For the lovely dimensionhoppingrose on tumblr on the occasion of her birth ;D

a bit of fluff that is ten types of ridiculous and from a prompt on the "we're bad at dating" au list

Rose was pretty sure she was going to injure herself from the strain of not rolling her eyes at her date. The wanker was going on and on and on about how he had done some "very important" and "classified" research while in uni and had gone on to do even more "important and classified" work once he'd graduated and been recruited by "very important people." He was taking pretentious to a whole new extreme and they hadn't even gotten their appetizer yet.

Rose gritted her teeth as he made some offhand, derogatory remark about people living off of welfare and government handouts instead of working to make something of themselves like he had. She almost laughed at that bit, she was positive that Adam Mitchell had had everything practically handed to him on a silver platter since he was born with a silver spoon up his arse.

She really should have never agreed to this date but it was her boss's nephew and he'd asked her out while she was at work.

Now she was stuck.

"So what do you think of it, Rose?"

"Hmm? I'm so sorry, I lost track of what you were sayin'." She almost cringed at how harsh her accent sounded in comparison to Adam's polished one.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "It's not polite to fail to pay attention to your date."

Rose almost scoffed at his nerve. Like he'd been paying any attention to her! He'd been too busy bragging about himself to pay attention to her. She opened her mouth to tell him that but was interrupted by the arrival of the waiter with their appetizer.

He put down the plate and then pulled out a notepad, looking between the two of them with a twinkle in his brown eyes. "Now, are the two of you ready to order or do you need another minute?"

"We'll both have the linguini with clam sauce," Adam answered, not bothering to check with Rose and handing his menu to the waiter to dismiss him without a second thought.

The waiter shot her a questioning glance, pulling a bit of a face at her date's highhandedness.

Rose gritted her teeth. "Actually, I'd like the eggplant parmigiana, please. I'm not a fan of clams."

"Understandable," he said, shooting another sidelong look at Adam.

Rose bit back a giggle, understanding the waiter's urge to take digs at her date. She glanced up at him and had the brief thought that she'd much rather be on a date with him than with Adam. Tall, slim, really great hair and all wrapped in an oxford, tie, and slightly wrinkled trousers. Just her type, really.

But she was on a date. With Adam the wanker. Just fantastic.

The waiter took Rose's menu and disappeared leaving her with a glaring Adam.

"Undermining me when I'm trying to do something nice is also not very polite."

"Ordering for me without askin' isn't polite either," Rose shot back, annoyed.

"Whatever," he huffed.

They sat in awkward silence for a minute or two, nibbling on their appetizer.

"So, what do you like to do for fun?" Rose asked, breaking the awkward silence.

Adam was off and running again, talking about the computers he liked to build. "I also like to hack into government servers when I'm bored, just to prove that I can," he said with a conspiratorial wink.

"That's, um, interesting," Rose tried. Adam didn't seem to notice her discomfort though.

"What do you like to do?"

"When I have time I really like to sketch and I'm trying to get back into painting. It's been a few years since I've really had a chance to do any," Rose said, trying to let her enthusiasm for her art breathe some life into this date.

"That's cute," he responded, not even attempting to tone down his condescension or probably noticing that it was there. "You ever sell any pieces."

"No, I do it for fun, not to make money."

"What's the point, then?"

"Fun, Adam. It doesn't have to be profitable," Rose said slowly.

"But it's more fun if it is profitable. Money is always fun," he countered.

"Only if you have it," Rose mumbled.

"What was that?"

"Oh nothing," she answered with an innocent smile. "If you'll excuse me, I need to use the ladies'."

Before he could say anything, Rose was away from the table and headed for a much needed respite in the loo. She had no clue how she was going to survive this whole date without attempting to punch Adam in the face.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

John watched as the blonde from table five practically fled to the loo. He didn't blame her, he'd walked by their table multiple times and heard snippets from what could loosely be called a conversation. From what he'd gathered, her date was monopolizing the talking and didn't even bother asking what she wanted to eat before ordering for her.

Then when he'd been at their table, the woman had looked relieved to have someone to focus on other than her date and had almost laughed at his little insult. It was such a bad idea to try and flirt with someone on a date, even someone on an obviously bad date but the woman seemed interesting and she was certainly gorgeous and it was worth a shot.

Perhaps sabotaging her date would gain him some points.

Whistling cheerfully, John grabbed a pitcher of water and started making his way through his tables, refilling glasses and checking on the status of everyone's meals. He was a table away from the blonde who had finally come back from the loo when he heard someone snapping in his direction.

John deliberately took his time, chatting to the lovely couple lingering over their dessert before turning to face the increasingly exasperated dark haired man that didn't deserve to be the blonde's date.

"I've been trying to get your attention for five minutes," he reprimanded.

"I'm sorry, sir, I'm a waiter, not a dog. I don't answer to snapping."

"So you heard me and ignored me?" He sounded outraged. "That is horrible service. I'm going to have to complain about your behavior."

"Adam, that's not necessary. He was busy and he was getting to us. You were just being impatient," the blonde intervened, leaning forward to put a hand over Adam's on the table. "Let's just get through dinner and not worry about complaining, okay?"

Adam grumbled but agreed. The blonde shot a smile up at John. "I could use some more water, I don't know what he needs you for."

"Just wanted to check on how long it's going to take to get our food."

"Shouldn't be longer than ten minutes," John answered, his dislike for this Adam character growing by the second. "May I refill your water?"

Timing it so it seemed like an accident, John reached for the glass at the same time Adam did and tipped the glass into the man's lap.

Adam started sputtering immediately. "You idiot! This outfit costs more than you make in a year!"

He stood up, ignoring John's halfhearted apologies. "Have this cleaned up by the time I get back," he ordered before stalking towards the men's room, radiating displeasure.

The blonde started giggling as John started wiping up the water. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

John looked up with a mischievous grin of his own. "Now why would I do that to a paying customer?"

"Because he's an arse?"

"Could be a contributing factor," he admitted with a shrug. "Mostly did it so I had a chance to talk to you though."

She blushed, cheeks turning bright pink. "Well, I appreciate you getting him away for a bit. This date is a disaster."

He chuckled. "I gathered that. I'm John by the way." He stuck out the hand that didn't have a sopping wet dish cloth in it.

"Rose," she said, slipping her hand into his and shaking it.

"This is extremely bad form but I don't know that I'll be able to talk to you without your escort around again," he trailed off, running a hand through his hair, mussing it and making it stand on end. "But I was wondering if I could maybe take you out to dinner or coffee sometime? Maybe? If you want."

Rose bit her lip, trying not to let the wide smile that wanted to burst onto her face show. "You're right, this is a very odd time to ask someone out."

John's face fell and he started wiping at the remnants of the water more forcefully than necessary, avoiding eye contact. "Right, sorry."

"Hey," she said softly, "I didn't say no. I just said it was odd. I'd actually love to get a coffee or dinner with you."

"Really?"

"Really."

They both grinned at each other, dopey expressions egging each other on.

Rose caught movement over John's shoulder and her expression switched to distaste. "Adam's on his way back. Slip me your number sometime before I leave and I'll text you about a date, okay?"

"You have a deal Miss…"

"Tyler. Rose Tyler."

His dopey grin returned. "Alright then, Rose Tyler, I'll be expecting a text from you. I'll try to rush your dishes out so you don't have to spend much time with your idiot date."

"Feel free to spill more things on him if you want," she said with a wink.

Adam returned before he could reply and looked between the two of them suspiciously before telling John off for not checking on the food yet.

Rose made it through the rest of the date without slapping Adam, which she considered a major accomplishment. John slipped her his number under her plate and continued making snide comments about Adam that went straight over his head for the rest of the meal.

When Rose finally parted from Adam outside of the restaurant after a rebuffed kiss, it was with a smile on her face that had nothing to do with the date she'd just been on and everything to do with the date she'd made for the next day with John.