Bakura: Master Male-Nurse from the Stars and Beyond!

A Yu-Gi-Oh Fanfiction by SpookyChild

Author's Notes:

Okay, okay, I know I put in the preview for this story that Ryou was supposed to throw up and Bakura says, "Damn Ryou, when the hell did you eat that?!" But, I'm lazy, and I forgot to put it in. So, here's the fourth and last chapter! Yeah…that's it.

Disclaimer: Hehe…yes, I own Yu-Gi-Oh.

Chapter Four: Flu on You!

Bakura looked away from the television when he heard the doorbell ring. He rolled his eyes and stood up, walking towards the door.

"Hello?" He asked, opening the door. "Oh, hey Daddy."

"Hey Spirit." Ryou's father replied, walking in and taking off his jacket. "Ryou called me. How is he?"

Bakura shrugged. "He's fine. I've been taking care of him." He boasted proudly. Ryou's father went a few shades paler.

"Oh, my dear Lord." He murmured before running into Ryou's room. Bakura frowned but followed. When he entered the room, he found Ryou's father perched on the edge of the bed, feeling Ryou's forehead.

"How're you feeling?" He asked. Ryou shrugged.

"Better, I guess." He stated. Ryou's father looked thoughtful.

"Well, maybe I should take you to the doctor's office, just in case you're, like, dying or something." Ryou frowned.

"Oh, real nice, dad." He said sarcastically.

"Nothing's nice about dying, Ryou." His father pointed out. "Now get ready, I'll go make an appointment for about an hour from now." Ryou's father turned and left the room.

***

"Punch-buggy!" Bakura exclaimed, leaning over and punching Ryou roughly.

"OW!" Ryou wailed, placing his hand over his shoulder. "Dad, Yami hit me!"

"No one likes a tattle-tail, Ryou." Mr. Bakura said, looking in the car mirror. "You just hit him back."

"OW! That hurt!" Bakura shrieked. Rustling.

"OW! Stop it! That's not funny!" More rustling.

"OW! SON-OF-A-!"

"ENOUGH!" Ryou's father screamed, placing a hand over his forehead. Why me…? There was silence in the car, before Ryou broke it.

"Dad! Yami's sitting next to me!" He complained, glaring at the spirit.

"Ryou's blinking!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"ENOUGH!" Ryou's father screamed again. "Not another word from you two or you'll get it when we get home!"

"…Am not."

***

"Oh, that crazy Pinocchio." Bakura chuckled softly, watching the Disney movie on the small T.V. in the doctor's waiting room. "He's always telling those lies."

"Yeah, what a renegade." Ryou stated sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Awww, someone's getting cranky!" Bakura cooed, pinching Ryou's cheeks and shaking him. Ryou frowned.

"Quit it!"

Just then, Malik walked out of the doctor's office, looking sick. Bakura raised his eyebrow.

"Hey, Malik. What're you doing here?" He asked. Malik shrugged.

"I caught that stomach flu that's been going around." Malik answered, paying the fifteen-dollar co-payment to the receptionist. Yami Malik came out of nowhere suddenly and grabbed on to Malik.

"He's havin' my BABY!" Y. Malik shrieked happily. Malik snapped his head around.

"What?! No I'm not!" He yelled. "And besides, if anyone was having anyone's baby, it would be you who was having mine!" Y. Malik looked horrified.

"Would not!"

"Would too!"

"Would not!"

"Would too!"

"Does anyone here actually have a uterus?" Ryou asked with irritation. The two Malik's looked to the ground, embarrassed.

"No…" They answered in unison.

"Okay, then who cares?" Ryou said, giving them a pointed look.

"What a bunch of idiots." Bakura stated, watching as the Egyptians left the building. "And they call us gay!" Ryou blinked.

"…They what?"

"Never mind. Hey! Is that a stethoscope?" Bakura turned and hurried into the doctor's room.

"I'll be in there in a second Yami, so don't touch anything." Ryou called to him, sitting back down in the waiting room. "I have to wait for Dad to get back from parking the car and listen to the Great Tale." He added sarcastically. Just as he said that, his father walked through the door smiling.

"Well, I had to circle around a few times, but I found a better parking space than before." Ryou's dad said happily.

"Yeah, two whole spots closer." Ryou stated.

"Oh, shut up."

"Mister Bakura, you can go in now." The nurse told them, pointing to the doctor's room. Ryou and his father walked in to find Bakura sitting on the examination bed with the doctor holding a stethoscope to his chest.

"Oh, he's Ryou, not him." Ryou's father said, pointing to his son. The doctor turned around and smiled.

"I know, he told me that he was Ryou's brother, and I figured if one is sick, so is the other."

"Hey, stick that cold thing on me again and I'll punch you in the face." Bakura growled, looking irritated.

"Sorry. Okay, let's see if it's anything serious." The doctor put the stethoscope to Bakura's chest again and frowned. Ryou tugged nervously on his father's coat.

"Eh…dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Yami doesn't have a heart beat." Ryou whispered. His father closed his eyes wearily.

"Crap. I'll go start the car."

"DEAR LORD! THIS BOY DOESN'T HAVE A HEART BEAT OR PULSE!" The doctor shouted, grabbing Bakura's shoulders and shaking them. "NURSE! NURSE!" He called out of the door. "WE'RE GOING TO LOSE HIM! CODE RED! CODE RED!"

Bakura and Ryou looked at each other and screamed.

"Why does this always happen to us?!" Ryou shrieked as Bakura and him ran down the corridor, pursued by a pack of nurses and doctors screaming at the 'Dead-Boy' to stop so they could bring him back to life. Bakura shrugged.

"Just lucky, I guess." Bakura suddenly stopped and punched his fist into his hand. "Hey, I know what to do! I saw it in a movie." He turned around and faced the doctors. "JUMANJI!"

"No! That's not going to work!" Ryou snapped angrily before getting an idea. He turned and grabbed the small toy machine next to him and threw it to the ground. The glass shattered and bouncy balls began to roll all over the floor towards the doctors. Ryou smiled smugly. "There, that ought to slow them down for a while."

The doctors simply jumped over the bouncy balls and continued their pursuit. Ryou frowned. "Strange, that usually slows them down for a while." With a shrug, Bakura and Ryou turned around and began to run again.

"So, Ryou, feeling better?" Bakura asked.

"SHUT UP!" Ryou yelled as they ran out of the building. They spotted Ryou's father in the car in front, and they hurriedly jumped in.

"Drive, drive!" Ryou screamed, and Mister Bakura stepped on the gas and they drove away, leaving the doctors and nurses in the parking lot.

"Oh no, I'm the getaway driver." Ryou's father moaned once they were far enough away to slow down a bit. Bakura shrugged and leaned back into his seat.

"Hey, at least you're not Crazy Carl." He said. Ryou's father raised his eyebrow.

"Crazy who?"

"Never mind."

"I can't believe the bouncy balls didn't work." Ryou murmured, looking confused. Bakura giggled.

"Heh…balls."

Ryou glared at him. "Oh, grow up."

***

"Well, we're home." Ryou's father said as they collapsed into chair in the living room. "Let's never go anywhere together again."

"Agreed." Ryou and Bakura chorused.

"So, Ryou, you're not sick anymore, are you?" Ryou's father asked, going into the kitchen to start making lunch. "I mean, you're not going to, like…flu all over the place, are you?" Bakura snickered.

"Flu all over the place… I get it. That's awesome." He said. Ryou rolled his eyes.

"Naw, I'm feeling a lot better."

"Why's that?" Bakura asked. Ryou shrugged.

"Because it's the end of the story."

Bakura raised his eyebrow. "What story?"

Ryou blinked. "Huh?"

"What?"

"Never mind." Ryou said, sitting back in his chair. He smiled. "You know what would be funny? Since I was sick and you took care of me, it would be funny if you got sick, and then I had to take care of you. Wouldn't that be funny?"

"Shut your face, Ryou." Bakura grunted, turning on the television. "Martha Stewart is on."

-----------------

(A/N)

It's the eeeeeeennnnnnnnnnddddddd! Woohoo! And all that crap. So…yeah! Now, here's a preview for the next Bakura saga. Go previews!

Bakura: Master Camp Counselor from the Stars and Beyond!

The gang gets invited to be the counselors for a brand new camp nearby.

" 'Camp Bouncing…Duck'? What the hell?!"

And, as we all know, the Yu-Gi-Oh cast is about as smart as a box of nails. So we know this is a big mistake. We watch as Bakura gets in touch with…um…nature.

"Hold on! I'll set fire to the hive! OW! DAMNIT! "

And Yami finds out a whole new meaning to the words 'Swimming Instructor'.

"Oh my God, Aibou is wearing his swim trunks! Later Anzu!"

If you ask me… I feel sorry for the campers.

And, here's a preview for the brand, spanking new "Almighty Yami" saga!

Yami: Almighty Vacationer from Egypt to the Shadow Realm!

Seto invites Yami and co. to his beach house for summer vacation. Please, don't ask why, I haven't figured it out yet. From a four hour car ride…

"Come on, guys! Let's play a game!"

"I'LL PLAY YOUR GAME!"

"OW! "

…To an interesting trip to the beach…

"God, I hate sand. It gets everywhere. And I do mean everywhere."

This is one summer they won't forget, unless they commit mass suicide. I'm hoping for the later.

As always… Thank you!