So I was re-watching the new episode, and I wondered what would have happened if the twins and Stan hadn't hit the birdseed.

Rated for a character death (y'all love me, dontcha).

I don't own Gravity Falls.

GENERAL POV

"Kids, if I die, make sure I get a bigger tombstone than 'Ford."

He wasn't letting those kids get hurt. Not on his watch. Not ever again. He cared about them too damn much and was ready to protect them at any cost, even his own life.

The mountain exploded and they jumped, and he pulled them to his chest and twisted so that he hit the ground first, only feet away from a pile of birdseed that could have broken their fall instead of every bone in his body.

As he faded, vaguely aware of Mabel screaming his name and being yanked into Dipper's grasp as the younger of the two realized Stan's fate before his sister, he realized his only regret was that he had never fixed anything with Stanford.

And at his funeral, tears in their eyes, Mabel and Dipper laid the sash with the words "Our Hero" stitched across it on top of his chest, clutching onto one another as they stumbled into Soos' arms and away from their Grunkle's coffin.

Stanford stood in the shadows, quiet sobs making his body tremble as he watched the twins, watched his brothers coffin get lowered into the ground, realized that no matter how hard he tried, no matter what he had said in the past, he would never be as selfless or brave as his sibling.

True to Mabel and Dipper's promise, Stan had the biggest tombstone around, engraved simply with:

Stan Pines. The greatest Grunkle.

Okay. I like torturing myself. Bye.