Rich A***holes

Chapter 1 Impressions

'They say first impressions make a statement about yourself,
so you better make a pretty damned good one.'

What was a planned quiet night in for the Uzumaki household was beginning to turn a little more than quiet, possibly bordering on rowdy.

"You're sending me where?!" Uzumaki Naruto demanded her eyes narrowing as she glared at her mother, Uzumaki Kushina. Had she just heard her mum correctly? No, she must be hearing things. It couldn't be true. Of all the audacity, her mum couldn't have done it. Was she out of her mind?

The fiery red haired woman merely sighed, placing the tea pot down as she informed her angered daughter "I'm sending you to Konoha Academy, Naruto."

Correct. Her mother was out of her mind. Naruto eyed the phone.

What was the number for the nearest asylum again?

Pulling a face at the sound of the school's name, Naruto turned to pace. Why the heck was her mum sending her there? They were commoners in the rich arseholes eyes and she was sending her own daughter to a place where she'd be ridiculed for simply breathing in the same vicinity.

"Mother, what in your right mind told you this was a good idea?"

Kushina huffed, sitting down at the table. Crossing her legs, she turned to her blonde haired daughter, who was currently pacing alongside the table. While the fiery temper came from her, the rest belonged to her husband. Her eyes cast downwards at the thought.

"Don't use that tone with me, Uzumaki Naruto," she warned, pouring the tea she'd brewed, whilst adding softly "you're a bright girl. I don't want that to go to waste."

"Then why not keep sending me to a public school where they work people just as hard? What about Konoha High, my friends? It's the same business so they'd probably have the same quality, right? I prefer it there over that rich arsehole filled place!" Naruto exclaimed, throwing her arms out animatedly as she tried to get her point across.

Kushina was briefly reminded of Naruto's tantrums as a toddler. Oh weren't those the days…

The red haired woman merely shook her head, blowing on her tea carefully. Deeming it cool enough, she took a tentative sip before saying "I'm not talking to you about this, Naruto. Tomorrow morning you will dress in the Konoha Academy uniform and go to school."

With a stomp of her foot and a flick of her ruffled hair, Naruto stormed up the stairs, all while yelling "I am not going to some posh Academy where all those rich arseholes will judge me-

There was a slam, which Kushina presumed was Naruto's bedroom door.

-and that's final!"

"Did I mention I hate you?" the blonde grumbled the next morning as Kushina made sure her daughters tie was properly secure.

Raising an eyebrow, her lips pursing in thought, she replied dryly "I believe this makes it the seventh time. So, yes, you have mentioned it."

"I'll never forgive you for this," she taunted, hoping her mum would take the hint. She still had time. She could hopefully convince her mum as to what an outrageous idea this was. She could ring the school and tell them it had all been one major misunderstanding.

Yes, one whole major misunderstanding where she wasn't actually supposed to be sent to that Academy and they'd got it mixed up with some other poor person. They'd sent the uniform to the wrong house, the whole details on the package had clearly been mistakenly written and were supposed to go to someone maybe next door or-

"Stop it," Kushina reprimanded, sending her daughter a look of warning. She knew that Uzumaki tell a tale look of scheming from a mile away.

"Stop what?" Naruto asked with what she hoped was innocence, tilting her head with a look of confusion.

Kushina rolled her eyes, "You're forgetting you're your mother's daughter."

"I don't know what you mean," the blonde replied, eyeing herself in the mirror. She looked like…her brows knitted together. She looked like…one of them! Well, she was not one of them and damned if she was going to be made into one. Naruto tugged at her tie. It awkwardly twisted, slanting at an angle.

'Much better,' she thought with satisfaction.

Bending down, Kushina picked up her daughters bag before turning once again to face the blue eyed teen. Deep blue eyes honed in on the slanted tie like a girl hunting for the last stiletto heels on sale. Busying her daughter with handing her bag over, she sneakily twisted the tie back into place whilst firmly placing a kiss on Naruto's tanned cheek.

Naruto grimaced at the show of affection, grabbing her bag and pushing her mum away from her. Rubbing her cheek, knowing that there would now be a lipstick stain, she muttered "Whatever, I'm leaving now or I'll be late."

"Bye Naruto," her mum called from the doorway of their flat, "try to have a good day!"

"Goodbye mother," she muttered as she began to descend the stairs, which would lead her to the main lobby and out onto the roads of Konoha. From there she'd take a brisk ten minute walk to the bus, board the second bus and attempt to hide somewhere in the back where she'd go unnoticed by her ex-peers of Konoha High and then a further twenty minute walk to Konoha Academy.

Hell never seemed easier to get to.

Five minutes.

She'd been here for five minutes.

Five minutes and she was already hopelessly lost.

Here being the dreadful Konoha Academy.

Already it was living up to its title, prestigious students walking around, all with their put on high voices as they spoke about the latest politics or whatever god damned business their parents were at the top of, therefore making them the golden heirs.

Come on, who puts on a posh voice? The Queen? Well…that was a rather obvious one but certainly not these pricks!

Naruto was so tempted to rather unladylike fart in their faces.

The thought humoured her for all of the thirty seconds she imagined that happening, however decided that her first impression should at least be a far more memorable one.

Besides she was still lost and she didn't want to be the new transfer student who got lost on their first day. It would simply scream at others 'newbie' and 'come get me', which is why Naruto needed to make a first impression that would make everyone aware that she wasn't someone they could mess with. Unless of course they wanted to face the wrath that is Uzumaki Naruto, then of course she'd give them a special introduction.

She absently thought if it was too late to turn back and get on a bus to Konoha High. It sounded like a better plan then hanging around this hell hole. Honestly, how big was this place anyway? She was tempted to pull out her phone and load up Google Maps at this rate. Siri if things came to it.

So whilst she dug around her brand new crisp blazer for her phone, which she'd slipped into her pocket when her mum hadn't been looking, she glanced around to make sure no one was coming.

Where had she put the damn thing?

Her mum had told her not to take her phone, yet just hearing that had put her into the definite mood she was in now. She'd successfully slipped her phone into a pocket…it was just the question of which pocket.

"Hi!" a high pitched voice that should be illegal for this time in the morning greeted her.

Naruto froze, her hand at this very moment grasping her phone. She clamped her eyes shut, preying to any god out there that this god forsaken human being wasn't talking to her.

'Please let them pass by.'

'Please let them not talk to me.'

'Please let my existence be one without pain.'

"Hi!" the same voice greeted, this time closer and much more painful.

'Oh for god's sake,' Naruto cursed, breathing in sharply before turning with a grin plastered on her face.

That was the last time she was ever preying to that bastard up there. He could go screw himself for all she cared.

"So, you're new here?"

No, she just happened to stumble into this school whilst passing by. Her outfit just so happened to look like theirs too. Yeah, she was quite happily dressed like a muppet. It was for pure entertainment value, it was something she took great pleasure in dressing up like this and humiliating herself with the whole idea of being recognised as one of those rich turds.

Did you notice her sarcasm?

Thank god, at least she had someone who was on the same wave length.

With the look of the girl in front of her, she'd need all the support she could get.

Stiffly grinning, Naruto awkwardly greeted back "Hey…"

Naruto's left brow twitched upon looking at the girl properly.

"What's your name?"

Was…no, Naruto had to be wrong. How had this girl got away with it? Surely someone would have noticed? The girls' hair was bright pink, well…she wasn't all too familiar with her colours but Naruto was pretty sure it was a baby pink. How was that allowed? Surely she should be locked up in some room receiving a lecture about how that hair was unsuitable for such a prestigious school, shouldn't she?

"My name's Sakura Haruno, I'm in my second year here at Konoha Academy," she smiled brightly before adding in what seemed like a jokingly way, although Naruto could tell it had been told too many times "and yes, before you ask, this is my natural hair colour."

Impossible. Absolutely impossible. There was no way that atrocity was natural.

"-and I'm the Queen of Sheba," Naruto retorted disbelievingly.

"Really?!" the girl asked, which Naruto was beginning to affectionately nickname Pink Poodle.

The girl believed her for all of five seconds, before she coughed and said "You were being sarcastic, weren't you?"

Wake up, honey! This is the twenty first century! Sarcasm is used more often than not.

With a role of her eyes, Naruto was beginning to think exactly what idiots this school had let in as she told her "Do I even have to tell you that?"

A cherry blush formed on the girl's face; obviously Naruto's sarcasm had embarrassed the poor Pink Poodle.

Whoops.

Not.

"So, blondie, got a name for yourself?"

The sudden change of tone caught Naruto off guard. That type of tone would mostly be used at her school, often if someone had a problem with another person.

Looks like she'd ruffled the Pink Poodle's fur.

Oh goodie.

"Uzumaki Naruto," she introduced herself curtly, folding her arms across her chest.

"Nice to meet you, Naruto, as I'm sure you know this Academy doesn't take too lightly to people with attitudes so I'd warn you to make sure you keep in line," the pinkette clarified.

"An attitude?" Naruto asked "What attitude? Are you saying I have one? That's awfully rude of you, don't you think? Especially seeing as this is my first impression of you."

"I didn't mean that," the pinkette huffed, placing her hands on her hips as she asked "Now, do you want me to show you to reception or shall I leave you here?"

"Let me just ask Siri if that's okay," Naruto mocked, getting her phone out and asking "Yo, Siri, would you trust a pink haired girl to walk you to reception?"

There was the familiar beep as it recognised her voice.

Sakura made to interrupt her, a scowl on her face, yet she was cut off by Siri's voice.

'Sorry, I don't quite know what you mean.' Siri replied in its robotic, monotone voice.

"That's all I need to know," Naruto answered with a grin, turning to face the pinkette who looked like she'd be whisking up a storm.

"Follow me," the pinkette snapped as she stormed off in the direction of what Naruto presumed was reception.

Well…that was one impression she'd already given.

Perhaps not the most memorable one but there was still more introductions to be made.

She was only just warming up.

The room Naruto entered sent her eyebrows flying up to meet her hairline.

Several bookcases lined either side of the room, the far wall containing a massive window overlooking the school grounds. The floor was a honey wood, echoing out the offbeat sound of a high heel tapping.

Naruto cringed at realising exactly what song they'd been trying to tap to. Someone obviously hadn't been paying attention to their music lessons.

Taking a deep breath, Naruto turned her attention to where the tapping was coming from.

There was a mahogany desk standing in the middle of the room, a desk lamp was on the right side of it and there looked to be paperwork stacked on either sides, messily organised into some sort of order.

Naruto's hands itched to straighten it.

Knowing her mouth, her tongue having to be bitten so she wouldn't make a smart remark, Naruto turned her attention to the person sitting at the desk.

Her eyes were nearly blinded by a glint which was shone off something by the person.

Holding her arm to her face, shielding her precious vision, Naruto remarked "Do you mind? I'd rather keep my vision until I'm a grey haired old lady."

"Why you little brat, who do you think you're talking to?" a gruff voice retorted, not sounding that impressed by Naruto's remark.

Stepping closer, Naruto snapped "Alright, sheesh, I was just complaining about my eye sight. No need to get your thong in a twist."

"My what?!" the same gruff voice snapped, which Naruto was beginning to notice sounded eerily familiar.

"Alright, alright," Naruto rolled her cornflower blue eyes "calm your tits."

Jesus, she'd said one thing and this woman was left squawking at it. Honestly, this old bat wouldn't last one minute at Konoha High. Her lips quirked at the thought, good ol' Konoha High and it's humorous teachers. How she'd miss them dearly. Although…at this rate she may not be missed, if she continued at this rate she'd be sent back.

The idea was beginning to sound better by the second.

"Wait…do I know you?" the same, now familiar, voice asked.

Naruto couldn't really see the person properly, thanks to the light outside. All she could make out was their silhouette, which was no good when trying to judge if you've seen someone before or not.

"Oh, bloody hell, get over here and let me have a good look at you."

Blue eyes widening, Naruto stepped back a little as she exclaimed "No, you perv! What the hell? No!"

The sound of a chair scraping caught Naruto's attention, there were footfalls as the person approached her before silence.

Naruto clamped her eyes shut, backing slightly into the wall. Oh god, she was going to have some random stranger look her up and down like she was a piece of meat. Or worse, touched up. Naruto felt mortified at the thought. Oh god, she didn't want to be touched up! She'd worn her nice underwear too! Wait…she could always say she was on her period…no one wanted to go anywhere near that nastiness.

"Stop being so melodramatic, jeez, you're just like your mother."

That was not what she expected. Fluttering her eyes open, Naruto turned her head back to where the voice had come from. The person was now a little way off from her but as clear as daylight to see now.

Naruto looked them over.

Her eyes widened.

Oh god, maybe they should have just stayed over there after all.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" she exclaimed, pointing her finger at the person.

Rolling her hazel eyes, Tsunade Senju dryly remarked "Still the same foul language as always, brat."

"Course, where the fuck would it have gone?" Naruto grinned, realising it was her godmother.

Her godmother, Tsunade Senju, was an elderly woman who looked to be in her later forty's. She often tricked people by her age. However after being around the woman long enough Naruto knew exactly how old she was.

For her age, she was doing well. Naruto would give her that.

Tsunade had once said "Just keep dying the hair and the attention's diverted from the wrinkly face."

Naruto didn't think so.

It was more likely the rack on her. It probably distracted men long enough for them not to bother questioning her age. Speaking of which, it was currently on show for the whole world to see. Naruto pulled a face. Tart. She was probably kept busy as a nurse, especially with all these hormonal testosterone filled boys in this school.

Naruto felt like puking at the thought.

Tsunade Senju also had the absolute delight of being Naruto's godmother, she'd often pop by on the rare occasion when she was either sober or broke and sit down for a chat. She'd often be accompanied by Jiraiya, her husband and also Naruto's godfather.

Together they were anything but pleasant.

Jiraiya writes what most would call smut, yet he insists the books should be credited as masterpieces. Tsunade didn't fare any better, she was well known for her drinking and gambling habits. Together the duo created this bomb of endless bickering and laughter. They were a true sight to behold.

Yes, what a fine duo they made indeed.

They certainly taught Naruto some valuable lessons.

However what Naruto hadn't known was the fact that Tsunade was the receptionist at Konoha Academy, along with nurse. Well, she dib dabbed in both areas and when she wasn't needed at the Academy she was at Konoha High and when she wasn't there…well, you could always try the nearest pub.

While they weren't the best role models, they were like grandparents to Naruto.

Tsunade tiredly sighed, rubbing her forehead as she asked "Why do I have to face you of all things in the morning?"

"Hangover?" Naruto assumed as she walked over to her, now feeling far more relaxed as she was in the presence of someone who was familiar. Plus she wasn't a snob, prestigious or rich. On the contrary, she was the opposite of this.

"Don't you know it," her godmother muttered, walking back to her desk and sitting down.

"When do you not have a hangover though?" the blonde remarked, strolling over to the desk and fiddling with the papers.

The elder blonde paused, contemplating her goddaughter's words for a second before muttering "When I'm sober?"

"Which is rare in itself," Naruto retorted with a snort, organising the papers.

"Alright, alright," Tsunade chided, pushing the blonde's arms away "I just had that organised."

"Organised?!" Naruto exclaimed, grabbing hold of the papers and refusing to let them go, "it looks like someone's chucked a whirlwind in here."

She would sort them out. She had to. If she didn't then no one would.

"Oh whatever, get on with it, brat," Tsunade dug around in one of her drawers. Finding what she wanted, she settled back down into her seat.

"Now, what can I do for you?"

In a tone that stated that the information had been painfully obvious, yet had been explained nonetheless, Naruto mocked "I need a schedule for lessons or whatever. 'Apparently', if I don't have one I won't know where my lessons are. Incredible isn't it? Here I thought I'd just know them straight away. Damn."

Hazel eyes rolled at the blonde's sarcasm. Tapping the desk, she asked "Alright, who sent you?"

It was probably best, at the rate Naruto's mood was going, for her to vent out her feelings before she had to face another poor unfortunate soul.

"That Pink Poodle!" Naruto exclaimed with a huff, placing the papers down with a little more force then necessary.

Pink Poodle? Tsunade frowned in thought. Poodle? Pink? A sudden flash of an image appeared in her mind. Ah, Sakura. Now it all made sense. The hungover blonde grimaced. Probably wasn't the best person for Naruto to meet straight off the bat.

"Honestly, what's an idiot like her doing here?!"

Naruto began to pace, now finished with the papers and wanting something to do with this restless energy inside of her.

She continued ranting "I mean, she honestly thought I was the Queen of Sheba; does she have no common sense?"

Tsunade's lips curled upwards, she always had loved Naruto's sarcasm.

She also loved the nicknames she'd give other people, Pink Poodle being one of her favourites now.

Naruto gripped her hair, "My god, I wanted to smack her round the head. Then again, I'd only damage the little amount of brain cells she actually has stored in that massive forehead of hers!"

Tsunade rolled the thought around her head.

Actually, she knew Naruto would be doing quite a few people favours if she had smacked the pinkette.

Exasperated, Naruto turned to Tsunade "What's she doing here anyway? Is this a clown school?"

Tsunade felt herself choke on her saliva, her chest brimming as she tried to contain herself. Watching her goddaughter's rants had almost been a pastime favourite of hers.

Annoyed beyond herself, Naruto threw her hands in the air, crying out "Fuck that! What the fuck am I doing here?!"

Tsunade chortled at her goddaughter's irritation. It wasn't often that you saw Naruto fired up and angered. You'd see her sarcastic and wit more often, however once she got fired up there was no stopping her.

"Well, I'm glad at least one of us finds this funny, you old hag!" Naruto yelled, crossing her arms.

There was a hint of a smile on her lips though.

Clutching her stomach, Tsunade attempted to calm herself as she rummaged around for the teenager's schedule. Finding it, she slapped it on the desk as she told her "Oh, get going brat and leave me in peace!"

Naruto pouted, picking up the schedule and idly glancing it over.

"I will warn you, brat," Tsunade cleared her throat, becoming more serious as she clarified "not many will understand your…eccentric behaviour or humour. So, tone it down a little, alright? The last thing I want is Kushina howling down the phone after I inform her you're expelled."

"Eccentric behaviour? Tone it down?" Naruto's eyes widened "Are you mad, granny?"

Tsunade rubbed her forehead once again. That blasted headache was coming back.

"I'll be who I bloody like and no one's going to stop me."

"Just be careful with what you say, Naruto," Tsunade warned "you're in a whole other kettle of fish now."

Naruto gave her a look of astonishment. She pushed her shoulders up, her bust becoming a little more apparent. Sticking her nose in the air, she put on a posh arsehole voice.

"Oh, how can I not be eccentric, darling?" she asked with a flutter of her eyelashes.

Striding over to the door, schedule in hand and the other clasped on the door handle, she claimed "Why, I'm the Queen of Sheba, don't you know!"

A/N: Well, Naruto's first day at Konoha Academy seems to be going superbly! …did people find that amusing? I have to question myself sometimes…
Oh well, hope you all enjoyed the first chapter of Rich A***holes!

If so, make sure to review, favourite and follow.

Should I continue this? Let me know!

It only goes downhill from here…or should that be uphill? ;)

Bye for now and…

Stay tuned,

Honey-Emily98