Chapter 13

Aloha

Her dad was ecstatic when he found out Aloha was leaving on a road trip with a 'friend'. He offered her some valuable pieces of packing and traveling wisdom, saying that he had spent some of his best years on the road discovering himself before he met her mother. He didn't even ask who she was going with, only where then made her promise to take her lap top so she could stay in touch with him.

Aloha managed to condense a weeks worth of supplies into two bags. An old canvas duffle bag carried her clothes and personal items, while her trusty backpack protected her lap top, sketch book, snacks, small first aid kit and some other odds and ends that could come in handy. Her dad slid her a wad of bills to cover half the cost of food, gas and souvenirs with her 'road trip buddy'. He also burned her a couple of discs made up of their favorite music and the tunes he had found during his own travels. Aloha seriously doubted Barricade would ever allow her to insert a disc, charger or otherwise anywhere inside his interior, but the thought was nice and she brought head phones to listen to it while she was messing with her computer.

Barricade himself was still pretending like he could care less about her coming or not, but every time they melded life forces she could sense that having her company on the road was something he was looking forward to.

He was slipping in and out of recharge while she tidied her room so she'd have a clean space to return to. She moved about as quietly as she could to keep from disturbing him, actually clearing the floor of any clothes or shoes. Once it was cleaner than normal, she flopped down on her futon with lap top in hand and once again ran a search on Missouri's attractions. Overall, there were too many options to think about. And it didn't help that she had no experience with...anything, really. She didn't know what she wanted to see more, or what would have the most impact on the experience. It was daunting to think about.

Aloha bit her lip, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Where did she even start? Barricade was no help at all. All she knew was that he was going to more than one location, but he had yet to tell her where those places were. When she'd asked for details, she got a stubborn, "Its of no concern to you." Stupid, moody car.

"Barricade."

He rumbled back irritably.

"Why won't you tell me where we're going?"

"Because I don't want you planning any unnecessary stops along the way."

Aloha glared at him. "We're going somewhere new and you don't want to explore?"

"Theres nothing to explore."

"Maybe not for you. But I've never even been in that state."

"How is that relevant? I've never been to your sun before but I'm not going to pack up and go explore it."

"You're in a mood today."

"I don't have to explain myself to you."

Aloha couldn't remember being so insanely confused and angered by one person at the same time before. Though she knew almost every thing that came out of his mouth was a load of crap, and though she had seen into his 'spark' several times now, she still couldn't figure him out. She knew he wanted her nearby, either because she was 'accelerating his repair routines' or just so he wasn't alone anymore. But what on earth could he get out of being so hardheaded and closed off? Did she have to be in the middle of a joining with him every time she wanted an honest response? Did she-wait, why did she even care?

Oh, God.

Aloha went still, eyes wide and unseeing.

Was this her genuinely trying to make a relationship work? Was this her becoming attached? He was a grouch, but she had already admitted to herself that she enjoyed his company as much as he did her's, even though he'd never say it. This wasn't supposed to happen. She didn't feel anything for men, alien or otherwise, aside from her father. Hadn't she worked hard to desensitize herself to the concept of relationships? She didn't want the attachments. She didn't want the intimacy. She didn't want the feelings. She didn't want any of it. Hadn't she just argued with Barricade about it only days ago? At the same time, she couldn't deny that she enjoyed, sometimes even craved the transfers they shared.

But where was the line? What did she want? Was everything she'd worked toward until this point even valid anymore?

Barricade was silent, though she could vaguely sense that he was paying closer attention to her. His frame was no longer lax with sleep, but upright and alert. Aloha faced a storm of contradictions within, feeling the strain of it all pull at all her loose threads. The urge to drink slam dunked her, raw and demanding. But she couldn't move-her body was in full lock down.

"Female."

Aloha blinked slowly at him, jumping out of her skin when she felt his field brush carefully across her skin. Invisible calloused fingers moving down her arm, either confirming that she was still with him or seeking permission to join. Aloha was swallowed in an overwhelmingly painful vulnerability. She stood up, dumping the computer on the futon, and left the room.

Barricade

He wasn't entirely sure what just happened, though he knew somehow that he was the source.

Meat bags- all organics- were fragile things that broke under minimal pressure. Barricade wasn't sure because he'd never cared enough to learn the signs, but he thought that the female may have just broken. Or at least glitched. Again.

The bond building between them allowed whispers of what she was feeling at her spark to reach him. While trying to recharge, her blatant confusion and irritation had kept him awake. He knew why. She wanted to know more than she needed, and when he said so, her anger had burned like an energon knife across his field, further pulling him away from recharge. Understanding that he wouldn't be able to rest until her ridiculous emotions were addressed and calmed, he had reached for her with his field.

Her body jolted before he even made contact, freezing both of them in place. Him, because he was trying to understand what the pit she was freaking out about now, and her because she had come to some understanding in the ugly mess of her spark. Her energy went from roiling turmoil to a dreadful stillness, like everything in the world had come slamming to a stop.

It wasn't good. He had seen comrades and enemies suffer similar changes, and it left them vulnerable in the field. They weren't in a battle, but he couldn't stop the impulses, born from past experiences and from all of their recent transfers, to be concerned.

He tried calling to her first. No response. So he closed the distance between their fields, making as little contact as he could so not to trigger a flight or fight response. His effort was wasted. She jumped again. Their energies connected at one of her roots, a brief flash of agonizing uncertainty. Then she was gone.

Barricade huffed in irritation. Stupid female. He monitored her through the house, expecting her to go to the backyard. Instead she walked out the front door and went down the road. He tensed further, his spark squeezed in unease. Something had changed.

Aloha

Aloha met her dad at the studio on his lunch break. He stepped into the lobby and froze in place when he saw her standing there with her hands in her pockets. She forced a smile, "Hi, dad."

Her dad's face lit up like a sunrise. "Alo! You're here? To visit?"

"Thought we'd have lunch together since you did so much for me this morning."

"Thats kind," He embraced her tightly, "I'm so happy to see you."

She hugged him back just as hard, closing her eyes. For a second, all of her broken pieces stuck back together. He moved back and collected his things, "This is a special occasion! Lets go somewhere."

'Somewhere' turned out to be a convenience store on the corner where they sold delicious but questionable burritos and hot dogs. They both bought one of each and a cold sweet tea to go with them.

They sat together in one of the too-small booths and ate. Her father hummed in appreciation of the food. Aloha felt herself slip back into place, eased by her father's presence. His constant smile, just from her being there, made her wish she'd done this a long time ago. Which made her want to cry.

Aloha sucked it up best she could, trying to focus on her food.

"Are you excited for your trip?" He said cheerfully, "I can't wait to see pictures and hear about it. A good adventure is the best way to find yourself."

Aloha paused, looking at him from the corner of her eyes. He was looking out the window, dark eyes soft. "I wish I could go with you," He said quietly.

"We'll go on one when I get back. Just us." Aloha offered, "what if we saved up and took the same one you did? I'd like to see the places you found yourself at."

"That would be amazing." He said, "I haven't hiked or even seen a river in years."

Aloha rubbed at her eyes. She could still feel those stupid tears, and she didn't want them. When she saw he hadn't noticed, she added, "Got any more adventure wisdom for me?"

"Be patient with yourself and your friends, don't be afraid to get dirty, and trust in your ability to take care of yourself. Everything else I've already told you."

She tried blinking them away. Her father noticed this time, "Alo?"

"Yeah? I'm just...scared. I know a lot less about things than I should, and here I am jumping into something I really don't understand." She knew he wouldn't say anything if he realized she wasn't talking about the trip, even if she kinda hoped that he would.

"Thats the journey, Alo. We don't exist to know things. We exist to feel and experience them. Whatever comes, its okay to be afraid of it. You will figure it out. I know you will."

Aloha finally gave him a real smile. More than ever, she despised Chandler for making her father seem less than what he was.

"Whoops," He checked his watch, "I'm going to be late."

Aloha scrambled back out of the booth, stuffing the burrito in her cheek while she gathered what was left of their lunches. Together, they rushed back to the studio.

They kissed each other on the cheek and said goodbye.

"Be brave and have fun," Her father said, "I'll see you when you come back home."

"I will, dad."

Barricade was asleep when she came back home, though he'd inched closer toward her futon sometime while she was gone. Aloha hesitated, looking at him with uncertainty. The crushing realizations she'd come to this last week was enough to break her spirit, everything from finally understanding that she was destroying herself for something that wasn't worth it, to breaking some of her hardest rules without even knowing it, to realizing that she didn't even known who she was anymore, or what she wanted.

I don't want, I do want, I don't know. Aloha exhaled quietly and properly shut down her lap top before storing it and the charger in her backpack. She slid both bags she would take on the trip under her table so she didn't trip over them.

She pulled a fresh cooler from the fridge and sat down at her table to sketch on scrap paper. Aloha practiced figure drawing, each line bringing a character to life. She worked on it late into the evening until she stripped down and laid down on her futon.

Staring up at the ceiling, she made herself remember that she could handle anything that came her way.

Barricade

Barricade jolted awake to the abrasive sound of duct tape tearing. He focused his full attention on the source, and grumbled loudly at her for being woken up over something so stupid.

"Good morning, sunshine." The female greeted, voice lilting. "Did you sleep well?" Another stream of tape was yanked loose from the roll. She slapped one end on the mannequin's severed torso and tightly wound the piece around both pieces to reattach them.

"For frag's sake, female." Barricade said, "why are you wasting time on that thing?"

"Oh, so you can use my energy to put yourself back together, but I'm not allowed to help Darla? Thats selfish, Barricade."

"I'm not the sharing and caring type," He snapped, "would you stop with that infernal-"

The female looked right at him and slowly pulled the biggest piece of tape yet from the roll. Her stood up on his wheels and rolled closer threateningly. "I will turn you into a speed bump."

She cackled, "Then who would be your naughty little transfer slave? You could try to get off on the toaster, but don't you dare touch my coffee pot. You better believe I'll come back from the dead and defend her honor with my life."

Aloha wrapped another length of duct tape around the mannequin before she dropped the roll on the turning table. "You're all set, Darla! Promise me you'll look after our room, alright?"

Barricade glowered at the human. She wasn't even dressed to leave yet and she was up making racket. "Go get ready," He snarled, already thoroughly done with her and her antics for the rest of the day.

Aloha gave him a mock salute before she put on some clothes. She left the garage to fix herself a meal. He noted that the parent meatbag was already gone. Barricade sank back down with a heavy exhale and wondered over the change. She'd been an absolute wreck the day before, and now, somehow, she was more annoying than ever. He didn't know if he was going to survive this trip, a few days or not.

The female returned and gathered her bags. "Can I leave these in your back seat or do you want them in your trunk?"

He opened his passenger door and slid the seat forward in answer. She set both bags inside with care, "This has got to be one of the tiniest back seats I've ever-"

Barricade shoved the seat back and against her body, flinging her into the 'tiny' back seat. She yelped.

"Hey!"

"How is it that we haven't even left the building and I already regret this," Barricade muttered.

"You do realize you need to let me out to open the garage, don't you?"

Reluctantly, he let her back out. Aloha shut his door and went to the garage to unlock it and shove it upward. Barricade activated his holoform in the driver's seat and made a show of putting himself into reverse and backing out- right over those pit-forsaken bricks she kept sliding behind his wheels when he was in recharge.

He was going to hurt her. A lot.

Aloha shut the garage and locked it. She walked around to the passenger door. Barricade locked it just before she opened it, then unlocked it when she stepped back and crossed her arms, then locked it again when she reached for him.

She glared at him, a curl of her energy smoothing over his armor in spite of their aggravation with each other. He unlocked the door and opened it, "Stop wasting my time."

The female slid into the seat. He slammed the door shut, locked it, and buckled her in before backing out and peeling down the road.

So late again. Whoops. Gotta work on that.

This chapter was...I don't know. So-so. I hope you guys enjoy it though. Love you guys, hope you're having a wonderful day.

Aloha, her father and the story belongs to me. Barricade and TF does not.