Shermer, IL – Beginning of December 1992

"You know, I'm really startin' to get pissed off at Tom Skilling telling me it ain't gonna snow and then it does. Like I can see the shit coming down from here!"

From his spot in the recliner, Dad could see over my shoulder outside into the front yard, which was now blanketed with a thick coating of the white stuff. Not that it is unusual here to get snow in December, but you'd hope the weatherman wouldn't lie. It happens often enough.

This is probably why I have trust issues.

"I just hope the roads are ok. You know your mother. She's a good driver,…cautious, but in the rain or snow?" He sighed before continuing, another "psst" sound from the oxygen canister at his side, "I think it's her nerves."

"Dad," I said as I watched the snow continue to fall out the front window, "She'll be alright. Like you said, she's a cautious driver."

"Defensive," he corrected. "I'm more offensive. "

"Right," I said as I directed my attention back to the news.

I hadn't wanted to come back here. I hadn't been in Shermer for longer than a weekend since I graduated from high school in '85 which was about 7 years ago, so I wasn't too keen on having to move back home for the long haul but since Dad got sick, Ma needed the help. She isn't like, an invalid or anything, but she's definitely older now and not as energetic as she was a few years ago. Seeing as my sibling couldn't possibly be bothered to move home, I was left with the task, which isn't as bad as I'm making it out to be. True, I wouldn't have come home for any other reason and I honestly don't hate the idea of having to be back at home, but it's certainly an adjustment. I've been here a month now and I'm still complaining about things; I really should know better, I mean, grew up here.

Most of the people after high school seemed to stay in the area while very few of us were able to escape at the first chance. Me, I left for the West Coast, graduated Berkeley, and immediately got a job writing for a publication. I was lucky because I was able to move up and am currently the music columnist for one of the more popular magazines on the West Coast, aptly titled "Neo Maxi Zomb-Dweebie." Stupid name, but the kids, both high school and college, eat that shit up and as long as they continue to buy it, I've still got a job. I've been able to score some really awesome stuff, like interviews with some of my favorite bands, early release stuff, concert tickets; it is a very sweet gig and considering Chicago is so close, the move hasn't affected my job too much.

"GODDAMMIT!"

I heard a shout that broke my train of thought coming from the back of the house. I looked to Dad but he wasn't startled by the sound of Ma yelling. I heard the sound of a grocery bag ripping and its contents of food tumbling to the floor.

"Probably should go help your mother," Dad sighed and looked to me. I smirked and nodded before saying, "I'm coming."

"IS ANYONE GONNA COME AND HELP ME? JESUS!" Considering it was just her, Dad, and I, the "anyone" in question was obviously me.

"I said I'm COMING," I shouted back at her before sighing and reaching down to pick up the veggies and fruit that spilled out onto the back door landing.

"Well, you know, I didn't hear you. Acknowledge me next time," and she walked past me up the stairs into the kitchen.

"I di-nevermind," I grunted before gathering as much of the groceries as I could and looking up to notice the car. "Ma?" I said loudly to get her attention but as quick as lightning, she was back on the stair case "shhing" me.

"Damn this weather!" Ma said with a chuckle clearly trying to distract my Dad from coming into the kitchen and seeing us huddled around the back door.

"S'what I told Charlie," Dad shouted, "Tom Skilling is a liar." He hadn't moved from his chair in the living room.

Ma laughed before reaching me at the bottom of the stairs and looking out at the car. "Now, don't make a fuss."

"Fuss?" There was a large set of scratches all along the passenger side doors on her silver Quattro in a deep black color. "Ma, what happened?"

"When I left for the store, roads weren't bad but, by the time I left, nothing but ice. I'm surprised I made it home in one piece. You know how these people drive out here? If they aren't sight-seeing, they're acting like speed demons, always speeding around you as if the Devil was chasing 'em and that's what happened. People were driving like assholes and I slid into one of the barriers."

"Did you make a report or call the police?"

"No. Truth be told, the car got more damage than the damn barrier did. But, I did get to call Mike's Auto Body, on Ridge, and he said he'll take a look at it tomorrow. I'm gonna need you to take it in."

"When?" I asked suspiciously. Despite the occasional running of errands, taking Dad to his doctor's appointments,etc., my sleep schedule, surprisingly, hadn't changed. I've always been a night owl, but even before I discovered my passion for writing and music, I found I always hit my creative peak at 10-10:30PM until dawn. This was in complete contrast with my other siblings who, like my mother, were day people who woke up at the ass crack of dawn.

"AW WHAT? 9:30?" I groaned. 9:30?! Is she out of her mind? I don't even wake up that early to go to the bathroom!

"SHH, will you keep your voice down?! Yes, 9:30 A.M. Missie. Maybe, if you had a normal schedule and slept at night, it wouldn't be a big deal to you." Annnd the truth comes out. I rolled my eyes at her like I was 16 again before making my way up the back stairs into the kitchen with my mother in tow.

"Ma, you couldn't have picked a later time," I pleaded but Dad must've heard the commotion and entered the kitchen.

"Why are you shouting? What's at 9:30?"

"Charlie has an appointment tomorrow," Ma said as she tried her best to act casual as she began to put groceries away.

"Yeah? Where?"

"Um, band interview at the Metro in the city. Won't be too long though- I'll be back before 5."

"That's if the weather's ok. Skilling says it isn't gonna snow," and he scoffed.

"Yeah yeah, "I said as I helped him back to his chair so Ma could start dinner. "Give the guy a break, Dad. He's been on the air for how long now?"

"He's battin' 2-0 right now, so who knows what the day will bring?" Dad sat down to watch reruns while I made my way back into the kitchen.

"You owe me," I said as I grabbed the mini-wheat box from the top of the fridge and took a seat in the chair by the phone, but I was only able to get a few pieces in my mouth before Ma snatched the box and placed it back on the fridge.

"I carried you for nine months, raised you, and gave you clothes and food and a place to live. YOU owe ME, and don't you forget it. I made you and I'll take you out. Now, go back in the living room. Dinner's in 45."

There was no use reasoning with Ma when she was like this and, honestly, the fight wasn't worth it. As much as I didn't want to, seems like an early start for me tomorrow. Yay. (Please tell me you can at least sense the sarcasm.)

…

Isn't it fascinating when the time your brain chooses to turn on all of its thoughts is the time when it should be turning off for sleep? As I lay in bed, a flood of memories came back and I began to think over all the previous times I had slept in this bed; not just the past month, but all through my childhood and up into my teenage years. I mean, there were still posters up for bands like "Psychedelic Furs" and "The Cure," and I had books for "required reading" still on my desk. I should probably go through stuff, I thought, and give it to goodwill or something.

As I lay there thinking about the clothes that were now too big or not in style that still hung in my closet, I ended up falling asleep for what seemed like a moment before my alarm went off and Ma was banging on my door to get a move on.

Waking up wasn't so bad and, judging on the condition of the roads outside, the plows had come through during the night. They even looked decent enough to travel on without worrying about slipping around.

"Just be careful of black ice," Ma said in a whisper so Dad wouldn't hear. "You take it to Mike's and ask for John."

"Mike's on Ridge, ask for John, 9:30," I yawned and waved my hand.

"Yes, and once you find out what the damage is, call me and I'll give you the ok to use the credit card."

"Yes Mother," I said sarcastically as I took a final swig of my coffee and placed the mug in the sink.

…

Mike's Auto Body sat on the corner of Ridge and Conkey right next to Skip's diner, a place where my friends and I used to frequent on the weekends and when we needed a break from finals. I remember one of the last nights I was in town, I met up with Brian and we had our final coffee date.

Wow…I hadn't thought about Brian in years.

Since the "Closed" sign was up in the window of the shop, I opted to park the car at the side and smoke a cigarette before the place opened. It was about 9:15, so I still had some time to kill. I used the lighter in the car to light my cigarette before stepping outside to smoke it-Ma would KILL me if she found I had been smoking in her car. As I shut the door, I looked up over the smaller shops across the street and saw it, the bane of my existence, Shermer High School.

Like the night before, my mind began to wander as the nicotine from the cigarette filled my lungs. I thought about all of the mean and horrible things the "richies" and "jocks" used to call me; I was larger then than I am now and my family was not as financially stable. I thought about how horrible the food was back then, too. God, I hated the food there, except for the Salisbury steak, which was probably the only thing edible there.

I remembered my friends, the few I had, and thought of Brian again. Last I remembered, Brian Johnson, who had graduated with me, got a full ride to MIT so I can only assume that he is a super smart buh-gillionaire with a Barbie doll wife and a mansion and honestly, good for him because he deserves all the nice things life has to offer. Same with Allison.

Allison Reynolds was a year older than I was, but she was such a good friend and an amazing artist. I know she had said something about wanting to go to Columbia but with Andy wanting to stay in Shermer and do community college, maybe she stayed in the area afterwards? I wonder if she and Andy were even still together. They weren't really showy with their relationship despite the fact that everyone knew they were dating. I really hope they made it work. Jesus, I haven't thought about them in forever.

I suddenly had a wave of anxiety rush over me and settle in my stomach at the thought of running into someone I went to high school with. I suppose it depended on the person, but in my case, the bad outweighed the good a great deal. Depending on the experience you had in high school, you either cherished it or hid it away and I chose the latter.

I looked down at my watch and, realizing it was now 9:35, I threw my cigarette onto the frozen ground and stepped it out before making my way into the shop.

There wasn't too much to the place. When you walked in, the first thing you saw was an ugly mustard yellow desk with a deep brown countertop. If you were to look past that, you'd see the service window that allowed you to look into the garage. I could see people moving around, but no one really saw me. This was when I saw the singular bell with a hand written sign that said, "Please ring bell for service. Thanks!"

Next to the desk was a door that led directly into the garage. In the corner, behind the door, sat a TV and, next to that, a table with a coffee pot and things like creamer, sugar, and cups. The smell permeated the little room which made my mouth water. Note to self, I thought, get coffee ASAP. I waited for a beat before I could see that no one was coming out, so I did as the sign suggested and rang the bell.

Almost immediately, a short Hispanic man entered into the room from the door that led to the garage. He reminded me of Mario from the Super Mario Brothers, but, instead of the cheesy Italian accent, he had a heavy south side of Chicago accent with nasal "a's" so thick they could cut metal. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, hi. My mother called here yesterday about a scratch on her Quattro? She was told to ask for a John?"

"Oh, yeah, Riley, right," he asked as he opened his book to double check the schedule. He smiled before saying, "I'll get him." I watched as he turned to the glass window overlooking the garage and shouted, "Bender!"

Instantly, that wave of anxiety rushed over me again as it all finally clicked in my head.

Bender.

John Bender.

Like, John Bender, who was the epitome of "Bad Boy." I'm talking foul-mouthed, sarcastic, temper-mental burnout….

Like, John Bender, the boy your parents warned you about…

Like, John Bender, the boy who I had the BIGGEST crush on in high school.

Come to think of it, Allison told me once about how they met and it wasn't just Bender, but how she had got close with Brian, Andy, and Claire Standish on fateful Saturday. That last one shocked me. You could imagine the look of confusion on my face on that following Monday when Allison told me all about their detention and how close they had all become. You can also imagine, when Allison said "Hi" to Claire, how much my heart broke for Allison when Claire basically humiliated her in front of all her friends. "She wasn't like this Saturday, I swear," Allison said as she hung her head down and walked quickly down the crowded hallways out of my sights. I was so furious with Claire that I turned back to look at her and flicked her off. It didn't matter though and I could hear her making fun of me to her friends as I tried to go after Allison. I didn't see Allison until lunch time but, when I did, she seemed to look better and had brought some company.

"Charlie, this is Brian Johnson," Allison announced and we smiled at one another and shook hands. "And this is Andy." I stuck my hand out and he shook it.

"Listen, babe, I gotta go, but I'll see you after school," Andy said to Allison before kissing her on top of her head. "Nice to meet you Charlie. Brian," and Andy nodded at him before joining the rest of the jocks on the other side of the lunch room.

"S-So, you know Allison f-from, um, art?" Brian asked. He was very soft spoken and sweet. We talked a little bit about how I met Allison and, turns out, we were in the same Biology class. He even offered to tutor me if I ever needed the help. After that, we just became really good friends, even through graduation but we had lost touch over the years.

I knew who John Bender was before I had actually met him as, naturally, his reputation preceded him. I remember Allison and Brian mentioning him in passing, particularly when referencing that Saturday or when Brian spent that entire month trying to help Bender raise his grades so he could graduate. Otherwise, I only spoke with him a few times. The first time, which was when Brian and Allison had introduced him to me after school one day, I jumbled my words so badly, he thought I had a speech impediment and, almost every time after that, I would be so nervous to talk to him that my words always came out muddled. That might be cute to some people, but as a teenage girl, I was mortified.

The first thing I noticed when he walked through the door was the facial hair, but honestly, not much else had changed. It sent me right back to junior year of high school when I had first seen him talking to Allison and Brian and I felt my stomach drop. Instead of his usual get up from our high school days, he wore a grease-stained blue jumpsuit with an embroidered "Bender" patch on the left breast pocket.

"Yeah," he asked the small Hispanic man, not even noticing me standing in front of him.

"This young lady here says her Mother talk to Mike last night about a scratch on a Quattro?"

Bender leaned over the small Hispanic man at the book before her looked up at me and I felt my stomach gravitate to my throat. Part of me hoped he had no idea who he was, but there was another part of me that expected him to see me and recognize me immediately. I hadn't really changed that much as my hair was still as dark brown and as unruly as ever, but it was a bit longer. And, sure, I may wear a little bit more make up around the eyes and maybe my skin was a bit darker from California but I was still Charlie Riley. I waited to see in his face if maybe seeing the name in the book clicked, but he looked completely unfazed. As expected, I found myself tripping all over my words.

"Yeah, Um, she scrat-scratched it on a barrier? Car runs and everything and but, yeah,…scratched," I nodded as if it would emphasize the point but, honestly, I was over thinking every movement I made and mentally chastising myself for having just murdered English grammar. I mean I've been around some of the most popular music artist of the last couple years and never once was I this nervous-not even when I met Elvis Costello and he's one of my musical idols. Yet, here I am, a ball of nerves just trying to think of natural gestures to shake out the nerves and looking like I have a disorder of some sort. Bender looked at me and, as if he had a moment of realization, blinked before diverting his attention back to the small Hispanic man, who, upon looking to his breast pocket, was called Leo.

"Riley, right?" He asked Leo. "Janet," he asked as he looked from the book and back at me.

"No, uh, Charlotte. I'm her daughter." Nothing, I thought to myself…seriously?

"Cool," he said and looked to Leo, "I got this. I'll pull it in next to the Trans," and Leo patted him on the arm before going through the door into the garage. Bender looked back to me and asked, "Where'd ya say you parked the car?"

"Hm? Oh! At the side. When I got here, the 'Closed' sign was up, so I parked it to the side of the place, but I can move it if you want."

"Nah, it's alright, Riley. Just gimme the keys and show me where you parked it. I'll take a look."

"Ok," I said as he walked from around the desk and headed towards the exit. I followed him to the door and outside to show him where the car was parked. "It's that one there," I said and handed him the keys.

"Right, go ahead and have a seat in the shop. At least it's warmer in there," and he smiled before he unlocked the door of the Quattro and started the car to move it into the shop. I smiled back at him and made my way back into the shop. The smell of coffee hit me again and, remembering how good that coffee smelled, I figured I'd grab a cup while I waited.

Apparently smells can be just as deceiving as looks as the coffee was rancid and I ended up throwing it in the garbage before settling in one of the couple chairs they had against the wall. Early morning soaps were starting which were always a major snoozefest to me. In situations such as these, I always found comfort in much so I pulled out my Walkman and listened to the latest mix tape I made of some of my old favorites. I had to laugh as I watched Susan Lucci basically mouth all the words to Echo and the Bunnymen's song "Sugar Kisses," creating the most ultimate music video I had ever seen. I chuckled to myself as I watched this go on for another 10 minutes or so before Bender re-entered the room wiping off his hands. I removed my headphones just as he began to speak.

"Mrs. Riley?"

"Miss, actually," and I held up my hands, palms facing me to show, "not married." I grinned and, as God as my witness, I could've swore I saw a smirk but it was to himself.

"Well, Miss Riley, I've taken a look at your car and the scratch needs to be buffed out. I can do it, but it will cost you a sum of one-hundred and fifty dollars." He stuck the rag he used to wipe his hands into his pocket and leaned against the side of the desk.

"Mm, quite the predicament," and Bender nodded. "Can I use your phone?" Bender stepped back and bowed while making a grand gesture to the phone behind the desk. "M'lady," he said to the ground before looking back up at me with a smile. I had to giggle and walked in front of him to the phone to call Ma.

"Ma? Yeah, I'm here. Well, I'm with John now," I turned to see if he was still behind me but he had went to change the channel and, thankfully, stopped on a Looney Tunes cartoon. "Well, he's saying 150 bucks which, I mean, that's reasonable," Ma rambled to herself for a moment and I looked to John. I made a motion of "blah blah blah" with my hand to not only mock mom but to see if I could get a reaction from Bender. Success, as he smirked before he looked back at the tv set. "Do it, then? Okay, hold on, um, John?" He turned to look at me and nodded, "how long would it take to fix today?"

"I've nothing else to do so I can probably get it done in about an hour or two at most?"

"He's saying an hour or two," I informed Ma through the receiver. Once she gave her blessing, I told her good bye and hung up the phone. "Alright," I said as I slapped my arms against my body. Again with the stupid nervous gestures, I thought to myself, before telling him "Ma said go ahead."

"Well, thank goodness Mommy and Daddy said ok," he said before pointing at the tv, "You want me to change the channel back to the stories?"

"God, no," I laughed as I moved to the side of the desk. "I'll take Daffy Duck over Days of Our Lives every time."

"Yeah," he laughed, "Me too. Alright, so we're good?"

"Yep, we're good." I saw Bender look me over for a sec and make eye contact which made me blush. I must've looked like a deer in headlights as I scrambled to think of something witty to say but all I said was, "What" in sort of a nervous chuckle. Did I have something in my teeth? On my face? Was it my face?

Bender shrugged, "Nothin', Riley. Probably should get to work then" and I watched as he tossed back his hair from his face. Still had that gray streak, I see.

"I'll be here…not moving…oh except, I might be outside. You don't mind if I smoke out there, do you?"

"It's where we smoke," he said and I kinda of laughed and nodded as I watched him go through the door leading into the garage.

Jesus woman, pull yourself together! I mean, shit, it's just John Bender. I rolled my eyes and mentally beat myself up before returning back to the chairs. I watched a little bit of the cartoons before turning my walkman back on and dozing off.

…

"Alright, people, listen up," Richard Vernon announced as he moved his jacket aside and placed his hands on his hips. "This is the last goddamn Saturday detention of the school year and the only thing I'm gonna ask of you is to remain in this room for the next 8 hours. You will not leave unless I tell you to but what you do in here is up to you within reason. That door will remain open and if I hear any funny business, any ruckus, OR I SMELL SMOKE OF ANY KIND, I'm looking at you John Bender, I'll be in here so fast it'll make your head spin."

"Which way?" Bender was leaned back in his chair and was looking rather intently at Vernon.

"What?" Vernon asked, clearly annoyed already.

"You said you'd make my head spin-I'm wondering which way, Sir."

"What's it matter?"

"Curiosity, Sir."

"Curiosity killed the cat, Bender," which caused Bender to smirk and fold his arms. "You know what, Bender, I'm really sick and tired of all the bullshit you put me through this year, so can we please have a Saturday where you just stay in this room and not take a screws out of doors or run around the school like it's your own personal playground-please? For once?" Bender saluted Vernon, which seemed to please him, until Bender used the same hand to flick him off. Vernon walked over to Bender and, using the chair Bender had been using as a foot rest, knocked Bender's feet from it and had a seat next to him.

"I'm going to say this really slow, so maybe you'll understand me. I can see that nothing works with you. I try to be nice, I try to be a hard-ass, I've tried threats and yet, nothing has managed to get to you. Bender, you do me this one solid and I'll let you walk across that stage. I don't care if you've flunked every single one of your classes, I'll let you walk and give you your goddamn diploma." Bender's entire demeanor changed as he considered the proposition; you could tell as he tried to direct his focus to anywhere else but Vernon. "Bender, I don't like you and you certainly don't like me. I accept that and I can't think of anything better than a school where you're no longer a student. I want you out as much as you wanna get out but I can't make that happen without a little something from you in return. So, please, stay in here today, ok? Can you do that, Bud?"

Bud? Vernon and Bender were mortal enemies and to see Vernon basically pleading to Bender, stooping to call him "Bud" with the promise of letting him graduate? Bender had nothing to say and I could see his knuckles turning white on the desk in front of him as Vernon waited for an answer. Vernon smiled and stood up from the chair as he patted Bender on the back. Bender, who immediately flinched away from Vernon's touch, looked up from his chair with this look of hatred. Vernon simply laughed. "Well, you think about it, ok,…Bud," with a hard emphasis on that final "D," Vernon walked from beside Bender out of the library and into his office.

There were three of us in detention that day, Bender, myself, and Claire Standish. I was honestly shocked to see her in there but she must've been caught ditching again. (Allison had told me that was why she was stuck in detention the year before too.) It was really quiet for about 10 minutes and I watched as Claire struggled between remaining forward and turning around in her seat to talk to Bender. She finally chose the latter and she took a moment just to stare at him.

Bender, who hadn't moved since Vernon left the room, looked deep in thought before he directed his attention to Claire. He instantly sat up and cracked all his knuckles before tilting his head to the side and asked, "Can I help you, Sweets?" Sweets, I thought, as she was anything but.

She very emotional as she went to touch Bender's hand but, when he realized what she was doing, he quickly moved them. "What are you doing?"

"John, I-" she said in a sort of broken voice but he tisked.

"Now, Cherry, you gotta be careful because we're in the presence of a fellow peer. I mean, she may go tell all your friends we're speaking, so, probably best you turn back around and we forget you ever once condescended to show any sort of remorse, let alone to speak with me, ok?" The two of them looked to me; Bender smiled and nodded a sort of "hey" in my direction while Claire narrowed her eyes as if I was the most disgusting thing on the planet before turning her attention back to John.

"John, that's not fair."

"Fair?"

"Yeah, you act like I never told you what exactly was going to happen come that Monday. I told you, I told all of you, but I wouldn't expect you to understand."

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asked as he leaned forward.

"We come from different worlds, John. This isn't some kinda corny love story. Listen, it was fun but now it's time to grow up and get real."

"Do you actually believe the shit that comes out of your mouth or do you just say shit because you like to hear yourself talk?" I desperately tried to hold in a chuckle at that one, so I kinda covered my face and doodled in my notebook while they continued.

"It was never gonna work John. Not a year ago, and not now. I'm sorry, but-"

"Don't apologize to me. It was my fault for thinking you were a better than all that clique bullshit," Bender threw his hands up in defeat, "My bad, Princess."

"I'm trying to put what happened last year behind us and end this school year on good terms, John. I don't want to fight with you."

"Cause you're not used to fighting at all," Bender rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest as he stomped his boot on the chair.

"Oh, cause you're not used to it either, huh Johnny?" I wasn't too sure what it meant, but whatever she said really hit him hard, because Bender went from sarcastic to angry in a split second.

"You're a real fucking bitch, you that?"

"What's a matter, John, can't take what you dish out?"

"You wanna know something, Queenie? No one, not a single fucking one of your friends, actually gives a shit about you. You give them all this power to run your life and they don't give a damn about you or your problems. WE did and, instead of growing a pair and standing up to your 'friends,' you followed along like a fucking sheep. Baaaaad move, Princess."

"Shut up," Claire said immediately turning around from Bender, but he didn't let up, opting for standing up and moving around the desk to make eye contact with her. "I mean, you wanna be 'real' for a sec? What are YOU gonna do with YOURSELF once all your fucking friends aren't around to tell you what you can and cannot do? No, CLAIRE, I wanna know, CLAIRE, just what exactly are YOU gonna do when your fucking friends aren't around to tell you who you can and cannot talk to or hang out with, huh? What will become of the precious Prom Queen once high school has ended? You really think that shit's gonna follow you into college or are you just gonna find a new flock to follow? You gonna be like them Claire? I mean, you got great role models-maybe you can ask your mother for marriage advice considering it's working so well for her."

"Fuck you, Bender."

"But see, that's the kicker. That's what you'll be thinking when Thad, the tiny dicked multi-millionaire is trying to thrust his limp dick into you. You'll be thinking of me and he'll probably be thinking his little piece of ass on the side."

"You son-of-a-bitch," Claire tried really hard to get away but Bender stayed on her going so far as to lean down at her eye level.

"And it's cool because you'll pop out a few puppies, get fat, get that fat sucked out and get the fat stuck somewhere else. You won't feel it or remember it though, because you'll be too fucked up what with your drinking problem and all. You'll start to resent your kids, which is cool because they fucking hate you anyways, and then you can use them as pawns in some really fucked game you play with your husband. Sad thing is, you think all of this is normal because every single one of your fucking friends is doing the same goddamn thing. God, it's so fucking pathetic, I'm almost sorry I'm not gonna be there to watch you fizzle out."

"You think you know a fucking thing about me but you don't-"

"Oh, but I do. See, I listened to you and talked to you and you couldn't even find it in your heart to do the same with me so, you know what, you can wipe your ass with that apology or the pity you supposedly have for whatever 'we' were. Far as I'm concerned, it's like a fart in the wind. So go cry to someone else, ok? Don't fucking waste my final detention with Vernon crying because no one here gives a shit."

From her sob, I could tell he had broken her down. Honestly, it was rough to listen to all of that because he was downright cruel. I wasn't necessarily a fan of Claire's or her friends either, but I certainly didn't think her actions warranted the verbal beat down she'd just gone through.

"You're such…you're such an asshole."

"Yes, we've established that. And you're a fucking bitch. Now that we both know our place within the high school social hierarchy, perhaps its best we not speak anymore especially when it concerns events that happened last year. Have a nice life, Cherry." Bender stood up and flicked his hair from out of his face. He smirked as he went back to his seat. He watched Claire stand up and walk to the "Periodicals" room and slam the door before propping his feet up on the desk and stretching out.

I looked at the "Periodicals" door for a second too before turning my attention back to Bender, who was staring at me. "Boo," he said as he smiled and looked up at the ceiling. I really didn't know what to say so I waited for a second before returning my attention to my notebook. "Riley, right?" he said and when I looked up, he was seated at the desk in front of me, straddling the chair to face me. This scared the buhjeebus out of me and, naturally, he smirked.

"Uh, yeah, Charlie."

"Charlie Riley? Sounds like the name of an Irish midget," he chuckled but I wasn't amused. He knew who I was, we had met before. He noticed I wasn't laughing at his joke so he coughed and looked in the direction of the periodicals. "Don't cha wanna know what that was about?" He nodded his head in the direction of the door.

"No-not really," I said as I added dots to one of the many swirls I had created on the page before me.

"Why not? Juicy gossip stuff, I assure you," Bender said and I looked up to catch him watching me doodle. "I'm talking primo info, babe."

"S'none of my business," I shrugged.

"Gossip is never anyone's business, that's why people are so hungry for it. They live off the drama."

"Well, not me. It's not my place," I said before returning to my drawing. Bender shrugged.

"Suit yourself, Riley," and he tried made his way back to his spot before my words stopped him.

"Besides, she, she seemed to have hurt you…badly. And, if she doesn't say it to you or if you won't give her the chance to, I'll say it for her-I'm sorry, Bender." He looked at me surprised. He was speechless and I sighed and went back to doodling. "No one deserves to be treated like that. Not even you."

There was a bit of silence and Bender finally moved from the seat in front of me back to his original spot. After about 20 minutes or so, he broke the silence. "You going to Allison's tonight?"

"Huh?"

"Allison's. She's in town for the summer and she's having a little get-together at her place. Are you gonna be there?"

"Oh, yeah, I'll be there." Bender kinda nodded at the new info and went back to staring at the ceiling before humming a rendition of Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell." I continued to doodle in my notebook a little bit longer before I felt my eyelids get really really heavy. I put my pen on the desk put my head down on the desk before shortly dozing off.

"Hey…" I heard in a bit of a whisper as someone gently shook me. "Hey…."

…

"Hey…" and when I opened my eyes, Bender of present day was standing above me and shaking my arm. My headphones must've slid down my face half way through my nap. As I took them off and put the walkman back in my bag, I directed my attention to Bender. "Ah, you're up."

"Yeah," I said as I yawned and immediately thought about the state of my breath. Bender sat down in the chair next to me and placed a pencil behind his ear. "What time is it," I asked as I stared at the TV and Bender looked at the clock on the wall. "Noon," he announced, "lunch time," and he looked back at me with a smile.

"Mmm, lunch sounds good. Your coffee is horrible, by the way."

"Yeah, it's old. Old man Mike comes in at 4 to do paperwork and shit and we all forget it's on all day until we smell that burning smell. Actually had a pot shatter once."

"Did you see it?"

"Nah, heard it though. Anyway, you car's been buffed and, I hope you don't mind, I checked your fluids and did an oil change."

"How much is that gonna cost me?"

"Ah, don't worry about it," he said as he pulled a receipt from his pocket and began to write out all the parts and labor for the job minus all the fluids and oil change.

"You sure? I can pay for it, especially if the car was due for it."

"Tell you what, come to lunch with me, we'll call it even." Now, until this point, I had kinda been in that post-nap daze where you're slowly but surely climbing out of your comfortable slumber but, after he said that, I was hyper aware as to what was going on.

"You wanna go to lunch with me?"

"S'why I asked, Riley. Besides, it's been, what, seven years now?" He looked to me and smiled as I smacked him on the arm.

"So you DID know who I was!" Brat.

"As soon as I saw the last name, I thought of you but I didn't expect you to come in. I kinda figured it'd be your Mom."

"Yeah, well with Dad being in such bad shape, she stayed with him. We switch off, plus with the road's being shitty lately, she doesn't trust herself on the road as much anymore."

"So that's what brings you back."

"Well, it certainly wasn't this weather."

"Damn. And here I thought you'd finally gathered enough balls to tell me you were in love with me. How wrong I was. I should've never let myself get my hopes up." …fucking Allison, I thought. I looked to him for answers but he said, "I didn't need anyone to tell me, but, for the record, it was Brian."

"That little sneak," and Bender laughed. "It isn't funny! I told him with complete confidence in the fact that he'd never breathe a word of it to anyone, especially to you!"

"You dorks are all the same-all book smart and not an inkling of street smarts in you. Don't you know that secrets are best kept private and not shared with anyone? You blab to someone you're basically asking for that secret to be told. Besides, like I said, I didn't need the geek to tell me about your little crush, ok?"

"Really?"

"Nope. "

I turned to look at him and when he raised his eyebrows at me, I laughed and hid my face.

"Jesus, this is embarrassing" I laughed as did he.

"So, burgers? Next door has some good ones and, if I remember correctly, better coffee."

"Any place has better coffee than here."

"Oh, I'm hurt," he said as he stood up to walk behind the desk. I handed him the credit card and paid for the car before remembering I should probably let Ma know what's going on. Bender let me use the shops' phone again as he threw out the remaining coffee and turned the TV off. Ma said all was well at home so I told her I wouldn't be long and hung up.

"We good," Bender asked as he unzipped his jumpsuit to the waist revealing a white undershirt that was snug on him, but a good kind of snug. I nodded and he grabbed a flannel, surprise, and threw it on before he flipped the "closed" sign. On the way to Skip's, I saw Bender had parked the car back where I had parked it earlier and it looked like new.

….

Skip's décor hadn't changed since the 70's with its darkish green glass bulbs above all the tables contrasting with the yellow and orange floral motifs on the walls. A warm feeling of nostalgia washed over me as we were shown to a booth in the back and, before the waitress could begin to ramble off the specials, I asked for coffee."

"You still serve Breakfast 24/7" as I perused the menu.

"Wouldn't still be in business if we didn't," she said cheerfully. I looked up at her and smiled before ordering waffles and bacon.

"Uh, burger, all the trimmings," Bender said as he grabbed his and my menus to hand to the waitress. He then grabbed the ashtray and pulled it towards him before remembering I had mentioned smoking earlier. He moved it in between us in the middle of the table and reached in his pocket for his smokes. I watched and followed suit and, before I could get my own lighter out, Bender offered a light. We both took a drag and exhaled before beginning the conversation.

"So this must've started in college."

"What," I asked, not knowing what he was referring to but when Bender pointed to the cigarettes, I sighed, "Oh, yeah. Well, stress and shit."

"Not to look cooler? That's the normal response."

"Ha ha," I mocked and he chuckled as he ashed his cigarette. "No, I don't need to smoke cigarettes to be cool. Nah, I did it to piss my Dad off and, it kinda stuck. He used to smoke too until he couldn't. He's on oxygen now."

"Damn, and you still smoke?"

"I never smoke around him," I said but realized just how stupid that sounded. Bender rolled his eyes and looked towards the pie case across the room. "I dunno, it's a crutch. Why'd you start?"

"Eh. Something to do, you know?" He directed his attention back at me and ashed again before snubbing it out. "So, tell me Riley, what have you been up to these last few years?"

"I write."

"Hey! I write too," Bender said sarcastically.

"Yeah, but I get paid for it. I write the music column for 'Neo Maxi Zomb-Dweebie?" Bender seemed to either not know what it was or wasn't interested.

"Sounds promising, really," he said unimpressed as he downed his milk. This was the Bender I didn't experience much but, when I did, I never liked it. Claire was right, he was an asshole…but only sometimes.

"What about you? What did you do after high school? Did ya travel, Bender? Did ya go to school?" He seemed taken aback by my sudden change in attitude, but I was done with him being cool on second and judgmental the next. "Bender, what do you want me to say? What can I say to you that you won't shit all over, huh? I graduated Shermer and got the hell outta Dodge, man. Got a scholarship at Berkeley, got a degree in writing and good job right away. I'm back here to take care of my parents. I don't know how long that will be, so let's look at it like it's indefinitely. I don't have a boyfriend, the last one was an asshole Roadie for a college band you've probably never heard of and that was, at least, 2 years ago."

"So, 2 years since,…" Seriously, I thought to myself and scoffed.

"Yeah."

"Explains a lot," he said as the waitress brought our food out.

"Okay," she said in a chipper tone, "Waffles and a side of bacon and a burger with all the trimmings. Anything else? More coffee? Milk?" We both nodded for more and the waitress complied.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I asked in a pointed, hushed tone so as not to have the waitress hear.

"You've been a little up tight since we got here, Riley. Just making an observation." I wanted to slap him.

"Fuck you, Bender," and he looked up at me and made an "oh, I'm so scared" face. "You know, I wouldn't be acting so uptight if you didn't just shit over everything I've told you in regards to my whereabouts the last 7 years. I got out of here, you stayed. Don't be so fucking bitter," and for a good ten minutes, the two of us ate in silence. Every so often, I'd look up and catch him looking at me which would make me put my head back down again.

"Sorry, Riles," he said quietly and I looked up at him again. He looked genuinely apologetic and I shrugged. "Apology accepted," I said and grabbed a piece of bacon.

"So what about you, Bender, really? What or who have you been doing these last couple years?"

"Well, Vernon did actually let me graduate and a short time after that, Dad croaked."

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry," I said, completely forgetting the absolutely terrible relationship he had with his parents. That's what Allison had told me, anyway.

"S'fine. He actually left us a little bit of money. Ma changed, became nicer and I ended up getting into a trade school. Mike's son is a buddy of mine and he offered me a job at the shop. I've been there for, shit, 5 years now."

"Like it?"

"Yeah, I mean, it's what I like to do and the pay's decent. It's just me and mom at the house, not a lot of bills but between the two of us, so, we do ok," he stuffed the final French fry from his plate into his mouth while I still had another waffle or two still left on my plate. He ate like a vacuum cleaner. As he chugged his second glass of milk, the waitress returned and let him know he had dessert coming and he ran to the pie case. When he returned, he sat and looked to the waitress's name tag. "Fiona, is it?"

"Yeah, sugar, did you decide?"

"Yes, I would like a piece of blueberry ala mode."

"Alright," she said and turned to me, "Still working on that, Hon? Wanna box?" I nodded and asked for more coffee.

"So, you talk to Brian or Allison," Bender asked, pulling out another cigarette.

"I haven't. I can only assume they're well. I'd love to see them."

"Well, Allison is still in town but Brian is in Chicago. He works for a computer company up there or something."

"Allison still with Andy?"

"Yeah, they're gonna have a kid," Bender mentioned casually while I scrambled to lift my jaw up from the floor.

"What? Are they married?"

Bender shook his head, "Nope. I mean, I think they will now but eh. They both work at Shermer, of all places. She teaches art there, he's a coach."

"Jesus, I get Andy, but why would Allison voluntarily return there?"

"Well Vernon's gone so I'd imagine it's a bit nicer…less Barry Manilow-y." That made me laugh.

"So, what happened to him, I wonder?"

Bender ashed his cigarette and shrugged, "Who cares? I mean, last I heard, he retired to Florida."

"And what about Claire," I asked, though I knew I was treading on dangerous ground with that inquiry. Bender looked up at me, back down, and, as if on cue, the waitress arrived with his pie and Bender acted like a five year old. I assumed that was fate's way of telling me to drop it, but he seemed to pick it back up again.

"I haven't spoken to her since our detention in the library many moons ago. I can only hope she fulfilled my prophecy," he said as he took a bite of the dessert before him. He looked so happy as he slowly savored that bite. "Anyway," he swallowed, "I thought you didn't wanna know about all that."

"People talk, Bender. There were four other people there that day," I reminded. Allison told me a little bit of everything that went down that day and, for the most part, Brian confirmed or filled in bits she didn't know about. I know they kissed. "Besides, I don't know much."

"Do you wanna know now?" he asked but, when I hadn't said anything after a second, he told me anyway. "I kissed her in front of her Daddy causing enough drama to have her parent's feud through the weekend. She and I met up Sunday but she wouldn't let me do anything, just make out with her. When I went to put my arm around her Monday, she made a huge scene and the rest you know."

"She did the same thing to Allison. Allison said 'hi' to her and she cut her up to all her friends," Bender looked ticked off when I told him, but not much he could do now. "And when she saw me, she did the same."

"Fucking bitch," he said as he finished the final bite of his pie. "Oh well, probably as I had predicted. I know she left. I think her brother's the only one that still lives out here, but I dunno," and with that, he waved his hand and motioned for the check. Once it came, I snatched it from his hand and ran to pay for it. I managed to reach the register and hand the cashier the money when I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around my waist and physically move me from the spot. Bender let go and asked the cashier to give me my money back so he could pay, but the cashier said the transaction was complete and told us to have a nice day. Bender turned to see me with my hands on my hips and a smug look of success on my face.

"You know what this means, don't you," he asked as moved closer to me, trademark smirk on his face.

"Huh," I asked. He was close. So close, I had to look up just to make eye contact with him. I had forgotten just how much taller he was than me, a whole head taller.

"We're gonna have to go to dinner now. I'll pay. I can't let my friends find out a girl paid for my lunch. People may talk!"

"Yeah? What's for dinner?" And Bender leaned in really close and I felt the warmth of his breath as he whispered in my ear, "You're wearing it." This sent a shiver through my spine, so I smacked him on the arm and moved past him to leave the restaurant, but he wasn't too far behind. "Riles! Wait," he shouted and I turned to see he had a bag with my diner food in it. "You almost forgot your waffles," he said handing me the bag.

"Thanks for grabbing 'em," I said before I put my hand out for the keys.

"Ah," he said as he held them over my head, "Dinner?"

"When?"

"Whenever. You said you're with your folks?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Number's in the book. Can I call you?" I thought about it for a second hoping he'd think I was ditching him but he shrugged and turned around to head back to the shop with my keys still in hands. I reached out and grabbed him to pull him back to me. When he reached me, he looked down at me with this spark in his eyes-honestly, I think it was lust which caused me to feel tingly all over. That's corny, but it's the best way to put it. I gulped louder than I expected and he smiled and raised an eyebrow. "So?"

Again, I couldn't speak, so I just grinned and nodded as I raised my open hand. He placed the keys in it and closed my hand around the keys with his other hand. I don't know why, but I thought that was ridiculously cute. We kinda remained like that for a moment and a thought occurred to me. Was he going to kiss me? I mean, we were there, there was this warmth between our bodies-of course, it could be the cold and the proximity of our bodies-and I thought we had like, this sort of moment? But instead, he let go of my hand with the keys and stepped back. "Later, Riley."

I stood there in the parking lot between Skip's and the shop and watched as he walked back towards the entrance. He turned around to see me still staring at him and waved before flipping the sign back to "open."