[DISCLAIMER: I do not own DGM]
[NOTE: "talking" 'thinking' 'Neah talking in Allen mind']

[BETA DONE BY JinkiesCrown – thank you very much :)]

He had made no attempt to attack her. Why would he do it in the fist place? As long as she didn't find out about his Innocence, he had no reason to do so. Besides, perhaps it wasn't so bad having someone to talk to about him, about Mana. Even if that person was a stranger with no connection to him, it would be nice to talk about things that you normally avoid no matter what to someone unrelated. After all, it was too long he since he had spent so much time travelling and harbouring himself with feeling of guilt. Allen already knew it, but still, it wasn't so easy to change it by himself.
But he needed to do it. He needed to keep walking. Even if it meant moving on about what happened in the past. It's not like it was going to disappear if he hid it.
'Allen…' Neah knew what was going in that white head 'I know I was nagging you all the time about you needing to talk someone about Mana, but you don't have to force yourself.'
'It's fine, Uncle. It's not like we are going to meet again, so I think it's fine.'
At this Neah said nothing. Allen just kept smiling at the grey gravestone.
"A long time ago, there once lived a boy," he began. "an unwanted child which was hated by everyone around him. Even his own parents decided to abandon him. Perhaps it was the world which decided to abandon him. At first he was sent to orphanage but soon he decided to run away from cruel caretakers and other kids whom hated him for being different."
"What was different about him?" Lenalee asked.
"One of his limbs was deformed and ugly at his birth. At least I think so." he answered. "Going on with the story, after he ended on the streets he started pickpocketing and doing anything he could to survive. He never thought about it in such categories like a crime or hurting someone. It was something that he simply needed to do in order to survive."
Grey eyes were staring at girl face. She noticed undeniable sadness in them. Lenalee wanted to come closer to him and comfort the boy, but at the same time she couldn't do so. It was as if she was paralysed by something which wished for her to wait till the end of the story.
"One day he decided to join a circus." Allen shrugged his shoulders. "Guess it was because he was sick of being homeless."

"But why a circus? Couldn't he find some other job?" She asked./

Allen laughed quietly.
"He probably tried it countless time. It's not like he enjoyed ripping people of their belongings. But no one wanted freak like him around them. Circus was a place where they could accept him in some matter. Well… Maybe not him but the money which they could get from keeping him," The boy elaborated.
"But that's just..."
"Cruel, right?" Allen didn't wait for her to end. "But life itself is cruel, people are cruel and world is cruel. I am sure that you already know it." he shrugged. "We may ignore it and keep ourselves from thinking about it but it's not like it's going to change it."

She didn't respond. After all Lenalee, too, knew just how cruel the world was. It had taken away her parents and made her join Black Order to kill Akuma, even if she didn't want to do it.

"Well.. No one tried to kill boy in there so there was actually a good side of joining circus but.. There was a cruel man, a ringmaster. He hated everyone, often reeked of alcohol and any reason was good enough for him to hurt and abuse someone. It really was no wonder that he hated boy as well and made him his target. One day, a particular clown decided to join that circus. He had a dog named Allen. An old, brown-spotted dog that licked boy's hand showing him his affection to a lonely soul. Unfortunately, it wasn't long before it was killed by this cruel man."
Allen closed his eyes remembering him. Right. It was him who changed Allen. Changed everything about the nameless boy that had been back there. The day that had changed his life..

[PAST 8 YEARS AGO AT CIRCUS]

Red was covered in bruises, scars, and dirt, staring at the strange clown who had joined their circus only a few days ago. From what he heard, that fella was rather skilled, but it didn't matter to him. All he knew was that he behaved strange and that Cosimo hated him. Cosimo hated everyone, so it wasn't so strange after the clown was deep hole with an inanimate, bruised dog deep down.

"Is he dead?" The auburn-haired boy asked after few minutes.

His eyes followed the mist from his parted lips and then he shrugged. He didn't mind whatever it was cold or not. It's not like he could wear something warmer just because it was cold to him.

The clown was in the full-face makeup he'd wear during his performances. He was hardly seen without it, along with his fluffy clothing which, for some reason, irritated Red.
Probably because it was much warmer than everything the boy could afford in this winter. He wasn't anyone special in the circus, so no one cared very much about him or what was he wearing. He was easily replaceable, after all.
"He's dead." The clown confirmed almost emotionlessly.
"..He's covered in bruises." Red wasn't sure why he noticed, and what was even more strange, – why he was telling it to that stranger? "Cosimo probably did it," he added after few seconds. "'cause the audience likes you more than him. He hates it when people are better than him." The boy explained while clown was looking at a dirty, yet colorful ball in his hand. "He's got no talent, except when it comes it stuff like this." Red was disgusted at the very thought of the culprit.
No one could blame him for his hatred towards man. He abused him daily for the smallest issues. He did it even when he had no reason to do so, but after some time, he was forced to get used to it. He was going to stay here only as long as he needed, then plan on finding some better place for him, only if such place existed.
"He was an old dog. He wouldn't have lived much longer anyway. It's all right." Despite what the clown had said, Red could see it in his face that it wasn't alright at all.

"Hm… You're not gonna get revenge?" The boy asked.
It was his way of life that if someone bit him, he would do the same to his opponent. He wasn't going to let the world and its people tarnish him as much as they wanted without fighting back. He needed to survive, and he was willing to do it by all means necessary.
"If I do that, I'll get thrown out of here and won't get paid." The man finally said. For someone who supposedly acted like a mad man, it was quite the sane reason, but still.. If Red was in his place, there was no way for him to let it go without revenge on Cosimo.
'Ugh..' He thought he had heard a foreign prayer from the clown to God. He didn't know the language, and he didn't care to know. For him, God was nonexistent, and even if He did exist, He was stupid bloody bastard who let him live like this and gave him this ugly, deformed arm.
"I'm a newcomer after all." The man smiled.
'How is he smiling when he's burying his dead dog?' Red wondered for a brief second.
"After Christmas tomorrow, I'll move on to somewhere new." The clown explained.

"I see.." The boy wasn't very interested in his plan at all.

"Hmm?" The clown looked at him with a subtle wonder as to why Red, a young child, had such a grumpy and bored expression.

"Who are you, anyway?" He asked.

"I do odd jobs around here.. I've brought you dinner before." The boy explained with an unfriendly voice.

'Not like he's care. If he did, he would remember.' He thought suspiciously. He didn't like it when someone kept asking him questions about him, not that they did it often.

"I have bad memory for faces." The clown admitted.

'I can tell.' The boy thought.
"Oh my," the older man inspected the boy's face closer and stuck his tongue out. "You're covered in bruises too, aren't you!?" He licked his finger and began wiping the dirt from Red's face.

"Wah! Gross!" The redhead shouted while backing away from the crazy clown. "Get your spit off me, dummy!" He yelled in disgust.

"It's disinfectant." The man chuckled at his reaction. "Did Cosimo beat you up?" Clown wondered.
"Shut up.." The child growled angrily at him while he kept trying to rid his cheek of the clown's saliva.
"Don't you have any friends?" The man wasn't going to stop, was he?
"I said SHUT UP!" The boy yelled at him, especially upset at the man for sticking his nose into his private matters.
The man stared at him in silence. Red gave up.
"When I grow up.. I'm getting out of here as soon as I'm strong enough, so I don't need any friends.." The boy stated.
Man attempted to make funny expression in front of him, which could be considered amusing for everyone. Well, except Red.

"What're doing?" He asked, tight-lipped with completely unamused expression.
"You didn't think it was funny?" The man asked.
"Sorry, but I don't like clowns and stuff," Red looked away from him. "In fact, I hate 'em." he added.
"My, my," The clown chuckled. "Well, I hate crowds and children who don't laugh." he said.
'As if I minded whether or not you liked me.' The boy thought.
"Hmpf." was only response given to the man.
Another few minutes passed in silence as the man buried his dog underground, the boy just stared at the small grave for the animal.
"You gonna cry?" The child asked. "He lived with you for a long time, didn't he?" He thought about white dog which licked his deformed left hand yesterday and he felt sudden wave of sadness. "Aren't you sad?" He looked as the clown placed colorful ball with stars on the small grave.
"So sad I could die.." responded the man.
Red glanced at him just to discover that he was hanging from the tree by a rope.
"Quit it!" He shouted, questioning the man's sanity while wondering just how dangerous could this guy be.
"But I can't cry.." The clown sighed. "Maybe my tears are dried up. They just won't come." The man explained.
"What was his name?" Red asked. "He licked my hand yesterday.." He felt his eyes wetting. "His tongue was warm."
Tears started falling down his cheeks.
"So how come I'm crying over him?" The boy asked and began to sob.

At this sight, the clown smiled and patted him on his head.

"I see, you were a friend of Allen's too.." He paused. "Say, boy, would you like to spend Christmas tomorrow with me?" The clown asked with a genuine smile.

[PRESENT]

"And after death of Allen, the mad clown decided that he needed another one, so he picked up the boy and started calling him Allen instead. I already knew that he wasn't completely sane at that time, but the reason of his madness is another, long story, and I don't want us to freeze here while talking about it." A shadowy smile appeared on the boy's face.
"Hover it was, he mistook the child for the dog, so Allen the human was born. Well, Allen decided to stick with the mad clown since it was easier to go on with him rather than without. So he travelled with the mad clown from place-to-place and both learned to love each other, just like a father and son would. They kept walking, never stopped. But the period of Allen's happiness didn't last long. Three years after they first met, the mad clown died in an accident and the world of the eleven year old boy was destroyed..again. The little boy was drenched in grieve upon being left alone and having everything he cared for, shattered like a glass" The silver eyes became dull.

"And then he appeared, the Millennium Earl. A fat, grinning figure which claimed having the power to bring said boy's father back, away from hateful God. I suppose you can guess what happened later.."

Lenalee was struck in fear. It was obvious what he did… But then that boy.. Allen..
"He accepted the offer.." she whispered, a gust of freezing wind suddenly blew, giving her goosebumps, "..And an Akuma was created."
"Yes. How naïve of him.." Allen sighed. "He was ready to do anything see his beloved 'father' once again. At the same time he knew nothing about price to pay for it.."

[PAST 4 YEARS AGO]

In an isolated place, a rather new grave sat. It was normal stone gravestone without any unnecessary decorations. It was founded by town folks for the traveling clown who had died in accident just barely a few days ago.
There was also the boy. The young, small, and fragile child with silver eyes which now were dully staring at the stone and red heaven before him with empty eyes. He cried far too many days and, perhaps his eyes had fully dried up.
His tears may have dried, but the wound in his heart was the same. Still aching with this unbearable pain and despair which filled the very being of the young boy ever since the death of this man.
Mana Walker, his foster father. The only being who had completely accepted his existence and now.. Now he was gone.. Leaving the child all alone with nowhere to go, in a world which shunned and hated him.
With this, the young boy shuttered. He stopped in place, unable to proceed further.
"Mana..." A soft whisper filled with an unimaginable amount of grief escaping his parted lips.
"I can bring him back." An unknown voice snapped the boy out of his trance.
The silver eyes of the boy widened, searching for the source of voice. It was fat, grinning, strange man with top hat.
Surprised, he gasped.
'Bring him back? From the dead? Impossible…But...'
But he had already taken the bait from the stranger. He was willing to do anything just to bring him back.
"I can bring Mana Walker back." Said the stranger. "But to do it, I will need your help."
"Bring him back..?" It sounded almost like a dream for the anguished, auburn-haired child. "My help?" He said a bit louder.
"Yes, yes..You see." A black skeleton appeared behind him. Of course, the offer was clearly suspicious but the young boy turned a blind eye towards it, all his judgment was now clouded with the idea of having his beloved father back.

The man's grin widened upon hearing that, as if that were possible. He has found new victim which will play along to his scenario, creating the Akuma from his sorrow and soul of the beloved one. "I am called Millennium Earl and this is the magical body that can contain soul of this 'Mana Walker.' I just need your help your help to call him back from the hateful God." He gestured at the sky.

The boy's eyes shined for the first time since the day of the accident. He slowly, unsteadily stood up and made his way towards the skeleton.
'Mana… Mana… Mana…' He thought, his eyes becoming a bit teary. 'Please come back.'
How little he knew that everything had it's price. Calling dead back included this as well. Especially that, since the price for it just created an even greater tragedy.
"Mana!" Allen shouted towards the crimson skies.
If only for a moment, the sky split in two as the soul was forcibly called down and shoved into the skeleton.

A name was carved into the back of the skull. Mana Walker.
"A...llen..." It, no, he rasped.

"Mana.." Allen whispered his name, but suddenly, he heard an amused chuckling behind him which was rather questionable, but said questioning left boy mind as soon as it appeared.

"How dare you.." The skeleton began to tremble.

"Mana!" The boy exclaimed for the second time, but he became slightly worried and unsure. Despite being blinded by the offer, he saw that Mana wasn't happy to see him, though he couldn't understand why. Why wasn't man happy like Allen that they could finally see each other? That he was alive again!
"How dare you turn me into Akuma?!" Mama shouted, cowering over the boy.
"Akuma?" The surprised child asked. What was an Akuma?
"I curse you Allen.." The skeleton raised his voice.

He sliced the boy's left eye with sharp blade embed into his humerus.
Shocked by pain, the child clutched the left side of his face with a loud shriek of hopelessness.
"Allen Walker, you are mine now." The Earl stated with another chuckle and dangerous glint in his eyes. "Now, Mana Walker. Kill this boy and wear his skin as your own." He ordered.
"I curse you.." The newborn Akuma tried to restrain himself from attacking the boy, but the Earl's orders were absolute. "Allen!"
Suddenly, his left hand began to glow, reforming its shape into a large claw, the same cross embed to the back of his palm. It pushed the Akuma far from Allen's reach.
"Mana!" He shouted in utter worry for his newly-lived foster father. His eyes filled with fear at the sight of his left arm, lips parted in inaudible scream. It crawled further to attack the Akuma, dragging Allen behind it.
"Mana!" He tried warning him of upcoming danger. "Stop! Don't do it to Mana!" He tried yelling, but it just grew closer to it's target. "Run! Father run!"
"Allen… I love you." The skeleton said his nearing last words as the grotesque arm approached it. "Please, destroy me."
Then boy left eye changed in color. The usually steel-gray eye was now a piercing black and red bullseye.
He was able to see his father's soul, now entrapped in the skeleton.
"Mana!" He shouted for the last time before his left arm sliced through Akuma, destroying it into mere dust.
Allen looked around. There was no one in here besides him. Millennium Earl had disappeared far before he realized.
He was cold, hurt, emotionally traumatized, and alone.
"Have you heard the screams in there?" Came voice of a man from the forest.
"Should we check it?" Another voice, this time a woman.
After two minutes, the pair made their way through the forest to find a lonely boy crying, his hair white as snow.
"Are you okay?" The worried woman asked and gasped seeing his face, the left side covered with blood, and his left eye such an odd color. "Dear, look at it!" She pointed the child's face to the man.
Allen held blank eyes, tears continuously streaming down his cheeks.
The woman seeing this hugged him closely, the tears soaked her shirt till he collapsed due to overstrain.
"Let's go home.." she said. "I think we should have some bandages there." She said to the man.

As Allen later learned, the couple's names were Johnny and Rebecca.

[PRESENT]

"Well… The Akuma was destroyed before it could possess said boy's body. He tried to keep it alive despite knowing it was wrong, but regardless, the killing machine was destroyed. Still.. It managed to leave a curse upon him so even till this day he would remember his sin." Allen closed his eyes.
He sincerely didn't like the idea of crying here in front of that girl.
Lenalee was too stunned to say anything. She wanted to ask how and by who Akuma was destroyed but she found her throat dry, not to mention, she just couldn't find right words to say when she opened her mouth so she remained silent.
Suddenly, tears made their way down her cheeks. She sobbed quietly upon cruel fate of the boy.
"H-Hey, don't cry!" Allen patted her worriedly on the shoulder. "I don't want to be a man that makes girls cry. You look much more beautiful when you're smiling!" He tried to cheer her up. "Besides, it's just a story, so you shouldn't cry just because of it."
She leaned closer to him and noticed how cold he really was. After a moment taken to calm down her emotions, she backed from him.
"It's time to go back. You're cold." She said.
"Guess it is." He grinned.
She made two steps towards the grave, but tripped over and fell into the cold snow.
"Are you okay?" Allen asked her worriedly
"I'm fine. I just tripped over something." She answered.
"Over something? But there's nothing here.." He frowned, but helped her to her feet
'Allen… I may have forgotten to tell you about this earlier, but I can feel Innocence around here..' Neah said.

And here's another chapter of my story. To be honest writing it was... Hell. Seriously. Writing this bits directly from manga was hard for me so probably I will refrain from it in future. I just needed this one so Black Order could take some interest in Allen or at least some of Exorcist will do so. For now I am going to continue writing chapter 5 as long as I am back from school. Or maybe even at school since today it's probably gonna be a boring day. At least I don't have any exams since we're celebrating our high school birthday or something like this and from what I head we're gonna do some things connected with art and our school patron and art. It's not that patron thing. It's the art thing that I hate – since I don't have any talent or knowledge concerning it.

Anyway it's time for me to stop sulking so I want to thank everyone for your reviews/follows/favs and I want to ask for more review/favs and follows if you like the story – I need to keep my motivation on high level if I want to continue writing despite having to attend to h school and learn properly without falling back behind rest of my class – now, I am managing to do so^^

Next update will probably be a little late though :( I try to do it as fast as I can but I am not sure if I will manage it in short amount of time.