Chapter Two: Nice Kitty

The Dark One discovered over the course of three weeks how little she knew about the ins and outs of being totally badass.

Regina had whisked her off to her crypt at random times of day and night - "away from prying eyes and safe from scorch marks on the rug" - to train her in all manner of villainy with a side of snark.

Those brown, sharp eyes followed her every move. Never wavering, never tiring. It was disconcerting.

"No! More growl, more menace, more strut!" Regina wrenched The Dark One's shoulders back. "You're not Snow White boring your enemies into comas! Have you even being paying attention? Now try again."

The Dark One glowered. She'd never been great at school but you'd think being the pinnacle of all-out evil would automatically bestow on her some awesome comprehension skills or, like, 10 extra IQ points or something. Instead there seemed to be something really freaking wrong with her faculties.

She felt Regina come up behind her, pressing her body against hers as she grabbed and manipulated her various body parts into a suitably menacing pose. "Hands on both hips, dear, this isn't a wild west whorehouse."

Regina's hand covered her fingers and jerked a hand to one hip. Those soft breasts were now crushed into her back and the Dark One felt her breath hitch. The strange ball of dark energy pulsating through her that she'd come to think of as her wicked, witchy, evil, black cat, woke up, stretched provocatively, and started purring, sending excited little shivers through her. She felt her heart skyrocket and promptly forgot what she was supposed to be thinking about.

Again.

"If you don't pay attention we could be at this all week," Regina husked into her ear and then stepped away.

The Dark One swallowed. Yeah. That would be terrible.

She wasn't entirely sure that Regina wasn't just messing with her now. Half the training seemed a little out there.

An hour later she was convinced of that fact when she had to shake herself out after having been instructed on the fine art of turning herself into ... a bat.

She glanced around. While she'd been flapping blindly around the crypt in mammalian form - bat-shit crazy in itself, pun intended - Regina had obviously gone off to make herself a honeyed tea.

The Dark One paused her musings. Who the hell puts a kitchenette in a crypt? Or a dressing room come to think of it?

But when her human-once-more eyes finally refocused, there sat Regina, legs crossed on a green velvet chaise lounge, stirring her tea with a spoon still dripping with a semi-dissolved gloop of honey. Regina licked the spoon as she watched the Dark One going through the process of mentally counting human fingers and toes.

"Well look who's back. Enjoy yourself?" Regina drawled. Her tongue darted out and slid around the spoon again.

Holy shit.

"Um. What was the point of that again? I mean, Christ Regina, a bat?"

"Your senses get heightened depending on the creature you become. There's always some residue of their abilities for up to an hour or so when you return to human form."

Liiick.

"Even now you can still sense how bright the room seems, and your hearing is still better," Regina continued. "The acoustics in my crypt are excellent for sensitive bat ears, which is why I chose that form to demonstrate what you can do. You're now ready for your next lesson. I have placed a fly in the other room. Tell me exactly where it is."

The Dark One tore her eyes from that teasing pink tongue with its teaspoon fixation and shut her eyes as she focused. She could hear the faintest dusting of rustling sounds.

"Um... The upper level, north wall, crawling up vault the door." Her eyes popped open.

"Excellent," Regina purred. She placed her teacup on the floor and extended her body fully along the chaise lounge, leaning on one elbow and crossing her legs at the ankles. She was watching the Dark One closely. Ever-so-casually Regina ordered: "Now pull its wings off."

"What?! Eww!"

"With your mind."

"Creepy much?"

Regina flicked at invisible lint on her grey dress. The Dark One recognized it as the outfit Regina had worn the day she'd chainsawed the mayor's favorite apple tree.

Good times.

"What did that fly do to you, anyway?" she protested, still revolted.

Regina sighed. "You really are terrible at villainy."

"And you are way too good at it. What the hell is this?"

"THIS is why you wanted my expertise. Isn't it?" An eyebrow arched.

"For humans! Not little insects. I haven't got time for this crap."

"If you're too squeamish to dismember a single fly, how can you be expected to wreak havoc on a town full of humans?" That impossibly smug eyebrow rose higher. "Unless... you don't want to wreak havoc on anyone?"

Regina sounded far too casual and the Dark One couldn't help but wonder whether this was some sort of crazy test. Regina was full of weird-ass games like this.

So, she rose to the challenge. She was The Dark One after all. Her evil inner cat stretched its claws indignantly and she felt the swirl of dark energy as her anger rose. "Of course I want to wreak havoc," she shot back, pinning Regina with her most menacing glare.

"Then prove it," Regina replied implacably. "Wings off the fly. Now."

"That's so gross."

"Yes. And you're clearly not nearly as dark as you pretend." Regina rose suddenly and stepped inside her space. The blonde's nostrils flared at the intrusion, noting the hint of hair spray and floral notes of shampoo. Her heightened senses also detected pheromones, a faint trace of perspiration and that heady scent that was uniquely Regina. Her feline beast growled its approval.

Regina tilted her head and regarded her. "You aren't even a little dark underneath all your outward pyrotechnics, are you, dear?" Her finger lifted to the blonde's cheek and traced the line of cheekbone. It was more pronounced since The Change. Regina's voice dropped to a cool whisper.

"Oh you have all the rest convinced. Even Henry's unsure. But the truth is, Storybrooke's newest Dark One, literally wouldn't hurt a fly." She gave her a knowing smile, all flashing teeth and condescension.

The Dark One shut her eyes with a furious snap. When she opened them again, they glinted. "The fly's wings are gone. It's dead," she hissed. "Don't fucking doubt me again, Regina. I passed your stupid test."

Regina considered her, face impassive. "You believe that was the test?" She tsked. "That was nothing. Do you know what my entry into pure evil contained?"

She slid her hand up the black corset in front of her until it rested over The Dark One's heart. Its thudding picked up. She tapped the leather and whalebone construct sharply with two fingers. Her face was cool and the Dark One felt the shift from playful to something bleak and cold.

"I had to rip out Daddy's heart. I crushed it before his eyes. He looked at me with such sadness, such shattered loss and love. And he allowed me to do it. Because it's what I wanted."

The Dark One sucked in a breath, unable to hide her shock. "The fuck?! Why would you kill him? Didn't you have a ton of minions you could have sacrificed first?"

"I needed the heart of the one I loved most," Regina said, face devoid of emotion. "And if you truly want to embrace this dark side..." her hand did a softer tap against Emma's breast, "then you need to be prepared to kill the one you love the most, too."

"I... w-what?!" The Dark One's eyes bugged out.

"You really think you're so dark you could kill our son?" Regina tilted her head, eyes challenging. Disbelief clear across her face. "Shall we see?"

The Dark One viciously shoved her away, recoiling. Her action catapulted Regina to the other side of the room. Regina magically slowed her tumbling fall and landed gracefully on her knees. She stood again and without a word snapped her fingers.

Henry suddenly appeared. He'd clearly been sitting at his desk at school because he suddenly dropped to the ground with a plop and a startled cry. He looked around, dazed.

"What?! Moms? Huh?"

"Good morning, Henry. I just need you for a moment." Regina turned to the woman staring at her, mouth hanging open. "Shall we see how serious you are about this endeavor? How truly committed? Well? Go ahead!"

"I am not going to..." the Dark One gasped in disbelief. She faded out as Henry looked at her curiously, wondering what she was so opposed to doing.

Emma snapped her fingers and Henry disappeared.

"Leave our son out of this! That's so sick! And of course I'm not going to kill him."

"The moment you chose the darkest path, that affected our son. He is already involved. I need to know your level of commitment. Simply pretending Henry is not your weakness, your entree into pure evil, doesn't make it true."

She waved her hand and Henry reappeared.

"Moms! Quit it! Grandma is getting really pissed at me popping in and out of her class. She says it's distracting and even Dark Ones should know better."

The Dark One in question folded her arms and glowered at Regina. "There - now you've pissed off Mom."

Regina held her gaze. "How terrible. I apologize, Henry, but I'm just making a point to your other mother. She seems reluctant to acknowledge certain realities."

"Oooh," Henry's eyes widened. "Are you two..." His eyes darted back and forth between them. "You are! Are you finally admitting you like each other?" He beamed with excitement and his eyebrows did a cute waggle.

Two heads whipped around to look at him in astonishment.

"What?!" Emma gasped. And for a second she looked exactly like her old self.

"Henry!" Regina snapped at the same time.

"What?" he asked them innocently. "I mean look at you! You're always disappearing off together to 'train' Emma. Alone. In the middle of the night sometimes, too..."

"It's quietest then!" Regina protested. "No distractions!"

"Yeah kid!" The Dark One glared. Her eyes did the lightning flashy thing.

Henry's eyes widened. "That is so cool. Do it again!"

"No!" The Dark One lifted her fingers to snap him back to class.

"Wait! If you're not having the talk about being into each other, what are you doing?" Henry asked. "I mean, moms, come on - I've seen the way you check out each other's butts when you think no one's looking."

"Henry!" Regina protested at the same time the Dark One snapped hotly: "I do not!"

The blonde turned back to Regina and cocked an eyebrow, a realization hitting her. Then she snapped her fingers, returning her son to class.

"That wasn't really Henry, was it?" the Dark One said. "God, you're cunning. But I know you'd never put him in harm's way. You'd never risk me killing him just to prove you wrong."

"It was the real Henry," Regina said. She pursed her lips. "As if I'd program some duplicate to imagine us being together."

"Oh. Right. Yeah, good point. Shit."

"But you're right: I never would put Henry in harm's way. And I also know you would never hurt the one you love most. Because I know you're not even close to as dark as you pretend. All you are is someone who is high on an overwhelming and intoxicating power kick, and relieved to be shedding the straitjacket of expectations your family put you in. I know all about that. But Emma, that doesn't make you evil. It makes you normal. Chafing and frustrated, yes, but normal." She took a step closer and took The Dark One's hand just as she was about to protest.

She could feel Regina's thumb stroking the back of it. Tingles shot all over her skin and she glanced up.

"I love feeling this way," she said, trying to explain how the darkness made her feel 10-feet tall and superhuman. "I don't want to lose that."

"I know."

"Even Mom backed off for once." She gave her a half grin. "And you know how persistent she can be."

"I'm well aware. Though when it comes to you, she likely means well. But, Emma, you're an adult. And shocking as it may be, you can live your own life without having to be the Dark One to do so."

"I don't want to go back to who I was," Emma snapped. "She was pathetic."

"Oh I know." Regina smiled.

"Oh ha ha." The Dark One scowled. "You know, I can actually turn you into something. Mosquito, statue, dog shit..."

"Emma," Regina shook her head, "just be grateful you'll never be like me. Or Gold. Face it, dear, you just don't have it in you. You're essentially too good."

The Dark One wanted to protest but for some reason that thumb was doing weird things to her brain. Emma's skin felt on fire.

"I'm the Dark One," she tried. "All powerful and, and... twisted." She swallowed.

"Yes," Regina agreed smoothly. "Super dark. Very twisty. We're all in fear of your wicked, wicked ways."

"You're mocking me!"

"Emma," Regina said, "it's actually remarkable that even with the ultimate dark forces rippling through you, I couldn't even persuade you to rip the wings off a fly."

"I-I killed it."

"No you didn't. You transported it to Hook's room at Granny's. And charmed it to be both invisible and to never die."

"Oh. You could tell that?"

"You think I don't recognize the magical signature of my own spell? I've used it often enough lately."

"Oh God, you have?" The Dark One laughed at the thought of Hook being driven mad by invisible, never-dying, zombie flies crowding his room.

Regina shrugged faintly, lips twitching. "Call it a community service. I should probably alert Eugenia before she calls the exterminators though."

The Dark One looked at her in astonishment. "God," she said in awe, "you have such a twisted mind."

Regina's lips pressed together sourly.

"No, sorry, not like that. I mean it's creative. And zapping in Henry to make a point? That was clever. But he was always safe, you know?"

"Of course. I'd never have risked him if I didn't know that."

"No, I mean, you said my weakness is the person I love the most. And ... uh, I love the kid, I really do. But...he's not..."
She stared into Regina's eyes. She mumbled something.

"What was that dear?"

"I said, not that it matters, but he's not the one I love most, so it's hardly a true test of anything."

Regina's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Well then, far be it for me to not fully test your resolve."

She waved a hand. Snow White appeared, holding a piece of chalk.

"Emma! What are you... oh. Regina."

"Snow," Regina drawled and folded her arms.

"Mom," the Dark One sighed.

"What are you two doing, transporting people around like this!" Snow asked. She glared at her daughter. "Honestly! Are you both children?"

"This is the one you love above all else?" Regina asked archly.

"I can hear you, you know," Snow said. Then her face broke into a smile. "Oh Emma, I knew you were still in there. So - you love me? Most?" She looked beside herself with joy.

The Dark One looked sourly at Regina. "I hate you."

Regina smirked and inclined her head. "Feel free to kill her now to demonstrate your evilness."

"Regina!" Snow gasped.

The Dark One sighed and waved her hand. Snow vanished.

"Ha freaking ha. So hilarious. And it wasn't her I love most, either. And before you bring in David, not Dad. Nor Ruby."

Regina's face whitened. "I swear if you love that stalkery pirate, I will send you to Dr Hopper for an emergency evaluation."

"I'd like to see you try." The Dark One did her party trick again and cracked her knuckles, sending sparks shooting out playfully from her hands.

"Is it that girl? Maleficent's daughter?" Regina asked, completely ignoring the impressive fireworks display.

"Lily? Hell no. We were more sisterly. Like you and Maleficent."

A strange look crossed Regina's face. "Er, yes," she repeated. "Sisterly." She cleared her throat, a flush rising up cheeks.

"Oh wow," the Dark One's eyes widened in understanding. "You and Maleficent?"

Regina's blush deepened. "Do not knock dragon sex till you've tried it," she said sternly.

The Dark One sucked in a breath. "Shit. And are you two, still..." She tried to keep the bitter kick from her voice. It surprised her, the speed with which her black beast sprang to attention and began to hiss and spit. She felt it rumbling inside, at the thought of the two women coming together.

The way Regina's head shot up to study her, the Dark One knew she had failed at hiding her jealousy.

"Oh," the mayor said softly.

The Dark One licked her lips. The beast sat up on its haunches, ready to pounce if Regina rejected her. Ready to pounce if she accepted her. The turmoil swirled and Emma felt herself growing hot.

Regina stared at her for a beat and then smiled. She kissed her. Everything trembled and for the briefest of moments the Dark One felt she was just Emma again. It was like a balm, those soft lips moving against hers. Her skin flushed all over. The powers inside her surged and ebbed.

Regina pulled back and whispered against her ear. "I'm an expert on the darkness. And I know how to make it crawl into a corner if need be. It just needs to know there's no reason for it to come off the leash."

"I see the darkness as being like a cat," Emma replied. "It's dark, moody, crazy territorial and finds you fucking arousing."

Regina's fingers stroked Emma's hands as if reassuring Emma there were no claws on her fingers.

"Remember how I told you sex is different when one is evil?" Regina asked softly.

Emma nodded and swallowed.

"It's about the power play. You can have anyone you want and everyone in your realm knows it." Regina leaned forward and her voice became husky and low. "Do you want to claim me? Make me yours? Take every little bit of me? And have me do the same to you?"

Emma gasped. Her eyes had almost turned black.

Regina's fingers ran up Emma's ass and she gave it a slow squeeze. "Hello kitty. Time for your final lesson."

Three hours later, Emma lay staring at the ceiling of Regina's bedroom. They were naked, tangled, drenched in sweat and she felt different. Lighter. Sated.

Making love to Regina had been a revelation. They'd held nothing back. There was power and there was gentleness. There was gasping and fluffy handcuffs. And she truly had no idea how her panties had ended all the way up there.

Regina stirred, fingers trailing across Emma's hip against her bare skin.

Emma blushed hotly. She could feel the twitching tail of the dark creature inside her. It twitched again, burning to be unleashed a second time.

Regina leaned into her and murmured against her bare breast. "Please tell kitty to relax." Her lips lifted and nibbled against Emma's neck. "I'd be happy to stroke her. I'd be happy to explain to her how I'm a one-pussy ... cat ... woman. And I'd be happy to tell her that I love you, too."

Emma felt the essence that was the Dark One curl up into a ball. It purred as Regina took her in her arms once more. Then it went contentedly to sleep.