bent the rules now and again, I can't take something that's still in use. Then the history would be gone. Time can be rewritten. It would lose all its value."

"You're from the future. And something's going to happen to us, the slayers, isn't it?" Buffy asked, hugging the Scythe close to her body.

River smiled and stepped forward, resting a comforting hand on Buffy's shoulder.

"It's complicated, Buffy. But… you're strong. You've proven yourself time and time again of being more than capable in a tough situation. Believe in that. Now, cheers. I've got to run."

River stepped back, tapped a button on her watch, and vanished. Just like that. Buffy had seen a lot in her life, so the vanishing wasn't what left her breathless. More, it was just like the presence of being that River had seemed to have. Like she knew so much that she couldn't speak of. From somewhere farther behind Buffy, more toward the Rec Room, she heard Andrew calling.

"Buffy! Buffy, the movie is about to start! What are you doing?"

Buffy glanced down at the scythe. Shaking her head, she returned it to the open room and turned around.

"Coming!" she called. Then, glancing behind, she shook her head.

This was why time travel movies were always such a pain in the ass.

End Notes: Originally, I was going to have Willow meet with River in this situation. But, just as I sat down to write this, I decided that Buffy talking with a woman who could travel through time would be more interesting. I also hope I did River justice. She was one was my favorite characters from Doctor Who. Hope you enjoyed!