AN: So here we are, at the last chapter. Do you remember that I said this was a little cracky? Well, I did warn you.

That said, JKR owns everything related to Harry Potter. And as for the Greek Gods…I'm not going to argue with Aphrodite about merchandizing rights. That Goddess is scary.

When Severus arrived at the wedding, things were going very badly indeed.

The entire area set aside for the ceremony was a disaster, and curses were flying so fast it was hard to identify them. He heard a familiar voice as he appeared. "Severus…I mean Septimus…"

He pulled Hermione close and cast a strong shield around them. It was a necessary step because Ginny Weasley looked like a red eyed, deranged harpy.

"I don't know what got in to Ginny! One minute she was walking down the aisle, and the next she was shooting curses at me!"

"That's not Ginny Weasley."

The figure tossed back her head and laughed. The red hair was replaced with braided black locks of varying lengths in a distinctly punk style.

Severus growled. "Eris."

The room was suddenly very still.

She gave him a mocking bow.

"What are you doing?"

"You spoiled my fun Severus Snape. I had a plan for Tom Riddle. I groomed him to be the perfect tool of discord. He was a masterpiece! And you these young fools caused his downfall." She changed shape and pouted in the form of Bella. The deranged goddess gave Hermione a saucy wink before returning to her original form.

"I did my part. So you were playing the part of Bellatrix. For how long?"

"Only during the final battle. Dear Tom needed very little goading, but I didn't want to miss the climax of everything I'd worked to achieve. Great Brittan would have fallen to utter chaos! I suppose I'll just have to take a more active role now and get rid of the things that annoy me.. Starting with removing all this love and harmony. They we'll see if little Harry Potter can be the next dark lord once his beloved Ginny is killed by his dearest friend and the man that he thought was a dead hero. Don't you think that would be delicious?"

Severus pulled Hermione behind him. "Where is Ginny Weasley?"

Eris grinned: her teeth were very sharp. "She's safe enough. Once I lead little Harry into destroying everything he loves, I'll bring her back so I can destroy him as well. Discord and suffering piled on discord and suffering!"

The room shook and the golden Goddess of Love appeared in a shower of rose petals and wrath. "You did not just interrupt a wedding…MY area of power with this nonsense?"

Discord turned to Aphrodite with a savage look on her face. "Stay out of it! It's none of your business."

"You started this at a wedding! That makes it my business. You are lucky Hera did decide to tag along. What are you doing here?"

Eris rolled her eyes. "I always show up to weddings. I do some of my best work at receptions. You know….bar fights, drunken uncles misbehaving…the occasional mass murder…"

"I'm warning you, stop this."

"Or what? You'll attack me with flying hears and a couple of doves? Please, this isn't Sailor Moon."

And suddenly there was no punk goddess of Discord in front of them. Just a very put-out pig with a big pink bow wrapped around her neck.

The pig squealed and started hopping from one foot to the other, squealing what were obviously obscenities at the golden-haired goddess of love.

The Goddess of love had a savage grin on her lovely lips. "Screw with me and I will take you out at the knees."

Severus bowed at the neck. "There is nothing more ruthless than love."

Aphrodite gave him a playful wink. "People always underestimate it. But what they don't understand is that true love is truly frightening."

She turned back to Eris, with nothing playful in her demeanor. "I have a message from Zeus. He ordered us not to interfere with the Voldemort situation. You disobeyed. He let me choose your punishment…if you're a good little Goddess, I might change you back to your true form in a few decades. But right now I'm more inclined to make bacon." The pig squealed and scampered out.

Severus frowned at her. "Frankly, I think bacon would have been the better option."

Aphrodite shrugged. "Eris has her place. When systems get too stable they tend to get stale and you need a little discord to keep from being stagnate as a society…but like anything else, she's dangerous when left unchecked. We have to rein her in at least once a century. Zeus decided it was my turn since she started all of this at a wedding. And because it was a wedding, even Hera backed up his decision."

The goddess of love smiled. "Now…let's get this show back on the road…"

SS

The day that Harry Potter married Ginny Weasley would go down in wizarding history. Everyone agreed that there had never been a more perfect wedding. In fact, when pressed, that was the only way most people could describe it.

No one noticed that Hermione Granger and her beau left the festivities early.

"Severus…"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for coming."

He laughed bitterly. "My presence precipitated a full on battle between the Goddess of Discord and the Goddess of Love and you thank me for attending?"

Her lips twitched. "Well, it wasn't boring."

"I suppose not." He sighed "I should probably move along. I haven't spent so much time on one place since my…conversion, and I'm afraid that a population boom will begin in the next nine months."

She sighed. "I wish you could stay."

He looked at her with his ebony eyes, leaving so many things unsaid. It would be cruel to tell her how he felt. He couldn't pursue her without bringing down calamity on them both.

He should let her go.

Aphrodite swirled in with an unwilling Athena at that moment.

The goddess of wisdom gave Severus an apologetic look. "Sorry to disturb you…"

Aphrodite interrupted. "I'm not! I just had the most fabulous idea, and Athena agrees with me 110%"

Athena muttered "There is no such thing as 110%" then she cleared her throat.

"We've been searching for a witch or wizard with the appropriate bloodline to take over Thoth's position as God of Libraries. It's been vacant since he and Helios retired to Bermuda."

Severus frowned. He supposed it wasn't a bad fit…but for some reason he was reluctant to give up his place. Did that brat, Cupid want his area of dominance back?

Athena continued "It's been difficult to find the proper bloodlines, because Thoth was adopted into the Greek pantheon from Egypt."

Aphrodite beamed and turned to Hermione, much to Severus' shock. "I didn't think much of it when Severus mentioned you were immune to his powers, but your family has traces of Hermes, Thoth, and Baalat. It's not recent of course, coming from a non-magical home, but the traces are there!"

Athena nodded. "Hermione is a family name, is it not?"

Hermione nodded. "Yes."

Athena smiled. "It's the feminine form of Hermes of course."

Severus interrupted. "You are not feeding her ambrosia to see if she'll burn to ash." The disgust in his voice was clear.

Athena nodded. "Actually, Hermes purloined a golden apple from Hera's tree. It would make Hermione a Goddess without the chance of incineration." She waved the fruit in the air like a prize…which wasn't far off because it was guarded by a dragon.

"Aren't those apples rather hard to get?"

"Hermes felt badly because Eris attacked you. He keeps an eye on his descendants. He's so fast it wasn't much work to get it, and Hera always turns a blind eye to his mischief."

"I think this is a horrible idea. Hermione should not be forced into this because there is some celestial vacancy."

Aphrodite rolled her eyes. "Don't be a dunderhead Severus Snape. I arranged all this because the only reason she'd be immune to your power is if you fancied her and she returned the favor. For a brilliant man who is also the God of Sex, you can be very slow about relationships."

Severus didn't deny fancying her. He just grumbled "God of Physical Congress."

The lovely golden goddess gave an indelicate snort. "Whatever."

Hermione was beaming. She snagged the apple without further ado, and took a large bite.

Severus watched in awe as every hair on her head, her eyes, her skin, filled with light as the apple changed what had been mortal into something that wasn't.

She licked the juice off her fingers and mischievously offered the apple to Severus. "Bite?"

He smirked. "Now you are deliberately mixing your mythologies."

"Perhaps, a bit. But it's also the best thing I've ever tasted."

Aphrodite gushed. "Wait until you try ambrosia. Finish the apple and we'll get you to the library of Alexandria."

"I thought it was destroyed." Hermione's eyes were wide and excited.

"Only the physical version. The other version resides in Olympus and it automatically makes copies of every book that has ever been written. And it hasn't had a librarian in eons."

Hermione gave Severus a greedy look. "All those books…"

"They are quite tempting." He pulled her close and gave her a kiss that left her breathless. "But the books will wait. I think there are matters between the two of us that take precedence."

Hermione sighed and wrapped him in her magic: they were suddenly in her bedroom.

"You took to that quickly."

"I've always been a good student, and I've been watching you manipulate this energy for weeks…I have some theories on how it might bypass the need for the focusing power of a wand…"

As much as he wanted to hear the theories behind what she'd just accomplished, he stopped her words with a kiss.

There would be time later for eons of debating magical theory. He chuckled darkly in between sinful kisses.

She was his now. And he was never going to have to let her go.

SS

Two goddesses looked through a magical mirror the scene until Athena blanked the image.

Aphrodite stomped her Jimmy Choo clad toes in disbelief. "Seriously? Just when they are getting to the good part?"

Athena sighed. "Don't you think they've earned some privacy?"

"But we set up the entire thing…I even had to talk my son into moving from God of Sex to God of Macramé for Hera's sake!"

"And now our two favorite mortals are not only together, but also immortal. I'd say that securing intelligent conversation for eons was well worth the effort."

Aphrodite pretended to pout, and then said slyly "Not to mention how this is going to affect council decisions by skewing the voting in our favor. We'll have enough votes to veto Zeus again!"

Athena, goddess of wisdom and tactics gave a small internal sigh. She should have known. Aphrodite never did anything without more than one reason.