A/N: I don't own anything of the Marvel universe (well, except a Hawkeye bobble head and some random badges), nor am I getting paid for writing this.

So I wanted to write some Tony/JARVIS familial feels, and this fic is the result. I probably have overestimated JARVIS' capabilities and abilities, but this is how I actually headcanon him.

five times JARVIS almost lost Tony (and one time the man lost his AI)

1.

When Tony gets kidnapped, it's JARVIS who first knows about it. Even before the other soldiers realize that their charge is gone, the AI is running through all sorts of programs and diagnostics to figure out why he can't reach his creator.

It doesn't take much longer than a second before he's coming to the right conclusion and informing the proper people – Pepper Potts and Obadiah Stane – about it.

They don't manage to do anything about it and even James Rhodes – Rhodey, Tony's best friend, military – is helpless.

There never was a time when JARVIS cursed his lack of a physical body more.

But he has to stay calm and support the other AIs who are all very upset at Tony's continuous absence from the workshop. He has to stay calm because if other people knew that JARVIS is sentient enough to feel, he wouldn't be there to welcome Tony back.

JARVIS has to stay calm and believe that Tony will be back.

He hacks into everything he can – be it civilian, military or spy agencies – and finds out everything he can about his creator's situation. It's not much, though. It's not enough.

He's sure nothing will be enough until Tony's back home again.

Eventually, Tony manages to rescue himself – and JARVIS doesn't know whether to be upset that everyone else failed him or be proud of him because he's more genius and resourceful than anyone could have guessed.

In the end, he settles on feeling incredibly relieved that he has his creator/mentor/master/friend back home.

2.

Building Iron Man was Tony's idea, obviously. JARVIS would have never suggested something that put Tony's life in such high risk.

He does suggest robots and remote control, though. Needless to say, Tony doesn't agree. "As Rhodey has said, manned machines will always be better than remote controlled ones," he states and ends the discussion there.

JARVIS messes with Colonel Rhodes' cell phone.

He also fries Rhodes' laptop once he hears about Tony's best friend not supporting him in what Tony believes to be the biggest change in his life.

The suit works, though, and JARVIS has complete access to it – he can do anything besides override Tony's commands, as usual – and he grudgingly admits that the idea is not that bad.

He's also very proud of Tony for changing the company no matter what anyone else says.

Then Obadiah uses his override code – Potts and Rhodes also have their own – on JARVIS and he's forced to do nothing but watch when Obadiah (the man Tony considered to be more of a father than his biological one ever was) pulls the arc reactor (the object keeping Tony alive) out of Tony's chest.

JARVIS, again, curses his lack of a physical body, but Tony manages to drag himself to the workshop and with the help of another AI, he puts the old arc reactor in. Then Colonel Rhodes arrives to help Tony – not that he needed it anymore – and the AI gains some of his respect towards him back.

Tony puts on a suit and goes fight Obadiah against JARVIS' recommendations, but that's nothing new.

But then Tony also proceeds to ignore all of his warnings about low energy and tells Potts to push the button while he's still in the radius of the blast, which means that it'll likely result in his death.

JARVIS is panicking (has been for a while, but it spikes then) but Tony/creator/friend doesn't listen to him, and then the Arc Reactor crashes.

JARVIS loses touch with Tony and thinks he's dead. He can't do anything but stay frozen for a few seconds which feel like an eternity (if he was a human he'd be slowly breathing in and out) and then he has to tell the bots about the death of their creator/father/friend.

Ultimately, it turns out that Tony isn't dead. The bots swarm him when he arrives at the workshop.

JARVIS gives him the silent treatment for a day, and frosty politeness for a week.

Eventually Tony apologizes and removes Potts' and Rhodes' override codes. JARVIS welcomes him back after that.

3.

The Palladium poisoning has to be the worst time JARVIS has had to watch Tony die; this time, he's helpless both in action and words.

He can't find an answer even though he should be able to because he's the smartest AI there is and he's linked directly to the internet and he's basically a super computer but with his "body" in everywhere and not in a single device but he still can't find an answer.

He has to watch his mentor/friend/protégé die, and he fails to help him.

Tony doesn't find a solution either and JARVIS hates seeing him like this (suicidal/hopeless/reckless/upset/hurting).

The only thing JARVIS can do is recommend that Tony tells Potts or Rhodes (his closest friends) about it, but as usual, Tony doesn't listen to him. He doesn't dare go against Tony's orders (requests, really, because Tony doesn't give orders to him) since the last thing Tony needs right then is to think that his AI (the one being he should be able to trust to always be on his side) has betrayed his confidence.

JARVIS does find out that Natalie Rushman isn't really Natalie Rushman at all, though, and he tells Tony this. Tony, who figures that he'll play SHIELD's game to see what they're up to. Tony, who's so incredibly reckless with his life that JARVIS wants to lock him up in his workshop.

Agent Romanoff gives Tony some sort of an antidote (JARVIS curses himself for failing to come up with that idea) and the AI likes her (and the whole agency) a bit better for it.

It doesn't solve the problem, though, and they're still running against time. But the symptoms have lessened, and JARVIS breathes a (metaphorical) sigh of relief at Tony's slightly improved state.

Eventually Tony does find a solution (with a little help from his biological father) and JARVIS has never felt happier in his (figurative) life.

He can't even find it in himself to be too upset when Tony (again) flies off without performing the proper tests to save Potts, especially since Tony doesn't come too close to dying then.

4.

Tony has had a lot of bad ideas in his life (drinking too much/ignoring warnings/disregarding safety instructions/working for 54 hours straight with no food or rest) but JARVIS is pretty sure that flying a nuke into a wormhole ranks in the top five.

The whole battle had been one huge "safety, what's that" experience for Tony (talking to Loki without his suit on/flying inside one of the Chitauri Leviathans) and one momentous "would you listen to me for once" experience for JARVIS, but the AI still wouldn't have seen it coming.

Self-sacrifice has always been a habit of Tony's, but never before trying to think of another way out of the situation.

JARVIS suspects that Captain America's words have something to do with it ("You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play." "Always a way out. " "You better stop pretending to be a hero.") and the AI's dislike towards the Captain spikes (the argument and comparisons to Howard did nothing to make JARVIS like Rogers).

Override on the Iron Man suits sounds like an appealing concept right about then, but there are none. Tony is the one that control the suits, even if JARVIS helps with the controls.

As such, into the wormhole they go (but JARVIS can get out because his conscious is not tied to the suit unlike Tony whose whole body is).

The AI loses contact with his creator, and he feels an odd sense of déjà vu.

Especially when he observes through one of the security cameras outside and sees the Iron Man suit being caught by Hulk and Tony taking in a huge panicked breath because he survived (and JARVIS is monumentally relieved).

He's also glad he refrained from informing the bots about Tony's death prematurely this time. It's enough that his whole conscious seemed overflown with sadness and hurt.

He doesn't complain to Tony, though. This time he welcomes him back with open arms (figuratively speaking) and expresses his relief that Tony's safe and okay again.

The gratefulness on Tony's features make it all (supressing the sadness and anger) worth it.

5.

JARVIS shuts down from the lack of energy ("I actually think I need to sleep now, sir.") and is unaware of anything going on in the world for a while.

When he comes to, he's in a warehouse where Tony dragged the Iron Man suit to and is fixing him up in. There's also a little kid there, but JARVIS has long ago stopped being surprised by what happens around his creator/friend/sir.

The child is rather well-versed in robotics, though, and Tony even has him help occasionally.

JARVIS can do little more than watch by. Even his speaking algorithms are still all wrong.

Eventually Tony has to leave to "fight the bad guys", as Harley says, and leaves the child to "watch over JARVIS and make sure nothing goes wrong".

The AI would be more upset by this if he believed that he could be of any assistance to Tony.

Still, it is hell to not be able to do anything but try to fix himself while Tony is fighting and, knowing him, getting injured and acting recklessly.

When he finally can go help his creator/friend, he finds Tony tied up with a couple of their enemies watching him, and JARVIS is incredibly glad that he managed to find his friend in time.

Then they find and rescue Pepper and save the president and defeat Killian – or more accurately, Pepper defeats Killian – and even when Tony blows up all of his suits JARVIS is still present in the earpiece he has on and isn't a bit upset.

He always thought that the suits were a shield against everything that's wrong in the world and inside Tony, and destroying them means that Tony's making some progress.

At least that's what JARVIS tells himself and the bots when the other AIs are upset over the loss of "their" products of hard work.

+1

Tony never thought that JARVIS was completely gone. Not for a single second, because he knows his AI/friend/creation/confidant and he knows his capabilities.

Then, of course, JARVIS proves him right by fighting Ultron in his own way.

Tony feels relieved to have the AI back at his side again.

And then he fucks it up, again, by meddling with something he doesn't understand – again.

The end-product is Vision, who has a cool cape and can lift Thor's hammer and shoot lasers form his eyes and fly but –

But.

But he's not JARVIS.

JARVIS, whose whole programming Tony put inside the artificial body; JARVIS, who never once betrayed him; JARVIS, who's one of Tony's closest friends; JARVIS, who Tony failed.

JARVIS, who is gone.

They have to suit up and go fight the bad guy (Ultron, another one of Tony's creations, another one Tony ultimately failed) and Tony has to ignore the fact that he basically caused JARVIS' death. He can't even say anything to anyone, because none of them understand that the AI was his friend, that the AI was fully sentient and felt and cared and helped him more than anyone else ever did.

He can't say anything to anyone, because the others might not believe him now that he has no proof (because JARVIS is gone) and anyone belittling JARVIS' capabilities and abilities would be belittling JARVIS' death.

So Tony bottles it up inside, treats Vision normally – well, as normally as one can treat an infinity stone/lighting/artificial intelligence combination – and suits up.

He uses FRIDAY because he needs an AI to work his suit and she reminds him of JARVIS the least (she's not as fully developed and she sounds female and he never used her before).

Fighting Ultron feels even worse without JARVIS at his side. Because now he knows for sure that he has failed two of his creations/children/protégés.

Ultron is, after all, his creation; for all that Ultron is evil and bad and destructive, he's still Tony's and Tony knows that even if Ultron himself doesn't. Tony still feels responsible for and protective of and caring towards the AI, even if Ultron wants nothing more than to kill him.

Tony entertains the idea while fighting the robots because being killed by one of his AIs after killing another himself sounds like karma and poetic justice and irony.

In the end, he does his best to survive for JARVIS (who wasted his whole life trying to keep Tony alive), for the other Avengers (who are broken enough already), and for Vision (who was literally born yesterday and Tony needs to talk to him and show him the ropes and find out if there's anything of JARVIS left inside him).

Destroying any of the robots feels wrong. It comes dangerously close to feeling like killing the babies of his baby, and Tony has to swallow down the bile that comes up at that thought.

He still does it, though, because the world shouldn't have to pay for his mistakes.

In the end it's Vision that destroys the last of the Ultron bots, and Tony feels relieved/happy/guilty/shameful that it wasn't him.

After the fight is done, however, Tony doesn't have anything to focus on. So naturally his thoughts drift back to JARVIS, his biggest achievement and closest friend.

When Rhodey asks about his moodiness ("we just won"), Tony answers truthfully ("JARVIS is gone") and Rhodey understands.

He doesn't say any of the dumb crap the others surely would have ("he was just an AI", "you can build more", "he was just a machine", "he lives on in Vision", "it's not like he was a living thing"). He says "oh man" and pulls Tony into a hug, staying in the position for a good few minutes while Tony tries to gather himself back together.

"Nothing will be the same," Tony whispers quietly into Rhodey's neck, and the other man rubs his back comfortingly.

"I know," Rhodey states, and doesn't say anymore. He knows empty promises or words of comfort wouldn't be welcome.

Nothing will change the fact that JARVIS is gone. Nothing will change the fact that it's Tony's fault. Nothing will stop him from missing and caring about the AI and feeling guilty over his death.

Nothing will change the fact that his best friend/creation/protégé/protector will never come back.

A/N: So... How did you like it? Any and all reviews are more than welcome!