~NATSU~
We waited….and waited….seconds…minuets…hours….days…..months….years…..we have no idea how long we were all standing outside those den doors…listening for any signs of life…listening for SOMETHING that could tell us all that Luce was ok….
I was still tightly holding little Ryu's body to my chest, even though he may have not made it to life I was still filled with pride for my son, giving his life just so his brother and sisters could live.
But I was also filled with pain, mourning, and hatred…hatred for myself, I wasn't able to protect him…I wasn't able to give him the strength he needed to live…I can never forgive myself…my weakness cost us a member of our family…my flesh and blood…my son…
I could feel the tears of anguish fall from my eyes…I didn't bother to wipe them…it didn't matter to me that the entire pack could see my weakness…I didn't care…I am no Alpha…I couldn't even protect my own pup…
All of a sudden I felt hands placed on both my shoulders and back, I didn't need to turn around to know it was Gray, Gajeel, and Jellal…they could feel my pain…I know they were mourning our loss as well…but they were silently sending me the strength I needed to keep from falling into the maddening abyss that was my mind…a black hole that is threating to suck the very soul from my body…they are keeping me grounded…and I am thankful…
The doors to the den finally started to open and my spirit lifted slightly…only to come plummeting back down when I see the faces of Wendy and Elder…
"I'm….s-s-so….sorry….N-Natsu…" Wendy was sobbing as Mira pulled her into her embrace.
Elder just walked by, placing a hand on my head, "I'm am truly sorry Alpha…" then she walked away.
Why are they so sorry…Luce is fine right?...no…nononono this can't be happening right now….I can't…I can't lose her too…No….I'm going to walk in that room and she's going to look at me and give me that bright smile that I love so much…she's going to be tired but that's ok, she's been through a lot tonight…
I slowly stand up, not taking my eyes off the doors
"Natsu?"
I heard Mira call me but I don't look at her…my eyes are still glued to the doors.
I slowly hand Ryu over to her, "Don't you dare let him go Mira…"
That's all I say as I start opening the doors to my den…I know she's ok…I know she's going to smile at me the minuet I see her…
That's not what she does though…
I can feel the cracks forming around my heart already…It's so painful but I ignore it…
She's so pale…that's not how she's supposed to look…her hair is so dull…no…it's supposed to shine as bright as the sun…her lips have no color…they are supposed to be pink and plump…
This can't be happening….
No I won't except this….
I refuse…
"Luce….Lucy come on it's time to wake up…I'm sorry…I know it's selfish of me, you've had a rough night but…I need to hear your voice…I need to see your eyes…please Luce…please look at me…"
Nothing….absolute silence…
I could feel it…the cold fingers of insanity...they are slowly starting to circle around my mind…
I could vaguely hear the muffled and fogged voices of the guys…but I didn't care what they were trying to shout at me…
My Luce needs me…
I have to be by her side…
Stepping beside the bed, I look down upon her body…I reach my hand out and lightly push the hair away from her face…she's freezing…
"Lucy…geez your colder then ice…we need to warm you up…" I start hysterically searching the room for blankets…
She hates being cold…
I have to warm her up…
"Natsu! Stop! She's gone…can't you see that!" Gray shouted at me, grabbing my shoulders to make me look at him, tears were streaming down his face.
But I refuse to believe him…she's not gone…stupid princess doesn't know what he's talking about…
Gajeel and Jellal both walk up behind him…they are talking…but I can't hear them…I have to get Luce blankets…
I let out a frighteningly insane laugh and the guys back off me some but they could see the tears flowing like waterfalls down my cheeks…
"Sh-she's not g-gone…she's not…she's right h-here…can't you s-see her…s-she's freezing…I…I have to warm h-her up…she hates being c-cold Gray…I h-ha…I…I ha-have to warm her up…"
My mind is going black…and I start to panic…I run for the blankets I know are under the bed.
They are her favorite ones too, made from the hide of the bear she took down…
"I….I HAVE TO WARM HER UP!...SHE HAS TO BE WARM!...SHE HATES BEING COLD!...SHE HATES IT!"
I'm shouting out now as I desperately pull the blankets over her…
All of a sudden I'm pulled away from her
"NOOOOO! LET ME GO! I HAVE TO WARM HER UP! SHE CAN'T BE COLD!"
"SALAMANDER STOP! SHE'S GONE!...Bunny's….bunny's gone…."
Choking sobs were all I could hear now…
I stop struggling and look behind me, Gajeel…Gray…Jellal…the entire pack…every single one…tears…that's all I could see…that's all I could smell…salt was heavy in the air…
"She's gone Natsu…" Jellal whispered out placing a hand on my shoulder
Reality…it finally slapped me…hit me with the force of a thousand wolves…
Insanity…hysteria…madness…pain…anguish…anger…broken…beaten…shattered
I fell to my hands and knees…sobbing….crying…until I couldn't take it anymore…I threw my head up to the ceiling and screamed, grabbing my hair with tightly closed fists…
I just screamed…
I shot straight up, a hand was gripping my chest tightly and I was panting heavily, desperate to get air into my lungs. I was covered in a cold sweat and I reached my other hand up to my face only to feel tears drenching them…"fuck…I thought I was finally done dreaming that…" I breathed out trying to ease my frantic heart.
When I was finally calm enough, I twisted my body so my feet touched the floor, it was then that the doors to my den flew open and in ran a tiny pink blob, at least that's what it looked like at first.
"DADDY!"
Then I was tackled as the pink blob jumped into my chest, laughing I look down to my six year old pup, "Good morning to you too baby Luna, where's your brother and sister?" I asked her while giving her a massive hug and a kiss to the top of her head.
"They're already down by the lake swimming, I wanted to wait for you to wake up though. You promised you would go swimming with us today." She said pouting at me, looking at me with her big brown eyes.
"Of course little one, a promise is a promise." I say with a bright smile on my face, looking at her though I noticed something was missing, "Baby Luna, where's Ryu?" I asked her
She quickly looked down before panicking, "OH NO! I FORGOT HIM IN MY ROOM!" then she hopped down and took off out the doors.
"HEAD DOWN TO THE LAKE! I'LL MEET YOU DOWN THERE!" I yelled to her.
"OK DADDY!" I heard her yell back from the den hallway.
I sighed, shaking my head before standing up and stretching. I look to my side of the bed and pick up a golden chained necklace with a sun and moon pendant hanging from it and in between the sun and moon was a small container with some of Ryu's ashes.
I refused to have my son put to rest in the cold hard ground, so I went to Elder Makarov and had him cremate Ryu's body and make necklaces for every single member of the pack, Elders included. Even after all these years he is still giving everyone strength and I couldn't be prouder.
Stretching one more time I slowly make my way to the doors, grabbing hold of the handle I pause for a second. Looking back to my bed feeling the pain and sadness creep back into me, I shake my head before opening the door and walked out.
I said my good mornings to those that greeted me as I walked to the large doors to the den, looking to the bar seeing Mira's bright smiling face with Levy and Gajeel sitting on the stools, Levy's huge pregnant belly out for all too see. I chuckled lightly, ever since that day six years ago, pregnant she-wolves were starting to pop up everywhere.
Walking out of the doors, I am welcomed by the warm sun of spring time.
Closing my eyes I take a deep breath in and out, relishing in the smells of the forest.
I shifted and started making my way to the lake, taking my time to just enjoy the scenery around me.
Finally seeing the lake come into view, I can hear and see the laughs and splashes of the pups already playing in the water.
I can see my son, Igneel playing with Storm and Ur, Gray and Juvia's pups and off to another area I can see my daughter, Nashi playing with Simon, Mystogan, and Ruby, Erza and Jellal's pups.
I worry for a second though because I can't see my baby Luna.
I finally hear her sweet little laugh and I look to see her underneath a tree laying on her stomach on the snout of a very large wolf. She's being bounced up and down, laughing and smiling brightly.
The wolf finally lowers down enough and Luna slides off, planting a kiss to its nose before running off to play in the water.
I stop and take a minuet to take in the form of this wolf.
Laying on the ground shaded by the tree from the morning sun she's truly a sight to behold, even after all these years.
I start walking again making my way to the large beautiful wolf, golden fur lightly ruffled by the soft breeze, golden necklace draped around her neck, the pendant with Ryu's ashes was resting over her heart as she looks towards the lake. She's smiling as she watches the pups laugh and play together.
I'm almost too her when the soft breeze changes direction making her intoxicating spicy and sweet smell hit my nose full force and I breath it in deeply.
I finish my journey to her as I move myself to lay right behind her, nuzzling my nose to her neck, I hear a pleasant sigh escape her jaws.
She turns to look at me, her bright glowing blue eyes gazing straight into my soul, then she speaks.
Just like the first time I heard her voice, I am struck by the heavens as an angel has graced my ears with her soft and calming voice, "Natsu…" she breathed out.
She didn't need to say anything else, that one little breath of my name is enough to give me the clarity I so desperately needed to know that yes-she…is….here.
My Lucillia is alive.
And I am complete.
~AN~
Well guys…that's it…T_T
Just to clarify yes Lucillia is alive, that first part was in fact a nightmare created by Natsu.
Thank you so much to everyone that stuck with me through the end of my very first story.
I know I kind of threw you for a loop and broke hearts with the last chapter and I'm hoping that this ending will make up for it.
I love you guys very much and thank you for all the reviews and follows!
UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN!
Much love from a tkitty!