Disclaimer: I own nothing. This is just something to indulge myself in while I am out of internet… and money. Anyway, enjoy.

Chapter 11

Umbridge knew. Not who was involved, exactly what we were doing or where but she knew we were up to something that she disapproved of. By the time that two weeks had past, the class could do things that they had never even imagined trying.

They could heal low level wounds through either muggle or magical means. Backflip and dodge like they were trained gymnasts or American cheerleaders. Accuracy and increased spell repertoire, not to mention the multiple uses for easy and household spells to incapacitate and cause severe damage.

"You're becoming an alcoholic," I commented, watching McGonagall down another scotch.

"Yes well, I blame you. Not even your father and his friends caused me this much worry," she said stiffly, "What is that woman even having you do in those detentions?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"You know I have absolutely no idea," I said truthfully, "Probably nothing good."

"And how, pray tell, can you not have any idea what you do in detention every night?" she asked raising her eyebrows, and looking resigned.

"Oh… I don't actually go," I said in a blasé tone of voice. Her glass is set down on the table and I look back down at my divination essay.

"Somehow I think that she'd notice that you aren't showing up," Professor McGonagall said looking as if she couldn't work out whether she wanted to know or not.

"Yes, well I cheat," I said, just as the bell went. Flashing her a smile I stood and darted out of the door, hearing something that sounded suspiciously like a head thumping onto wood as I left. Ah, the joys of going to witch school. I didn't feel up to the crowd in the great hall so I picked up some lunch and walked out towards the forest. There was low growling noise that seem to be following me. After a few moments I stopped and turned.

"Hello," Artemis said leaning against a tree. I smiled.

"I was wondering when you'd show up again," I said smiling at her. She moved forward, wearing the body of a teenager about my age rather than her usually childlike form. Considering she was trying to do the same as the rest of the crazy Olympians of our family, becoming older wasn't a surprise.

"Want to hunt?" she asked, licking her ruby lips.

"What is it with you and your crazy brother and your insistence that I need to learn to handle a bow," I said with a laugh. She smirked and shook her head.

"Yes, all that time wrapped around you. Teaching you to aim and fire correctly," Artemis said throwing me and innocent look, "I can't imagine why." I flipped her the finger.

"Where the bloody hell have you been?" Hermione asked, taking in my messy hair and dirt smudge skin. I briefly tried to decide on what to tell her and decided on a simplified version of the truth.

"I went to a nature party," I said neutrally, figuring that a hunting party that consisted of nymphs, stayers and a goddess of the hunt could be considered as such. Especially in the middle of the forest. A knowing gleam paraded itself through Hermione's eye and I wondered what she had come up with as an explanation to figure it out.

"So who are you sleeping with?" she asked nonchalantly. Of course, she couldn't come up with something a little more interesting? Boring.

"My godfathers," I said deadpan. Watching her face turn several different shades of colours in sheer surprise she covered her feelings by burying them in curiosity.

"Are they good at what they do?" she asked, Ron slapped his hand to his face. Spikes of ginger hair moving in the air flow created by the momentum.

"Hermione, she was lying to you," he told her, though it came out a little muffled due to his hand not moving. She flushed.

"I'm not sleeping with anyone, though several people are trying to convince me otherwise," I said serving up some gossip for having the patience to put up with me for as many years as she had.

"Anyone we know?" Hermione questioned. I briefly thought about what disaster that would be and felt as if I had missed being hit by a speeding train.

"No," I replied honestly.

"Wait," Ron said, "You said people, don't you mean boys?" I repressed a snort.

"No, half of them are girls," I said, women I changed internally, "I mean people." Even if the men could be called boys without any ah, slight against their maturity. I noted the look on his face and smiled. "Hey look, I think we broke Ron," I said patting him on the shoulder. There were snorts and giggles as Ron nodded with my assessment.

"Come on, dinner time's soon. Go get dressed," Hermione sighed in vague amusement. I hopped up the stairs to shower and throw on some clothes. Unfortunately someone decided that there should be dinner and a show.

"Sixteen years," a sobbing voice called, "I have lived and taught at Hogwarts for sixteen years. You can't do this." I recognised a sobbing Professor Trelawney in the entrance hall.

"Well I'm afraid I can," a sickly sweet voice. Ah hell no, I thought to myself. I picked up a gravy boat and then put it down. In my bag there was a large flagon on liquid ghost fire and some matches. Umbitch screeched horribly and slid over, her fat body wobbling in disgusting manner as I dumped it over her head.

"Potter, detention," she yelled, "You impertinent little brat." I stared at her unimpressed and dropped the match. Fire sprang up and she began screaming and begging for her life. I moved over too where McGonagall was comforting our divination professor. I patted her on the arm comfortingly.

"Delores, you do realise," McGonagall started but I cut her off.

"No, no don't," I said shushing her, "I want to see how long it takes." Dumbledore chose that moment to make his grand entrance and ruin it all.

"Delores, pull yourself together, it's just ghost fire," he said contemptuously.

"And now we'll never know," I groaned. She stopped screaming and stood, still appearing for all the world like a walking flame. Deep shuddering breaths wracking her pudgy frame. A simple finite causing the fire to go out. I pouted.

"Potter, detention for the rest of the year," she hissed. I nodded. It wasn't like I had been going anyway.

"Minerva, if you could escort Sybil back to her room," Dumbledore commanded, while the teacher that had previously been standing in a stunned stupor moved forwards to thank him in a babble of almost incoherent words.

"Dumbledore, may I remind you that under article," Umbridge started to inject sharply.

"You have the authority to dismiss my teachers, you do not however have the power to banish them from the grounds. That power remains with the headmaster," he said in a harsh and loud almost shout.

"For now," she said in return. I imagine that it would have sounded sharp, sweet and annoyingly over confident. Except I had just lit that bitch on fire and her voice was still shaky and slightly hoarse.

"Sia," Fred asked in a faintly awed voice as everyone bustled into the great hall after Dumbledore's cranky dismissal. Old man must be forgetting his nap times.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Marry us," George said seriously as either of them could manage.

"Sorry boys," I said with a relishing grin, "I'm not that easy."

Not to mention if a mortal nabbed her, they'd probably be subsequently incinerated. Ah well, what do you think.