Chapter 6 – Denial of Magic

The party of adventurers looked up at the sky. It was filled with flying shapes.

"Look!" said Mabel/Maybelle of the Woodlands. "Dragons!"

"Dozens of them," said Sir Orrin the knight. "Led by a griffon."

"The odds are hopeless," said Dipper/Gorbasch the dragon.

"It may be hopeless, but, I'll take down a few of them before they get me," said Ford/Smerghol the dragon.

"Let me take my old enemy, the griffon Bree-awk," said Sir. Orrin.

"If I'm gonna die, let me die a dragons killer," said Grenda/Grendo the elf.

"No offense, Dipper and Ford, but I'm suddenly hungry for dragon," growled Stan/Arrgh the wolf.

"Wait, we've got a chance," said Dipper. "Sir Orrin, in your saddle pack, the tiny golden flute. Give it to Grendo."

"That's right," said Ford. "Coralinus said the music from it is supposed to charm dragons to sleep."

Sir Orrin pulled the instrument from his saddle bag and tossed it to Grenda.

"Can you play it?" asked Mabel. "I just sing; I don't play an instrument."

"Candy let me try her flute from music camp a few times," said Grenda. "I'll try."

The playing was highly off-key, but fortunately it didn't matter. All the dragons that heard it fell asleep, and they dropped from the air and landed gently on the ground. The lighter-than-air gasses within them prevented them from being hurt.

"And they are down, all the dragons," said Princess Unatainabelle in her visionary trance.

"Destroyed?" asked Coralinus.

"Asleep," said Unatainabelle.

"But an enchanted sleep," said Coralinus. "When they awaken, Probabilitor's spell over them will be broken. They will join us! The Polyhedral-Tipped Staff may soon be ours."

"Nay, Father," said Unatainabelle. "One still is awake. Bree-awk is a griffon; the flute had no power over him. He has blood on his mind and can take them all."

"Dipper and Ford will fight him," said Coralinus.

"No, Father. Sir Dipper and Sir Ford, being dragons, now sleep too."

"Awaken old boy. We've won!" cried Sir Orrin, trying to rouse Dipper.

"I've never seen Dipper as deep asleep at this," said Mabel with a chuckle. "If I had a marker I could draw a mustache on him."

Bree-awk came swooping down. "Puny scum of Coralinus! Prepare to die!"

The griffon bowled over the knight and flew at Mabel, who shot an arrow and missed. Bree-awk grabbed up Mabel in one claw and Grenda in the other, swooped up, and dropped them from a great height. They landed hard and didn't move.

"No!" said Sir Orrin,running to Mabel. "Oh, my darling! Dead!"

Bree-awk came in low to attack Sir Orrin. "I'll crush you both, you filthy crawlies!"

"You can't attack my grand-niece and get away with it," growled Stan, leaping at the griffon and biting him in the chest.

Bree-awk batted him away with a powerful swipe of his wing. Stan fell to the ground, another casualty.

"Grendo, my darling Maybelle, and Arrgh too!" said Sir Orrin.

He held up his sword. "Blade, with whom I have lived. Blade, with whom I now die. Serve right and justice, one last time. Seek one last heart of evil. Still one last life of pain. Cut well old friend, and then... farewell."

"Praying?" said the griffon with a laugh. "Now die."

Sir Orrin threw his sword in a desperate move as the griffon swooped in for the kill. Blessed by the paladin's prayer, it pieced a vital spot and the griffon was done for, but not before he crash-landed hard on top of Sir Orrin.

Sir Orrin groaned and reached out toward Mabel. "I would have... lived a life with thee, lassie. So now I die."

Nobody was left standing. With blue flash the wizard Probabilitor (a.k.a. Omhadawn) appeared.

"I am victorious!" shouted Omhadawn.

"Not quite yet," said Dipper.

"Well, well, well," said Omhadawn. "A player! How did you shed your dragon form, you filthy little man-thing?"

"As Gorbasch slept, I suddenly thought, 'Two things can't occupy the same place at the same time'," said Dipper. "Then suddenly I was myself again. I guess logic is stronger than magic."

"Stronger than my magic? Hahahahaha!" said Probabilitor. He drew in his power, growing bigger and uglier, with seven dragon heads. "Lo! I... have gathered... the sum total... of the worlds evil... in one place. And that place is me. I am invincible! No magic is stronger! Give or take an error of 0.4."

"I doubt that," said Dipper.

"I can do anything. Test me. I can reach up and pluck down the Sun," said Probabilitor.

"You can't do that," said Dipper.

"Why? Why, you insect?"

"Why? The Sun is too far away. If you reach for it, you'd be reaching at where it was eight and a half minutes ago."

"Ridiculous. You cannot deny my power!"

"I do deny you."

"Deny me and you deny all magic. Can you do that? Say it."

"I... I can't," said Dipper. "I've had too much experience magic this summer to deny it."

"Then I win. All your scientific knowledge just makes a smarter brain for me to eat, to gain your intelligence," said Probabilitor. "That's what I do."

"I can deny magic," said Stan, standing up. "Magic to me means nothing but trouble."

"Grunkle Stan!" said Dipper.

"But you were the wolf, and you were killed by my griffon," said Probabilitor.

"Nah. I heard what the kid said and he's right. I'm no wolf, so I couldn't die as a wolf. I'm me, Stanley Pines. This is all some special effects in a nerd game."

"I'll make you kneel before me and snivel," said Probabilitor. "Come devils, witches, demons, ogres, trolls, sand rats, harpies, ghouls, sorcerers."

"Oh yeah? Come regular dumb human stuff. Come credit cards, oil changes, speed traps, tourist traps, deodorant soap, spare tires..."

"Aaah!" Proabilitor/Omadawn screamed as the litany continued. The multiple dragon heads exploded, and the wizard himself began to fade. "I'm turning into pure math! What are the oooooddss?"

The ground around them turned greener and the dragons woke up. Sir Orrin revived. So did Grendo the elf, Maybelle of the Woodlands, Gorbasch, and Smerghol, all with their original personalities and without their players.

"Behold my darling, the magical realm," said Sir Orrin.

"And look, it's Coralinus," said Maybelle,

The home of the wizard floated down and landed near them.

"I am home," said Coralinus. "We are home."

Inside the house, by the bedside of Princess Unatainabelle, the original group of players flickered into view.

"You did it, Stanley," said Ford. "You defeated fantasy with the power of the mundane. Now that you've denied magic, we won't be able to stay here. We'll return home in a moment."

"Good," said Stan.

"Yeah!" said Grenda, pumping her arm in the air.

"Woop woop!" said Mabel.

"Dipper, there's just enough time to wake the princess with a kiss," said Ford.

"Who, me?" said Dipper. He bent down to kiss Princess Unatainabelle, and her eyes suddenly opened.

"You? You're Sir Dipper? You're much too young for me!" said the Princess. "And if one of you two men is Sir Ford, you're much too old. Begone from here!"

With that, they all popped back into the normal world of the Mystery Shack living room.

"Well, she's not called Unatainabelle for nothing," said Ford.

"That was some game, or dream I guess it was," said Stan.

"Look at the clock!" said Mabel. "If this is the same day, then no time passed at all while we were there. Let's turn on the TV and see if we can still catch the Duck-tective season finale."

"I'll watch with you," said Dipper. "I need to unwind from the dragon stuff."

"I will, too," said Ford. "I've had enough DD&MD for a while."

Stan said, "Dipper, that game might be too nerdy for me, but it's just the right amount of nerdy for you and my brother. If you two wanna hang out sometimes, I won't get in your way."

"Thanks, Grunkle Stan," said Dipper.

"I want to play again some time," said Mabel. "That was super duper fun. I even almost got a knight boyfriend."

"It's usually not that... vivid," said Dipper. "It takes lots of imagination."

"I love imagination," said Mabel.

"I'll help you roll up a character," said Dipper. "But first, we have to make a lot of graphs."

"Oh..." said Mabel. "Let's just watch Duck-tective together, then."

THE END