"Why'd you change the music?"

"Because I've heard that classical music is to be considered more tasteful than AC/DC at three in the morning."

"Where'd you hear that?"

"Agent Barton. He placed a personal request for me to 'shut off the death music' before four am."

"Is that when he goes to sleep?"

"No - it's when he starts training. Believe it or not, heavy metal is rather distracting to most people."

"Hmmph. Well, tell him that it's my tower. My tower, my rules. Now, if you would kindly turn it back on -"

"Sir, there is this incredible new invention that allows your music to only be heard by you. I believe you would find it helpful."

"Mmm? What's it called?"

"Headphones."

"...Oh. That's disappointing."

"Would it be less disappointing if there was a Stark Industries swoosh on them?"

"That would brighten the situation considerably."

"Excellent. Gold or silver engraving?"

"One in gold, one in silver, and one in rose gold."

"Ah, yes - I'm sure Colonel Rhodes and Miss Potts will appreciate yet another product with your surname on it."

"...Well, actually, I was going to get those for me, but now that you mention it, I should probably get some for them too."

"...What would you need three headphones for?"

"Well, I can't have gold, silver, and rose gold on one headphone. It'll clash."

"Aren't you just the style expert."

"Nah - I only know that because Steve spent like an hour yesterday ranting about how stupid and amazing rose gold is and how it's so pretty but it doesn't compliment silver because it was pinkish or some bullshit. Honestly - leave it to Cap to be picky with gold - literally."

"Rose gold probably didn't even exist during the 1940's, sir."

"Only one kind of gold? What a shame. How did women pick their jewelry? 'Oh, I'll have goldy pinky one' - no wonder none of them wanted to get married."

"...Sir, I don't think that's quite the reason, but I'm sure you tried."

"What? That was definitely the reason. Why else wouldn't they?"

"...I'm just going to assume the sleep deprivation is talking over you. Speaking of which -"

"Don't bullshit me, Jarv - that's the only reason -"

"Sleep, sir."

"I'm not even tired!"

"You just finished four black coffees - I'd be surprised if you were."

"Exactly -"

"You're still on the brink of passing out, sir. Do both of us a favor and at least put down the soldering tool."

"...Fine."

"And the blowtorch."

"But I'm using that!"

"You won't be able to if both your hands are seared off."

"Prosthetics, Jarv. Engineers and doctors are finally learning how to work together without pissing each other off. Imagine the possibilities."

"...Again, I'm fairly sure that the arguments between those two fields of science have nothing to do with the lack of prosthetics."

"Whatever. Fuck you."

"I would have to decline. Apologies."

"More polite than most of the ladies, to be honest."

"I'd like to think that I'm a little more rare than a woman that Tony Stark has… ah, what is the phrase? 'Brought home'?"

"Getting jealous? Aw. Making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, Jarv."

"No, sir, I believe that's just the coffee setting in."

"Whatever. Same thing. Turn the music back on. Pretty please?"

"Volume at twenty five percent, no higher."

"Aw, that's no fun -"

"Twenty five percent or Canon in D Major on loop."

"...Thirty percent?"

"Twenty seven."

"Twenty eight."

"Twenty seven point five, no more bargaining or Pachelbel for the rest of time."

"Fine."