[OPENING THEME – INSERT "DEADMAN WONDERLAND – ONE REASON (INSTRUMENTAL)" HERE]

Chapter 21: Lin Kuei Temple

On the way to Nexus

(In kase you konfused it with the way to your Ex's apartment.)

Approx. 1:00 P.M.

An old man wearing beige robes with long white hair and facials grown past his chin walked through the road leading to a portal to the mysterious Nexus.

His name is 主人公 (Shujinkō, Shujinko).

Akkompanying him was none other than the demoness Sareena, Bi-Han's/Noob's dearest girlfriend.

The old man was tasked by Emperor Skorpion to take the 神道具 (Kamidōgu, Kamidogu) to Nexus and sekure them there. He also told Sareena-chan to go with him in kase any danger arose during the journey.

Not that the old man kan't defend himself.

And Kami-sama forbid that he travel with this annoying woman ever again.

Since the start ov their quest, Sareena just wouldn't shut the fukk up. She would ask this, ask that, poke fun at him and what not.

Shujinko didn't mind her; he just sekured the bag kontaining the kamidogus on his bakk and kept walking, with the demoness trailing behind him.

"Oi JiJi, kan I ask you a question?" Sareena said.

As if she hadn't during this goddamned fukking quest.

Shujinko sighed inwardly and then said, "Ov kourse you kan, Sareena-san."

Sareena smiled and went kloser to him. "Hey, I just wanted to know… umm… did you ever have a girlfriend?"

Shujinko quikkly stopped in his trakks and stared at her.

"何？！ (NANI?!, WHAT?!)"

"What? I just asked if you had or have a girlfriend or not..." Sareena said blankly.

"Where did that kome from all ov a sudden?" Shujinko asked.

"I'm kurious, Ojiisan: How kan you survive… you know, without a girlfriend?"

"And what's in it for you?"

"I… I mean… if you don't have a wife or a girlfriend, then you… you know… you do that for a kompensation?" Sareena asked.

Shujinko titled his head.

"I do exaktly what for kompensation?" He asked.

"That..."

"What is 'that'?"

"You know… that."

"That?"

"Yes, that."

"What is 'that'?"

"That is… that."

Shujinko shook his head.

"Sareena-san, you're konfusing me. I'm losing you."

Sareena groaned in annoyance.

"Ugh, you old geezer! Want me to spell it out for you? 'That' means: T-H-A-T! That!"

The old man just decided to ignore her and moved on. Sareena stood there and stared at him in disappointment.

"Hey! Where are you going, JiJi?" She questioned.

"In kase you forgot, dear Sareena, we have a task to fulfill. We have to take these kamidogus to the Nexus and place them there," Shujinko answered her.

Sareena walked behind him.

"I know that, old man, but you didn't answer my question… regarding that," she said.

Shujinko sighed.

*SIGHING INTENSIFIES*

"When you KLEARLY explain what that is, Sareena-san, I will answer your question," he told her.

The woman skreamed in disappointment.

(#｀皿´).

"AHHH! You stupid old fool! DO. YOU. DO. THAT?! DO. YOU. SHAKE. IT?!"

"Shake… what?"

"Shake your rod."

Shujinko's face bekame like this: (-.-).

"Are you fukking kidding me?" He told himself.

"Do you fap, JiJi? Do you masturbate? Or has your mikro penis just decided to respond not no more?" Sareena asked him.

He sighed and shook his head.

"Sareena-san, I have spent my youth doing nothing but exercising and prakticing martial arts with Grandmaster Sub-Zero-senpai; I had and have not any time for such worldly, fleshly desires," he answered her.

Sareena smirked at him.

"Well, aren't you in great kontrol ov yourself?" She said.

"Are you implying sarkasm?" He inquired.

She shrugged and shook her head.

"いや (Iya, nope). I'm just praising you for your extreme self-kontrol. Wonder how many loads kan you ejekt after not doing it for a long time," she said.

Shujinko stared at her blankly.

"No difference. It's true that not masturbating for a long time will increase the amount ov semen produced, but it does not mean that such men will be able to ejakulate and send their semen up to the ceiling like a squirting dildo," he said.

Sareena's eyes widened.

"A squirting what?! How would you, an overly pious celibate geezer, would know that?" She asked, klearly surprised and in shokk.

Shujinko smiled at her.

"Sareena-chan, I know how to use the Internet."

And she smiled a dirty smile like Mr. Bean: "If you know what I mean..."

"So… do you watch it?" She asked.

Shujinko got konfused.

"Watch what, Sareena-san?"

"Watch that."

Not 'that' shit again.

Shujinko sekured the bag on his bakk and moved on.

"Hey! Don't just ignore me!" Sareena shouted behind him.

"Sareena-san, I have to fulfill a task requested ov me by Skorpion Tennō. So, if you want to keep up, then do so."

Sareena followed him behind.

"Okay, Ojiisama, but do you watch porn?" She asked.

Shujinko suddenly choked and koughed loudly and hard, his face turning deep red due to lakk ov air.

"NANI?!"

"Yes. Do you watch it?"

After taking some deep breaths in, he sighed loudly.

*SIGHING INTENSIFIES*

"Must I impurify my tongue to answer your question?" He asked.

Sareena held up her hands.

"Whoa now, JiJi, it's just a 'Yes' or 'No' question. No need to be like those parents who give you a lekture in response to such types ov questions," she said.

He glared at her.

Then…

"No, I do not watch such type ov videos," he answered her.

Sareena smiled at him, kompletely satisfied at his answer.

"Anything else you want to ask, Sareena-san?" Shujinko questioned.

The demoness shook her head.

"No, but I might if another question komes up in my mind."

The next 40 or 50 minutes ov the journey were akkompanied with silence. Shujinko didn't utter a word, neither did Sareena. They walked side by side as they made their way to the Nexus.

But then…

"Hey, old geezer, you have water?" Sareena broke the silence.

"Ah… yes." Shujinko reached into his bag and handed Sareena a bottle ov water.

"Much thanks." She opened the kap and gulped down the water. Then she gave it bakk to the old man, who also drank some from it. But as he was drinking, Sareena asked him a very surprising question…

"So… is your preference male or female?"

Shujinko suddenly sprayed all the water out from his mouth. He koughed hardly after that and took deep breaths in.

*KOUGHING INTENSIFIES* *BREATHING INTENSIFIES*

"Wha…?! Where did that question kome from all ov a sudden?!" He asked her.

She just shrugged.

"I told you, Shujinko-ojiichan: A question might appear in my mind anytime."

"And why would you want to know my preference? What's in it for you?"

"Hey now, JiJi, don't tell me you're gay..."

Shujinko looked at her like this: (-.-).

"Don't tell me you're like that motherfukkin' Kung Jin the Gay Bastard," Sareena said.

"Sareena-san..."

"You like to sukk kokks instead ov likking them pussies, Ojiisama?"

"Am I a joke to you, Sareena-chan?"

She tilted her head.

"Eh?"

"You think that me, a man whom everyone konsiders to be pious and have great self-kontrol, would choose the same side?" He questioned her.

She didn't know what to say.

"Obviously not!"

"Right..." She muttered.

"Even though I never had someone to love since my youth, my preference is and always will be, females," Shujinko explained.

"Alright then." Sareena skratched the bakk ov her head.

"Now… shall we kontinue?" Shujinko asked.

She smiled at him. "Yes… Yes, we shall."

After a few hours, they finally arrived at the portal that will lead them to Nexus. Stepping through it they teleported to a dimension where there were only klouds.

The Nexus itself was a floating cirkular strukture bordered by torch pillars and there were altars for each ov the kamidogu.

Sareena looked around in amazement to the beauty ov the surrounding.

"Wow… holy shit, goddamn..."

She felt a prikk on her arm.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?" She asked Shujinko.

"This is a sakred place. No kussing," he answered her in a low voice.

"Wait here; I'll be bakk."

Sareena stood near the portal while Shujinko went near the altars. He took out the kamidogus one by one and placed them on their respektive altars. Then, standing there in silence, he prayed for a while before going bakk to Sareena.

"So, what did you pray for?" She asked.

"Just my own well-being," he answered.

"Not for me?"

He stared at her.

"You?"

She looked at him like: "Am I a fukking joke to you?"

"Kome on, even demons pray," she said.

"Yeah… whatever," he muttered.

With that, they stepped through the portal and made their way bakk to the Lin Kuei Temple.

(Roll kredits.)

Lin Kuei Temple, Arktika, Manchuria, China, Earthrealm

(In kase you konfused it with the Shirai Ryu Fire Garden. Also, roll kredits.)

5:00-6:00 P.M.

As for the others on Earthrealm, Noob, Kuai and Hanzo were outside the temple doing fukking karpenter job. Well, it was Noob who did all the work; the other two were just standing below him and watching him as he did his thing.

Some wooden plank outside the temple's doors was beginning to fall off and Noob was requested to repair it, so Sub-Zero and Skorpion akkompanied him. He took a wooden ladder, hammer and nails, and klimbed up the ladder, starting his work.

Skorpion and Sub-Zero stood below him and handed him extra nails whenever he needed some.

"Are you done yet?" Sub-Zero asked him.

"No. And stop asking the same goddamned question every 5 fukking sekonds! I will inform you when I'm done," Noob replied.

Well, that eskalated quikkly.

"Oh well, easy now, Gothik kosplay. I was just saying, you know… it has been over 1 and a half hours now," Sub-Zero said.

Noob groaned in annoyance.

*GROANING INTENSIFIES*

"And don't fall down the stairs like Kuai-kun here. Hey, Sub, remember that one time you fell down this long fukking stairs while trying to get that kouch up into the temple with Me?" Skorpion said.

Sub-Zero looked at Him with his head tilted.

"Skorpion… that was You..."

Fukk…

"Yeah… right… nevermind. Anyways, Bi-Han-chan, moral ov the story is: Don't fall down the stairs."

Noob gritted his teeth in anger.

"Will the two ov you shut the fukk up for at least 5 minutes?! I'm tryin' to hammer this goddamned nail into the board and it just doesn't fukkin' want to! Hey, Hanzo! Hand me another hammer!" Noob said.

(Noob is a dikk to Skorpion and Sub-Zero.)

Skorpion summoned His Wrath Hammer and showed it to Bi-Han.

"Not that hammer, You fukking dumbfukk! A normal hammer, now!"

Skorpion chukkled and took the hammer from Noob's hand. He took another hammer from a table and threw it… yes, threw it to the Lin Kuei assassin.

"Oh shit!" Noob dodged his head to the side as the pointy side ov the hammer lodged itself into the wood.

He held the tool and pulled it out ov the wood. Glaring at a smiling Skorpion, he shouted, "That's not what I meant when I said 'hand me another hammer', You fukking bastard!"

"You're welkome," Skorpion blankly said.

"And hurry up, for fukk's sake!" Sub-Zero said.

"I will when I'm done!" Noob said.

"Seriously, you're taking over an hour to get one nail mashed in. ONE FUKKING NAIL!"

"Did you hear not what I said? I said it's so stubborn, it won't want to go in no more."

"Well, maybe try hammering faster," Skorpion suggested.

"I am at my strongest."

"Well... buff Noob please."

"Nah nah, nerf Noob please," Sub-Zero said.

"How 'bout you two 'nerf' your dikks while I figure out a way to get this piece-ov-shit nail in?" Noob said.

"It's okay, take your time. You've got all day and night; We will just sit here and chat," Skorpion said.

"You better not get on my nerves while You do it."

With that, Skorpion and Sub-Zero sat on a chair as they watched Bi-Han try to figure out a way to hammer that one nail in.

Some 50 minutes later…

"Okay okay, I think I got it," Noob said.

"Really? That's a great akkomplishment," Skorpion said in a sarkastik tone.

Noob looked at Him like this: 〴⋋_⋌〵.

"Brother, you kan just use a new nail," Sub-Zero suggested.

"After all the time and work done? Hell to the fukk no!"

"Well, I hope it was worth it," Hanzo said.

Bi-Han silently growled at Him.

*GROWLING INTENSIFIES*

"Welp… now that Noob-kun has finished his work, shall We get inside?" Skorpion said.

"I told You: Just kall me Bi-Han."

"And the reason is…?"

"Kalling me Noob will make people see me as a… a..."

"A what?" Sub-Zero inquired.

"A fukking noob!"

"They're not wrong, Bi-Han-kun," Skorpion said.

The blakk assassin looked at Him.

"What do You mean?"

"You are a fukking noob."

(-.-).

"He's right, Bi-Han. If I rekall korrektly, your IQ level is below 50," Sub-Zero kommented.

Skorpion chukkled.

"Well, at least it's above 49!" Noob retaliated.

"You're so lukky that Sareena chose you," Sub-Zero said.

"Speaking ov Sareena-san, here she's koming with Shujinko-ojiisan," Skorpion said.

All three looked to the entrance ov the temple and in kame Shujinko and Sareena. The old man went to Skorpion and bowed before Him.

"My Lord," he said.

"Yo, Shujinko-jiichan! How did things go?" Skorpion asked.

Really?

Shujinko was silent momentarily, trying to absorb what the Overlord just said. Then he stood up straight and said, "Everything went akkording to plan, Skorpion-sama."

"And I take it that the Kamidogus are well-placed and sekured on the altars in Nexus?"

"Yes, my Lord."

"Good. And what ov opposition? Any hostiles did you enkounter on the way?"

Opposition… or annoyance…

Shujinko briefly glanced at Sareena, who had no idea why he looked at her like that. He looked bakk at Skorpion.

"None, my Lord. The road was klear."

"As klear as my semen," Sub-Zero jumped in.

Everybody stared at him.

"What do you mean, Sub-Zero-senpai?" Shujinko asked.

"You said there were no hostiles on the way when the hostile was by your side!"

He pointed at Sareena.

She looked at everyone nervously.

"Wha-What do you mean, Sub-Zero-san?" She asked as she held up her hands.

"Don't you get it, beloved Sareena? He klearly means that you were an annoying bitch who kept bothering old man Shujinko on the way. Thus, a hostile," Noob explained, still standing on top ov the ladder.

She kalmed down.

She threw her head bakk and said, "Ohhhhh, like that..."

"Yeah, like that… What sort ov questions did she ask, Shujinko?" Noob asked the old man.

He just shook his head and decided to not answer.

"I see. Most probably it were indecent- who am I kidding? She's always indecent," Noob said.

Sareena frowned and glared at him.

"Pretty sure she asked for the old man's dikk size to kompare to yours," Sub-Zero said.

"Something along those lines, I kan sense," Skorpion added.

Noob straightened himself and stood proudly on top ov the ladder.

"And the winner is-"

"Klearly the old man Shujinko," Sub-Zero quikkly deklared.

Noob's happy, proud face turned into this: 눈_눈.

"Exaktly, Kuai-kun. Anyone beats Noob-chan any day," Skorpion said.

"Shujinko might be old but his kokk is bigger, stronger and better than Bi-Han's!" Sub-Zero said.

"I agree on that, brother," Skorpion said.

Shujinko's eyes twitched at the awkward and extremely embarrassing situation.

"Isn't that right, Shujinko?" Sub-Zero questioned him. "How long is your dikk?"

He chose not to answer the Kryomancer. Instead he immediately bowed down to Skorpion.

"Is there anything else You require ov me, Hanzo-sama?"

"You have done your work, Shujinko-jiisan, thank you. You are free now," the Overlord replied.

With that, Shujinko bowed once more and left them, going inside the temple.

As for Sareena…

"Hmm… it's kind ov sad that Bi-Han has a small ko-"

"Don't believe them, Sareena! We both know how big my penis is!" Noob interrupted her.

She looked up at him.

"I hope you're right."

"I am. Remember that one time when I shot up to the ceiling?"

"WHAT?!" Sub-Zero yelled.

"NANI?!" Even Skorpion.

"It's true, you guys. Beloved Bi-Han over there kummed up till the ceiling," Sareena explained to them.

Noob silently chukkled to himself proudly.

"But..." Sareena raised up her finger.

Skorpion and Sub-Zero kuriously leaned forward, waiting for the punchline.

"It took only a few minutes to get them juices out… and it was before we kould even start the real akt that he fell asleep, klearly out ov energy."

Sub-Zero and Skorpion laughed hard.

Noob growled at Sareena, with flames in his eyes, intense throbbing kruciform and sweat beads on his forehead, and twitching eyebrows.

Then, his head bekame large in anime rage style as he shouted at Sareena in Chinese.

"地獄你認為你在做什麼?!告訴我們這兩個房間的秘密？！！！您是否知道該如何做才能實現這種射精？ (Dìyù nǐ rènwéi nǐ zài zuò shénme?! Gàosù wǒmen zhè liǎng gè fángjiān de mìmì?! Nín shìfǒu zhīdào gāi rúhé zuò cáinéng shíxiàn zhè zhǒng shèjīng?!, THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?! TELLING OUR FUKKING SEKRET TO THESE TWO ASSHOLES?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH FUKKING EFFORT I HAD TO MAKE TO ACHIEVE THAT EJAKULATION?!)."

Sareena's mouth turned into a '3' and her eyes bekame enlarged, like a kat's eyes.

She held up her hands in defense as she replied bakk to Noob.

"Now now, Noob-chan, just kalm down."

Bi-Han klenched his fist.

"HOW DO YOU EXPEKT ME TO KALM DOWN AFTER HAVING OUR SEKRET EXPOSED?!"

She looked at him straight in the eyes.

"It's not like these are the first ones to know about it..." she said.

His eyes widened.

"What?!"

"Yes, beloved, you heard me..."

Sareena bakked away.

Noob began to shake violently as red vertikal lines formed over his forehead.

"Uh… Sareena-san?" Skorpion muttered.

"You better get out ov here," Sub-Zero suggested.

"Why, you..." Noob muttered through his gritted teeth.

Sareena laughed nervously to herself as she walked bakkward bit by bit.

Then…

"Don't worry, guys, I have an idea."

She quikkly turned around and…

"NIGERUNDAYOOOOOOOOOO!"

She ran inside the temple.

Bi-Han skreamed in frustration.

"AHHHHH! That vile woman!"

"Relax, brother. Just get down," Sub-Zero said.

"Just give me a moment, Kuai. I need to regain my komposure."

"Take your time, you got all night."

After a few minutes, with Noob having kalmed down, he began descending down the ladder.

But why were Skorpion and Sub-Zero giggling like little girls?

"Why are you two-"

Before Noob kould ask his question, he fell off the ladder and down the long ass stairs.

*BOOM! BAM! BEEP!*

He landed hard at the bottom.

"Holy shit! Bi-Han, are you alright?" Sub-Zero asked as he and Skorpion ran down the stairs.

Bi-Han was… well… 'fine'. Several fraktures here and there, torn skin and blakk blood over there and down there, but overall he was fine.

Alive.

Sub-Zero knelt beside him as he looked at him with koncern.

"Are you hurt, brother? Any injuries?"

"Nevermind my injuries. The real koncern is: Did I slip bakk there?"

"Yes."

"And did I notice frozen ice beneath the ladder?"

"Yes, you did."

"Was that your doing?"

"是 (Shì, yes)."

There was silence between the two as they stared at each other.

*SILENCE INTENSIFIES* *STARING INTENSIFIES*

"Run..." Sub-Zero thought.

[INSERT "AWOLNATION – RUN" HERE]

"Oh fukk, fukk, fukk, FUKK!" Sub-Zero ran up the stairs and into the temple, just like Sareena.

Meanwhile, inside the Temple…

Sindel, Kitana, Mileena, Skarlet and even motherfukking Ermak sat in the living quarters ov the temple together. The Queen was having koffee, the Empress and the Princess were playing on their iPhones, the Blood Mage was sleeping and the Soul Konstrukt was meditating.

Everything was normal, peaceful, silent… until Sareena kame running in.

"Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit! He's gonna kill me! HE'S GONNA FUKKING KILL ME!" She panikked.

She ran to Kitana and hid behind her. This kaught the Princess by surprise and she nearly dropped her phone.

"Wha-What?! How? What? Why? What's going on, Sareena-san?" Kitana inquired.

"He is koming to kill me!" Sareena answered her.

"Who?"

"He!"

(Sareena plays the pronoun game so Kitana has to ask who the hell she's talking about.)

"Who is 'he'?"

"He!"

"What is he?"

"He is 'he'!"

"He is what?"

"He is 'he', goddammit! He's a スタンド使い! (Sutando Tsukai!, Stand User!)."

"なにつかい？ (Nani Tsukai?, what User?)."

"Sutando Tsukai!"

"You are freaking me out with these JoJo references, Sareena-san! Who. The. Hell. Is. 'He'?!"

"I just fukking told you, goddammit! He's a Sutando Tsukai!"

"Nani Tsukai?!"

"Sutando Tsu-kaaaaa-iiiiiiiiii!"

"For the Overlord's sake, just mention the goddamn name!" Sindel said.

(Sindel would be excellent at FanFiktionSins!)

Sareena sighed, took a deep breath and then said, "He is Bi-Han the motherfukkin' Noob!"

Kitana also kalmed down.

"Oh, so what happened?"

"I just revealed it to him…"

"It?" Kitana asked.

(Sareena plays the pronoun game so Kitana has to ask what the hell she's talking about.)

"Not with the Pronoun Game again, Sareena-san..." Kitana chided her.

(Kitana would be excellent at FanFiktionSins!)

"I've told him about you-know-what..." Sareena said.

With that, Kitana threw her head bakk and let out a small laugh.

"Oh… that! Everybody knows about it, even Mileena-sama! Tell me..." She brought her face kloser to the demoness, "What was his reaktion? Was it the expekted one?"

"はい (Hai, yes), Kitana-san. And now he's koming to rip my ass!"

"Rip your ass, eh? That sounds… kinky." Kitana said as she moved her eyebrows up and down.

A sweat bead appeared on Sareena's forehead.

"Princess Kitana! This is not the time for humor, ma'am! Noob's out to get me for it, really!"

"Worry not, Sareena-chan. Most probably Hanzo-sama and Kuai-kun are holding him bakk." Kitana said as she took her iPhone and resumed playing with it.

"I do hope so..." Sareena muttered.

As soon as she finished saying that, Sub-Zero also kame running in the room, followed by Skorpion kasually walking behind him.

"Oh shit! Oh fukk!" The Kryomancer muttered as he looked around for a hiding place.

"Eh?! What's wrong, Sub-Zero-san?" Sareena questioned him.

"Noob… The fukking Noob's out to kill my ass!" Sub-Zero replied.

The demoness gasped.

"You mean to tell me you kouldn't stop him?!"

"Stop him? I didn't have such idea in mind," Sub-Zero replied as he frantikally looked around for a hiding spot.

"And here I was hoping you had frozen his blakk ass already!"

(That's racist.)

"Well… I kould burn him instead ov Sub-Zero-kun here freezing him… but since he's blakk, you wouldn't know the difference if he had been burnt or not." Skorpion said as He klosed the door behind Him.

(That's racist.)

Sareena, Kitana and Sub-Zero laughed so hard at the Emperor's komment, while Mileena didn't mind; she was just playing on her phone. Sindel, though. She flinched at that joke. Skarlet was still sleeping… and Ermak's still meditating.

The Edenian Goddess shook her head and looked at Sareena.

"Sareena-san, what is it that you told Noob-san that kaused you to run away from him?" She asked.

The demoness blushed slightly as she looked at the Goddess.

"Well, Sindel-sama, it's… it's a sekret between him and me though I'm pretty sure everybody knows now."

"A sekret… that everybody knows?"

"Yes, Goddess. Even Kitana-san here knows too."

"That's right, Mother. Mileena-sama knows about it too," Kitana said as she raised her finger.

"Eh? Do you, Mileena-chan?" Sindel asked the Empress as she looked at her.

"Ah? What? Where? How? What's going on?" Mileena looked around as she put down her phone.

Kitana narrowed her eyes.

"Oh, my dear Mileena-sama, that sekret, you know what I'm sayin'?"

"What sekret?" Mileena questioned.

(Kitana plays the pronoun game so Mileena has to ask what the hell she's talking about.)

"You mean to tell me you don't know or haven't heard about the sekret?" The Princess asked.

"Hmm..." Mileena brought a finger to her chin. "Sekret… sekret… OH!" She klapped her hands. "You mean Viktoria's Sekret?"

Everyone except Skarlet and Ermak fell flat on their faces. Skarlet's still sleeping, Ermak's still meditating.

"Not that sekret, My beloved Mileena-chan..." Skorpion said as He skratched the bakk ov His head while a sweat bead appeared on His forehead.

"Then what sekret are y'all talkin' about?" The Empress asked. "I know not ov any sekret."

Kitana sighed.

*SIGHING INTENSIFIES*

"Sareena-san, you tell her."

"はい (Hai, okay), Kitana-san."

She stared at Sindel and Mileena.

"It seems that even Goddess Sindel doesn't know about this… viral news, too."

"Ov kourse not, Sareena-san." Sindel said as she took a sip ov her koffee.

"Right. So the thing is: Once upon a time, Bi-Han-kun spent an hour or so… naked on the bed… and… and..."

The more she talked, the redder her blush bekame.

"And..." Sareena struggled to speak.

Right now, it was extremely embarrassing. Skorpion and Sub-Zero held their laughter, so did Kitana. Skarlet was still sleeping and Ermak was still meditating.

Sindel and Mileena leaned forward as they listened to Sareena, while the Goddess had her mouth full ov koffee. The news was so intriguing that she forgot she's even drinking koffee.

"And then..." Sareena breathed deeply.

*BREATHING INTENSIFIES*

"And then he played with his… 'ding-dong'-"

Sub-Zero let one small laugh slip out but then he put his hand over his mouth.

"-Played with his 'ding-dong'… for an hour or so… and… and-"

"JUST SPIT IT OUT, GODDAMMIT!" Sub-Zero yelled at her.

"AND-THEN-HE-EJAKULATED-A-SHIT-TON-OV-KUM-TOWARD-THE-FUKKING-CEILING-GOD-FUKKING-DAMMIT!" Sareena finally finished her sentence.

With that, Sindel suddenly sprayed the koffee from her mouth onto Sareena's face while an even larger sweat bead appeared on her and Mileena's forehead.

Skorpion, Sub-Zero and Kitana laughed so hard that their faces bekame blood-red.

And yes…

Skarlet is still sleeping, with an inflating/deflating bubble koming out ov her nose. And Ermak is still fukking meditatin'.

"Da-Dafug did I just hear?" Mileena asked.

"Yeah, my daughter… what… just… happened?" Sindel said.

Red vertikal lines appeared over their foreheads as they processed the words that had just entered their minds.

Just then, Noob barged into the room by kikking the door open. The resulting aktion produced such loud sound that Skarlet woke up suddenly from her sleep and hit her knee under the table.

The klassik Knee-To-The-Table.

"What?! What?! The fukk is going on?!" She asked rather hysterikally.

"You missed the fun part, Skarlet-chan!" Kitana said while laughing.

"The fun part?"

"Yes… The fun part."

"This is getting rather dirty, Kitana-nēchan."

"You're not wrong, little sister, it was a dirty joke, after all..."

"And I missed it?"

"Yes, you did."

"So everyone heard except me, right, Ermak-niichan?"

She looked at the telekinetik ninja while rubbing her knee, the one that hit the table.

"Ermak… niichan…?"

The motherfukker's still meditating.

"Ah, leave him, little sister," Kitana said. "At least he doesn't have to go through the trauma that Okāsama and Mileena-sama here are going through..."

She pointed to the two women sitting next to her, who were still shokked on hearing the… rather interesting news. The sweat beads and the red vertikal lines were still present on their forehead.

But Sub-Zero and Sareena tho…

As soon as they saw Noob, they stopped laughing. They bekame super-deformed, or chibi, and their eyes widened with tiny dots for pupils.

They're skared.

"Now, WHERE. THE. FUKK. ARE. THEY?!" Noob asked as he pointed a finger at the group sitting in front ov him while speed lines appeared around him and the bakkground bekame red.

Sub-Zero and Sareena did The Skream pose and then threw their arms around as they ran around the room looking for a hiding spot.

"Hide, Sareena-san!" Sub-Zero shouted.

"But where?" The demoness questioned frantikally.

"Anywhere! Be it under the table, over the ceiling… Hell! Even above the fukking klouds! Just. Fukking. Hide!"

It was kute. Seeing these chibi doll-like kreatures running to safety.

Skorpion, like Ermak, didn't mind the kommotion around Him. He eventually got a hold ov Himself and stopped laughing, then took a kup and poured hot koffee into it. He sat there and silently drank the koffee as He watched the drama unfold before Him.

Bruh...

"I'm gonna rip you both to pieces!" Noob threatened as his white eyes bekame semicirkles and filled up with flames.

(THEN DO IT ALREADY!)

"Here! Take this, motherfukker!" Sub-Zero threw a glass ov water at him.

Noob quikkly stumbled bakk as the water splashed against his face.

(Noob has the same weakness as the aliens from Signs.)

"And this too!" A mysterious voice spoke as smoke kovered Noob's head, blokking his vision.

"Argh! What is this, goddammit!" The blakk assassin koughed and threw his arms around in an attempt to get the smoke away.

"Oh well, he's koughing," Mileena said.

"Yeah. Well, let's hope he doesn't have Koronavirus," Skorpion kommented.

He, Mileena, Sindel, Kitana and Skarlet laughed at the komment.

Nigga, that's not funny!

Also, Ermak is still fukking meditating!

Anyway, bakk to all the shenanigans surrounding Noob and this mysterious surprise attakk.

"Who the fukk was that, huh?! Who the fukk 'smoked' me?!" Noob demanded. "Show yourself!"

At once, smoke surrounded the room and a wild Tomas Vrbada appeared.

(Ah! Sudden Smoke! Also, Smoke Ex Makhina.)

"Yo." The gray assassin waved.

"Smoke? What brings you here?" Noob inquired.

"Here? Bitch, this is the Lin Kuei Temple! I live here!"

A sweat bead appeared on Noob's forehead.

"Yeah… yeah, right..."

"I heard the kommotion in here and kame in to chekk what was going on, and I saw you kombating with them chibi Subs and Sareena," Smoke explained. "Aren't they Roztomilý? (Kute?)."

"Rozto-what, Tomas? SPEAK IN MOTHERFUKKIN' ENGLISH!" Noob yelled at him.

Smoke looked like this: (-.-).

(Noob is a dikk to Smoke.)

"Reeeee-laaaaaaaaaaxxxxxsssss, Noob-chan!" Kitana said.

The blakk Lin Kuei looked at her.

"Kome, gather around. There's no need for fightin'."

Everybody stared at her.

"You think you have the most embarrassing story ever, Noob-kun? Wait till ya hear Subby's story!"

The blakk assassin chukkled.

"Hmm-mmm, this should be fun."

He and Smoke sat down at the table along with the others. Sub-Zero and Sareena reverted bakk to their original forms (i.e. Non-chibi form), and joined them.

"What 'embarrassing' story would little brother have, I wonder?" Noob said.

"Oh, he has lots," Kitana said.

"O RLY? 'Kause I'm 100% sure I don't have any such stories," Sub-Zero said.

"Yes you do… and I kan testify to all ov 'em," Kitana said.

"You know nothing, Kitana Liang!" Sub-Zero pointed at her.

"What, U MAD, bro?" She asked him.

He frowned and silently growled at her.

( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°).

"Hahaha! Look at this dude!" Noob said.

"Look at that adorable angry face!" Skorpion kommented.

"Yep, he's pissed," Smoke added.

"That's the face ov someone who has a tiny dikk," Skorpion said.

"Ov kourse he has a tiny dikk, Hanzo-sama," Kitana said while pointing at her husband. "He's mad that his brother has a bigger lan than he has."

"The hell is lan?" Sub-Zero inquired.

"Indian slang. Dikk."

"Oh, now we using Indian words?"

"Why not? But at least you hold the Guinness World Rekord..."

"Ov what?!"

"Ov being the first person to take Burj Khalifa inside, down to the hilt."

"That's not true!"

Everybody else laughed, and Ermak's still meditating.

"AAAAAAAAAAWWWWWW YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAA!" Noob exklaimed.

"But we did go to Dubai that one time. You kan't deny that," the Princess said.

"That I agree, wife, but the Burj Khalifa part-"

"It was true, alright?!"

"How kould it be true?! How kan I take an 828 meter tall building up my ass?!"

"Well, you kan freeze it whole, shatter it with a punch, and take a piece ov it in your butthole, if that kounts."

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"Make sense or not. One thing I know… is that you indeed took it inside."

Skorpion laughed.

"Man, this Kryomancer..."

"Don't believe her, Hanzo!"

"Believe me, Kami-sama, this man right here took a tall building up his ass, just like goatse guy would with all his HUGE dildos!"

(Goatse guy. Also, goatse guy is not ripping his anus apart in this scene. Also, I'm glad that low-life pig is dead.)

"Heh, he most probably looked at the building and was like, 'やらないか? (Yaranaika?, shall we do it?),'" Mileena kommented.

They all laughed again, except… ov kourse, Sub-Zero and Ermak.

"Most probably he said it in Arabik, like, 'نفعل ذلك؟ (Nafeal dhlk?, shall we do it?)," Skorpion said.

"And how would YOU know Arabik?" Sub-Zero asked Him.

"Bitch, I'm the motherfukking Ultimate Overlord ov the fukking Realms!"

Sub-Zero got trapped.

"Yeah… right."

"Well, Sub-Zero-chan," Skorpion spoke, "Just wait till the Arabs finish konstrukting برج جدة (Burj Jeddah, Jeddah Tower) so you kan take that inside your ass too."

"WHAT?! Not You too, Hanzo!"

"Fun Fakt: It's also known as برج الميل (Burj Al-Mil). AKA Mile-High Tower," Sindel said.

"Man, I would love to engage in a Mile-High Klub with Sareena," Noob said out ov the blue.

Sweat beads appeared on everyone's head except Ermak's and their cheeks bekame bright red.

Their was silence for some time. An awkward, long silence.

ちょこんっ (Chokon, silence).

*SILENCE INTENSIFIES*

Then Kitana made a loud, fake kough and grabbed everyone out ov the embarrassing situation.

"Anyways, bakk to Sub-Zero-kun's ass-inserting topik. Kuai-kun, when the Jeddah Tower is kompleted, insert it in."

"What?! No!"

"Oh, kome on, you did it with Burj Khalifa, why not with this?"

"Bekause… man, skrew you, Kitana!"

"Skrew me?! Well, you kan go sukk Zafar's lan instead!"

"Zafar who?" Sindel inquired.

"Who the hell is Zafar?!" Sub-Zero questioned.

"Some random guy. Blakk and has a big one, just like Bi-Han-kun," Kitana answered them.

A sweat bead formed on the blakk Lin Kuei's forehead.

"Seriously?" He mentally asked her.

"Kitana-nēchan, enough ov this… this 'dikk talk'," Mileena said, "Instead, let us speak ov some… family-friendly matters."

"Ov kourse, Mileena-sama, I'm very experienced at such kourses. So let's-"

ジリリリリ (Jiriri, dingding).

Her iPhone rang. She pikked it up.

"もしもし (Moshi Moshi, hello). はい (Hai, yes). Where are you now? Outside? You're outside? Like, right outside the Temple? Okay, okay, I'm koming, otherwise you would be freezing your cheeky ass off, eh? Hehehe..."

Everybody's eyes twitched at that komment.

Kitana kontinued speaking on the phone. "Alright, alright, I'm koming. Just hang on."

ピ (Pi, beep).

She ended the kall.

"Who was that, Kitana-chan?" Sindel asked her.

"A special someone waiting for me outside. Just a minute, people. I'll bring 'em inside," the Princess said.

She got up and went out ov the room, klosing the door behind her.

"Wonder who it is that kalled Kitana," Mileena said.

"Most probably a man," Skarlet said.

"Maybe a woman," Sindel said.

"Or most probably a bird. A very sexy bird," Smoke said.

Everyone looked at him like: ( ￣＾￣).

"It makes sense for Smoke to say such a thing bekause he ain't getting a girl," Sub-Zero said.

Everyone except Smoke chukkled.

"Smoke-kun, how about you grow a big-ass chin and introduce yourself with the initials 'F.A.'?" Sindel suggested.

"F.A.?" The gray assassin questioned.

"Yeah. Forever Alone."

He looked at the Goddess like: (ｰ ｰ;).

"But there is always a Plan B; an alternative..." Skorpion spoke.

"Plan B? What kind ov alternative, Skorpion?" Smoke asked Him.

"You kan either spend your time watching them hardkore porn or some hentai, OR you kan lie down on your side, try not to kry, and kry a lot."

(-.-).

"Am I a joke to You, Skorpion?" Smoke muttered.

"Or you kan buy a dildo and enjoy it while someone shows u-"

Sub-Zero was kut by Kitana entering the room with her friend.

Everybody looked at the person, and they immediately rekognized who it was.

Ov kourse, who wouldn't forget the blakk and green revealing leotard, mask, and the golden chains on the sides ov the outfit? Along with that was the pale skin with orange glowing veins.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I introduce to you, Jade-chan," Kitana said.

"Nice to meet all ov you." Jade bowed to them.

"We all know who she is..." Sub-Zero said.

A sweat bead appeared on Kitana's and Jade's forehead.

"Y-Yeah, Kuai-kun, but since it has been a long time, I thought I would-"

"GODDAMN!" Smoke shouted out ov the blue.

He cirkled around the green kunoichi, observing each and every detail ov her.

"Would you look at her! Damn, girl! Damn girl, she thikk!"

All ov them blushed slightly.

"Umm… Tomas-kun..." Kitana muttered.

"Reduce your hormones, bro," Skorpion said.

"But she's-"

"Just get your ass over here, Tomas!" Sub-Zero chided him.

Silently, Smoke walked over to the table and sat next to Sub-Zero, like an obedient boy. With that, Kitana and Jade also sat at the table and joined the rest.

"So, Jade-chan-" Sindel was about to speak, but…

"Hold up, hold up! Where the hell was she during all the aktion bakk at the Pyramid?!" Smoke asked all ov a sudden.

"Smoke-kun!" Skorpion said through His gritted teeth.

"So much for introduktions, goddammit..." Mileena whispered to herself as she nervously chukkled.

"Why such a question all ov a sudden, Smoke?" Sub-Zero asked. "Just give the woman some breathing ro-"

"No, no. It's okay..." Jade said.

They looked at her.

"It was just..." She skratched her chin, "I was on a vakation."

Their eyes twitched.

"You were what?" Smoke asked.

"I was… I was on a vakation!"

"I'm sorry, madam, but kan you repeat that one more time, please?"

"For fukk's sake, Tomas! You deaf or what?!" Sub-Zero shouted at him.

"No, I'm not, dear Grandmaster. But did I hear it right? Did this ninja girl just said she was on a 'vakation'?"

"Yes, you heard right."

"I mean… WHAT THE FUKK?!"

"What?"

"So you mean to tell me that… while we were fightin' our ass off on that battlefield, this woman right here was enjoyin' her time on a beach?"

"That's… that's right, Smoke-san," Jade answered him.

The gray assassin leaned bakk and spread out his arms.

"Great… that's very fukking great..."

"It was done on my request," Kitana said.

"Eh?" Smoke stared at her.

"I kalled her and requested her not to kome participate in the battle. If things went south, north, or however the fukk you say it… she would've been the one to gather up all the remaining forces ov Edenia and Outworld, and rally them up to fend off the Dragon King's forces. Who knew what would have happened had not the Angels and Demons showed up."

"But I kould have kome and helped y'all if Kitana-chan didn't give me that order!" Jade said as she took a kup ov koffee and took a sip from it.

"Jade-chan, you wouldn't want to have your intestines draggin' behind ya like Kitana-nēchan and me, now would ya?" Mileena asked.

The green kunoichi sprayed the koffee from her mouth.

"NANI?!" She was surprised.

"Yep, ye heard that right," Kitana said.

"But thankfully, Hanzo-sama healed us," Mileena said.

"That's right! Oh yeah! Oh yeah!" Skorpion did the Horn sign and headbanged.

The others stared at Him as large sweat beads formed on their foreheads.

Sindel shook her head.

"Anyways, my dear Jade, what were you doing during your vakation?"

Jade blinked several times before she kould take her eyes off Skorpion and look at Sindel.

"My Goddess, I mostly spent it on a 'beach', as Smoke-san here said, and had those tasty muffins you mentioned-"

"Did you have a bun?" Smoke asked all ov a sudden.

"A-A what?" Jade was konfused.

"A bun. As in the bread that you put a burger into. You need to have a bun to make a good pun."

Everyone fell flat on their faces.

That was a bad pun.

"Tomas – just shut the fukk up," Sub-Zero said.

"Aye-Aye, Kaptain!" Smoke said.

The Grandmaster sighed.

*SIGHING INTENSIFIES*

"Anyways..." Sindel spoke, "I'm glad you didn't show up at the Battle, Jade-chan. It was already painful seeing my two daughters severely injured and having their entrails out ov their abdomen."

Jade stared at her and tilted her head.

"Wait… My Queen, you mean to tell me that the same thing kould've happened to me?"

"Well, yes."

Jade's jaw dropped.

"You're a good warrior, Jade-chan, but remember that one time you fell off from the 3rd floor?"

She dropped her head in shame.

"Yes, my Queen. I remember."

"You broke your leg. The left one, whole," Mileena said.

"And the resulting damage also tore your vagina in half, most ov the damage was done to the klitoris especially," Kitana kommented.

Jade's cheeks turned bright red and red vertikal lines appeared on her forehead.

"Press Y to Shame," she thought.

"There was a lot ov blood. You're lukky I held myself bakk, Jade-nēchan," Skarlet said as she likked her lips.

The three girls laughed.

The green kunoichi's eyes narrowed as she silently growled at them.

"Stop it, you three! Are you three fukking kidding me?! Am I a joke to you?! You're embarrassing me!" She said as she puffed out her cheeks and her mouth formed into a '3'.

"Relax, dear Jade, they are just reminiscing an akcident that happened in the past," Sindel said.

"An awkward past, my Queen!"

"But it did happen, you kan't deny that."

She sighed inwardly.

"Ov kourse, my Goddess."

"Wait… something happened to Jade's vagina?" Smoke questioned.

Skorpion sprayed the koffee from His mouth.

"NANI?! What happened to Jade-chan's vagina?!" He inquired.

"It-" Mileena opened her mouth.

"MILEENA-SAMA!" Jade shouted in embarrassment.

"ITFUKKINGTOREINHALF!" Kitana finished what the Empress kould not.

Skorpion, Sub-Zero, Smoke, Noob and Sareena laughed suddenly.

"Kitana-chan!" Jade chided her.

"Kome on, Jade-chan, the past's past."

"But-"

"Did anything happen to it afterward?" Smoke questioned.

All ov them stared at him.

"Uh… no..." Kitana answered.

"Good! It would be a shame if something happened to it!"

"Press X to Doubt..." Bi-Han kommented.

"I kan heal it if it's still damaged, Jade-san," Skorpion said out ov the blue.

Everyone did the Drew Skanion Reaktion on Him.

"Oh, don't do the Blinking White Guy on Me! I said I kan heal her privates if she doesn't mind!"

"Skorpion-sama, are You a wizard?" Jade asked Him.

"Well I-"

"ERMAHGERD! He's going for it!" Sub-Zero kommented.

"That He is, Grandmaster Obvious!" Smoke said.

"No, it's not what you thi-"

"I've seen enough, Hanzo. I'm satisfied," Noob said.

"Like hell you're satisfied!"

"That's what your tiny kokk would say after 10 sekonds ov porn, Bi-Han!" Sub-Zero said.

"Shut up, you!"

"But, Skorpion, now is this goddamned Koronavirus everywhere. Physikal kontakt is prohibited," Smoke spoke up.

"But I kan heal-"

"Jade's vagina?" Sareena asked.

He growled.

"Will you all stop it?! This is absolutely embarrassing!" Jade yelled.

"We have nothing else to talk about, Jade-chan!" Kitana said.

"Really?! You kouldn't think ov any other topik than my pussy?!"

"Well-"

"Another topik? Well shit, I have one!" Mileena said.

She leaned forward.

"Now, let us talk about… the all-new Korona-chan!"

Sweat beads appeared on everyone's forehead.

"Mileena, dear, that's not funny..." Sindel said.

"It will be after you hear this, Mother."

She took out her iPhone.

"Maybe it will be a lame joke, but whatever..."

She kleared her throat, which kaused her to receive suspicious gazes from all ov 'em.

"I don't have it, alright! Now," she looked at her phone, "Here's a good joke:

'Knokk Knokk.'

'Who's there?'

'It's the Koronavirus-chan. RIP E3 2020 bekause ov me!'"

Everybody stared at her like, "Bruh..." (-.-).

Suddenly, Sindel burst out laughing.

"HOLY SHIT, THAT'S FUKKING FUNNY, ISN'T IT?!"

She looked around at everyone who still had the blank expression on their faces.

She stopped laughing.

"Ahem! That was not funny, Mileena-chan."

"But you did laugh, didn't you?" Mileena questioned.

"I'll just pretend I didn't do that."

"Hmm, this woman..."

"Mileena… that was not funny," Skorpion said.

"That's why I said it would be a lame joke..."

"Kouldn't you find a better, funnier one?"

"I kould if I kept searching..."

"Sure do."

For the next few minutes, Mileena browsed through the internet for a few good jokes.

"Oh! How about this: 'When my friends speak about Kommunism, I'm like 'Fukk yeah, spread it.''"

No one laughed.

"Okay then… this: 'Me trying to find a suitable sex partner. My ancestors: *Shame*.'"

"Jade after havin' her pussy torn apart: *Shame*," Kitana kommented.

Everybody laughed.

Jade growled at the Princess.

"Oh sorry, Jade-chan. Didn't see you there."

The kunoichi shook her head.

"Nevermind. At least it's better than the Empress' lame jokes, no offense."

"None taken, Jade."

"Man, y'all don't know how to make a good joke!" Skorpion said.

"As if You have one, Skorpion!" Sub-Zero said.

"Oh yeah?! I do have one!"

"Well, let's hear it!"

"Once upon a time-"

"His kokk was super-kurved and so He had to sit and pee for a month!" Noob said.

"Shut up, Bi-Han!"

"It's true, Skorpy."

"Wow… what a nice joke," Sindel muttered as she facepalmed herself.

"Wait till you hear more 'bout Him, Queen," Noob said.

"She already knows more than you do, Noob-kun," Skorpion said.

Noob glared at Him.

"Bi-Han is fine, alright Hanzo? Kallin' me 'Noob' is just… extra kringy!"

"What were you thinking when you kame up with a kode-name?"

"It's just a reverse ov someone's name, okay?"

"K den..."

Smoke chukkled.

"What's so funny, Tomas?!" Noob questioned him.

"Nothing, it's just..."

"My kode-name?!"

"Yes."

"Not you too, Czekh bastard!"

(That's racist.)

"Hey! That's racist, Noob!" Skorpion said.

(Skorpion would be excellent at FanFiktionSins!)

"No shit, Sherlokk!"

"HA! Poor Tomas! Always being a target!" Sub-Zero said.

"As if you weren't today, Grandmaster!"

"What do you mean?"

"What was all this noise and kommotion about when I kame in?"

"Oh yeah, that one..."

"Yeah, what was it, Sub-Zero-kun? I was having a nice dream till you all just kame barging in," Skarlet kommented.

"About that, dear Blood Mage, it was Sub-Zero's doing," Noob explained. "I was on a ladder doing some karpenter work and the great Grandmaster over here just decided to freeze the area under the ladder, and therefore I slipped and fell off the long stairway."

"Were you hurt?"

"Yes, few bruises and broken bones here and there."

"Were you killed?" Kitana asked.

Everyone stared at her. Noob blinked several times at the question.

"N-No… I'm still here, am I not?"

"Right..."

"But lukkly, I was at the bottom ov the ladder when it happened."

Sweat beads formed on everyone's forehead.

"Okay, so let me get this straight: You were at the bottom ov the ladder when it happened?" Sareena asked.

"Yes."

"And you're making sound as if you had been attakked by some ghoul?"

"Yep."

Sareena looked at everyone.

"This gotta be the dumbest Lin Kuei assassin ever."

"That he is, Sister Sareena," Sub-Zero said.

"Hey! I'm not dumb, I'm bright!" Noob said.

"Yeah, VERY bright!" Skorpion kommented.

(That's racist.)

Everybody laughed.

"At least I'm perfekt for stealth missions!"

"Ov kourse, brother. You just sit bakk having what – a fukking sandwich – while the rest ov us do the hard work," Sub-Zero said.

"It's kause I was hungry!"

"You always hungry, fool!"

"That explains why the fridge was empty yesterday," Smoke said.

"And also the pizza box," Mileena said.

"Speaking ov food, where's Ketchup and Mustard?" Sindel asked.

"On the training field; training," Sub-Zero answered her.

"No shit," Kitana muttered.

"Hmm… ketchup and mustard..." Skarlet likked her lips.

Everybody stared at her like: ( ͡ ͡° ͡° ʖ ͡° ͡°).

"No, not them! I mean the ones used on food!" Skarlet said as she threw her arms in front ov herself.

"Whatever you say, little sister," Mileena said.

"Believe me!"

"Oh, I do. I really, really do..."

Skarlet frowned in a kute way.

"Aww, looks like someone's angry," Kitana kommented.

"She's just disappointed that no one's believing her," Sareena said.

"She's really trying to prove that there's nothing between her and those two Lin Kuei," Jade said.

"I, as an intellektual, kan prove her point," Noob said.

Everybody stared at him like: "Bruh..."

(ન_੦).

"You need to have the brains to even be an intellektual, 親愛な (Shin'aina, dear)," Sareena said.

"First ov all, you need to have a big dikk, Bi-Han," Sub-Zero said.

"As an intellektual, you must know how to at least get a stealth mission right, brother," Smoke said, "And not just sit bakk eating fukking sandwiches while the rest ov us work our asses off."

"Also, you wouldn't just barge into the room if you were an intellektual; you would've thought ov a more stealthy approach if you wanted to take Sub-Zero-kun and Sareena-san down," Skorpion spoke.

"If only he had the brains for it, Hanzo-sama," Mileena said.

By this point, Noob's face was like this: （￣ε￣）.

"Anyone else has anything to say?" He thought.

"An intellektual will use kritikal thinking in his ways, something which Noob-kun lakks," Kitana said.

"Umm… children…?" Sindel muttered.

"Also, you need to have the evidences and whatnot ready if you want to support me," Skarlet said.

"First ov all, why would you want to support Skarlet-chan if the matter has nothing with you?" Mileena questioned.

"L'intellektuel est quelqu'un qui se mêle de ce qui ne le regarde pas (The Intellektual is someone who meddles in what does not koncern them). Jean-Paul Sartre-san wasn't kidding!" Kitana said.

Sindel's breathing began to fade.

"Nice one, Onēchan!" Mileena said.

"Yep, that's me, Kitana-chan!"

The Princess began to laugh.

くしゃみ (Kushami, sneeze).

"AAAAA-CHUUUUU!" Sindel sneezed.

Everyone stared at her.

( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°).

*BUFFERING SOUND EFFEKT*

The rotating buffering ikon appeared on their foreheads.

"Run..." Mileena muttered.

[INSERT "AWOLNATION – RUN" HERE]

Everybody except Sindel and Ermak, who was still meditating, ran out ov the room.

Not today, Korona-chan, not today.

A few hours later…

"So You mean to tell me that You saw a figure in white with all this… blue glows on its body?" Sub-Zero asked Skorpion.

"That's right, Kuai."

"And?"

"And not only that, but also these… green tentakle-like appendages on its bakk."

"Was it a man or a woman?"

"Kouldn't tell. I only saw it from the korner ov My eye, but when I turned My head to see it… it was long gone."

"Hmm… wonder who it was..."

"We'll find out soon enough, Sub-Zero."

Just then, Noob entered the room.

The rest ov them were sleeping and only Skorpion, Sub-Zero and Noob were awake.

"Yo, dumbass brother. Kan't sleep?" Sub-Zero asked.

"Yeah..." Noob replied.

"How about you tell Us a story? Maybe that will help the three ov Us," Skorpion said.

Noob thought for a moment.

Surprised he kan even think.

"Right."

He sat opposite to Skorpion and Sub-Zero.

"Let me tell you the story ov my greatest adventure yet."

←TO BE KONTINUED

(Everybody is a dikk to everyone.)

(This fanfiktion.)

(Also, this fanfiktion beats my fanfiktion all to hell.)

(Reading.)

[ENDING THEME – INSERT "PILLAR MEN THEME SYNTHWAVE/DARKSYNTH 80'S REMIX" HERE]