Whew! This one took forever, but it did wind up being the longest chapter yet, so hopefully worth the wait. I was originally just going to do scenes before and after the movie, like the past chapters, but since Laura's actually in Age of Ultron and a lot of readers wanted her to interact with the Avengers, I wound up weaving it in and around all her scenes in AoU too. Retconning/interpreting that to make sense of everyone's actions and keep them in character was no small feat, but I'm fairly pleased with how it worked out.

Oh, if anyone is squeamish about pregnancy stuff, you may want to skip a few scenes. This chapter's structured around Laura's pregnancy with Nathaniel and Natasha's reaction to it.

Once Natasha had moved to Avengers Tower, Clint began spending more time there as well, since his semi-retirement was a bit harder to explain when all the rest of the Avengers were moving in. Apparently Tony was very persuasive, or at least obnoxiously persistent, and wanted his whole team to bond and share their "clubhouse". Laura found his enthusiasm almost boyishly charming and hoped the man had just enough charm to keep Clint and Natasha from killing him after living with him for extended periods.

Although Clint made it clear he had business of his own he needed to deal with and that he was not back full-time, it was harder for Natasha to get away unless she wanted to deal with insinuations about romantic getaways with Clint. Laura accepted this change back to the old ways, although she regretted it. She had gotten spoiled having her husband home more consistently for the last few years.

Clint wasn't thrilled with the arrangement either, especially since he barely knew most of the people he was now working with, but she saw him warm up over the weeks as his home visits went on. He liked Dr. Banner pretty well and once Captain Rogers—Steve—moved in too, he enjoyed having someone else who got along with Natasha as well as he did. Thor came and went, making it clear that he was only remaining on Earth long enough to retrieve Loki's staff and preferred to spend as much of that time as he could with the woman he loved. They all still maintained their own lives to a fair extent, but spent time training as a team whenever they had the majority of them present and tried to bond in their downtime. Clint's stories of movie nights, group dinners, and one ill-fated but hilarious game night made Laura wish she could be a fly on the wall in the tower.

Clint's attitude improved dramatically after he came home with a beautifully-crafted bow and set of high-tech arrows that Tony had designed for him. Apparently during their training, Stark kept getting ideas of how to improve on everyone's technology and was gradually gifting his teammates with whatever he came up with. His new toy had Clint practically walking on air as he tested it and showed off around the farm. Until Natasha revealed the new stun batons Stark had built for her and Clint got slightly pouty and nervous at her eagerness to test them.

All in all, it was an exciting time for the family. The kids loved the stories Clint and Natasha came back with. Clint, for all that he had relished his retirement, seemed to perk up a bit having something to do again that didn't involve being on the front lines constantly. And since his time home was more limited, they made the most of his newfound energy whenever he was back.

Which probably explained how Laura's third pregnancy happened.

It hadn't been planned. They were happy with the two children they had and, especially since the kids were getting older, they hadn't intended to have another who was so much younger than them. But things happen in life. A night of passion after Clint had been away for a particularly long stretch had defied the odds and while Clint's defenses were down, so to speak, fate found a weakness in her own reinforcements, and their family got a bit larger.

Since Natasha was only coming back with Clint occasionally those days, she wasn't home when they found out. Clint and Laura decided to hold off telling her for a few months, until they were more certain it was going to happen. Laura was a little bit older than she had been with the first two, after all, and although she was in good health, she still held her breath a bit through the first trimester.

But the morning sickness eased and the first few checkups went by with no red flags, so by the time Laura was able to see the visible swell of their baby starting to show, they decided it was probably safe to share the news.

The biggest question was how to tell her. Revealing it by satellite phone seemed so impersonal, especially with what else they were discussing telling her. So, when Laura was in her fourth month, they arranged for Natasha to come home with Clint for a longer visit.

Despite their debate over how to break the news, they realized they needn't have bothered. Natasha had barely stepped through the front door before her sharp eyes locked on Laura, eyes flicking up and down as absorbed every change that was apparently clear enough to her despite the baggy sweater Laura wore. She glanced to Clint almost comedically, who was grinning as confirmation.

Her first response was to punch him in the arm for not telling her, then to hug Laura in congratulations. The feel of the slight bump between them seemed to unnerve her a little and Laura saved her from being unsure what to say or do next by getting out their sonogram picture to show off as Clint put her bags away in her room.

Gradually the visit moved to the kitchen table to have a hot drink and be able to talk. Having gotten the hows and whens out of the way, Laura looked at Clint to see if he was ready to broach the other topic they were thinking about. He nodded, letting her take the lead.

"Actually," she said, slightly nervously, "we're really glad you were able to visit because there's something else we wanted to ask you."

Natasha set her mug down warily, eyes confused. "Go ahead."

Laura gripped her coffee, leaning forward slightly. "Well, it's still very early and they can't tell much about the baby yet, but I've just had the strongest impression it's another girl. And, well, if it is…" She glanced at Clint again, then back. "We'd like to name her Natasha."

Laura had anticipated the unconcealed shock on Natasha's face, the abrupt stiffening of her posture, and her eyes darting for confirmation. The sudden wariness was a bit of a surprise. "Why?" she asked, a little sharply.

"Well, lots of reasons," Laura stammered, resuming her prepared words as if she had gotten the reaction she had expected. "We owe you so much. You saved Clint from Loki and brought him home safe. When S.H.I.E.L.D. fell, you erased our information rather than protecting yourself. Our family's whole and safe because of you."

"And it doesn't have to be 'Natasha'," Clint added when she stayed silent, stunned. "It can be Natalia or Natalie or we can try Alianovna if she doesn't mind everybody misspelling it around here…"

"No," she cut him off.

They both paused, Laura's heart sinking that this idea wasn't going over as well as she had hoped. "If you're not comfortable with it, don't worry about it. It was just a thought."

"No." Natasha looked up, eyes focusing again. "I just meant 'Natasha' is fine. I, um…I don't know what to say."

"But you're okay with the idea?" Clint asked.

The corner of Natasha's mouth quirked slightly, even if her eyes still looked uncertain. "It's an honor. One I don't know how to accept."

One she didn't think she deserved, Laura mused, reading her reaction. They would have to change that over the coming months.

"Well, how about with a toast?" Clint suggested, raising his mug.

That seemed to help break the tension a bit as they clinked their cups together and sipped quietly.

Natasha sat back in her chair, swirling her glass thoughtfully. "So, Natasha Barton, huh?"

"Natasha Barton," Clint agreed, resting his hand over Laura's stomach. She felt a warm glow at having an official identity for the baby she was just beginning to feel.

Natasha laughed briefly. "Poor kid."

"I think it's pretty," Clint protested.

"I meant the 'Barton' part," Natasha smirked.

"Careful, I'm a Barton too," Laura teased back, glad to see their friendly ease returning. "And so are the kids."

"And you practically are," Clint added, "so don't throw stones."

"Now, the most important thing we have to decide is what nickname we're going to call her," Laura added. "We can't have two Nats or it's going to get confusing."

"There's Tasha, but I've used that for you too," Clint said. "Tash… Little Nat… What are baby spiders called?"

"Nothing a little girl probably wants to be called," Natasha said, eyebrow raised dubiously.

"Well, we've still got five months until we meet her," Laura said, rubbing her stomach. "We'll see what fits her then."

As Laura sipped her cocoa, she noticed Natasha's eyes settling on her abdomen with that uncertain expression again. Yes, they would definitely need to spend some time making sure she was comfortable with their new family situation.

OOO

Living in Avengers Tower complicated the ease of their visits, since any time one or both slipped away from the small population, it was noticed. Clint had already established that he didn't want to be at the Tower full-time, so he was able to be home through Laura's pregnancy as much as possible. Natasha, though, had fewer excuses unless she wanted to flat-out support the team's lingering suspicions that she and Clint were a couple.

Still, despite not being able to come home with Clint as often, Natasha called frequently to check in and almost always sent something for Clint to pass on to Laura, whether it was a bag of her favorite candy, a link to a website she had read on prenatal health tips, or vitamins that were supposed to be good for the baby. Neither of the veteran parents had the heart to tell her that since they had already been through this twice before, they already knew what to do. Gathering information and researching seemed to be how Natasha got a handle on situations she felt unprepared to deal with, and Laura didn't want to discourage her.

By the time Natasha was finally able to visit in person, Laura was well into her sixth month and there was no concealing the presence of the pregnancy. As much as Natasha had been preparing herself, Laura could tell that actually seeing her friend with a prominently rounded belly was still a strange experience. Laura wondered a bit sadly whether Natasha had ever been around pregnant women at all throughout her previous life, or if the idea of creating life was a forbidden image in a world that only prepared children for violent death.

Natasha was still warm and friendly as she always was to Laura, but also immediately tried to make herself useful, offering to do everything for her. It pretty quickly became obvious Natasha was going to be even more of a nervous spouse than Clint had been since her first pregnancy. She repeatedly shooed Natasha away from helping in the kitchen, insisting she was still able to care for two rambunctious kids even without Clint or Natasha present, so she could surely manage to get drinks out of the fridge or reach items in the pantry without hurting herself or the baby. She made a mental note to take full advantage of this situation by the time she was into the last trimester, though.

Aside from becoming extra protective, Laura noticed that Natasha was trying to hide a certain amount of curiosity too. Her eyes kept darting to Laura's belly when she thought she wouldn't be noticed. When Laura did direct attention to the baby, running a hand across her stomach, Natasha's eyes followed her every moment. Unspoken questions and thoughts Laura couldn't quite read hung in the air every time, but Natasha never gave them voice. It reminded Laura of Cooper's reaction when she was pregnant with Lila, except kids never hesitated to ask whatever was on their minds.

Clearly Laura was going to have to take matters into her own hands to break the ice.

When Clint left to pick the kids up from school, Laura and Natasha were sitting on the couch, chatting and idly watching TV, and the perfect opportunity presented itself. The baby woke up and stretched strongly enough to surprise Laura.

Natasha, attuned to Laura's every movement, was instantly alert to her shift. "You okay?"

Laura grinned, imagining Natasha was suddenly worried she would have to drive Laura to the delivery room. "Yeah," she said, rubbing the spot on her belly. "She's just kicking."

After the original ultrasound to confirm everything was off to a good start, they had yet to drive all the way back to town for an ultrasound confirming the sex of the baby, but they had been calling it 'she' since Natasha agreed to the naming offer.

"Ah." Natasha accepted her explanation, seeming unsure what else to say. But again Laura caught the dart of her eyes toward her stomach, followed by the careful schooling of her features and that slight solemn edge that Laura couldn't quite figure out.

The baby stirred again and Laura went for it.

"Would you like to feel it?"

The sudden flash of almost comedic terror and embarrassment on Natasha's face was worth the question a thousand times over. "Uh, that's all right."

"Come on, she's your namesake. She should start getting to know you."

"She hasn't been born yet," Natasha retorted, brow furrowing.

"No, but she can sense things. She can feel us as much as I can feel her. Here, look."

Laura caught Natasha's wrist and gently but firmly put her hand against her belly. Natasha froze, barely breathing as she went rigid in Laura's grip, like a rabbit ready to bolt. Laura pretended she didn't notice, maintaining the air of normality about this whole thing.

They waited. And of course, with that awareness every child seems to have of when people are watching, nothing happened.

"She stopped?" Natasha asked finally, voice a bit tight.

Laura snorted. "Happens every time. As soon as you get out the camera or—"

The baby kicked, as if indignant at the accusation, and Natasha nearly leapt out of her own skin. Her eyes snapped to Laura's laughing ones. "That was her?"

"Yep," Laura grinned, trying not to laugh too much at her poor, scared friend.

Natasha looked back at her hand. "Doesn't that hurt?"

"Nah, not yet. It's a little uncomfortable when she aims at my ribs or bladder, but she's still pretty small yet. It won't get too bad until she starts running out of room and my skin runs out of stretch."

"I'd heard of babies kicking, but I didn't know you could feel it that…strong." Natasha looked a bit embarrassed, her hand still rigid against Laura's stomach.

"Wait till she's due. Every movement looks more dramatic." Laura leaned back slightly, looking down fondly. "It's easy to forget they're doing stuff in there before they're born. Like you imagine them just kind of sleeping, but they kick and turn around and apparently suck their thumbs, though I can't feel anything like that. Cooper used to get hiccups a lot, though."

"You can feel hiccups?" Natasha asked, incredulous.

"Yeah, it was weird. And they can feel us back too." She let go of Natasha's hand and started pressing in on the other side of her belly, trying to encourage the baby to move again.

Natasha was still slightly pink, but her hand stayed in place without being told now. She watched Laura search for where would get the baby's attention. "I always thought everything felt…hard," she commented as Laura's fingers dented into the soft skin around the baby.

Laura smiled, glad Natasha was starting to relax and open up about the pregnancy. "It will feel firmer later on, once she's almost ready to be born. I'm only about two thirds of the way through now, so she's still got room to grow."

The idle pattern she started tapping on her skin finally got a reaction and the baby extended what was probably her leg to meet it. Natasha visibly squirmed back as she saw Laura's skin stretch and distort around the movement through the thin material of her shirt.

Laura felt a pang of regret at herself. "Sorry. I forgot this freaks people out sometimes."

"No," Natasha assured her, calming slightly. "I just… I didn't know you could see it like that." She looked away, the tension coming back again. "Pregnancy…wasn't really included in my training."

"I bet," Laura said sadly. Now it was her turn to feel awkward, touching on the dark shadows of Natasha's past. She decided not to address it directly, just offering what she could.

"Well, anything you think of you want to know, please feel free to ask. I'm not squeamish about stuff like this and, well, she's kind of the big project I've got going on right now," she added, with an exaggeratedly pointed expression. "Artists always like talking about their creative process. We're kind of needy that way."

Natasha smiled slightly then, amused. "Thanks. Just…let me know if I'm doing something wrong."

"You don't need to worry. Just keep being you and relax. You're doing great." She nodded at her belly. "I think she likes you, too."

Now Natasha gave her a dry look. "You're projecting that to make me feel better."

Laura laughed. "Okay, I am a bit, but she does know you're there and that counts for something. They think hearing parents' voices while in the womb helps with bonding too."

"I've heard. You really think she's listening to us?" Natasha asked, the curiosity starting to return.

"Well, I don't think she understands any of it or could even make much out, since she's basically underwater, but they can supposedly recognize different voices. Clint talks to her a lot. Even sings sometimes."

"You're kidding." Natasha's eyebrow raised and Laura had a sense she was filing that bit of information away for later teasing use.

"I'm not. It's…'cute' I think is the safest word to use." Laura stifled a yawn, feeling the after-lunch drowsiness starting to set in. The tiredness was one of the more annoying non-pain-related parts of pregnancy for her. "I think I might relax for a bit here, so feel free to go for it if you want," she said, leaning back on the couch and shifting to get comfortable. "Probably good for her to start learning your voice."

"What am I supposed to say?" Natasha asked dubiously.

Laura shrugged, resting her head on the back of the couch and closing her eyes. "Doesn't matter. She won't understand it yet anyway."

Letting out a relaxing breath, Laura allowed herself to drift, trying to let Natasha feel like she wasn't paying attention. She nearly had fallen asleep when she felt a tentative touch on her stomach. She was careful not to react, giving Natasha this time between her and the baby.

Natasha said something quietly in what Laura slowly recognized as Russian. Although Laura knew a reasonable amount of the language by now, she suspected it gave Natasha the illusion of a bit more privacy. The words started out hesitant, as cautious as the fingertips on her belly. The touch recoiled when the baby moved against her hand, and Laura was glad the baby was responding directly to her.

She almost thought that was the end of it for the day, but to her pleasant surprise, Natasha's hand returned with more resolve. The baby stretched out again and this time Natasha pressed back against the bump, rubbing whatever part of the baby it was with one finger as she said something in a warmer voice. Laura felt Natasha move her hand to another area on her stomach and the baby met her touch there too. Natasha laughed slightly, then moved her hand around a few more times, seeing if the baby could find her from different angles. Each time her touch was rewarded with a kick or nudge, Natasha commented in the same tone Laura recognized from whenever she would praise Cooper or Lila for doing well.

Laura realized she was beaming despite trying not to react. Natasha was already teaching and playing with the baby.

Gradually, the baby's responses slowed as she either got tired, frustrated, or bored with the game. Natasha's hand slowed too, then slowly retreated.

"Laura?"

Laura opened her eyes, seeing Natasha still watching her belly with a pensive expression. "Yeah?"

"Do you…like being pregnant?"

Laura stretched, waking up further. "I prefer the result. It'd be nice to be able to get the kid without the nausea and pain and childbirth, but it's still a pretty magical time, yeah."

Natasha had a bit of an odd look on her face. "Were you ever…scared of it?"

"The first time, definitely," Laura said, pondering that expression. "Neither Clint or I had any real experience with kids and I hadn't really been around pregnant women either, so it was all unknown territory. And the first months are always scary because you don't know if anything's wrong and you might lose the baby or do something wrong before you realize you're pregnant. And the labor, for sure. Not the pain, so much, but at that point it's real, you know? Suddenly the baby's really there and you're responsible for it. So yeah, it can be, but there's good with the scary. It's definitely worth it."

Natasha made a 'hm' sound, still staring quietly.

Laura cocked her head, something dawning on her mind. "Nat, are you thinking about having kids?"

Natasha startled slightly, giving a slight bitter laugh as she sat back. "My life doesn't really allow for having kids."

"Maybe," Laura said, taking in this new development. "But S.H.I.E.L.D.'s gone, mostly, and your work with the Avengers doesn't have to be all-consuming. There are six of you, so I'm sure they can afford to let some of you take time off now and then. If you're really thinking about kids or a relationship or something outside of work, now might be the best time to start exploring that option."

Natasha was quiet for a moment and Laura finally recognized that odd solemn expression as a sort of wistfulness. Then she shook her head slightly with her usual wry smile. "I'm already aunt to the best kids in the world. Shouldn't be greedy."

Laura's brow furrowed a little, wondering why she was so quick to write off the possibility. "Well, I can't argue with that, but—"

She never got to finish because at that moment Clint came in the front door with the children, who became a whirlwind of excitement to see their favorite aunt, and they didn't have another quiet moment to broach the topic again before Natasha had to head back to New York. But the conversation lingered in Laura's mind frequently over the coming months.

OOO

The further her pregnancy advanced, the more Laura became convinced that the Avengers were trying to put Clint and Natasha in harm's way. More "raiding parties", more skirmishes with remnants of HYDRA, more time for her mind to play out worst case scenarios of being left a single mother if something went wrong. Maybe it was her own hormones making her resent their work more, but when the team was called to Eastern Europe to raid a HYDRA compound during her eighth month, Laura couldn't hide her annoyance at the nerve-wracking timing.

Clint seemed pained and apologetic too and offered to stay home, but if Nick Fury and now-Director Coulson were breaking their fake-death covers to call the whole team, it had to be a big deal. So Laura dealt with it and reassured him that she was still very capable and had the kids to help out and wished him a safe trip. She promised to call him if she felt anything like a contraction and he in return was to check in frequently so she didn't have to worry more than necessary.

And so she did what she always did after sending him off and put it to the back of her mind, focusing on the kids and the house, both of which seemed to have never ending lists of needs and work. Being in the moment kept her focus off the 'what if's and the increased nerves that pregnancy seemed to bring out of her.

It did not help that his first call home was to let her know that he was okay despite being hit with an energy weapon. No amount of the words 'regeneration' and 'just like new' put her mind at ease and all she wanted was to have Clint home again, safe and sound.

She had no idea that wish would be granted sooner than she expected.

Laura had been working on another round of tidying up after shooing the kids upstairs when she heard the front door open and close. She considered the nearest weapon stash in the house, but she knew it had been locked, so whoever came in had a key, which could only mean two people.

But her suspicions couldn't prepare her for coming into her living room to see the entire Avengers team standing there in varying states of disarray. In a quick glance, she found Clint, who was giving her an apologetic smile, then darted worriedly until she located Natasha. Both were whole and showed no signs of obvious blood or injury, but Natasha's eyes were a bit glazed, her whole posture odd, and the smile she offered Laura faded almost instantly to something that spoke of trauma. Her inability to maintain her mask at all spoke frightening volumes.

Laura searched Clint's eyes for explanation or a cue as to how he wanted her to handle this, but didn't have time to convey much yet. So she kept her face still, trying not to react too dramatically until Clint explained what was going on and why he'd dared to reveal their home to every member of their team.

Clearly, the team were just as baffled to see her.

"This is an agent of some kind," Stark commented, trying to fit this world into the little he knew about Clint's life.

She should have been amused, but Laura was still troubled how much Natasha was skulking near the team like a beaten dog, although trying to pull her persona together again. The rest in general seemed subdued from what she knew of them, but that in particular scared her. What had happened?

"Guys, this is Laura," Clint introduced, making her focus her attention on the full team again.

She gave them a slight smile, realizing the awkwardness of the situation and beginning to take in the fact that Captain America and Thor and all the others were standing in her house. "I know all of your names."

Then the stampede of excited feet down the stairs heralded the arrival of their children. As much as her heart always warmed to see Clint with the kids, maternal fear flickered in Laura about revealing them to the Avengers.

To their credit, Stark just kept his comments to a joke as he attempted to process this too. "These are…smaller agents."

Normally the kids would have loved having Iron Man call them agents, but to Laura's surprise, having their family back home was a bigger priority to the kids than the team of superheroes in the house. Which, considering who their father was, maybe did make this just like having their parents' work friends over for dinner. Or maybe their lifestyle up to this point just made them that much warier of any unexpected visitors.

"Did you bring Auntie Nat?" Lila asked, eagerly.

Laura almost started to cut in to buy Natasha time if she wasn't up for company, but as ever, the effect of the children was profound. Lila's voice was like a light switch, cutting through the haze around Natasha, and suddenly Auntie Nat was there in full swing, swooping in to scoop up her adopted niece with a teasing, "Why don't you hug me and find out?"

Laura caught a sense of how forced her cheer was as she walked over and made a mental note to investigate it further when she could. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Cooper watching and glancing up at Clint too. Their son had always been so observant and perceptive. Had he caught the lapse in Natasha's mask too?

As the initial shock seemed to be broken, Captain—Steve started to take some kind of charge again. "Sorry for barging in on you."

"Yeah," Stark added, "we could have called ahead but we were busy having no idea that you existed."

"Yeah, well, Fury helped me set this up when I joined." Clint gave Cooper a bit of a reassuring look before adding pointedly, "Uh, kept it off S.H.I.E.L.D.'s files. Like to keep it that way. Figured it's a good place to lay low."

Laura very distinctly intended to have a conversation with him later about all of this, but he was making their concerns clear, so she left it at that. If he chose to trust them, she would play the hostess.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Natasha flick a guilty look at Dr. Banner, then avoid his somewhat stern gaze. Another mental note to address that further soon too.

Since Clint seemed to have a handle on getting the team introduced and settled, Laura focused on finally getting to greet Natasha. She didn't like how much she was almost cringing around her friends. Where was the cocky super spy who controlled every room she entered? She knew Natasha wouldn't discuss anything remotely vulnerable in front of her team, but Laura still needed to do something to try to comfort her friend.

"Honey…" she said softly, catching her attention.

Natasha gave her an almost-right smile, seeming to be able to be herself more when she was focused on Laura or the kids. "I've missed you," she said, her friendly tone failing to hide her tension. "How's little Natasha, hm?"

It shocked the hell out of Laura that Natasha reached out to touch her belly without needing an invitation, especially in front of her team. She briefly wondered if it was another grounding effort, like she had used so long ago to come back from her PTSD flashbacks, but then the question itself sank in.

This was absolutely not the scenario in which she had wanted to break the news of her recent ultrasound to Natasha, but she had no choice now but to answer. "She's…Nathaniel," she said, apologizing with every ounce of her expression.

Natasha's smile faded and Laura tried to guess how many emotions were no doubt twisting behind her eyes, fearing this little disappointment might be what finally broke the fragile charade holding Natasha together at that moment.

But the mask won out again and Natasha just bent slightly to address the baby and give it a dry accusation of "Traitor," but nothing more.

"So, things went bad, huh?" Laura asked, keeping her voice gently casual.

"Yeah, might not want to watch the news for a while," Clint answered.

"We, uh, damaged our public image," Dr. Banner commented, avoiding her eyes. "And a lot more."

Natasha gave him a concerned look that lingered a bit longer than Laura would have expected. She definitely filed that away for later.

"Wasn't anybody's fault," Clint said firmly, hugging Laura and Cooper a bit tighter. "Nobody was in their right mind."

Laura wondered what that meant, but she was distracted as she saw Natasha jerk slightly, as if startled. Instinctively, Laura reached out to put a hand on Natasha's arm, hoping it wouldn't surprise her into a defensive strike.

Instead, Natasha seemed to relish the contact, gripping Laura's arm in return with fingers that belied her distress. Grounding again. Steadying. Her expression began looking closer to her Agent Romanoff self with the contact, so Laura maintained her hold on Natasha's bicep, giving the impression the touch was solely from her initiation.

When Thor abruptly walked out of the room, Steve on his heels, Laura realized how long they had kept their visitors lingering in the entryway.

"Clint, why don't you and the kids start showing our guests where they can clean up and settle in?" she suggested.

"Yeah. Here, we've got some spare rooms," he said, indicating with his head as he led Stark and Banner out of the living room.

"I'll say," Stark said. "You afford this place on S.H.I.E.L.D.'s budget or mine? Because if I funded some of this you could name a room after me. You know, just a thought…"

"Nat, would you give me a hand getting some drinks?" Laura asked before Natasha could follow them.

Natasha shot a last look after Dr. Banner, who didn't even glance back, then nodded. "Sure. No problem."

With the rest of the team out of the room, things felt back to normal again. It was just her and Natasha in the kitchen like any other visit, getting a few drinks together. Granted they were preparing those drinks for people like Thor and the Hulk and Captain America, but still, for the moment, it could feel like a regular day.

If she didn't consider how shaky Natasha's movements were.

"We so rarely have any kind of company, I'm not even sure I have enough glasses for everyone," Laura commented, trying to draw out a normal conversation.

"I don't think they'll mind if anything matches. Just give Tony one of the kids' cups."

It reassured her that Natasha could joke. Taking that as a good sign, Laura stepped forward slightly, lowering her voice. "Just so you know, that wasn't how I wanted to tell you about…the baby."

Natasha stiffened, but shook her head, staying casual. "It's all right. Don't worry about it."

"He's still honoring you and he'll know that's where his name came from. But I'm sorry. I shouldn't have proposed the idea until we were sure—"

"Laura," Natasha interrupted. "It's really fine. It's not like it's something you could control." She reached for a glass in the dish drainer and suddenly jerked back with a sharp gasp, the glass dropping from her hand.

"Nat!" Laura caught the glass before it fell off the counter, but hesitated in front of Natasha, knowing not to touch her while her eyes were glazed and distant like that. She was right. Whatever happened out there had triggered Natasha's flashbacks again. Laura scanned the area Natasha had been looking and saw nothing out of the ordinary except a few knives lying in the stainless steel sink waiting to be cleaned. Could those have done it? If so, she didn't want to think about what memory they conjured.

Beside her, she saw Natasha begin to pull herself back to the present. "Hey," Laura said, raising her hand to loosely catch Natasha's, in case she chose to accept the support. "You're safe. You're home."

Weakly, Natasha's fingers squeezed hers back, her eyes clearing but still haunted. "Sorry."

"No 'sorry's. Let me get you some water, okay?" Laura turned to pick up a cup without pulling her other hand out of Natasha's.

"I'm fine. Really." Natasha steadied herself, letting go of Laura's hand and straightening up.

"You know whenever you want to talk about what happened out there, I'm right here," Laura said, filling the cup.

"I know." Natasha accepted the water, drinking less than she probably should. "The flashes, they're just…Red Room again."

Laura watched her patiently, trying not to let too much pity blend with the sympathy in her eyes. And she really tried not to think about the knives in the sink. "I'm sorry."

Natasha shook her head. "Nothing new. They're just…harder these days."

Laura realized Natasha's gaze had settled on one of Lila's drawings on the fridge and her heart tightened. The sound of water from the pipes upstairs reminded her they wouldn't have much time alone and Natasha probably wouldn't be willing to talk more than that with the team this close. Not knowing what else to offer in such a short window of opportunity, Laura just touched Natasha's arm, then gently pulled her in for a hug.

Her belly got there first and Natasha jerked suddenly, squirming out of Laura's reach. "I, uh, think I'm going to get cleaned up," she said, avoiding Laura's eyes oddly. "Everything still…?"

"Yeah, you know where it is," Laura nodded, accepting the sudden distance even if she regretted it. "Not sure which showers are claimed already."

"It's fine." Natasha hesitated briefly at the kitchen door to say, "Thanks." Then she was moving quickly away.

Worried and disturbed, Laura watched Natasha make a beeline back to the staircase, barely acknowledging Steve as he came back in the front door. Steve paused, watching her pass with an expression that told Laura he was concerned about Natasha's demeanor too.

Then he noticed her and switched back to being the polite captain of the Avengers. "Thor decided to take care of some things on his own, so one less of us to impose upon you."

"Oh. Okay." Her brain shifted gears, trying to move from her worry about Natasha through the brief disappointment that she wouldn't get to talk to the actual Norse god of thunder to the new realization that she was talking to Captain America himself. "You guys aren't an imposition, don't worry."

Steve gave her a politely charming smile that confirmed for her why he had such a winning effect on people. "Thank you, but I know we brought a lot of unexpected trouble into your life all of a sudden and I'm sorry."

"I'm married to Clint. Trust me, him bringing home interesting people is nothing new to me," Laura said dryly.

"I guess so." Steve glanced back the direction Natasha had left and Laura knew he had a ton of questions building in his mind. But he seemed to shake it off, returning his attention to her. "I'm sure the bathrooms are going to be full for a while yet, so is there anything I can do to help out around here in the meantime?"

Laura waved him off. "You're a guest, you don't need to do anything."

"Really, anything you need done, I'm more than happy to help," he insisted.

Laura almost turned him down again, but then she noticed the uncomfortable way he was standing, the awkward energy around him. And she recognized that he was needing something to keep him busy instead of sitting still. Everyone had their own way of coping.

"Well, if you're really looking for something to do… You ever chopped wood before?"

He perked up a bit with a new task in front of him. "Yes, ma'am. I've done a bit of that in my time."

"Good. The nights get a bit chilly here and that's a chore I don't really want to do anymore this far along," she said, touching the side of her stomach pointedly.

Steve nodded knowingly. "Glad to help out. Just show me the way."

"Thanks." She started to direct him toward the door, then paused. "Oh, before things get busy again, I just wanted to thank you for being there for Natasha when S.H.I.E.L.D. fell."

The sudden shift in topics caught him off guard. "She had my back as much as I had hers."

"I believe it, but I meant…emotionally too. You've probably noticed she doesn't have a lot of people close to her and with Clint retired…she could have been left on her own against HYDRA. It means a lot to us that she had you."

Steve shook his head slightly. "It wasn't a big deal. We just were able to trust each other and worked well together. I'm not sure what else I did to deserve credit."

"With her, that is a big deal apparently," Laura said, smiling. "She talks very highly of you and you know she doesn't do that for a lot of people." She winced. "Although maybe don't tell her I told you that."

Steve smiled now. "I won't. But…thanks."

"Thank you. It gives me more peace of mind knowing both Natasha and Clint have teammates like you making sure they get to come home safe."

Something flickered through Steve's eyes and any hint of his smile disappeared abruptly. He shifted uncomfortably again, trying to hide his agitation and failing just as much as before. "Well, I should probably get to the firewood before night falls. You said right over here?"

"Yeah. The axe is in the garage…"

She directed him, then stood in the doorway watching as he walked away. So Natasha wasn't the only one triggered by what had happened today. She thought about the subdued air of the team earlier, the odd awkwardness that went beyond simply being out of place in a stranger's house. What had gone on today? And how many of them had scars that were torn open again?

Perhaps sensing her stress, Nathaniel gave a few kicks against her skin. Laura stroked the area soothingly. "Shhh. It's okay. I think it's about time to go and find your father, hm?"

Leaving Steve to his work, she headed upstairs. The hallway bathroom was occupied and she could see Natasha sitting on the bed in her usual room, likely waiting for her turn at that one. The kids were in Cooper's room talking excitedly in hushed tones. Today was likely to be one that would be remembered for a long time.

Laura continued on to their bedroom and found the door closed. She knocked. "Just me."

"It's okay. I'm decent anyway."

"Oh, I could probably argue that," she said, opening the door to step in.

She stopped as she saw him changed out of his uniform, pulling a clean shirt over his head. Her eyes were glued to his side, the area he had admitted by phone was badly injured in their raid on the HYDRA base. Badly enough to need tissue regeneration.

"Well, I wouldn't be able to come up with much of a defense." He paused, seeing her focus. Glancing down, he pulled the shirt the rest of the way on, lifting the hem so she could still see the healed area. "Hey, told you they patched me up good, huh?"

Laura closed the door behind her, coming over to judge for herself. "You said it was a laser blast?"

"Some kind of energy weapon thing, yeah. If they'd had the decency to use good old honest arrows, wouldn't have even slowed me down."

"Uh-huh," she commented skeptically, but knew he was trying to keep from upsetting her further. She examined the skin with both eyes and fingers, searching for any sign of lingering problems or burns. Despite an eye very used to seeing scarring of all kinds on Clint's body, she had to admit it was a pretty spotless repair. "Well, I guess I give your doctor credit."

"See? You worried for nothing. Can't even feel the difference, can you?"

She wasn't ready to let go of the issue that easily. He had still needed extensive burn repair in the first place, which didn't sit well with her, but she knew he wanted her to know he was okay and she didn't want to have an argument right now anyway, so she changed the subject.

"If they're sleeping here, some of them are gonna have to double up." Her voice wasn't quite casual, but it was the best she could manage at the moment.

Clint laughed as he finished dressing. "Yeah, that's not gonna sell."

Laura paced around, absently picking up his jacket as another memory surfaced. "What about Nat and Dr. Banner? How long has that been going on?"

Now Clint stopped, giving her a puzzled look. "Has what?"

Genuine amusement rose through her cloud of worry. Oh, Clint, her incredible marksman, the man codenamed Hawkeye for his visual acuity and ability to spot a target from remarkable distances… And he was just as blind to certain personal details as he had ever been.

"You are so cute," she teased, although she found it absolutely true at the moment.

Clint looked completely baffled, disbelieving something that big could slip past his notice. "Nat and Banner?" he pressed incredulously.

"I'll explain when you're older, Hawkeye."

He still looked doubtful, but shrugged it off. "Well, okay."

Laura's teasing mood faded as she remembered Natasha's flashback in the kitchen. "It's bad, right?" she asked, walking over to Clint. "Nat seems really shaken."

Clint sighed, seeming to think through his words. "Ultron has these allies, these, uh, kids. They're punks, really, but they carry a big damn stick. And Nat took a serious hit."

Laura's mind swirled at his explanation. What the hell did that mean? Clint had told her in an earlier call about the escape of this Ultron robot, but now the robot had kids working for him? Literal kids or-? And what was the stick? What did they do to Natasha?

But before she could ask for more details, she heard footsteps in the hallway outside, passing and heading down the stairs. There was no true privacy in the house right then. Too many ears in too close of quarters. Clearly he wasn't willing to get into a deep conversation right now.

She almost started switching to sign language, but he continued in an exaggeratedly friendly voice, almost the same tone he used when talking to Lila, "Someone's gonna have to teach them some manners."

Laura didn't appreciate his patronizing tone after everything she had been through with him already and was about to say as much when abruptly it hit her. Clint was just as shaken as the rest were. Seeing Natasha like that, watching his whole team get taken down and then ending up on the run from the people they had wanted to help… He wanted a chance to collapse too, but he was the only one who was still holding it together, so he didn't have that luxury yet.

He had to be the dad.

"That someone being you," she said, understanding, but the whole situation that was piling up at her doorstep was starting to sit uncomfortably with her.

"You know I totally support your avenging," she said, following him as he moved to sit by the window, looking out. "I couldn't be prouder. But I see those guys… Those gods…"

She rubbed his shoulder as they watched Stark walk over to Steve and start chopping wood with him.

"You don't think they need me," Clint commented, voicing what she knew was an old concern since joining the team.

"I think they do. Which is a lot scarier." She watched the men the world knew as Iron Man and Captain America working around each other tensely, not even synchronized enough to avoid trying to pick up the same logs or take turns with the axe. "They're a mess."

Clint sighed. "Yeah. I guess they're my mess."

Laura stroked his hair, savoring the feeling of knowing he was home, mostly whole, and safe in their little bubble of peace once more. Because she knew it wasn't going to last long before they were off again to face the enemies who had already hurt them this bad.

"You need to be sure," she said, allowing herself one of the rare times she let herself voice her concerns about his chosen lifestyle. "That this team is really a team and they have your back."

To her relief—and, frankly, Clint's continued good health—he didn't try to argue her worries or point out that her hormones were making her edgier about everything. He just stood up, wrapped her in his arms, and let her vent.

"Things are changing for us," she said as she let herself lean into his strong, intimately familiar presence. "In a few months' time you and me are gonna be outnumbered," she added, feeling the mass of her belly between them, Nathaniel shifting at the added pressure of their hug. "I need…"

She didn't even know how to voice every concern, every worst case scenario, every doubt and fear and desire to keep their family together and protected and alive.

"Just be sure."

Clint smiled back, radiating calm confidence and love to soothe the anxiousness in her heart. "Yes, ma'am."

It was promise enough, words that held as much meaning for the two of them as the vows they had spoken years before. And their kiss conveyed the rest of the commitment and reassurance he couldn't put into words. For now, it was enough.

They continued to hold onto each other for a moment longer, not yet ready to tackle the emotions and troubles of the rest of the world. Laura longed for the simplicity of the past times Clint had come home, Natasha at his side. Their partnership made sense and fit with their family. This time, throwing so many wounded people together at once, with threats on the horizon and tension between the teammates, with Natasha barely speaking to them and Clint having to be the rock at the center of the group, with Laura's own body itself insisting change was coming and she had to prepare for it…

Laura's hand ran along the regenerated skin on Clint's side, so deceptively similar, but unable to erase the damage they could both remember.

"I can feel the difference."

OOO

They only allowed themselves another moment before Cooper was knocking on the door saying Lila needed a bathroom and they pulled themselves back into the real world. Then Dr. Banner needed a room where he could meditate for a while undisturbed and Laura tried not to laugh as she watched Clint size him up when he wasn't looking, clearly searching for whatever cues Laura had picked up on that he hadn't, though all she was getting off him now was stress and self-loathing, not much different from the rest of the Avengers.

With the team occupied, Clint decided to tackle more of the household projects, roping the kids into coming with him to fix the railing on the porch. Laura, finding herself alone for the moment, decided to figure out how she was going to feed all of these people tonight.

She was doing the math to triple a recipe when there was a quiet knock at the back door. Thinking Stark or Steve had gotten locked out, she walked over and opened it.

"You know, it might be wise these days to look before opening your doors."

Laura jumped, realizing it was Nick Fury. "What are you doing here?" she snapped, stress answering before she remembered who she was talking to.

Fury seemed unfazed, though. "Maria Hill filled me in on what's going on. Came to have a word with the team."

Laura nodded. "Well, most of them are out front so if you want to just follow the porch around—"

"Actually, I was thinking I'd see if I could talk to Stark first before I announce myself to the rest. You mind if I speak to him privately somewhere?"

"No." Laura thought, not sure where Banner or Natasha were in the house at this point. "The barn's pretty guaranteed to be empty. I presume you want me to keep it quiet that he's going to see you?"

"If it's not too much trouble."

"No, no problem." She had lived with spies for more than ten years. She was used to their quirks and habits. If Nick Fury wanted to have a covert meeting and use subterfuge to lure Tony Stark into her barn, it wasn't the weirdest thing she'd ever had to do.

"Oh, Director?" she called as he started walking away.

"Just Nick now."

"Sure, fine. Is anybody else coming out here today?"

"I hope not."

"Me too," she said, closing the door and going back to recalculate her dinner plans.

OOO

One of the advantages of coming from a large Italian family was that Laura knew how to feed a lot of hungry mouths on short notice. Since pasta could stretch a long way and satisfy pretty big households of grown men, she decided spaghetti was a safe bet for even superpowered housefuls of men.

Whether it was because they were superheroes, guests, or just gentlemen in general, Laura found that not one of the team was willing to just sit back and have a pregnant woman do all the work cooking for them. And so she wound up with the unique experience of directing the Avengers themselves around her kitchen.

Laura insisted on making the sauce herself as it was a family recipe, but was more than happy to delegate the rest. Dr. Banner—Bruce—seemed happy being put in charge of the salad preparation. Steve seemed confident with cooking the noodles. Tony was initially more of a hindrance than a help, offering ideas on how he could improve the heat efficiency of their stove and dreaming up new designs for appliances he could rig up for them until Clint had the great idea to have Tony pick a wine or two for the evening, which gave him a chance to direct his energies to a topic that was more out of the way. Even Nick Fury took her instructions as he gave himself the task of setting the table.

Laura was glad to see Natasha was much more herself after a shower and some time alone. Without even being asked, she stepped in and started slicing the bread and putting it into a basket at the center of the table. To Laura's relief, Natasha picked up and handled the knife without a single indication of discomfort, and before long she was joining in the banter with the rest of the team. Clint caught Laura's eyes from where he was entertaining the kids in the living room and she saw he had noticed her improvement too.

Dinner actually wound up being a joy. Laura had expected Nick to want to talk shop, but he insisted that everyone could use a little downtime to recuperate before getting down to business. So they all piled around the table like a spontaneous Thanksgiving dinner, complete with mismatched plates and random chairs pulled in to give everyone a space.

As ever, the kids proved a blessing in terms of breaking awkward tension. While they had initially looked at the visitors with the uncertainty of meeting their father's coworkers, once they were finally given permission to ask The Avengers questions, as long as they weren't too personal or impolite, the room was quickly filled with the excited energy only kids can bring.

To their credit, the Avengers responded well, the enthusiasm warming them out of their stresses and trauma for at least a little while. While Banner was a little reserved and deferred questions about the Hulk, he was polite overall. Stark seemed initially a bit unsure how to act around the kids until Cooper's questions about the software he used for his Iron Man suit impressed the engineer enough that Laura worried she might have to separate them before Stark honestly considered recruiting her son. Steve was a natural with the kids, happy to answer all Lila's questions and listen to her stories of what Natasha had taught her. The easy banter between Steve and Natasha warmed Laura's heart too and confirmed their partnership had a solid, genuine core.

Laura had to admit, she wasn't sure how Natasha would do having to interact with both her team and the kids in the same moment. She knew as well as anyone the variety of personas Natasha adopted naturally depending on who she was with. The Black Widow whose reputation was infamous around the world was different from the Agent Romanoff who worked professionally and coolly with S.H.I.E.L.D., both of which were nearly unrecognizable from the Natasha who was a friend and sister to the Bartons, much less the Auntie Nat who the kids adored.

However, rather than seeming torn between identities here, Laura concluded Natasha had another self when she was with the Avengers. Not as cold or ruthless as the Widow, not as serious as Agent Romanoff, more playful like the Natasha she knew, but without the level of intimacy and open trust yet. With the Avengers she was Romanoff, and it spoke well of them all that she had found some kind of happy medium that she could be around them.

As the meal wore down, it became clear that the brief respite had been indulged as long as they could afford and reality loomed its shadow over their house again. Laura dismissed the kids to go play in the living room while the grownups got things picked up. With them went the easy good cheer and she could almost feel the darkness seep back into the team.

Once again, the boys helped her clean up, picking up the plates, washing dishes, and putting things away. She sensed they too wanted to delay the inevitable a bit longer, savoring the little bubble of normalcy the Barton household represented before it was back to genocidal robots and mind control and public hatred. But finally there were no more excuses and the dining room was turned into a war room once more.

Laura let herself blend into the background. Clint would speak on their family's behalf if anything the team decided threatened them. Despite her connections, she wasn't an Avenger and it wasn't really her place to insert herself in their decision-making now. So she went about her evening routine, reminding the kids that just because they had very unusual company didn't mean they got to stay up late or avoid the usual nightly chores. Cooper was reluctant, clearly wishing he could stay and eavesdrop on what the adults were talking about. She would have to make sure he hadn't planted any kind of listening devices around the house after he was back in his room.

Despite Laura's instructions not to bother the Avengers while they were talking, Lila insisted she had to do "one last thing". Before Laura could stop her, the little girl had run over and handed Natasha one of her drawings. As always, Natasha's more severe persona vanished instantly when interacting with the children, and she thanked Lila with a warm smile before dropping almost chillingly fast back to business.

"You drew something for Auntie Nat?" Laura asked as she shepherded the kids up the stairs.

"Yeah. I thought she needed it," Lila said with the seriousness of the very young.

"Is that so? What did you draw?"

"A butterfly."

"Aw, that's pretty. I'm sure she loved it."

"Hope so. I drew it because butterflies start out as just caterpillars and some people think they're bad, but when they grow up they become beautiful and help flowers grow and make the world nicer. So they make me think of Auntie Nat."

Laura stopped, stunned, on the stairs as the kids continued up. All the time she had been aware of how perceptive Cooper was, but apparently she had underestimated how much Lila was growing up too. And her heart swelled with pride for the people her kids were turning out to be.

By the time Laura had the kids settled in and headed back downstairs, the team was already in motion, talking out plans. The regret in Laura's heart was confirmed when she saw Clint back in his Hawkeye gear approaching her with an apologetic expression.

"Should've figured I wouldn't be lucky enough to have you back for even a full twelve hours," she said, a bit of her genuine disappointment seeping into her attempt to sound casual.

"I'm sorry. We figured out where Ultron's likely to go and it means our doctor friend is in danger. Can't leave her without help, especially after the patch job she did for me."

"I know," Laura said, pulling him close for a hug while she could. "Go be a hero. I've got things here."

"If we get this done now, then things can go back to normal and we can focus on getting ready for little Nate. I'm gonna finish reflooring that sunroom as soon as I get back."

"Yeah, and then you'll find another part of the house to tear apart."

"No," Clint's voice was calm, but she caught the more serious undertone instead of his usual banter back. "It's the last project. I promise."

The real meaning of that promise and the look in his eyes hit her and suddenly she couldn't contain her emotions anymore. She pulled Clint into a kiss, holding onto his face as if life would try to rip him away the instant she let go. He poured just as much emotion and regret into it, clinging to each other for one more stolen moment before the job called him back far from home.

Finally, she let him go, just as she had every previous time. And she would just have to trust him to come back safe, just as he had every previous time. Not that the previous times had included killer robots, but…

"Don't worry, we'll get him back here in one piece this time," Natasha said as she walked up, voice and demeanor fully back to her usual, mission-ready self. "He's going with me and Cap, so he should be in pretty good hands."

Laura hated to admit it but she did feel better that Clint was with the two people she trusted most out of the team. "All right," she said, drawing Natasha in for a hug too. "But he knows he'd better bring you back safe too. This kid needs to know who he was named for, right?"

"Yes, ma'am." Natasha pulled back and rested one hand against Laura's belly. "Ne baluysya, Nathaniel."

"Right," Clint smiled. "You hear her, Nate? Be good for Mommy and don't go anywhere until we get back."

"Barton?"

Laura was almost amused that all three of them looked up when Steve called.

"We've got to fly," he said apologetically from the doorway. "Ma'am, thank you for everything."

Laura nodded, not fully trusting her voice at that moment.

"Sorry," Clint whispered again.

"Hey, when Captain America's calling, you'd better answer," she managed, giving him one last squeeze on the arm.

Laura watched them go from the porch, allowing herself a moment of sadness and self-pity that her husband had to constantly be away, in the face of danger. Then she took a deep breath, put it aside, and went back inside to make sure everything was taken care of and put away the guest sheets she apparently didn't need after all.

OOO

The visit from the Avengers was all the kids could talk about the next day. Laura was glad the kids had gotten such a special experience, even if she wasn't sure how to keep them from slipping up and telling their friends at school about it. Their steady stream of conversation also didn't help keep her mind off worrying about Clint, Natasha, and their friends she now had an emotional attachment to.

"I wish Thor had stuck around," Cooper was saying as they played with their action figures while Laura fixed lunch. "I wanted to see him summon lightning with his hammer." He imitated a loud crashing noise as he had one action figure slam down an imaginary Mjolnir.

"I like Captain America," Lila said, having a GI Joe talk to the doll that represented Natasha. "He's nice and called me 'Miss Barton'. And he ripped that log in half with his hands."

"You just like him best 'cause he's Aunt Nat's favorite," Cooper snorted. "Or at least he was. I think she likes Hulk best now."

Laura tried to hide her amusement that even Cooper had caught what Clint had been oblivious to.

Lila was frowning, though, toying with the doll's hair. "I don't know. I think I heard them fighting while they were here."

Laura's ears pricked up, moving quieter so she could listen in.

"When? They were all happy at dinner."

"When they first got here I had to go to the bathroom and they were all full, so I went to Auntie Nat's room to see if I could use hers and they were talking really seriously. I don't know what they were talking about, but it sounded like they were mad or sad or something."

"You spied on them?" Cooper asked, a mix of shock and impressed excitement in his voice.

"No! I didn't mean to hear anything and I didn't try to listen when I realized it was grownup stuff."

"Huh." Cooper shrugged, his interest fading when he realized there wasn't much new to learn. "Well, maybe Cap is still her favorite then."

Lila shrugged, still looking at the doll as Cooper had the GI Joe fight with the robot representing Iron Man. "Mommy?" she called. "What does 'sterilize' mean?"

Laura was still lost in thought, trying to think what Natasha and Banner might have been arguing about and the emotional state Natasha had been in to begin with. "Uh, it means when you clean something so well you get all the germs off it. Why?"

"Oh. Just 'cause when they were fighting, Auntie Nat said her trainers sterilized her."

Laura dropped the plate in her hand, which crashed against the floor.

The kids jumped.

"Mommy?"

"Are you okay? Is the baby coming?"

"I'm okay," Laura called back, putting on a fake smile. "Just slipped."

They took her at her word, going back to talking.

"I remember seeing that word when I read her files," Cooper said, puzzling through the question. "Why would the Hulk be mad about that? It means she's not sick or anything, right?"

"That word has a different meaning for grownups," Laura said a bit numbly, putting the plate back on the counter. "And it's a sensitive topic, so I wouldn't ask her about it when she comes back, okay? And I mean that, Cooper. No research either. Respect Aunt Nat's privacy on this one."

The kids nodded, confused, but went back to what they were doing. "I thought Iron Man would be your favorite now," Lila said. "You talked to him for a long time."

"He's okay. His suit is pretty cool. I bet I could make something like it…"

Since the children seemed suitably distracted again, Laura took a moment to slip down the hallway and into her bedroom.

As soon as she closed the door, she leaned back against it, one hand coming up to cover her mouth.

Natasha was sterile. Not just sterile, but sterilized. Forcibly. Laura knew she had been subjected to all kinds of horrible things during her training, but somehow that particular option had never crossed her mind.

Oh god. Dozens of conversations over the years flashed back through her mind. How many times had she said something and gotten that odd, awkward look in return, that pause before figuring out what to say? And now Laura's own pregnancy! The way Natasha watched her, her discomfort when Laura had prodded her to get more involved, god, she had asked her about if she was thinking about trying it herself! She had been pouring salt in a wound she hadn't realized existed for months!

A new horror swept through her as she wrapped her arm around her belly. If that was what was on Natasha's mind, part of the trauma that had been reopened by this mission… And Laura had had to tell her the baby wasn't going to be named Natasha after all. The child that was meant to be her namesake, possibly her only chance at having a legacy like that, and Laura had had to rip away that little hope away from her too, on a day when she was already suffering.

A few tears and choked back sobs of regret escaped her and she let the hormones play out, took the moment to kick herself for any pain she had caused, even if it was through ignorance. Then she drew a steadying breath and pulled herself together. She couldn't change the past or fix anything right now. All she could do was try to do better in the future, to be more sensitive about what she said, to see if she could make it up to Natasha.

But for now, the kids needed lunch, the baby needed her to feed herself, and she had to trust that Clint and Natasha were taking care of themselves out there and there would be time later to deal with everything. For now, she dried her eyes, pulled back on the aura that nothing was wrong, headed back out to the kitchen and returned to being a mom.

OOO

In the end, Clint returned home just as unannounced but welcome as he had days before. At first, Laura thought she was dreaming to see him safe and whole in the entrance to the kitchen, but when she ran to him and he wrapped her in his arms, he was solid and warm and so real she almost melted in relief.

But she felt the trembling of his muscles and the desperation in how he held her and she knew things had not gone well. And there was a reason he had come home completely alone.

"Nat?" she whispered, dreading his answer.

But he shook his head against her shoulder. "She's okay. It was bad, but…she's okay."

She took that as a blessing, but still he didn't let go. And she knew that since he was finally alone with her, he was letting himself break down and cope with whatever horrors they had experienced this time around.

So without a word, she gently led him upstairs to their room and closed out the rest of the world. Then she helped him strip off the layers of Hawkeye until he could just be Clint Barton, husband and father and, right now, a very tired and emotionally drained man. She wasn't sure what he needed most right then, but quietly, so carefully, he drew her onto the bed with him and he reassured himself that she was safe and there and that their baby was still untouched by the dangers of the world outside these four walls.

They took their time reconnecting with each other, reaffirming themselves that at least here and now, everything was as it was meant to be. He was home, she was safe, their children were well, and they could have happiness together and block out the bad times for a little while longer.

The moon was high in the sky by the time they curled peacefully around each other in the light it cast across their bed, and Clint finally felt recovered enough to tell her about the mission. About flying robots and how Natasha had been torn away from his jet while he was helpless to stop it, and how he had desperately scanned the airwaves for any sign she was still alive. About witnessing the birth of a new form of life and accepting that the punk kids who had hurt his team before were just as betrayed and messed up as his own friends. About going into a battle beyond what he should have been equipped to face, knowing he had to put the world before his own family. About cities ripped from the earth and scared twins choosing to be heroes as their home crumbled and a boy who sacrificed his life so Clint could go home to his children.

Laura had no words to comfort him. She sent a prayer of gratitude and protection for the young man who had given her back her husband and hated a life that demanded only one of the two could be allowed a happy ending. And for the young woman who was suddenly more alone in the world than she had ever been.

And her mind was drawn back to another traumatized, lost young woman Clint had taken in so long ago, and she felt a pang of worry that Natasha wasn't nestled safely in her own room down the hall.

As Clint's hand rubbed idly across her stomach, where Nathaniel was thankfully sleeping for once, Laura decided to address the subject that had been eating at her mind.

"Clint, how much do you know about Natasha's…medical history? What the Red Room did to her?"

He frowned, looking up in wary confusion. "A fair amount. I was given her whole file when we teamed up and was there for most of her original interrogations. Why?"

Laura swallowed, debating if she really wanted to have this conversation, but she needed to talk to someone about it and she was almost certain she wasn't revealing a secret he didn't already know. "Lila said she heard Nat and Dr. Banner arguing and apparently Nat mentioned she had been sterilized."

Clint sat up, eyes serious and dark. "She told him about that? Wait, they were fighting? Was he being a jerk about it or—"

"I don't know," Laura said, putting a hand on his chest before his protective anger got too far. "Lila didn't hear much detail."

Clint sank back down slightly, but his muscles were still tense under her hand. "Right. So…what did Lila say about it?"

"Not much. She didn't know what it meant. I just told her it's a grownup thing and not to ask Nat about it."

"Good. I can't believe she told Banner. The only reason I knew was because of our partnership." He glanced at Laura's expression. "You didn't know?"

"No! I don't prod into her past unless she chooses to tell me something."

"Yeah." Clint shook his head, scrubbing his eyes with his hand. "She must have really been shaken up to be venting to him."

"You said the girl, Wanda, gave everyone nightmare visions. I figured Nat's were about the Red Room from how she reacted."

"Me too. She wouldn't tell me exactly what she saw, but there's no shortage of nastiness in her past." He grimaced. "As many times as her brain's been 'adjusted' anyway, hard to know exactly what this did to her."

Laura tried not to add that bit of worry to the mess already in her mind. "So she's back at the Tower now?"

"Or one of her safehouses. I'm not sure. She wanted some time alone."

Laura hoped that didn't mean Natasha was shutting them out again. "She's not with Banner then?"

Clint snorted. "No, Banner disappeared. Bailed after the battle. She really didn't want to talk about that."

Laura frowned. "He left? So are he and Nat—?"

"I don't know!" Clint snapped. He flopped back on the bed and draped an arm across his eyes. "I don't know what the hell's going on there. Everyone keeps talking about it and I don't see it, but Nat has been acting different for a while now but I thought she was just figuring out how to interact with the team. And now I find out she's telling him all kinds of personal stuff out of the blue…"

A memory flickered through Laura's mind of her conversation with Natasha months ago about taking advantage of the quieter times. "Well, if she is thinking about starting a relationship, that would probably be something they'd have to discuss. Besides, it kind of makes sense her…condition would be on her mind lately."

"Why would that part of what they did to her be on her mind?"

Laura cleared her throat pointedly, gesturing dramatically at the mound of baby in her lap.

Clint lifted his arm to look and she saw the familiar horror of comprehension fill his eyes. He dropped his arm back on his face. "I'm an idiot."

"You? I'm the one who's been rubbing it in her face for months! I even asked if she was thinking about having her own!" Clearly she was, but not with the same perspective Laura had been imagining.

"That's not your fault," Clint protested, lowering his arm to hold her hand. "You didn't know. I have no excuse. It's just…not something she ever seemed to be worried about before. We had the job and she loved you guys and everything made sense. And now…" He frowned at the ceiling. "I feel like I barely recognize her sometimes."

Laura threaded her fingers through his, tracing the fresh bruises and scabs. "A lot's changed in the last few years."

"Ever since this Avengers business started. Part of that's on me; I left and I don't regret that choice. I'm glad she and Rogers are close and have in-jokes and stuff, but now if I missed that she was starting something with Banner…" He sighed. "I used to know her better than anyone else did. Now…"

"We're not her only family anymore," Laura finished, realizing it as she said it. "And that's not a bad thing."

Clint grunted noncommittally. "Maybe. I wanna be greedy, though."

Laura smiled, pulling him closer against her side. "I know."

Clint put his hand on her stomach, splaying his fingers across the curve of their child. Laura rested hers over his.

"What are we going to do from here?"

For once, Clint didn't make a joke like 'well, birth is a popular choice at some point'. He just stroked her skin thoughtfully. "I don't know. I guess I'll see how Nat's doing when she's up to talking again."

Regret flashed through Laura again. "I even told her that day about how he's not going to have her name after all."

"Shhh." Clint gently drew her head down onto his shoulder, resting his on top of hers. "He's still honoring her and he's going to love her just like the others do."

"Is it going to be weird when we have her over? I feel terrible asking her to babysit now or—"

"Laura. Can't think anymore. Can we just sleep now and worry more tomorrow?"

She snuggled deeper into his arms, allowing herself to embrace the security of his presence and their joined hands cradling their son. She tried not to think about falling cities or mind-manipulation or cold, lonely apartments in New York.

For a few hours, she wanted to be greedy too.

OOO

They hadn't planned to make Natasha come out for the birth. After everything that just seemed too much to ask, family or not. Besides, she was heavily involved in getting the new Avengers facility up and running out of one of Stark's previous properties. Work did her good and they hated to interrupt that.

But Nathaniel turned out to have his father's sense of timing. Laura went into labor two weeks early, while Clint was gone for one day to help consult on part of the base construction. When he arrived home, Natasha was right behind him, prepared to stay with Cooper and Lila. She refused to take no for an answer and shooed the impending parents off with instructions not to worry about anything but the birth.

Despite being early, the delivery went smoothly and Nathaniel was born healthy, if a bit under the preferred weight. He was strong, though, and already showing signs of being as stubborn as his parents and intended namesake.

They kept Laura and Nathaniel at the hospital an extra few days to make sure his lungs were strong enough before discharging them. Clint ran back to the house to check on the kids and give them the good news in person. Natasha sent back her best wishes and a beaded plastic bracelet Lila had helped her make with 'Nathaniel' spelled out beside a bead with a red hourglass on it.

When Laura did get to come home, the kids swarmed eagerly to see their new brother. Clint did a good job wrangling the flurry of excitement so that Laura could sit down and rest on the couch. Once the kids were assured their mom was fine and Clint insisted that Nathaniel needed rest too, he enlisted Lila and Cooper to help him unpack and set up everything in the nursery.

Laura leaned back on the couch, letting Nathaniel settle against her chest. The cushions felt extra soft on her still-aching body and she was peaceful enough that it made her jump slightly when a mug of tea was set on the table beside her.

"Sorry," Natasha said softly. "Is it okay for you to drink that?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah, thank you." Laura pulled herself back to wakefulness as she watched Natasha settle into a chair nearby. Randomly, she remembered that it was the same chair Natasha had sat in years before when Clint had first brought her home. The bloodstain on the back was long gone, but Laura could still picture it. How times changed.

"Nat?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for watching the kids. You really didn't have to drop everything and come."

Natasha frowned. "Of course I came! Whatever you two and the kids need, you know I'm here for you."

"I know. You've just had such a rough time of it lately. All of you," she added quickly before Natasha could bristle at being shown individual pity.

"All the more reason to want time with people I care about," Natasha replied lightly, sipping her own tea.

Laura considered her for a moment. It was the first time they had really gotten to sit down together since Natasha had left with the Avengers weeks before. At the surface, she seemed the same as she had for years: smiling, warm, great with the kids, the light air of teasing ever in her voice. But Laura could feel the tinge of sadness that added extra weight to her words, keeping her tone from quite ringing true. She was good, a spy's skillful façade in play, but her mask wasn't as perfect a fit as it used to be. That or Laura had just gotten better at spotting its edges.

But whatever hurt she was dealing with, Natasha wasn't letting it affect the day or show through for the kids. She was putting it away and being in the current moment and being whatever the family needed her to be right then. Like a…well, like a mom.

"Well, you know I'm always glad to have you home for however long you can spare. Not sure how much company Clint and I will be while we're taking care of Nate here, but…"

"We're calling him Nate, huh?" she asked, her mouth quirking in a slight smile.

"That's kind of become our go-to, yeah. It works for now." Laura looked up, honest regret in her eyes. "I'm sorry he's not a Natasha for you."

Natasha waved her off, shaking her head. "Don't be. It's good he gets to have his own name. No need to give a kid any extra baggage, especially the way things are going these days."

Laura knew the discussion over the cost of the Avengers' actions was still very much a subject for debate on the news and she wondered how much that was weighing on Natasha's mind too. But that wasn't a topic for a time of celebration.

"Well, either way, he's still going to know he was named for heroes."

"Nathaniel Pietro Barton," Natasha recited, leaning over to look at the sleeping baby. "I think that's going to mean a lot to Wanda."

"You okay with being on a team with her after everything that happened?" Laura asked.

"She proved herself. Besides, it's hard for me to hold too much of a grudge against a girl who was tricked and manipulated by a bad guy, but chose to do good instead. Especially since Clint's all but adopted her."

Laura shook her head, sighing. "It's a good thing he knows how to work on houses because at this rate we're going to need a lot more rooms."

She shifted Nathaniel to free up an arm to reach for her tea, wincing as something stretched when she extended her arm.

"I can take him for a minute so you can relax," Natasha offered.

Laura arched an eyebrow, hesitant. "You sure you're okay with that?"

Natasha gave her an puzzled look. "I know it's been years since Lila was this young, but I haven't forgotten how to hold a baby."

She didn't know. Clint hadn't told her Laura knew about her sterility and that it had been on her mind. And Laura realized then that she had been over-worrying about the situation and didn't have to walk on eggshells about the baby with Natasha. Natasha was handling her past and her lingering emotions and she was willingly choosing to be part of Nathaniel's life. She had before Ultron and that decision hadn't changed. Laura would still keep an eye out for anything that seemed to make her uncomfortable, but for now she would accept how much Natasha wanted to be part of the family and stop trying to decide for her what she could and couldn't handle.

"All right. Thanks. Hey, little man," Laura cooed to Nathaniel, who fussed as she woke him up. "It's okay. You're going to meet your Auntie Nat."

Laura carefully shifted him into Natasha's arms, checking to make sure his head was supported and his arms and legs weren't caught or tangled. Despite the ages since she had last held a baby, it seemed to come back to Natasha quickly and she hushed him gently as she settled back into the chair.

"Hey… There you are. Aren't you handsome?" she said in full Auntie Nat voice. She looked up. "He's amazing, Laura."

"He's one of my finer works, I think," Laura agreed, picking up her mug. "Clint helped, you know."

"Oh, I'm sure. I forgot how tiny kids are when they're this…new."

"He didn't feel tiny a few days ago, but yeah. He's a bit early so he's a little on the small side, but he'll catch up fast now. Mark my words, in a few weeks he'll be fat and happy."

"I believe it. I put on five pounds every time I visit. You're lucky you got a mom who's a good cook, kid." She smirked when he crinkled his face up grumpily. "Okay, now he looks like Clint."

"He does, bless his heart," Laura laughed. "Good thing he smiles a lot."

"Yeah? Can I see that smile?" Natasha asked, tickling Nathaniel's stomach. His leg kicked out, coming up to meet her hand and Natasha inhaled sharply.

At first Laura thought something was wrong, that he had triggered another flashback somehow, but she realized that despite the slight sheen of tears that was forming in her eyes, Natasha was smiling in awe.

"You do remember me, don't you, malen'kiy pauk?" she breathed, putting her fingers against the sole of his foot as he kicked again.

And Laura suddenly remembered Natasha playing with the baby before he was born, feeling him kick while in the womb, and she felt moved tears well in her own eyes. For all the horror life had dealt them lately, she was grateful it could also give them moments like this.

The combination of the emotion and her still-elevated hormones solidified something she had been considering since before the Ultron situation ever happened and she decided to just go for it.

"Nat, there's something I've been meaning to ask you."

Natasha tore her gaze away from Nathaniel, curious. "Yes?"

"I've been thinking about something for a while now, but I wasn't sure when was the right time to bring it up. Then with everything that's happened and what you were going through last time you were here and for all I know this will just make things worse…"

Natasha had tensed a bit, eyes flat and wary. "What is it?"

Laura just took a breath and blurted it out. "Do they have godparents in Russia?"

That clearly wasn't what Natasha had expected. "Yes…" she answered slowly.

"Well, I haven't discussed this with Clint but I know he'd be onboard. With Nathaniel being born and everything, I wanted to ask if you'd be willing to be the kids' godmother. All of them."

Natasha blinked, taken aback. "Laura, that's an incredible honor," she managed.

"Well, I can't legally make you their aunt, but this would at least confirm your role in their lives. You know the legal aspect of being a godparent too, right?"

Natasha rubbed her forehead, still thrown. "The part about becoming legal guardian if anything happened to you two?"

"How would you feel about that? I mean, I know it's a huge ask, but it hopefully would never come up and it's just a matter of peace of mind."

Natasha gave a bitter half-laugh. "I think you'd do better to pick someone in a job with a longer life expectancy."

Laura tried to ignore how much that reality jabbed her heart. "Like I said, it hopefully will never go that far, but if the worst happened, I could rest easier knowing the kids were with someone they adored instead of in foster care or, god forbid, with my extended family."

"Let 'em try to take these kids away from me," Natasha growled so automatically that Laura knew she had made the right choice.

"Well, this way there wouldn't be a legal fight over it. You're already family; this just puts it on paper."

Natasha huffed a laugh. "Well, I'd be honored, seriously. You think a lawyer will approve Natasha Romanoff as a godparent, though?"

Laura frowned. "You think things are that bad?"

"I think my name's been a little too prominent since the S.H.I.E.L.D. leak."

"Well, we won't know unless we try. Plus, you've still got Stark's legal team on your side. Bet they'd love an easier case like this."

"It would be a refreshing change, I'm sure. Of course, he might ask to be godfather."

"Not happening."

Natasha chuckled and Laura relished seeing untainted amusement on her face. "Well, if that's what you want, I'll do my best," she said, looking down at Nathaniel, who had fallen back asleep in her arms.

"Can't imagine anyone better. And now you have extra motivation to make sure both you and Clint come home safe from missions."

Natasha made a noncommittal sound, but still looked satisfied despite herself.

"Speaking of, how long do you think you'll be able to stay before you have to rush back?"

"I can help out for a while if you want, though I'm sure you and Clint will want some time together for yourselves soon. The facility in New York is almost done, but it will still be a few weeks before the new team moves in."

"So everyone's really splitting up?" Clint had mentioned most of them considered the official mission complete with the retrieval of Loki's staff and S.H.I.E.L.D. being mostly kaput.

"Well, this last mission wasn't exactly a resounding success. Besides, Thor needs to go back home. Stark's got a lot on his mind and needs to sort things out. Banner's…"

She trailed off, jaw going tense. Laura didn't prod, sipping her tea casually to try to imply she wasn't pressing, but the unspoken questions hung in the air regardless. They were too close for this to go unaddressed.

Natasha drew a deep breath, looking at Nathaniel to avoid Laura's eyes. "I decided to try something. It didn't work out. For…a lot of reasons. And it ended badly."

"I'm sorry," Laura said softly.

Natasha shook her head. "It wouldn't have worked, not the way we were trying. This life," Natasha nodded around them, "it's perfect for you and Clint. And it's beautiful and wonderful, but…I can't do what you do. I need the work. I thought I could leave it behind, but I'm not myself unless I'm in the fight. Still got a lot on my ledger. If, one day, I figure out a way to have both, maybe it could work. But for now, getting to come here, be part of this family, part of their lives…" she said, gesturing to Nathaniel. She gave Laura a smile, with more contentment than regret. "It's enough."

Laura reached over, catching her hand and squeezing gently. "Well, we absolutely love having you here. You know you're welcome here any time you want a break from running with the heroes to hang out with the common people."

Natasha's eyes locked on hers, her face going serious and almost angry. "Laura, despite a very difficult situation, you've created a safe, comfortable home where everyone who enters it feels welcomed as part of the family. You do that while supporting your husband and a friend who have incredibly dangerous and time-consuming jobs, leaving you to handle this alone most of the time. And you're raising wonderful kids who are fed and educated and have never had to doubt in their lives that they are loved and valued. Don't you ever believe you're not a hero."

Laura couldn't have been more blindsided. The tears flowed freely now, and she was sure she wouldn't have been able to control them even without her hormones running high. It wasn't that Clint or the kids had ever made her feel unappreciated, but god, she hadn't known how much she needed to hear something like that now and then.

"Nat…" She pushed herself up, ignoring the soreness, and bent to hug the woman she loved as dearly as any blood sister. "Thank you."

Natasha held her back, carefully balancing Nathaniel just out of the way. "Thank you," she answered, her own voice catching slightly.

Laura finally straightened up, wiping the tears out of her eyes. "Okay, that's about as much seriousness as I can handle right now or I'm just going to be a mess." She sat back on the couch, picking up her tea again. "So, I want to hear how things are going with the new kids."

"Ah, the next generation," Natasha nodded, her dry humor returning. "They're not bad, but they haven't really worked together before. Some are military, some completely untrained. Steve asked if I would help him whip them into shape once the new headquarters is set up."

"Uh-oh. Has he seen you train recruits before?"

"Enough to know I have a very effective make-or-break technique," she grinned, a bit of the Widow's predatory mischief showing through. "Since S.H.I.E.L.D. fell, I've got a reputation to rebuild again. May have to get Clint to start rumors around the base about how scary I am."

Laura shook her head, thinking about the woman who patiently guided Lila through ballet moves or explained computer code languages to Cooper. "Well, I hope they know how lucky they are to have you. And once that little guy's older, I'll have to see if you can teach him too," she said, looking at Nathaniel. "Because if I leave it solely to Clint, I'm going to run out of bandages in this house."

Natasha laughed. "I don't know, maybe we should be happy he turned out to be a boy. I saw the effects of Lila's indoor archery range idea."

"Yeah, Clint's supposed to patch that," Laura sighed, rubbing her forehead. "Of course, last month Cooper hacked into Stark Industries central mainframe."

Natasha looked up, eyes sharpening. "He hacked all the way in? Without getting caught?"

"Only by me as far as I can tell. You want to have a word with him?"

"I want to give him ideas so Stark can't trace them back to me," she said, her eyes gleaming at the possibilities.

Laura winced. "Please don't get my son arrested."

"Arrested? I'm more worried Stark'll try to hire him. You think Clint'd be a dangerous teacher…"

For the first time in too many months, the sound of laughter and happy conversation filled the house once more, until Nathaniel woke up needing a feeding and Lila and Cooper came bounding back downstairs eager to help or play with their new brother and wanting to hear Auntie Nat's latest stories and Clint tried to be in charge and round everybody up for lunch. And in the middle of all the chaos, Laura couldn't be happier.

When I started this fic after watching Age of Ultron a year ago (!), this is as far as I had planned out. I knew I wanted to get to these scenes and although the story built hugely beyond anything I expected, I think I hit all the notes I wanted to and more. And now we head into uncharted waters as we see what Civil War will bring. (Got my tickets for opening night! Yay!) I definitely plan to write further chapters following the rest of the story we learn of Clint and Natasha, but I have no idea yet what those will be. (Up until now, I had an arc I could plan around.)

I realized I did give myself a problem with this because now if they do have anything happen to Laura in the movies I'm going to be absolutely devastated instead of merely pissed if they fridge her. I really don't want to write a chapter like that, so I hope this family gets to continue with a happy life.

In addition to a post-Civil War chapter, I have a plan to write a fic from Natasha's POV during her capture by Ultron that, while working as a standalone, fits into this chapter's timeline. I also have some ideas for a little chapter/interlude I may write if CW doesn't rule it out. But for now, I'm happy to have been able to tell the story I had planned to and in a way I hope made people happy. :) Thank you all so much for reading and leaving such wonderful comments! It's meant a lot to me and I've loved talking to you all along the way!