Tada! My very first fic, it's silly and born of the hiatus and all of my Shandy feels. Hope you enjoy and it makes you giggle.
Authors note: I do not own these characters, nor am I making any money out of them. I'm just embarrassing them in front of their colleagues and then putting them back where I found them. James Duff, Major Crimes and TNT still hold all rights
Andy let his hand glide down the back of the woman who was turned awkwardly in his passenger seat as he let his lips tenderly caress hers. She moaned as his lips made their may to her neck. As his hands slid down her side and reached her butt and she decided to throw caution to the wind, she pushed herself out of her seat and into his lap, straddling him. The position offered much better contact and access, which she took advantage of, slowly unbuttoning his lilac shirt whilst placing gentle butterfly kisses up his neck to his mouth.
Andy was initially shocked when she jumped into his lap, 'so much for old fashioned', he thought. His hands, still on her tight indigo jean clad butt, grabbed at her as she started exploring his neck with her mouth and tongue. Thank god they decided to drive to this secluded beach spot, if not they could well be arrested for public indecency. Just as the thought of trying to explain THAT to their bosses entered his head, her phone started vibrating in the handbag she left in the passenger foot well.
They both tried to ignore it, until his started playing a loud obnoxious ringtone that Buzz had assigned to his partner.
Pulling apart, she lay her forehead on his "Sounds like duty calls, Lieutenant" She said, still breathless.
"Yeah seems that way, one problem though" He replied smirking at her smudged lipstick and dilated pupils.
"And what's that?"
"My phone is in my back pocket, kinda hard to reach it when I have a woman straddling me" He grinned at her bewildered expression, as if she only just realized her position in his lap.
"Yes, that is a problem" she replied smiling at him and the ridiculousness of their antics. She patted his chest as she climbed back into her own seat, managing it much more gracefully than he thought possible. Why he was surprised that she would be graceful in any situation, he didn't know.
She reached for her phone, which had started ringing a second time "Captain Raydor" she snapped at the chief on the other end of the phone.
Meanwhile Andy got out of the car retrieving his own ringing phone from his jeans pocket. Seeing the name Provenza on the screen he sighed, hitting accept.
"Yeah" he answered, his tone showing his annoyance of being interrupted from the best car make out session he'd experienced since his 20s.
Sharon watched as Andy paced outside the car whilst getting the details from her other lieutenant, balancing his phone on his shoulder whilst doing his buttons back up. She had to hold back the snigger as he wiped the lipstick smudge from around his chin, casting a dark look in the direction of the car. Yes, she thought to herself, so much for old fashioned!
As the chief finished up giving her details of the scene, Andy perched himself on his trunk, taking in the sea breeze as he cooled himself down. And boy, did he need cooling down.
He felt her hand on his shoulder as she rounded the car, she looked flushed but really quite pleased with herself if that grin was anything to go by. Damn, if that didn't boost his ego knowing he had caused that smile along with the dark look in her eyes. He returned her smile and pulled her into a side hug as she sighed.
"So much for an uninterrupted evening" she said.
"Yeah, but at least I managed to get you to make that little humming noise" he said wearing a very smug grin.
Sharon giggled and hid her head in the crook of his neck "yes, we may have got a little carried away" she hummed "I don't think I've had a make out session like that since my 20s".
"Yeah?" he said looking down at her as she leaned away from him "me too" he admitted pulling her in and placing a soft kiss on her lips. "Let's get to this crime scene before people start talking".
They separated and rounded the car on opposite sides. Andy sliding into the driver's side and Sharon to the passenger's, he let his eyes linger over her appearance; ruffled hair, swollen lips with the last trace of lipsticks and a VERY creased blouseā¦.Provenza better not be in a grumpy mood, he thought. Hell who was he kidding? When was Provenza not a grumpy old man?
Sharon checked her reapplied lipstick one last time and attempted to get her hair under control as they pulled up to the bank of police cruisers, Andy nodded to the uniformed officer holding the crime scene tape up to allow him to drive beneath.
"You look fine," he said pulling up to the kerb and parking.
"I look like my hair has been messed up by someone's hands" She tried to keep a serious expression, but couldn't, not when his shirt so creased and hair disheveled.
Andy grinned at her, placing his hand on her knee and wiggling his eyebrows.
Sharon giggled at the utter boyish look on his face "I don't know what you're so pleased about, you don't look much better".
Andy looked down at his rumpled shirt and shrugged "It was worth it" he said reaching for the door handle.
Lieutenant Provenza started to make his was over as soon as he spotted his friend and partner's car pull up to the crime scene. He didn't notice the woman in the passenger seat.
"About time Flynn" he grumbled, "where the hell have you been? And what the hell happened to your shirt?"
Andy smirked as Sharon's door closed, causing Provenza to look up
"Ye gods, don't answer that, just get a move on" He said turning to his ranking officer "Captain" he said holding out his arm indicating for her to lead the way.
Sharon cleared her throat and gave her best Darth glare as she passed the grumpy Lieutenant, daring him to say anything else about either of her or Andy's slightly disheveled appearances.
The cruiser lights flashed across the front lawn of the small bungalow, illuminating a rather fake looking wishing well, Gnome collection, precisely manicured lawn and, was that a bronze unicorn by the driveway?
Mike, Julio and Amy greeted them one the other side of the driveway, where it seemed the body was impaled on something "OK people, what have we got?" Sharon said, looking around.
Provenza cleared his throat "Meet Mr Evans, 46, single, accountant. It seems a neighborly dispute got out of hand." He said with a hint of sarcasm.
"Mr Evans took a dislike to his neighbor, Mr Leyton's landscaping skills." Mike continued pointing to a shocked looking man sat in the back of a squad car and back to a very shabby looking lawn covered in weeds and beer cans. "An argument started, Mr Evans pushed Mr Leyton, who reacted and pushed him back, unfortunately onto one of his own garden ornaments." He lifted the tarp to show the Captain and Lieutenant the toppled bronze cupid, complete with drawn bow, sticking up through the victim's chest.
"It seems cupid hit his mark rather too well and pierced the heart." Mike deadpanned.
"And, what exactly makes this a Major Crime that requires my presence?" Sharon questioned none in particular.
"M'am" Julio started "Mr Evans is the chief financial officer or 'money man' for the LA Dodgers. Chief Taylor thought this case warranted special treatment."
"Are you kidding me?' Andy grumbled throwing his hands in the air "We got called in for, at best, accidental manslaughter?"
Sharon shot Andy a look to say tone it down, yes she was annoyed too, they were having a wonderful evening and she was looking forward to see where it might lead them. Hopefully to her bedroom and more undoing of buttons. Sharon snapped out of her thoughts, and cleared her throat. "OK, well we're here now, let's get this cleared up so we can continue with our weekends" She stated directing her team to their tasks.
Sharon walked over to the cruiser in which a shocked and somewhat shaky Mr Leyton was sitting.
Andy's eyes followed her as he sighed, he turned back to the task at hand "OK Julio, let's go speak to the other neighbors, see if the can confirm the story. Hopefully we'll get this wrapped up and actually have a chance to enjoy this weekend."
Julio sniggered, the rest of the team turned to look at the detective in confusion.
"Sir it seems you were already enjoying your weekend" Julio explained "You have lipstick on your neck." He held a bought of laughter in, as the other team members turned to look at Flynn. Sure enough he did have distinct red lip marks on the right side of his neck.
"Haa!" Mike exclaimed, "Andy that color looks good on you, almost as good as it looks on the Captain." He dissolved in to laughter leaning on Buzz for support, who wasn't fairing much better.
"Yes Leiutenant" Buzz said "It brings out the color of your, erm, blushing." He managed to get out before his laughter took over.
Sharon finished talking to the suspect, who was clearly shaken and in some state of shock. She turned when she heard the clear sound of laughter coming from her team. Sharon turned and walked over to her team, intent on asking them what was so funny about a murder, as she did so she caught Andy's eye who grinned at her. She raised her eyebrows in question as to why the entire team was in fits of laughter at a crime scene, except for Provenza who looked like he wanted to jump on cupid's bow himself. He pulled his collar away from his neck and smirked, realizing she had seen the evidence she had left on his person.
Sharon's eyes widened in horror as she realized that he was indicating several smudged lip prints along his neck and disappearing below his collar. She reached the group, who seemed to be getting their laughter under control, until Julio said "M'am, nice lipstick."
Sharon's mouth gaped and a blush made it's way up her neck and across her cheeks. She cleared her throat and shook her head before answering her detective. "Yes, thank you Julio." She suddenly found the obnoxious small bronze unicorn next to their body most interesting.
The team was beyond help at this point. Even Amy, normally stoic around the Captain and never one embarrass the older woman on purpose, was holding back tears as her shoulders shook.
"Perhaps you should try an keep more on yourself next time." The young detective stated.
The entire squad stopped and stared at her, mouths agape, not used to such dryness from the woman.
"Thank you detective I'll keep that advice in mind." Sharon replied one hand covering her face whilst her other one gently slapped Andy on the arm.
As the team finally got their laughter under control, Andy continued to stand there grinning that stupid and utterly irresistible grin of his. Soon enough she recovered from her embarrassment enough to chide him for not checking in the mirror before leaving the car. "You couldn't have checked in the mirror before we arrived at the scene?" She questioned , whilst trying to stifle a smile and giggle.
"What and miss the look on your face?" And quipped back
"Idiots" Provenza grumbled walking away and shaking his head "If you're all quite finished I'm going to get some work done, should you wish to join me that would be most helpful." He mumbled before turning to talk to Kendall.
"That makes a change" he heard someone say behind him. He turned ready to tell off one of the younger members of the team or his partner, the idiot, only to find the Captain smiling a Cheshire cat grin at him "Yeeees?" she asked. "Something I can help you with Lieutenant?"
"What have you done to her?' He rounded on Flynn "She used to be just mean, now she's mean AND sarcastic?! Ye gods!"
Sharon just raised her eyebrows in response, giving the best glare she could muster at this point over her glasses. Provenza thought better than to get sucked into a battle, when he had better things to get done before getting home to Patrice.
Finally, no longer drawing attention to themselves, the team made their way off to their assigned tasks, Andy was about to follow Julio when he felt a hand on his elbow and hot breath on his ear as Sharon whispered "Just so you know, and maybe to encourage you to wrap this case up as fast as possible. I have plans for you for the rest of this weekend, and they involve several places my mouth has yet to explore." She husked as she sauntered back to the car to call Chief Taylor and update him on the case and an estimated wrap up time.
Andy was frozen to the spot. Did he just imagine that? No she really did just whisper things about her mouth, on him, in his ear.
"Sir, sir?" Julio awoke him from his dazed state by tapping his shoulder "Are you OK?" he asked genuine concern in his voice, the Lieutenant looked as pale as he did that day he fainted in the murder room.
"Yeah yeah, sure I'm fine" Andy replied, shaking his head. "Cupid has a lot to answer for tonight and not just the dead guy on the lawn." He mumbled to himself, Julio caught his meaning and shook his head.
"Let's get this over with." Andy continued eagerly whilst trying to keep his thoughts away from where Sharon might want to explore with her mouth. That road only led to further embarrassing situations.
Julio smirked and shook his head, those two really had it bad, they were acting like a couple of horny teenagers. He was certain that really was Flynn's car he saw at the beach spot that her took his mother to for their regular evening strolls that her physiotherapist had suggested now she was back on her feet. He just thanked God that the sun had gone down enough for it to be too dark to see much more than the outlines of two people and a license plate.
THE END