"I expected you to give me something you didn't have."

The first thing Jace had noticed and appreciated about Clary was her strength. Her ability to cope with situations no matter how difficult and dark they were, despite of everything she had been through.

But it wasn't until now that her strength hurt him so much that he felt numb. Dead.

Leaning further into the chair, he closed his eyes. He felt tired, so tired that all he wanted to do was to lie down and never get up. He could hear Clary's quiet sobs from the next room and felt a burning, searing hate for himself. He hated it when she cried. It was like watching his heart being ripped out and slowly crushed into a million pieces.

He still doesn't know the exact point of time when he started to fall for her. Perhaps it was the very day he saw her at the The Club, her eyes fire and resolve steel. There was something about her that called out to him, something that reminded him of himself.

Theirs wasn't a friendship when it began. It was a strange bond. They never spoke about anything other than boxing, but even their silence had a strange intimacy. He never mentioned her past, and she didn't ask about his.

She'd never accept it, but she was beautiful. Her face would always be so cold, so emotionless as compared to her eyes, which would seem to speak a million things at once. He could always judge her mood by her eyes.

He knew she had a dark past the first time they met. Despite her temper and her rudeness, there was a strange vulnerability in her demeanor. Not that she let it show, though. But he saw it. The nervous flickering of her eyes. How she bit her lip sometimes when she was upset. Her too long sweaters and track pants all year round had a story, a story she either was too ashamed or too scared of.

Slowly, she started opening up to him. When they'd sit on the narrow benches during breaks at The Club, she would randomly tell him things about Jon. She loved her brother more than anyone else in the world, he could see that.

After some time, he realized he loved watching her smile. She didn't do it often, so he deliberately did things that he came to know she liked. They were absurd, as he wondered at first.

He still remembers the first time he actually heard her laugh.

They were walking back from The Club and it suddenly started to rain. He quickly took shelter under a tree and called her to do the same, but she stood there, watching the first drops land on her palms with wonder in her eyes. And then she laughed. Loud and carefree as she splashed around in the water, getting completely soaked but not caring a bit.

Was it then he fell for her? Perhaps. He wouldn't ever know. There were so, so many things about her that he loved, so many things that made her the beautiful puzzle that she was that he'll never be able to select one.

Letting her go was the hardest thing he had ever done. Every moment that passed reminded him of her, and hurt just as much as it did at first. But after what happened, it was the only thing he could do. It was a weak, cowardly thing, but there was no way he could bear losing someone he loved again. No way he would be able to stand it without falling apart.

The only thing that kept him sane was the guarantee the Clary will now be safe. Away from hurt, away from pain. Away from everything he promised he'd never let get close to her.

And now, she wasn't.

His hands closed into fists as he thought about the phone call he had in the morning. It was like a horrible nightmare coming true, like the world had slipped from under his feet.

At the moment, he had the wild urge to see her, to make sure she's okay. And when he didn't find her, it was like going in the past and living the horrible moment all over again. Watching someone you love go away forever, yet be able to do nothing about it.

His eyes shot open when he heard a very familiar melody. In a flash, he reached the door of her room. Leaning against it, his eyes screwed shut as her slightly shaky but beautiful as ever voice hit his ears.

He pressed his forehead against the cold wood, his hands shaking. It was the song they wrote together, the very first one.

It might be quiet,

It might be cold,

But when the darkness comes,

We'll fight it together.

He slipped onto the floor, huddling close to the door. He wouldn't let her go this time.

He'll protect her.

No matter what.

00

I know some things aren't clear, but they will very soon. Till then, please review. PLEASE. *fall on knees* PLEASE. PUH LEEZ.