Praise for a Coward

By Poe

Chapter One

The bitch was laughing. How could she be laughing? This was my son she was laughing with, with his ridiculous teenage human clothes, despite the fact that he was well past his younger years. But there Pan was, laughing away at something my son said, like it so funny, it was damn inspiring. This is my son we're talking about, the very one that hated me for not spoiling him like other human children. How could someone so bitter be the comedian it takes for Pan Son to laugh like that?

That wasn't all, either. The shy, darting glances, the hesitant contact and carefully constructed speech, it all added up to one gloriously obvious thing. They were flirting. Trunks, yes, at his age, was flirting with Pan, at a mere 17 years of age. And there was no denying it either, even a blind man could tell they were courting each other in a frenzy.

And what a union. Pan, an obsessive, tomboyish adolescent and Trunks, an older, mature man who should've gone off and married years ago. Trunks was considered "normal", and he was expected to fulfill all the duties of a "normal person". Instead, Trunks decides to flirt with Pan, granddaughter of my enemy, and niece of his best friend. Harmless fun? Ha!

She liked him, too, and if she cared to hide it, she wasn't doing a good job. She had started wearing more appealing clothing, and stopped wearing that bandana of hers entirely. Pan looked clean, prepared and presented. It was what she was presented for that horrified me. But to be honest, I wasn't complaining about her appearance. It was a blissful torment, but not enough so that it would make me wish she had continued to hide her once covered skin. The sight of her, so young, so pale and fragile, still vicious and untamed, but porcelain inside. It was something those tomboy outfits hadn't shown as clearly.

Moreover, her attitude changed. She was more feminine, as feminine as Pan Son could be, and kinder. She cared for Trunks, I could tell, more than he cared for her. To her, he was much more than a passing fancy. In the twisted corners of her teenage mind, I'm sure she thought of him as a marriage prospect. I shudder at the thought.

"Yeah, my uncle's a pig," I hear her say. Trunks laughs and reaches out his hand. Is he going to do what I think he is?

Yes.

He… ruffles her hair.

I fill my soul lurch forward in disgust. Here I am, a perfectly suitable mate (ok, a perfectly suitable older mate), and Pan chooses to socialize with someone who makes it a priority to engage in disgusting displays of affection. Affection is such an unnecessary, human thing, acts designed to make the receiver feel loved and worthy. The Saiyan way of making a person feel loved was far better, and not to mention more convenient. But of course, it wasn't something someone as young and innocent as Pan could appreciate or even think about for a few more years.

"I guess it runs in the family," Trunks responded, as though it were witty. Pan responded with play anger, punching him in the arm.

"Hey! You're more of a pig than I am!"

Had it been possible, my ears would've bled at the meaningless exchange of the conversation. The best way to establish who was a "pig" would be through a good spar, or at least a few good hits.

I felt the best thing to do would be to leave, listening to this was painful. And yet I could not tear my eyes away from Pan. I knew that there was more to her than the stupidity she was exerting in the conversation. Even though she was young, so much younger than I, I found myself attached to her even as I pulled away.

Of course, I would will it any other way. It wasn't easy for me to be interested in someone who was not even half my age. Especially someone who had feelings for my son. Feelings I wished I could just gut out with a knife and replace with fondness towards me.

And anyway, what was so damn appealing about Trunks Breifs?

Although, perhaps that is a given. He is my son, after all.

"I'm a guy, what do you expect?" Trunks responds, rubbing his arm like her punch actually inflicted pain. A womanly gesture.

"Point taken," she jests, crossing her arms. I realize that the conversation has exhausted itself, and am curious as to what will happen next.

"Which reminds me," Trunks starts, "I've been meaning to ask you something."

Her eyes widen. "Really? What is it?"

"Well, you know how we always used to do things together, you, me, and Goten?"

He expression falters a bit over the name Goten. "Yeah?" she asks, anticipating.

"Well, why don't we get together and do something like we used to? Maybe not a spar, but-"

"A spar would be fine," she interrupts.

"What?"

"I would love to spar, and I'm sure Uncle Goten wouldn't mind."

"           Well, sparing is always fun, but are you sure that it would be… appropriate?"

"What?" she asks, raising an eyebrow, "You aren't up for the challenge?"

He pauses, a smirk creeping over his face. "Me? Not up for a challenge? Fine then, Pan Son, a spar it is."

"Good. Then it's settled."

"Vegeta!" I heard a female voice shriek, interrupting the conversation I was so reluctantly overhearing. Trunks and Pan's heads jerked over to me.

"Oh, Vegeta, I didn't notice you were here," Pan commented, "And who's that?"

I could see a vein in Trunk's forehead threaten to pop out. "It's mother. She's on one of her rampages again."

"Vegeta!" Bulma shrieked again.

"Tell the wench that I am not to be ordered around like a child," I said, scowling without even realizing it. I feel something akin to happiness if it meant never seeing her again. The whore betrayed me,

and I wanted no part in a relationship with her if she decided to

tear it to pieces.

"Tell her yourself," Trunks said, "She's storming her way here."

Now my patience was running thin. "If it's prey she wants," I started, turning around as I spoke, "than she'll have to catch it."

            I could feel Trunks raise a brow even as I walked away, my back turned towards him. I couldn't just stand there and wait for her to harass me, I was sick of that. If they considered me a coward, then so be it. There wasn't a chance in hell I would  tolerate another one of her outbursts.

            "You have an interesting family, Trunks," I heard Pan say cynically.

            Interesting family? She had no idea.

            Bulma didn't bother to hunt me down. She checked the kitchen, the gravity room, and the bathroom, the three places she thought I lived in. I'm far less predictable than people presume me as.

            After I heard her calling for me, if you can call it calling, I calmly left for the one place I had been planning to go for a few days. A human city nearby, the place I felt I needed to visit ever since I realized I had feelings for Pan. Hopefully seeing the grime and grunge of a human populace would make me reconsider, and I would revert back to my Saiyan ways.

            I tried not to think of why Bulma was calling me, or even of her to begin with, but I didn't think I would have much success. I was tired of arguing with her, because by the end of it, I hated myself for even giving her a second thought. Of course, by the end of an argument I hated her as well, but it seemed the self-loathing was stronger. I hoped that my disgust for human life would take my mind off of her.

            Unfortunately, out of all the places to go in a city, I sat atop a building. It was where I could be alone, how I always belonged. A city, it seems, is washed clean and turned to a field of light and life from 20 stories up. From up there, I couldn't see the litter, the foul masses, and all the other atrocious things associated with human cities. What I saw instead were slow, traffic obeying dots of light that were cars, looming concrete structures that were almost majestic, and absolutely no people.

            The world seemed better that way.

            As I stared at the view, I thought about what had driven me to where I was. Bulma. I can't say that I'm still not attracted to her, and that I still feel something like longing tugging at me, but it was shame of that longing and everything else I felt about Bulma that brought me to this hideout. I still want her, as much as I hate it, I still want her to be that life-giving substance she was before.

            Now, she was a mate that betrayed me.

            The thought of the betrayal makes my stomach churn, and my thoughts turn elsewhere. I'm the fucking prince of Saiyans, you don't cheat on the prince of Saiyans. As much as I tried to convince myself that it was her flaws that caused this and not mine, I still feel that part of my being slip away. Slip away to that realm of shame and self-pity, where I wonder if it was my fault.

            And then I found Pan.

            How strange that I develop these feelings for her, and so quickly after Bulma's betrayal. But it happened, even though I resist it as much as I can, and I know exactly how it happened.

            What drew me to her was not the fact that she was a child, I am no pedophile, I can assure you of that. What drew me to her was watching her change into a woman. And, as I mentioned before, this happened more after Trunks and her began to court each other, enflaming my jealousy and making me attracted to her even more.

            I looked at her and wondered why I ever liked Bulma when I oculd have her. She was so much more, something new and exotic, young and ready for life. There was some perversion behind my attraction towards Pan, of course, but I was a man, after all. I clung fast to these growing feelings, hoping that they would make me forgot about Bulma.

            And as I recount this, I cannot stress, just how much of an idiot I feel like.

            I shouldn't need women. Bulma, Pan, and all the other damn women in the world should only be of use to me in the bedroom. That was the way it had been for many years of my life, and that's the way it should remain. But instead, I sat on a building in a human city, thinking about where things went wrong in my relationship, and just having come from spying on my son and new love interest flirt with each other. This wasn't ironic, this was pathetic.

            What I should be doing is thinking of a solution. A way to get them both out of my life. I wanted to forget about them both, so I had to find a way to do it. I hated this affliction, and there had to be a way to exterminate it.

            Yes, in due time, I would find a way to forget and move on. And then, perhaps, I could go back to my old ways of blowing things to pieces, fighting with new enemies, and never stopping to notice women as anything other than a tool.

            Perhaps I could make Pan attracted to me and then throw her away. Seducing her would take practically no effort on my part, I was still handsome, especially for my age. And she was, after all, in love with my son, so how hard could it be to get her to like someone as stunningly attractive as me?

            Yes, I would consider than plan.

            But in the meantime, I had a city to critique.