A/N: So...don't ask me why I wrote this. I don't know. It's for a friend, though. She had the idea of gay couples competition. Shame on her if you hated this. Enjoy this craziness! And don't yell at me too much (or too loud...I'm trying to sleep).

The gayer the better

So, yeah, Ryan is totally stuck in this place full of crazy people. There are cosplays everywhere and he should decide which one is the cutest... Oh gosh, how has he ended up here again? Oh yes, his boss hates him.

But the worst part of all it's probably Arianne, his best friend who volunteered to keep him company, or more likely to exploit him to get free access to any cosplay. She's literally jumping next to him, she won't stop pointing at cosplays and throwing herself into a long unwanted explanation.

She's currently saying something about Doctor Who, but Ryan can't be so sure, it's hard to follow her in her rambling about tv shows. Don't get me wrong, he totally loves her, but seriously, who could manage to know everything about any tv show? Well, his best nerd friend apparently.

"Oh my god, look!" she tugs at his arm and he rolls his eyes before turning to where she's pointing.

There's a girl standing on a table, her hands around her mouth as a microphone and she's yelling. She's shouting "You're a wanker, number nine!" No wait, what? Why the hell is she...

"You saw the movie! Ryan, why do you look confused, you saw the movie!"

"What the f..."

"Imagine me and you!" Arianne punches him lightly on the arm, not for the first time that day.

"Okay, would you stop hitting me? Yeah, I remember the movie, I didn't remember that sentence though."

"It's when they are..."

"I do remember now. Slow down, you should really remind yourself to breath even if you're talking about some 'awesome show', as you say."

She sticks her tongue out at him and he shakes his head with a little smile. They go on walking around and see amazing cosplays of 'Orphan Black' – yes, those he recognises, he's not completely oblivious to tv show, specially great ones – and some of Lost Girl and he can't help but smile when Arianne wouldn't stop freaking out about how good Kenzi's cosplay is and how much she loves the character. He does love Kenzi too, so he can agree with her on that.

Then they pass two girls dressed as Alex Vause and Piper Chapman, one of them is kinda trying to sell some fruit to the other and he starts to laugh so badly it hurts. He doesn't remember the scene from the show, but it's just so funny to see the two girls practically yelling at each other over some food matter. So when he sees Arianne's face smiling adoringly and her eyes shining he's more than confused. And that's when the girl who plays Piper stops talking about food, well almost stops, and tells the other how she feels. Oh, right, Arianne told him about that scene, he's never going to hear the end of it from his best friend now.

"That was like my favourite scene of season 3! No, I mean, my favourite along with the one of 'Trust no bitches' with badass Piper. Okay maybe also along with the one..." Yep, he's never going to hear the end of it.

"Ah! Oh. My. God. Look at that!" Oh. What could have Arianne stop talking about one of her favourite couples?

Looks like a raccoon has Arianne stop talking about... No, a raccoon chased by a girl.

"Lexa! You can't leave me like this again! Lexa, don't run away again!" and the girl is yelling. At the raccoon.

Oh Jesus, where has he ended up? This is madness. And of course Arianne is giggling and smiling so widely it must be almost painful.

"I bet you can tell me why a girl is running after a poor raccoon." he sighs.

"Oh yours is a safe bet. So, that's totally about The 100, you saw it, didn't you? And the blonde should be Clarke and the raccoon is Commander Lexa..."

"I regret asking" but there is no way Arianne has even heard him as she keeps talking, explaining the couple's story from their first meeting. Poor raccoon, he thinks before resuming walking.

...

"Hey, Arianne, why don't we take a break? All of this may excite you incredibly, but I'm kind of tired."

"Fine, beefcake. We can stop here and you can buy me an ice cream."

"Beefcake? And why should I buy you an ice cream?"

"Ugh. You really need to re-watch Carmilla." Right, it probably is one of the many nicknames.

"And you're buying me ice cream because I came here with you so that you wouldn't feel lonely and you couldn't get bored."

Of course. That's why he loves her, right? Best friends for life...more like for ice cream.

...

"I killed Jennifer Schecter!"

"No! I committed suicide because it was the last thing I could do to ruin your life!"

"Trust me girls, I killed her."

Ryan turns to see a group of people dressed pretty normal. But the name they called is enough for him to understand immediately those girls are 'The L Word' cosplayers. Arianne has once screamed for a week that she killed Jennifer Schecter, it was years ago, but how could he forget his best friend jumping around her flat dancing and singing "I killed Jennifer Schecter" as if she were Bellatrix singing "I killed Sirius Black"? He couldn't. It was too much of an amazing memory, they watched the show together and in the end she was smiling like an idiot while cursing the dead character for messing with the others' life one last time. It was hilarious.

"Who cares! Maybe she killed herself, but it doesn't matter 'cause she would have died that night anyway. I mean...we were all there to kill her, right? Wasn't that what we all wanted?" the voice is higher pitched and Ryan chuckles along with Arianne as they listen to the girl playing Alice.

"You know what? She could even be right, maybe they all killed Jenny somehow, or would have killed her." Arianne says as she lazily finishes her ice cream.

"I guess I would have helped."

...

"So what is that you have to do, again?"

"I should find which couple is the cutest among these cosplays." Ryan huffs as he keeps his eyes on the cosplays they pass by.

"Well, lucky you, you have me! It will of course be a lesbian couple. But who are we kidding, I've been dragging you toward lesbian couples all day. So yeah, let's find the cutest and gayest couple we've got here!" Arianne claps her hands excited.

Ryan is in for a long afternoon. "Smooth sundance, smooth."

"Oh shit! Did you just quote Carmilla? Did you just quote my favourite show?!"

Ryan shrugs, amused with his best friend's dorkiness. She suddenly envelopes him in a hug. "You are. The best. Friend. Ever."

He laughs loudly "Yeah, I've been told."

"Shush. I love you. I would totally have a crush on you if I were straight."

"Lucky me, you're gay." his jokes earns him another punch. Back again with the hitting.

"Rude."

...

And there they are, Willow and Tara's cosplays, dancing and singing 'Under your spell' and he has to admit he did like the couple back to when he watched 'Buffy'.

Yeah, he had a childhood too and Buffy was Buffy. Plus there is no way he could be Arianne's friend if he hadn't seen 'Buffy' and 'Xena'. But he is out of troubles about that, he loved Xena as a child. Though when Arianne pointed it out to him that Xena and Gabrielle were most likely a couple he was so shocked and sad, he really believed in the 'best friend for life' thing, it was nice.

And not far from the couple from 'Buffy', he spots Xena and Gabrielle, well talking about the devil... As soon as Arianne sees them too she pulls him that way.

...

They've seen Hermione and Luna's cosplays and Arianne has told him how much she likes them together, but how she loves Hermione and Ron too, so she's really torn. He told her he bets it's really hard to sleep at night when you can't figure out which couple you ship the most. Of course, she hit him.

They've seen two guys playing a lot of characters from the 'Hunger Games', but Arianne doesn't like the movies so much, so she spared Ryan the big talk. He wasn't that lucky when they met a lot of cosplays from 'Once upon a time'.

Now Arianne is talking with the girl dressed as Clarke from 'The 100' and the girl is saying she's with a friend who's playing Lexa, but she doesn't know when the other girl is. Ryan is a bit startled when the blonde uses her hands as a microphone and yells at the crowd.

"Commander Lexa let everyone burn in Ton DC!"

What is it with people yelling random things today?

Then a girl suddenly jumps on a table not far from them. "Not everyone, Clarke! Not you!"

Arianne is laughing hard and beaming at his side and Ryan finally understands that the girls had it planned, though he still doesn't know what the hell it was about.

"There she is." the blonde cosplayer smirks and winks at Arianne.

...

"Stop. Stop! We're going that way."

"What...why are we..." Ryan tries to complain, but he knows it's useless.

"I love this place! I love all of them! And look at them!" Arianne points at four cosplayers ahead of them.

A girl with red hair is throwing water at a brunette, who's screaming and threatening to kill her. Meanwhile other two redheads are talking at a table, unaffected by their friends' bickering.

"Tell me, who do you think they are?" Arianne asks him, not able to stop smiling.

"I'd say the tall one at the table is Danny, the crazy one throwing water is Perry and the brunette is Mattie. This leaves the last redhead who should be..."

"LaFontaine! Yes! You pass the test, good boy. I love them, girl the hell up!"

He can only follow, intrigued by the cosplays.

"Should we stop Perry before Mattie kills her?" cosplay-Danny asks.

"Nah. They're always like that. You know, Laura and Carmilla annoy each other when they're not together, Mattie and Perry try to kill each other when... well, always." the redhead looks over her shoulders and shrugs.

"LaFontaine, sweetheart, we don't always fight. But Mattie keeps killing people and dropping the blood on the carpet!"

"Oh gods, I didn't kill them!"

Arianne is laughing so hard she has tears in her eyes.

"You're a murderer, you've always been!"

"It didn't bother you too much last night, though." cosplay-Mattie smirks and the girl who plays Perry shoves her some other 'holy' water, making her crying out.

"Yeah, I think that was pretty much similar to last night's sounds." cosplay-LaF comments and laughs as the one who's playing the vampire growls.

"I can see now who Elvira has taken her snarky humour from."

"Okay, they are the absolute bests." but Arianne is talking too soon.

Ryan sees them before his friend and he turns her around, ignoring her protests. She gapes when she sees what he's trying to show her.

"Holy shit. There is no way in hell or Hogwarts they actually are..."

"Carm, come on, we can't go back now. You promised you would..."

"No one talked about having Xena around, cupcake."

"Come on, it'll be fun."

A little Laura was dragging a now grumpy Carmilla toward them.

"I was having fun today in bed." she answers smugly.

The smaller girl hits her on the arm and laughs as she kisses Carmilla's cheek.

"Fine, you know I can't say no to you, cutie." the brunette cracks a smile at her and the other girl beams.

"You're gonna like this. It's gonna be amazing."

"Well, aren't we in your own Hollis version of Disneyland?" Carmilla comments as they approach the cosplayers.

And that's when Laura pulls her slightly back and kisses her.

"Oh shit. Shit shit shit. They're kissing. They. Are. Kissing. Ryan. They are kissing!"

"Arianne, I am right here, I can see that they're kissing." he answers amused, though he's actually staring at the couple as well as his friend is. They can't be... it's not possible.

"You're killing me, Hollis." the brunette says while her eyes are still closed from the kiss.

"Yeah, but you're already dead, Carm." Laura sprints toward the cosplayers without waiting, and Carmilla is fast at her heels.

...

"They were...They...Ryan. You saw them too. They were Elise and Nat! Please tell me I didn't imagine it."

"You didn't imagine it, cupcake." he chuckles but reassures his friend.

"You can't! I'm already freaking out enough."

"Yeah, I guess you are."

"Okay, you have your answer. They are the best couple. There is no doubt whatsoever."

He thinks about it for a moment. Of course they were the best cosplays and the best couple, but... "Does it count though? I mean, is it a cosplay if you play a character you play for real in the tv show?" that came out sounding messier than it was necessary.

"I don't care! They are the best couple. And it will count. They always count, no matter what."

"Well, I guess they win then. They surely were the cutest." he thinks back at that day and recalls the two girls being all couple-y and super cute.

At some point Laura-Elise went to buy a couple of ice-creams and when she came back to the other girl, Carmilla-Nat tugged her down on the bench asking "Did you miss me?"

"Like someone stole my ice-cream."

Ryan didn't know who, between Arianne and him, was laughing harder.

Yep. They win.