How To Be A Beilschmidt

Step 1: Be a good cook like Ludwig

"That smells great Ludwig!" Lilli exclaimed as she entered the kitchen. "What are you baking?"

Ludwig beamed at her and motioned to his mixing bowl. "Apple Strudel and cinnamon apple cookies. Brother Gil asked me to make them since Antonio and Francis would be visiting later on and Toni would be bringing Feli!"

Lilli smiled at her younger brother's enthusiasm and placed her sewing basket on the table, taking out her measuring tape, paper and pencil. "I see. But could I have a minute? You've grown again and I need to take new measurements." The only female Beilschmidt pouted.

Their youngest nodded with a smile, temporary leaving his baking to stand in front of her and raise his pudgy hands in the air – like what Lilli always makes them do whenever she takes their measurement. The girl immediately went to work.

"Would you be sewing us new clothes, sister?" Ludwig asked.

His older sister smiled. "Yes. Brother Roderich was complaining that his sleeping wear had gone smaller so I decided to make everyone new ones. How are yours Ludwig?"

"The upper part is still fine but my pants had gone shorter."

"I see." She finished writing on the paper and patted her brother's head with a smile. "All done. You should check your strudel." She motioned to the timer above the oven that rang earlier.

Ludwig had gasped in alarm and hurriedly turned the gas off and wore his mittens, opening the oven and carefully taking the pie out of it. He sighed in relief when he saw the golden crust and had even inspected it for burned spots. Nope, still perfection.

He gave his older sister a toothy grin. "It's safe!"

Lilli smiled back at him and returned her things to the basket. "That's good to hear. Leave some for me?"

Ludwig beamed again and Lilli had to hold herself from cooing at the cuteness of the younger. "Of course! I'm making enough for everyone. You know how father always loved it when after he arrives from a hard day at work we all eat my cooking together."

She laughed. "I think that's everyone's favorite. So you'll be making dinner then?"

The younger nodded and placed the pie on the table to let it cool before he could place it inside the refrigerator.

He turned back to her. "I found a new recipe on the internet and can't wait to try it out!"

She laughed again and waved in goodbye, about to leave the kitchen. "Call me later, okay? Can't wait to eat your food."

The youngest Beilschmidt nodded and waved at his sister in goodbye too, returning back to his baking and finishing the cookie dough he currently was making.

Step 2: Be a good seamstress like Lilli

"Brother wait!" the voice of his own dear sister made Vash pause midway from entering his room. He stared sideways to where his sister was running towards him, a wrapped package in her arms. Vash immediately had a feeling what those were and smiled lightly at his sister.

"New clothes?" he asked. Lilli nodded and handed him the package.

"Brother Roderich was complaining about his sleepwear so I decided to make new ones for everybody."

"Brother is always complaining." He muttered as he opened his package. Although he spoke it in a low voice, Lilli still heard it and giggled in response. This made Vash smile slightly – but only slightly. He wasn't fond of smiling widely and obnoxiously like what their certain second eldest brother was so prone to.

But everything crashed – really, Vash could even swore he heard glass breaking – when he saw the clothes his dear precious sister had sewn.

"Pink." He stated, staring at the clothes in apprehension. "It's so… pink."

His little sister giggled in response. "You look good in them brother! I also wanted to add frills –" this made him look in horror at her, which she thankfully missed, "-but I decided not to since it won't look good on you so I decided just plain!"

When she looked at her older brother again, she was greeted by a blank stare. This made her frown in worry, knowing very well Vash only got like that when there was something he was having a hard time expressing – for he knew well the other party might not like what he's about to say. She couldn't help but scrunch the bottom hem of her skirt as she tried to hold in her tears. "D-do you not like it, brother?"

The tone of his sister's voice snapped him out of his stupor and he panicked a little when he saw how hard her sister was holding in her tears. "No, I like it!" Vash hurriedly wiped the moisture gathering at Lilli's eyes with his sleeves. "You know I love everything you make."

Lilli peered at him with those wide green eyes. "R-really?"

He hurriedly nodded his head. "Of course! If you want, I could wear this to sleep tonight."

His younger sister beamed at him and he returned it with a smile. Already, he was dreading the different jests he might receive tomorrow morning from his brothers. But just the thought of the huge smile Lilli would be wearing when she went down for breakfast and saw her family wearing her creations is enough to make everything worthwhile.

Besides, he couldn't help but think with a smirk as he waved goodbye at Lilli, it's not like he also wouldn't tease his brothers – whose clothes are probably just as ridiculous as his.

Step 3: Be a hoarder of weaponry like Vash

Vash was busy packing his various weapons in boxes when a knock on his door interrupted him. Grumbling in annoyance at the interruption, he roughly opened his door and was about to shout at one of his brothers – only for his shout to get stuck on his throat when his eyes landed on the person waiting outside.

"F-father…" he stuttered, staring in something akin to horror at their father's stoic face.

Aldrich nodded back at him in greeting and invited himself inside his fourth son's room, closing the door behind him. He observed the room and took notice of the different weapons lying around the boxes. Aldrich turned back to his son, who stood rooted in attention it almost made him smirk. Almost.

"I see you have new ones."

Vash gulped and tucked a hair behind his ear, eyes roaming around everywhere on room – everywhere but his father's eyes. "Ah yes, my supplier had new arrivals."

Aldrich opened his mouth but immediately closed it back, shaking his head afterwards. "I'm not even going to ask."

The response made Vash relax slightly. But only slightly. The intimidating form of his father preventing him fully and, not to mention, just by him being in Vash's room made it clearly that he had something to say to him. And the young Beilschmidt had an idea what it was – if the fact that his father had made small talk about his collection was any indication.

"So what do you need, father?" he finally asked, wanting this to be done and over with.

His father sighed and started digging on his jean's pocket. He brandished a Swiss army knife that had Vash widening his eyes in horror and gulp.

Aldrich let a smirk slip on his lips. "I see you recognized this."

His son hesitantly nodded. "Yes… I had been looking for it. Where did you find it?"

"Good question," he hummed and started flipping the knife, the blade going in and out of the holder. Vash was transfixed. "A little potato was playing with it."

Vash paled. "L-ludwig?" Aldrich didn't reply. He didn't need to, and instead handed the knife back to his son.

"I should punish you – actually, I would have punished you but that was until I heard Roderich grumbling and complaining about you." If possible, his son's face had gone paler than earlier. It never really ceases to amuse him how Gilbert and Vash dread every time Roderich was angry. In his opinion, listening to his third son play the piano for hours was better than listening to scoldings. It helps really that Roderich was very talented. "So expect Roderich here later to pick you up."

And with that, he left the room, smiling to Roderich when he passed him on his way back to his study.

Step 4: Be a great musician like Roderich

"Brother," Roderich called to his older brother, standing in the middle of the opened glass doors of the botanical garden their father had made for the albino and the animals he rescued. "My piano room now."

His older brother gaped at him. "What? What did I do now?" the albino returned the squirrel whose leg he checked on its cage and closed it. Almost immediately, that damned bird of his flew from wherever it was staying and burrowed its body on the other's silver locks, it's owner currently walking towards him in slow dragging steps. He only glared at him.

"Not you, one of your animals."

Gilbert sighed. "Okay, what did they do?"

"Günter, your darling cat and so alike his owner, had once again made my music sheets his litter box. This had been the third time this month – third time! – and it was on my new ones!"

Gilbert could help but snicker at the distressed face of his younger brother, the bird in his head chirping also like he was laughing along with his master. He motioned for the younger to get out and he closed the glass doors, padlocking it. "Not my fault your papers are all floral scented – you know how much Günter likes flowers."

Roderich's face had turned red in anger. "Would one normally excrete feces on the things they like?!"

He shrugged. "It's his special way of showing his love, what can we do?"

Roderich released a loud cry and stomped all the way back to their house and at his piano room, Gilbert snickering and his bird chirping behind him. When they arrived at the room, the older was surprised to see Vash already sitting beside the piano.

He hurriedly sat next to his other younger brother as Roderich started tuning his piano and preparing for whatever piece he had readied for them.

"So it's us again, huh?" Gilbert whispered to the boy beside him.

Vash only spared him a glance. "So it seems. Let me guess, Günter?"

His older brother snorted and smirked. An affirmative. "And let me guess, another stray bullet?"

Vash kept silent and observed the hole on the side of Roderich's piano; it could be seen clearly from where they were. Gilbert also seemed to have found it.

"Didn't father already warn you about it?"

He glared at his older brother. "It couldn't be helped, it was an accident." The other only shrugged.

Looks like their brother was done with his preparations for he turned to them and glared. "You better listen carefully." And with those words, he started playing.

Gilbert hummed when the first notes started floating around the room. "Death March, huh?"

"He's really angry." Vash commented, staring at Roderich's serious form bashing on the piano keys.

"I don't need to listen to his piano just to arrive at that conclusion little brother." Gilbert deadpanned. Vash glared at him in reply and both of them jumped slightly in their seats when a particular loud bang was released by Roderich. The other glared at them and they subtly gulped, this time focusing on their brother's performance.

Over an hour later, the two brothers were saved when Ludwig entered the room and announced that Elizaveta had arrived. Roderich thanked the younger one and with one last glare to his other brothers, dismissed them.

Gilbert and Vash were more than happy to leave the room.

Step 5: Be an animal lover like Gilbert

The second oldest Beilschmidt slowly checked his surroundings, the little precious things tucked carefully on his arms. Okay good, the coast was clear. He grinned widely and hurriedly ran towards the grand staircase leading to the second floor of their house (or would a mansion be more apt?). Halfway through, he almost stumbled down in shock when a familiar stoic face greeted him from the top.

"Another one Gilbert?" the eldest of the Beilschmidt siblings, Berwald, asked him, his tall form blocking the top of the stairs.

Gilbert had to clutch on the hand rails to stop his stumble – it wouldn't be good for him nor the little ones in his arms if he fell on the stairs. "Brother, stop doing that! You could have killed me."

Berwald ignored his outburst and went down the stairs, meeting his younger brother halfway. He peered at the bundle on the other's arms. "What are those?"

It took Gilbert a moment to get back his bearings and grin at his older brother, carefully opening the bundle where two small heads of cats peered at the brothers with wide curious eyes. "Kittens! I found these poor things on the trash bin outside school trapped inside a box. Their meowing was so heartbreaking I couldn't help but bring them here."

Berwald hummed as he observed the two animals. "No wonder you couldn't resist them. You always had a weakness for small and helpless animals."

His younger brother only pouted at him, hugging the kittens closer to his chest. His attention went back to them – or more specifically, at one of them who had a sapphire blue fur and weird eye bags on the eyes making the cat look like he was wearing glasses. The cat also stared back at him.

Gilbert noticed the exchanged at grinned, carefully plucking the sapphire cat and deposited it on his older brother's arms. Berwald was immensely surprised by the action he almost dropped the cat – almost because he caught himself in time and not to mention the kitten had immediately dug his claws on his clothes.

"What?" he asked, blinking at his younger brother in surprise. Gilbert only laughed at him.

"It seemed like you were quite taken with him so I'll let you have him. This little one –" he peered down at the black kitten on his arms. "-is for Ludwig and I'm actually glad you liked the other one since I didn't know what else to do with him." His younger brother then pouted. "And besides, I don't think father would like it very much if he knew I picked another stray animal and took care of it. He did tell me I could only have one of each variety and I already have Günter."

His eyes soften at the younger and patted the other's silvery head with his free hand. "What are you worried for? You know father won't really get angry with you – you're his favorite."

This comment made albino laugh loudly, but Berwald noticed it was a little strained. He scrunched his forehead in worry. What was wrong with his little brother?

"Of course I am, I'm awesome after all!" yup, there was definitely something wrong with his brother. This somber thing in front of him wasn't Gilbert at all. But before he could ask anything, the younger already slipped away.

"See you later brother, I still have to bring this little one to our little one." Gilbert chuckled as he started climbing the stairs again. Berwald observed his form before smiling slightly to himself, deciding on letting the other go at the moment. He would have to ask him some other time.

"Isn't Ludwig a little young to be taking care of a cat?" he instead asked. This time, a genuine laugh was released by his little brother.

"One is never too young to start learning about responsibilities."

Berwald raised an eyebrow. "Who are you and what have you done to my brother? Gilbert is never this wise."

"BROTHER!" Gilbert instead cried, gaping at him in betrayal. Berwald only smirked, patting the head of the-his cat when it meowed.

Step 6: Be a stoic doting older brother like Berwald

Berwald had been waiting for this day in excitement since their teacher first mentioned it. They were supposed to introduce their family, and he couldn't wait to introduce his darling little brothers to his classmates. Well, not really to his classmates. He just wanted a reason to gush and brag about his brothers.

"Oh, aren't you looking excited." His best friend Matthias exclaimed beside him, grinning at him. He only nodded at the other and carefully clutched their family picture. The Danish exchanged student peered at it.

"Heh, you have a big family! Although, my little brothers are cuter than yours – just look at my darling little Emil and cute Lukas!" the other unceremoniously shoved a picture to his face and started babbling about his brothers. Berwald glared at the picture (although he had to agree, the stupid Dane's brothers were cute. Just nowhere near as cute as his) and took the other's arm from his face. The Dane didn't pay him any mind and continued to babble.

"Matthias." He interrupted the other, those wide droopy blue eyes peering at him. "Shut up."

His friend only grinned at him. "Or what?"

"I'll kiss you." He deadpanned and even neared his face to the other's to further prove his threat, only an inch separating their faces. Matthias' hurriedly shut his mouth and fearfully stared back to his eyes, gulping slightly and pressing himself further on his chair. Berwald had to hold in his smirk. The other was always so amusing to tease.

"Beilschmidt, Anderson! Continue your flirting later. It's Beilschmidt's turn." Their teacher called, already used to them always on provocative positions. Berwald only nodded and stood up, throwing a smirk over his shoulders at the blushing heavily Matthias who glared at him in response.

He happily (or as close to happy his stoic face could portray) brandished his family picture and pointed to the shortest male of the bunch who was smiling sweetly at the camera. "This is Ludwig. He is our youngest brother. He loves baking and cooking and is always the one who prepares my lunch."

"Whoa! So he makes all of your delicious lunches and snacks?" the Dane asked, he nodded at him and continued.

He pointed next to the only female in the picture who had an arm wrapped on Ludwig and, like the younger, was smiling sweetly at the camera. "This is Lilli. She is our only little sister. She likes sewing and designing clothes and most of my clothes were made by her."

The comment earned him a pointed laugh from Matthias, he ignored it and continued.

He pointed to the boy next to Lilli who was holding on a shotgun and was pointing it at an albino. "This is Vash. He is my third younger brother. He loves all weapons and has three boxes full of them and another two boxes full of ammo. I got my army knife and pistol from him. It was his sixteenth birthday gift to me."

Everyone went silent and was gaping at him by this revelation – except for Matthias, who already knew about it.

He pointed next to the only raven haired boy who was stiffly standing in between Vash's gun muzzle and the albino. "This is Roderich. He is my second younger brother. He is a musician and had already won first place in five piano competitions across the globe. He loves expressing his emotions through the piano and usually scolds us by playing Chopin pieces."

His classmates released various gasps of awe that made him smile. Roderich was amazing and he was proud of it.

He pointed to the albino. "This is Gilbert. He is my first younger brother. As you can see he is an albino and also a genius. He's a Mensa card holder, had been since he was nine years old and is currently in his third year in Med school. He wants to be a Vet doctor. He also has a yellow bird that always stays buried on his hair. He named it Gilbird."

Like with Roderich, Gilbert also earned lots of gasps.

He pointed to the last member of his family, to the tall man standing next to him calmly gazing at the camera. "And this is Aldrich, my father. I think everyone already knows about him since he is the CEO of the Beilschmidt Empire. He's currently dating Julius Vargas, the owner of Vargas' winery, and is the best father in the world. My siblings and I love him very much." and with that he lowered the picture and returned back to his seat.

His classmate's reaction was delayed and it was only when he managed to sit did they simultaneously clapped.

From beside him, Matthias leaned to him again and grinned. "Well, aren't you smug?"

He stared at his friend for a moment before grabbing him by his collar and crashed their lips. When he pulled them apart, he glared at the other.

"I told you to shut up."

Matthias promptly whimpered.

And lastly, step 7: Be a proud father like Aldrich

"Your family, sir?" one of his managers asked, pointing at the picture frame on his desk. Aldrich stared curiously at the other, wondering why he had to ask that particular question when it was a known fact before he remembered the man had just been promoted. He was a new one.

"Yes," he replied, staring at the picture fondly.

The manager laughed. "Looks like you only have one daughter. She must be as rowdy as his brothers, the only daughters usually are."

Aldrich cleared his throat and stared at the manager in the eye, a small smile playing on his lips. "On the contrary though, she's very lady-like. Loves sewing and designing clothes – most of our clothes were actually made by her. Like how most of my lunches and snacks were made by my youngest, Ludwig."

"Then there's Roderich," he continued, this time taking the frame and caressed it lovingly. "My little musician. He has already won countless music competitions around the world and loves playing lullabies to me whenever I'm having a hard time sleeping.

"And then Vash. Short little Vash who looks so cute yet is just as dangerous." He looked back at his manager who was only patiently listening to him. "He loves weapons – everything deadly. He actually has a supplier! I just hope it's not illegal…

"Then my favorite son, Gilbert. He's an albino and is sensitive to almost everything. That's the reason why I was against his career choice – the kid wants to be a Vet! Although I don't doubt he can't do it since he's a genius but it's such a dangerous career, most especially for someone like him. But well, it's not like I can say no to him.

"And then there's my heir, Berwald, the one who'll inherit everything I own now in the near future. He's working so hard right now to be the best so that when he inherits the empire, he could make it flourish even more and be able to provide for his siblings. So that none of them would need to work and would have an easy life. He really loves his family.

"Well," he said at last, placing the frame back to its place and lean on his chair, smiling slightly at the manager. "That's my family."

The manager smiled widely at them. "They sound lovely, you really love them don't you sir?"

Aldrich nodded, gazing at the view of Munich outside the glass walls of his office. "They're my life."

"Although I do wonder," the manager said again, staring at him curiously. "Where is their mother?"

That seemed to the wrong thing to say for his boss' face darkened and he glared at nothing. The poor manager almost wetted himself at the scary expression his boss held.

"We don't need that bitch at all." Aldrich closed his eyes and rested a hand on his forehead. "Now is that all?"

The manager shakily nodded and took his papers back. "Y-yes sir, If you'd excuse me," He hurriedly ran out of the room.

When the click of the lock reverberated on the room, Aldrich swiveled his chair to face fully on his glass wall, knowing very well somewhere out there his ex-wife was happily leaning on his lover's arms, having no care for the children she left behind. He hurriedly took his phone and dialed home, waiting for one of their maids to answer. Only the sound of his children's voices could calm him at times like this and he knew well by this time they were all at home doing whatever it was they wanted.

And he was right, he already felt himself calming down just by hearing the sweet hello of his darling Lilli and sweet Ludwig, knowing well their older brother's would follow afterwards.

A/N: so the ages are:

Ludwig – 6

Lilli – 10

Vash – 12

Roderich – 13

Gilbert – 15

Berwald – 17

Aldrich – 41

Okay, I kind-of fell in love with this family and there's a (huge) possibility that I may write more of them but it probably won't be a proper story but more of a drabble thing like this one. I just wanted to know if anyone would be interested haha.

Headcanon time! I don't know why but I really think that out of his children, Aldrich's favorite is Gilbert. I know it's weird, hell I'm admitting it's weird too, but it's just what I think (maybe because the albino is such a charismatic kid? Who knows… I mean, Aldrich isn't the only one who had Gilbert as their favorite). And Aldrich would also be very vocal about it. Everyone knows Gilbert is the favorite (although Gilbert always makes it a point to forget or ignore that fact because he feels guilty for his other siblings – he really does love them) but none of them cares because despite that Aldrich treats, loves, and cares for them all equally – Gilbert just had some special privileges.

Also, Ludwig is obviously very much loved – probably everyone's (the siblings) favorite. Probably only because before he was born, Lilli was Vash's favorite, but when he arrived Vash became very much torn between his younger sister and younger brother. But these days, Lilli is winning. A huge part of it is because Gilbert is slowly becoming the younger's favorite and Ludwig isn't even being subtle about it (you could really see from who this kid came from) much to the albino's delight and his other sibling's jealousy.

And lastly, if you asked them, hands down Berwald is the greatest older brother ever. And the best part about him is, unlike his father and other siblings, he has no favorites.